*Disclaimer: I don't own the series Gilmore Girls or the original characters. All I own is my imagination and the plot.
*A/N: Another week, another chapter. :-) This chapter was originally a little longer, but at the end I decided to delete it, cause it didn't seem to fit with the rest of the chapter. I hope that it turned out okay. :-)
*~*~*:-)*~*~*Bye, smile :-)
Rory stirred when she felt the pressure of feather light touches move across her face. It felt like the flutter of butterfly wings against her skin, moving swiftly and skillfully, not spending more than a few seconds on each area. It gave her a tickling sensation inside her stomach, which was the cause of the smile that was starting to form on her face. She was more awake now, although she was still got up in a dazed web of dreams. And when she felt a pair of lips gently press themselves against hers, she slipped back into the daze she was still slightly clinging too, not wanting to let go for another couple of minutes.
*Flashback*
When Rory woke up, she knew exactly where she was, because she hadn't stopped thinking about it. Even her sleep had been a little restless, filled with faint fantasies and vivid memories. And before she had even opened her eyes, she had felt his presence beside her. His body heat seemed to be radiating, giving her a comfortable and protected feeling. The fact that she was curled up in her blankets just added to that feeling of safety.
She looked over at him without moving the rest of her body. She knew that the sheets would just tighten around her if she did that and she didn't want to wake him, so she just lay completely still while she studied his sleeping form. He looked so different when he was sleeping. There were no frowns to decorate his face and make him seem at least five years older than he actually was. Although she thought that his frowns just added to his mature and complicated persona, making him look like he had seen so much more than she had and would ever see. It was intimidating sometimes. Especially last night.
Jess had known exactly how to move and where to put his hands, while she kept worrying about that and kept doubting herself. She had been so nervous and it had only subsided when Jess had reassured her that she could do absolutely nothing wrong and that there was no need to be nervous. And she knew that it was an easy thing for him to say, cause he was much more experienced than her. But his words had been sweet, just like his gentle touches and soft kisses, as he had set a pace that she would be comfortable with.
Eventually he had even persuaded her into carefully exploring, which she had found not only enjoyable, but also interesting. She had loved to discover which button she had to push to get a satisfactory reaction. She had gotten more daring and sure of herself with every move she made and the way Jess had looked at her when she did this, made her blush even now. His eyes had stood so amazed and when he had spotted her crimson cