Butcher's Bill: Chapter 4, Aftermath
The sun beat down on what had been a battlefield barely an hour before. The damp chill that Harry had known all that morning was a memory under the cloudless sky. After applying a sweet-smelling, magical salve to his burns and bandaging them up the Aurors began questioning him as to what happened after the Weasley family had evacuated. He had explained to three different Aurors by the time the Weasleys had finally come back. Ginny had been revived from the stunner, but she was still very confused. She was asking whether Harry had betrayed them... which wasn't helping Harry that he had to answer that hard question, why she was saying such a thing. He avoided being caught in lies by telling as close to the truth as he could, without admitting the final spell he had used. He had said that Ginny might be saying such things because it was him who stunned her in order to stop the Death Eaters from using the Imperious Curse on her, he said the spell he used that killed Lucious Malfoy was a series of multiple stunners. He remembered that simultaneous stunners had put Professor McGonagall into the hospital at the end of the previous year, so he suspected repeated stunners would be dangerous as well. By the time the Aurors were finished with him he was bone weary and ravenous for lunch, because any meal could no longer be called breakfast, even though he hadn't eaten since the night before.
A fraction of the purple inferno that had hit Harry had put Hermione up for more than a week, Harry was more badly wounded than he had thought. It looked like it was St. Mungo's for Harry for the second time in as many days. The burn didn't feel like it was getting any worse though and he really didn't want to go back. St. Mungo's never held good memories for Harry. He supposed hospitals never did. He asked if it would be alright to spend the time he needed to recover at the Weasley's. The aurors put their heads together and a moment later it was agreed, Harry could spend the rest of the summer at the Weasley's, provided he was taking care of his wounds. Leaving a supply of salve and bandages they made off with the body of Lucious Malfoy.
The wide variety of expressions on the Weasleys gave him pause. Ron was looking at the ground, a blank look on his face, he kicked a pebble absently. Molly's back was to Harry; she was hugging Ginny without restraint. Ginny was looking at Harry with an odd mix of suspicion and deep gratitude. Fred was looking at the body of Lucious with a bitter look in his eyes. Arthur was anxiously looking at Ginny, obviously overjoyed that his only daughter survived all but certain death. He didn't need to deal with all that just yet, so he quickly mumbled something about the sun being too hot and left before anybody could miss him. He fled their frenzied appreciation, their accusation and their subtle animosity. He found a shadowy spot under a tree far away from the house and plopped to the ground.
He lay there for several hours, staring up at the leafy branches protecting him from the bright sun hanging in the clear blue sky. It was a beautiful day. He thought of things while he lay there. He thought of Voldemort, of Belatrix, of the Weasleys. He was responsible to kill Voldemort, but the duel this morning woke him up to several problems. The first was that he knew nothing of the advanced Dark arts that were the weapons of the Death Eaters. The second was that he had no idea how to even hurt the Dark lord, much less kill him. When his spell hit Voldemort it had no effect. Harry curled up slightly, thinking harder by relaxing his mind. Relaxing his mind sent him into a light doze which deepened into a true nap. His unconcious mind continued to work on the subject as he slept. It was as such that Ginny came upon him much later, a stack of sandwiches on a plate and a thermos full of fruit flavored punch in her arms. She smiled down at the sleeping boy, in his sleep all his problems and worries slid off his face, giving him an innocent look like that of a little boy. She nudged him in the small of his back with the tip of her toe. Harry shot awake scrambling wildly to look at his assailant, a look of suprised fear on his face. When he saw Ginny he froze, looking very silly. Ginny began to laugh lightly at his vulnerability. Harry looked away,
"What's so funny?" That just set her off again. When she finally calmed down she put forth the plate of sandwiches.
"Here, I got you some lunch." Harry looked suprised again, but hurried to thank her.
"Thanks a lot, I was just getting hungry." He took the top sandwich. Ginny made no indication of eating herself.
"You're not going to eat?" Harry asked.
"I made them for you, I don't need any." Ginny responded.
"It's not as fun to eat alone, come on, sit down." Harry insisted. Ginny acquiesced, picking up a one of her own sandwiches, Harry took a bite.
"Wow, these are really good." Harry complimented.
"They're just sandwiches, they're nothing special." Ginny said, evading the compliment.
Ginny took a small bite and had to admit they were unusually good sandwiches.
"Look, Harry, I came out here to thank you for saving me this morning." A dark look crossed Harry's face, knowing where Ginny was going with this.
"It was nothing, don't worry about it." Harry said. Ginny looked down at her sandwich, taking another bite.
"I came here for more than just courtesy sandwiches and a thank you."
Harry finished his sandwich, preparing himself for what was next, an interrogation on why he had come after her, and why he had stunned her while she was rousing.
"I need to tell you that I'm not in love with you."
This suprised Harry, somehow he had never made the connection between the Ginny who had fought Death Eaters and the scared little girl on the floor of the Chamber of Secrets who couldn't keep her wits about her when he was in the same room.
"I got over you a while ago, but I still appreciate what you did to save me, so if I act different in public, distant, know that it's only because I want to stop talk before it starts."
"Talk?" Harry questioned
"When I had my prepubecent crush on you I didn't exactly make any secret about it, and some people have long memories. The type of rumors that would circulate if I'm too friendly with you after the news breaks that you saved my life..." Ginny paused before continuing, "...again, would destroy a new relationship like the one I have with Dean."
Harry was quite taken aback by this,
"You've put quite a bit of thought into this haven't you?"
"I thought it was fairly obvious."
Harry shrugged, "I won't be offended if you ignore me at school. I understand that public opinions can make or break a relationship." Harry said, thinking of the many times in his short stint of "dating" Cho when it seemed like her feelings were dictated by the attitudes of others. "I just don't understand why."
Harry, figured he had gotten off without having to tell her why he had stunned her and grabbed another sandwich. Ginny took another sandwich herself and casually asked, "So, why did you go out on your own after me?"
Harry nearly choked on his sandwich. He had to cut her off before she got going or she'd eventually get to the big one.
"I didn't want another death to happen because of me."
"But why did you leave the house?" Harry asked
"When you didn't come in after me I went back out to look for you, then a Death Eater appeared and cursed me." Ginny said, a funny look in her eyes. Harry nodded, finishing his second sandwich and starting in on his third. They really were quite good.
"Nice weather we've got today." Harry said, trying to change the subject, but it really was. The thick fog had fully dissipated and the few clouds that might have obscured the sun were small and fluffy, perfect conditions for laying back under the shade of a tree on a hill and looking at clouds passing overhead.
"Yeah, I guess it is."
After finishing his third sandwich Harry leaned back and pointed at a cloud.
"What do you think that cloud looks like?"
Ginny looked up and saw an unusually squarish cloud. "I don't know, maybe a book."
"I think it looks like a sandwich."
"What is it with you and sandwiches today?"
"I don't know, I think I'm just hungry." Harry picked up the last sandwich from the plate.
"Hey, what do you think that one looks like?"
They sat and talked for a bit more, Harry frequently bemoaning the fact that there were no more sandwiches and Ginny laughing at him. After a while they decided it was getting towards dinnertime and it was time to head in. As they were brushing the grass off their clothes Ginny turned to Harry and asked,
"Oh, by the way, why did you stun me?"
Harry had thought of no false excuse, but could not possibly tell her the truth of his actions.
"You don't want to know." was all he could say.
Ginny stood with a blank look on her face for several moments. She shook her head.
"No, I'm pretty sure I do want to know" She said, Harry gritted his teeth,
"But I don't want to tell you is the problem." he responded
"Why not, is it bad? It'd have to be if you don't want to tell me." Ginny grinned at something for a few seconds before continuing.
"Either way, you still saved my life, so I still owe you a favor, so whatever it is, I'll keep quiet about it." Ginny brushed her hair back with one hand.
"Besides, I made those sandwiches for you."
Hary considered, she made a good point, those sandwiches were really good. She did deserve to know.
"After I had defeated Malfoy he told me the countercurse that would heal you and begged me to kill him." Harry hesitated a moment, remembering.
"I wanted to make sure it worked before granting his wish, but when you started to wake I didn't want you to see what I was about to do, so I stunned you." Ginny shook her head, "You killed a helpless man because he asked you to?"
Harry nodded.
"That's so, wrong." Ginny said, her brow tense.
"Is it really?" Harry asked, "As I see it if someone asks they should be allowed not to live if they don't want to."
"Are you seriously advocating suicide?" Ginny asked, suprised
Harry considered, "In some cases, yes, I suppose I am."
"No, I can't agree, not one iota!" Ginny exclaimed. "You can't just decide to die as simple as that, life is too dynamic and special to end so arbitrarily."
Harry stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned toward the Burrow. Ginny fell in step next to him.
"But of course, being a boy, even if I did the impossible and convinced you of something you didn't believe in the first place you'd never admit it. Far too stubborn the lot of you."
"Are girls any different?" Harry asked through gritted teeth. Ginny took a moment, then burst out laughing.
"Oh Harry, sometimes you have a way with words." Ginny said as her fit wore down. Harry didn't know what to say. She was confusing as hell when she wanted to be. But even if she was confusing, at least she was still nice about it. Harry suddently regretted that she wasn't going to be around him at school. Harry cursed social codes not for the first time in his life. Playground stereotype or not Harry had always been the social outcast. Whether it was while being beaten up by his cousin or being gossiped about in the wizarding world it was always the same. Just that in one no one knew who he was and in the other everyone thought they knew who he was.
"Hey, Harry, are you coming?" Ginny was at the door already.
"Of course." Harry said, crossing the threshold ahead of Ginny.
The next several days passed quickly but peacefully for Harry and the other Weasleys. Harry's burns healed quickly, peeling painfully on the second day, but being more or less healed after another. Harry's days were often split between chatting with Ginny under the shady trees and playing Quiddich or Chess with Ron. Once Harry and Ron took the Knight Bus into London to meet Hermione and buy school supplies. They offered to take Ginny along, but she opted to stay behind and write a letter to Dean.
"Bloody git." Ron had said. Harry never really understood Ron's hatred of all Ginny's boyfriends, but for once he shared his sentiment, Dean was the reason Ginny couldn't be his friend, which seemed monstrously unfair to Harry. Still, Harry had a good time, he also found enough excuses to venture out on his own that he was sure Hermione and Ron enjoyed themselves as well, even if every time he met back up with them they were arguing.
The day soon arrived when they were set to go back to Hogwarts. That morning Harry, Ron and Ginny woke up early to avoid having a hectic rush at the last minute. Even so their morning was hardly peaceful. Harry kept locking his trunk only to turn around and see something he forgot to put in. Ron was swearing as he overturned his bedclothes looking for something. After they were finally ready they had to wait ten more minutes before Ginny finally came down the stairs, appologising profusely. They were just in time for the train, Ron stepping on just as it began moving. They scouted the train for some time before they came to the car where Neville, Luna and Hermione were sitting.
"There you are, why are you always late?"
"Nice to see you again too Hermione."
Harry and Ron took their seats on either side of Hermione, Ginny sat between Neville and Luna. It occurred to Harry that this was the same group that had faced the trials at the Department of Mysteries at the end of the previous year. They looked around at one another, each with their minds on the events of that night. There are some things that you can't share without ending up friends, knocking out a twelve foot mountain troll is one of them, but falling into a trap set by cold blooded murderers and escaping with their lives is another.
"Luna, how was Sweeden?" Harry found himself asking. Soon the car was buzzing with conversation, some about crumple horned snorknaks, but most about a mostly peaceful summer spent abroad or at home. The six of them were enjoying a nice quiet train ride with friends. Then things started getting complicated. The door opened and Dean Thomas stepped in.
"Ginny, where have you been, I was looking forward to meeting you..." Harry, who's eyes had been on Ginny when the door opened saw the look of horror that crossed her eyes momentarily when the door opened. Harry's mind might not be the sharpest of his age, but every once in a while he could really come to an impressive conclusion. He redirected his face towards the window, glad that he had changed into his wizard robes so soon, he was fairly certain any distinguishing characteristics were covered up by the wide brimmed wizard hat and the fact that he was facing the other direction. Dean would probably be hard to convince otherwise if he drew the wrong conclusion from seeing them in the same compartment together after Harry had saved her life. As such, to Harry, the ensuing conversation was only perceived through auditory perception, his eyes only seeing the landscape speeding by outside.
"Dean, what are you doing here?" Ginny's voice asked
"Well, I thought you might want to see me again, I mean, I've wanted to see you and your letters..." Dean stumbled about to explain.
"Maybe she just wasn't as excited as you thought." Ron said, Harry began to sweat. Anybody who was paying attention at Hogwarts knew that Ron and Hermione were Harry's best friends, so if Dean had his wits about him he probably already knew who the one unidentified wizard in that compartment was. The very thing Ginny had feared about going back to Hogwarts was a hairsbreadth away from occuring and there was nothing Harry could think to do about it.
"Shut up Ron, I was just talking with some friends I haven't seen in a while, I was going to come find you in just a few minutes." Ginny said, talking a little faster than normal.
"Alright, er... do you want me to just wait outside then?" Dean asked, a touch of nervousness and embarrassment in his voice.
"No, that's alright, I'll just come with now." Ginny answered, "I wish you'd stop being such a git around my boyfriend." It was obvious she was talking to Ron. There was the sound of the door opening and closing. Harry waited a few seconds after it closed to finally, cautiously, peek out to see if the coast was clear.
"Honestly Ron, you shouldn't be so overprotective. Ginny can probably take care of herself." Hermione was saying
"It's not about whether she can take care of herself or not, it's about her being with the right guy." Ron said, rolling his eyes as if it were obvious.
"Dean isn't right then I suppose?" Hermione asked, "Who would live up to your standards?" Ron didn't look at Harry, but it seemed like he wanted to.
"Someone better than Dean." Ron said after a moment sitting unusually still.
"Why did you hide your face when he came in Harry?" Neville asked. Harry hesitated, he didn't know what people's reactions to this would be, particularly Ron, who seemed intent on seeing his best friend and younger sibling together. Even so he explained what he and Ginny had discussed over the summer.
"Load of rubbish if you ask me, Ginny should dump that guy if he's making her choose between him or her friends." Ron declared.
Harry was about to disagree until he thought of how annoyed he would be if a girl wanted him to give up Ron and Hermione as friends. Hermione looked like she was planning on debating further when the door opened again, this time admitting Malfoy, on his own, wand drawn. Harry was too slow standing and was pushed back into his seat by an invisible hand. Neville and Ron began to get to their feet, drawing their wands, but Harry held up his hand.
"Don't worry, this is between him and me."
"Why the hell did you do it? Why did you have to kill him?" Malfoy took an advancing step into the compartment. Luna and Neville looked to Harry, they probably had not heard of what had been going on over the summer.
Harry didn't want to admit it around his friends, he didn't really want to admit it to Malfoy either, he didn't even want to admit to himself, but the invisible hand was still firm against his chest and he wasn't about to let his friends defend his trespasses against the Malfoy clan.
"That depends on who you're talking about, once was an accident, the other was..." Harry closed his eyes for a moment, hesitating, "The other was a mistake."
"Which was it then, Potter, was killing my father an accident or a mistake?" Draco's voice began to rise. The pressure on Harry's chest grew stronger.
"A mistake..." Harry grunted in pain, he heard his ribs creaking from the force, "...I didn't realize the consequences of my actions, but he wanted me to... oof... warn you not to follow Voldemort."
"He said that to you?" Malfoy snorted with derision, "I Don't believe you for a second." Harry felt a spark of anger surge forth from nowhere, "Fine, don't believe your dad's last words, see if I give a shit... I don't care about you so there's no reason I'd want you to keep from destroying yourself. He said that Voldemort's path isn't the right one, take it or leave it, I don't care." Draco's eyes glinted for a moment, then the invisible pressure lifted and Malfoy disappeared out of the compartment. There was an awkward silence between them for a short time. Harry's companions wanted to ask what Malfoy had been talking about, but didn't know if it was okay to ask. It was Luna that stepped forth and asked the question they were all thinking.
"Who was the other person, the accident?" She asked in a light, almost uncaring tone.
"Rodolphus Lestrange." Harry said in a cold, regretful voice. Neville drew in a strangled gasp.
"I'm sorry Neville." Harry said, Neville looked puzzled.
"Why are you appologising? I've got no love for him or his wife." Harry was silent, keeping to himself that he thought, himself in that situation would want to kill them with his own hand. He wondered if he was changing inside, becoming more violent. Becoming a killer. No, it was too late for that, he had already become a killer.
"When did that happen?" Ron asked, genuinely suprised
"The day George died." Harry answered dryly, "I didn't mean to kill him, it was..." Harry trailed off.
"An accident?" Hermione supplied. Harry nodded.
"Look, can we change the subject, it's not exactly something I'm comfortable with."
Conversation was a little awkward amongst the group for the remainder of the train ride but by the time they were pulling to a stop they were once again in good spirits, but Harry still felt uncomfortable in his own skin. A short carriage ride later they were finally at the castle, seated in the great hall and ready for another great welcoming feast. Ron's eyes wandered to the staff table, looking to find who the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher would be. When his eyes fell on the only new face amongst all the familiar teachers he had to assume the worst.
"Harry, look who the new teacher is." Ron pointed directly to the grim faced young man. Vicktor Krum was their new professor.
"Can you believe it?" Ron asked, looking around the table. Hermione looked distinctly unsurprised. This didn't escape Ron's notice.
"Hermione, aren't you surprised to see Vicky again after so long?" Hermione went pink.
"You don't seem to be, I wonder how it is you were expecting him to be here." Ron was being a little vindictive.
"He might have mentioned in one of his letters that he had taken the job." Hermione mumbled
"Funny, I don't recall you telling me, did she tell you Harry?" Harry didn't want to get involved, but shook his head.
"Hmm, that's odd. I'm sure you're happy to be taught by Vicky."
"Stow it, Ron."
"Alright, I'll be quiet, but just to let you know, there's a stigma attached to having a relationship with a teacher." Hermione stood.
"Ron. You're so..." her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, "...mean." she hurried away, wiping at her eyes. Ron stood and started following her.
"Where are you going? The feast's about to start." Ron's voice dropped the cruel note that had been in it earlier.
"I need to use the bathroom, leave me alone." Hermione disappeared out the doors to the great hall. Ron sat down dejectedly.
Shortly the year's first years were paraded before them and sorted into their houses. Harry and Ron applauding along with the rest of the Gryffindors when a first year was chosen for their house. One of them tried sitting next to Ron, in Hermione's vacated seat. Ron glared at the poor boy, growling, "That seat is for someone else." At which point the first year sprang up and stepped away, a scared look on his face. Neville took pity on the young lad, inviting him to sit in the vacant seat next to him. When the last person with a ridiculous name starting with an "X" was sorted into Ravenclaw, Dumbledore stood to deliver his pre-feast speech.
"Greetings and welcome back. As always I'll keep my speeches to a minimum. I'm sure the treacle tart is much more interesting than the words of one old man's ramblings. I just want to remind all of our returning students and inform those who are new to Hogwarts that the Forbidden Forest is just that, forbidden to all students. Wandering the castle after hours is against the rules and having a bad disposition during a holiday is strictly prohibited." Dumbledore grinned, "With that, I announce the start of the feast." This final statement was met with cheering as food appeared before the hungry students.
A.N.: This chapter was darn tootin' hard to write, I couldn't get anybody's reactions right and I'm still woefully dissappointed in Draco's role and Dumbledore is my number one hardest to write character. I had to cut this chapter short because of the character limitation of Notepad... and I've lamented the flaws of using wordpad much already. I think the next couple chapters are gonna take a long time, even for me. My problem is that I know what will happen at the end, but I have no idea what's going to go on between now and then.
Another problem I'm having trouble with is the fact that I don't feel like I'm getting a lot of readers. I say this because I don't get many reviews. This is unfortunately due to my R rating and the fact that there is character death. I say unfortunately because this story quite obviously cannot be anything but R rated. I'm beginning to feel a little frustrated by this... I don't know why I'd be writing if I didn't want readers to read it and I almost feel like I'm not getting exposure on the largest fanfiction website I know about. This is leading me on a slippery slope to a place I swore I would never go when I started writing fanfiction on this site. That's right, I'm about to beg for reviews... please don't make me have to do that... please.
The sun beat down on what had been a battlefield barely an hour before. The damp chill that Harry had known all that morning was a memory under the cloudless sky. After applying a sweet-smelling, magical salve to his burns and bandaging them up the Aurors began questioning him as to what happened after the Weasley family had evacuated. He had explained to three different Aurors by the time the Weasleys had finally come back. Ginny had been revived from the stunner, but she was still very confused. She was asking whether Harry had betrayed them... which wasn't helping Harry that he had to answer that hard question, why she was saying such a thing. He avoided being caught in lies by telling as close to the truth as he could, without admitting the final spell he had used. He had said that Ginny might be saying such things because it was him who stunned her in order to stop the Death Eaters from using the Imperious Curse on her, he said the spell he used that killed Lucious Malfoy was a series of multiple stunners. He remembered that simultaneous stunners had put Professor McGonagall into the hospital at the end of the previous year, so he suspected repeated stunners would be dangerous as well. By the time the Aurors were finished with him he was bone weary and ravenous for lunch, because any meal could no longer be called breakfast, even though he hadn't eaten since the night before.
A fraction of the purple inferno that had hit Harry had put Hermione up for more than a week, Harry was more badly wounded than he had thought. It looked like it was St. Mungo's for Harry for the second time in as many days. The burn didn't feel like it was getting any worse though and he really didn't want to go back. St. Mungo's never held good memories for Harry. He supposed hospitals never did. He asked if it would be alright to spend the time he needed to recover at the Weasley's. The aurors put their heads together and a moment later it was agreed, Harry could spend the rest of the summer at the Weasley's, provided he was taking care of his wounds. Leaving a supply of salve and bandages they made off with the body of Lucious Malfoy.
The wide variety of expressions on the Weasleys gave him pause. Ron was looking at the ground, a blank look on his face, he kicked a pebble absently. Molly's back was to Harry; she was hugging Ginny without restraint. Ginny was looking at Harry with an odd mix of suspicion and deep gratitude. Fred was looking at the body of Lucious with a bitter look in his eyes. Arthur was anxiously looking at Ginny, obviously overjoyed that his only daughter survived all but certain death. He didn't need to deal with all that just yet, so he quickly mumbled something about the sun being too hot and left before anybody could miss him. He fled their frenzied appreciation, their accusation and their subtle animosity. He found a shadowy spot under a tree far away from the house and plopped to the ground.
He lay there for several hours, staring up at the leafy branches protecting him from the bright sun hanging in the clear blue sky. It was a beautiful day. He thought of things while he lay there. He thought of Voldemort, of Belatrix, of the Weasleys. He was responsible to kill Voldemort, but the duel this morning woke him up to several problems. The first was that he knew nothing of the advanced Dark arts that were the weapons of the Death Eaters. The second was that he had no idea how to even hurt the Dark lord, much less kill him. When his spell hit Voldemort it had no effect. Harry curled up slightly, thinking harder by relaxing his mind. Relaxing his mind sent him into a light doze which deepened into a true nap. His unconcious mind continued to work on the subject as he slept. It was as such that Ginny came upon him much later, a stack of sandwiches on a plate and a thermos full of fruit flavored punch in her arms. She smiled down at the sleeping boy, in his sleep all his problems and worries slid off his face, giving him an innocent look like that of a little boy. She nudged him in the small of his back with the tip of her toe. Harry shot awake scrambling wildly to look at his assailant, a look of suprised fear on his face. When he saw Ginny he froze, looking very silly. Ginny began to laugh lightly at his vulnerability. Harry looked away,
"What's so funny?" That just set her off again. When she finally calmed down she put forth the plate of sandwiches.
"Here, I got you some lunch." Harry looked suprised again, but hurried to thank her.
"Thanks a lot, I was just getting hungry." He took the top sandwich. Ginny made no indication of eating herself.
"You're not going to eat?" Harry asked.
"I made them for you, I don't need any." Ginny responded.
"It's not as fun to eat alone, come on, sit down." Harry insisted. Ginny acquiesced, picking up a one of her own sandwiches, Harry took a bite.
"Wow, these are really good." Harry complimented.
"They're just sandwiches, they're nothing special." Ginny said, evading the compliment.
Ginny took a small bite and had to admit they were unusually good sandwiches.
"Look, Harry, I came out here to thank you for saving me this morning." A dark look crossed Harry's face, knowing where Ginny was going with this.
"It was nothing, don't worry about it." Harry said. Ginny looked down at her sandwich, taking another bite.
"I came here for more than just courtesy sandwiches and a thank you."
Harry finished his sandwich, preparing himself for what was next, an interrogation on why he had come after her, and why he had stunned her while she was rousing.
"I need to tell you that I'm not in love with you."
This suprised Harry, somehow he had never made the connection between the Ginny who had fought Death Eaters and the scared little girl on the floor of the Chamber of Secrets who couldn't keep her wits about her when he was in the same room.
"I got over you a while ago, but I still appreciate what you did to save me, so if I act different in public, distant, know that it's only because I want to stop talk before it starts."
"Talk?" Harry questioned
"When I had my prepubecent crush on you I didn't exactly make any secret about it, and some people have long memories. The type of rumors that would circulate if I'm too friendly with you after the news breaks that you saved my life..." Ginny paused before continuing, "...again, would destroy a new relationship like the one I have with Dean."
Harry was quite taken aback by this,
"You've put quite a bit of thought into this haven't you?"
"I thought it was fairly obvious."
Harry shrugged, "I won't be offended if you ignore me at school. I understand that public opinions can make or break a relationship." Harry said, thinking of the many times in his short stint of "dating" Cho when it seemed like her feelings were dictated by the attitudes of others. "I just don't understand why."
Harry, figured he had gotten off without having to tell her why he had stunned her and grabbed another sandwich. Ginny took another sandwich herself and casually asked, "So, why did you go out on your own after me?"
Harry nearly choked on his sandwich. He had to cut her off before she got going or she'd eventually get to the big one.
"I didn't want another death to happen because of me."
"But why did you leave the house?" Harry asked
"When you didn't come in after me I went back out to look for you, then a Death Eater appeared and cursed me." Ginny said, a funny look in her eyes. Harry nodded, finishing his second sandwich and starting in on his third. They really were quite good.
"Nice weather we've got today." Harry said, trying to change the subject, but it really was. The thick fog had fully dissipated and the few clouds that might have obscured the sun were small and fluffy, perfect conditions for laying back under the shade of a tree on a hill and looking at clouds passing overhead.
"Yeah, I guess it is."
After finishing his third sandwich Harry leaned back and pointed at a cloud.
"What do you think that cloud looks like?"
Ginny looked up and saw an unusually squarish cloud. "I don't know, maybe a book."
"I think it looks like a sandwich."
"What is it with you and sandwiches today?"
"I don't know, I think I'm just hungry." Harry picked up the last sandwich from the plate.
"Hey, what do you think that one looks like?"
They sat and talked for a bit more, Harry frequently bemoaning the fact that there were no more sandwiches and Ginny laughing at him. After a while they decided it was getting towards dinnertime and it was time to head in. As they were brushing the grass off their clothes Ginny turned to Harry and asked,
"Oh, by the way, why did you stun me?"
Harry had thought of no false excuse, but could not possibly tell her the truth of his actions.
"You don't want to know." was all he could say.
Ginny stood with a blank look on her face for several moments. She shook her head.
"No, I'm pretty sure I do want to know" She said, Harry gritted his teeth,
"But I don't want to tell you is the problem." he responded
"Why not, is it bad? It'd have to be if you don't want to tell me." Ginny grinned at something for a few seconds before continuing.
"Either way, you still saved my life, so I still owe you a favor, so whatever it is, I'll keep quiet about it." Ginny brushed her hair back with one hand.
"Besides, I made those sandwiches for you."
Hary considered, she made a good point, those sandwiches were really good. She did deserve to know.
"After I had defeated Malfoy he told me the countercurse that would heal you and begged me to kill him." Harry hesitated a moment, remembering.
"I wanted to make sure it worked before granting his wish, but when you started to wake I didn't want you to see what I was about to do, so I stunned you." Ginny shook her head, "You killed a helpless man because he asked you to?"
Harry nodded.
"That's so, wrong." Ginny said, her brow tense.
"Is it really?" Harry asked, "As I see it if someone asks they should be allowed not to live if they don't want to."
"Are you seriously advocating suicide?" Ginny asked, suprised
Harry considered, "In some cases, yes, I suppose I am."
"No, I can't agree, not one iota!" Ginny exclaimed. "You can't just decide to die as simple as that, life is too dynamic and special to end so arbitrarily."
Harry stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned toward the Burrow. Ginny fell in step next to him.
"But of course, being a boy, even if I did the impossible and convinced you of something you didn't believe in the first place you'd never admit it. Far too stubborn the lot of you."
"Are girls any different?" Harry asked through gritted teeth. Ginny took a moment, then burst out laughing.
"Oh Harry, sometimes you have a way with words." Ginny said as her fit wore down. Harry didn't know what to say. She was confusing as hell when she wanted to be. But even if she was confusing, at least she was still nice about it. Harry suddently regretted that she wasn't going to be around him at school. Harry cursed social codes not for the first time in his life. Playground stereotype or not Harry had always been the social outcast. Whether it was while being beaten up by his cousin or being gossiped about in the wizarding world it was always the same. Just that in one no one knew who he was and in the other everyone thought they knew who he was.
"Hey, Harry, are you coming?" Ginny was at the door already.
"Of course." Harry said, crossing the threshold ahead of Ginny.
The next several days passed quickly but peacefully for Harry and the other Weasleys. Harry's burns healed quickly, peeling painfully on the second day, but being more or less healed after another. Harry's days were often split between chatting with Ginny under the shady trees and playing Quiddich or Chess with Ron. Once Harry and Ron took the Knight Bus into London to meet Hermione and buy school supplies. They offered to take Ginny along, but she opted to stay behind and write a letter to Dean.
"Bloody git." Ron had said. Harry never really understood Ron's hatred of all Ginny's boyfriends, but for once he shared his sentiment, Dean was the reason Ginny couldn't be his friend, which seemed monstrously unfair to Harry. Still, Harry had a good time, he also found enough excuses to venture out on his own that he was sure Hermione and Ron enjoyed themselves as well, even if every time he met back up with them they were arguing.
The day soon arrived when they were set to go back to Hogwarts. That morning Harry, Ron and Ginny woke up early to avoid having a hectic rush at the last minute. Even so their morning was hardly peaceful. Harry kept locking his trunk only to turn around and see something he forgot to put in. Ron was swearing as he overturned his bedclothes looking for something. After they were finally ready they had to wait ten more minutes before Ginny finally came down the stairs, appologising profusely. They were just in time for the train, Ron stepping on just as it began moving. They scouted the train for some time before they came to the car where Neville, Luna and Hermione were sitting.
"There you are, why are you always late?"
"Nice to see you again too Hermione."
Harry and Ron took their seats on either side of Hermione, Ginny sat between Neville and Luna. It occurred to Harry that this was the same group that had faced the trials at the Department of Mysteries at the end of the previous year. They looked around at one another, each with their minds on the events of that night. There are some things that you can't share without ending up friends, knocking out a twelve foot mountain troll is one of them, but falling into a trap set by cold blooded murderers and escaping with their lives is another.
"Luna, how was Sweeden?" Harry found himself asking. Soon the car was buzzing with conversation, some about crumple horned snorknaks, but most about a mostly peaceful summer spent abroad or at home. The six of them were enjoying a nice quiet train ride with friends. Then things started getting complicated. The door opened and Dean Thomas stepped in.
"Ginny, where have you been, I was looking forward to meeting you..." Harry, who's eyes had been on Ginny when the door opened saw the look of horror that crossed her eyes momentarily when the door opened. Harry's mind might not be the sharpest of his age, but every once in a while he could really come to an impressive conclusion. He redirected his face towards the window, glad that he had changed into his wizard robes so soon, he was fairly certain any distinguishing characteristics were covered up by the wide brimmed wizard hat and the fact that he was facing the other direction. Dean would probably be hard to convince otherwise if he drew the wrong conclusion from seeing them in the same compartment together after Harry had saved her life. As such, to Harry, the ensuing conversation was only perceived through auditory perception, his eyes only seeing the landscape speeding by outside.
"Dean, what are you doing here?" Ginny's voice asked
"Well, I thought you might want to see me again, I mean, I've wanted to see you and your letters..." Dean stumbled about to explain.
"Maybe she just wasn't as excited as you thought." Ron said, Harry began to sweat. Anybody who was paying attention at Hogwarts knew that Ron and Hermione were Harry's best friends, so if Dean had his wits about him he probably already knew who the one unidentified wizard in that compartment was. The very thing Ginny had feared about going back to Hogwarts was a hairsbreadth away from occuring and there was nothing Harry could think to do about it.
"Shut up Ron, I was just talking with some friends I haven't seen in a while, I was going to come find you in just a few minutes." Ginny said, talking a little faster than normal.
"Alright, er... do you want me to just wait outside then?" Dean asked, a touch of nervousness and embarrassment in his voice.
"No, that's alright, I'll just come with now." Ginny answered, "I wish you'd stop being such a git around my boyfriend." It was obvious she was talking to Ron. There was the sound of the door opening and closing. Harry waited a few seconds after it closed to finally, cautiously, peek out to see if the coast was clear.
"Honestly Ron, you shouldn't be so overprotective. Ginny can probably take care of herself." Hermione was saying
"It's not about whether she can take care of herself or not, it's about her being with the right guy." Ron said, rolling his eyes as if it were obvious.
"Dean isn't right then I suppose?" Hermione asked, "Who would live up to your standards?" Ron didn't look at Harry, but it seemed like he wanted to.
"Someone better than Dean." Ron said after a moment sitting unusually still.
"Why did you hide your face when he came in Harry?" Neville asked. Harry hesitated, he didn't know what people's reactions to this would be, particularly Ron, who seemed intent on seeing his best friend and younger sibling together. Even so he explained what he and Ginny had discussed over the summer.
"Load of rubbish if you ask me, Ginny should dump that guy if he's making her choose between him or her friends." Ron declared.
Harry was about to disagree until he thought of how annoyed he would be if a girl wanted him to give up Ron and Hermione as friends. Hermione looked like she was planning on debating further when the door opened again, this time admitting Malfoy, on his own, wand drawn. Harry was too slow standing and was pushed back into his seat by an invisible hand. Neville and Ron began to get to their feet, drawing their wands, but Harry held up his hand.
"Don't worry, this is between him and me."
"Why the hell did you do it? Why did you have to kill him?" Malfoy took an advancing step into the compartment. Luna and Neville looked to Harry, they probably had not heard of what had been going on over the summer.
Harry didn't want to admit it around his friends, he didn't really want to admit it to Malfoy either, he didn't even want to admit to himself, but the invisible hand was still firm against his chest and he wasn't about to let his friends defend his trespasses against the Malfoy clan.
"That depends on who you're talking about, once was an accident, the other was..." Harry closed his eyes for a moment, hesitating, "The other was a mistake."
"Which was it then, Potter, was killing my father an accident or a mistake?" Draco's voice began to rise. The pressure on Harry's chest grew stronger.
"A mistake..." Harry grunted in pain, he heard his ribs creaking from the force, "...I didn't realize the consequences of my actions, but he wanted me to... oof... warn you not to follow Voldemort."
"He said that to you?" Malfoy snorted with derision, "I Don't believe you for a second." Harry felt a spark of anger surge forth from nowhere, "Fine, don't believe your dad's last words, see if I give a shit... I don't care about you so there's no reason I'd want you to keep from destroying yourself. He said that Voldemort's path isn't the right one, take it or leave it, I don't care." Draco's eyes glinted for a moment, then the invisible pressure lifted and Malfoy disappeared out of the compartment. There was an awkward silence between them for a short time. Harry's companions wanted to ask what Malfoy had been talking about, but didn't know if it was okay to ask. It was Luna that stepped forth and asked the question they were all thinking.
"Who was the other person, the accident?" She asked in a light, almost uncaring tone.
"Rodolphus Lestrange." Harry said in a cold, regretful voice. Neville drew in a strangled gasp.
"I'm sorry Neville." Harry said, Neville looked puzzled.
"Why are you appologising? I've got no love for him or his wife." Harry was silent, keeping to himself that he thought, himself in that situation would want to kill them with his own hand. He wondered if he was changing inside, becoming more violent. Becoming a killer. No, it was too late for that, he had already become a killer.
"When did that happen?" Ron asked, genuinely suprised
"The day George died." Harry answered dryly, "I didn't mean to kill him, it was..." Harry trailed off.
"An accident?" Hermione supplied. Harry nodded.
"Look, can we change the subject, it's not exactly something I'm comfortable with."
Conversation was a little awkward amongst the group for the remainder of the train ride but by the time they were pulling to a stop they were once again in good spirits, but Harry still felt uncomfortable in his own skin. A short carriage ride later they were finally at the castle, seated in the great hall and ready for another great welcoming feast. Ron's eyes wandered to the staff table, looking to find who the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher would be. When his eyes fell on the only new face amongst all the familiar teachers he had to assume the worst.
"Harry, look who the new teacher is." Ron pointed directly to the grim faced young man. Vicktor Krum was their new professor.
"Can you believe it?" Ron asked, looking around the table. Hermione looked distinctly unsurprised. This didn't escape Ron's notice.
"Hermione, aren't you surprised to see Vicky again after so long?" Hermione went pink.
"You don't seem to be, I wonder how it is you were expecting him to be here." Ron was being a little vindictive.
"He might have mentioned in one of his letters that he had taken the job." Hermione mumbled
"Funny, I don't recall you telling me, did she tell you Harry?" Harry didn't want to get involved, but shook his head.
"Hmm, that's odd. I'm sure you're happy to be taught by Vicky."
"Stow it, Ron."
"Alright, I'll be quiet, but just to let you know, there's a stigma attached to having a relationship with a teacher." Hermione stood.
"Ron. You're so..." her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, "...mean." she hurried away, wiping at her eyes. Ron stood and started following her.
"Where are you going? The feast's about to start." Ron's voice dropped the cruel note that had been in it earlier.
"I need to use the bathroom, leave me alone." Hermione disappeared out the doors to the great hall. Ron sat down dejectedly.
Shortly the year's first years were paraded before them and sorted into their houses. Harry and Ron applauding along with the rest of the Gryffindors when a first year was chosen for their house. One of them tried sitting next to Ron, in Hermione's vacated seat. Ron glared at the poor boy, growling, "That seat is for someone else." At which point the first year sprang up and stepped away, a scared look on his face. Neville took pity on the young lad, inviting him to sit in the vacant seat next to him. When the last person with a ridiculous name starting with an "X" was sorted into Ravenclaw, Dumbledore stood to deliver his pre-feast speech.
"Greetings and welcome back. As always I'll keep my speeches to a minimum. I'm sure the treacle tart is much more interesting than the words of one old man's ramblings. I just want to remind all of our returning students and inform those who are new to Hogwarts that the Forbidden Forest is just that, forbidden to all students. Wandering the castle after hours is against the rules and having a bad disposition during a holiday is strictly prohibited." Dumbledore grinned, "With that, I announce the start of the feast." This final statement was met with cheering as food appeared before the hungry students.
A.N.: This chapter was darn tootin' hard to write, I couldn't get anybody's reactions right and I'm still woefully dissappointed in Draco's role and Dumbledore is my number one hardest to write character. I had to cut this chapter short because of the character limitation of Notepad... and I've lamented the flaws of using wordpad much already. I think the next couple chapters are gonna take a long time, even for me. My problem is that I know what will happen at the end, but I have no idea what's going to go on between now and then.
Another problem I'm having trouble with is the fact that I don't feel like I'm getting a lot of readers. I say this because I don't get many reviews. This is unfortunately due to my R rating and the fact that there is character death. I say unfortunately because this story quite obviously cannot be anything but R rated. I'm beginning to feel a little frustrated by this... I don't know why I'd be writing if I didn't want readers to read it and I almost feel like I'm not getting exposure on the largest fanfiction website I know about. This is leading me on a slippery slope to a place I swore I would never go when I started writing fanfiction on this site. That's right, I'm about to beg for reviews... please don't make me have to do that... please.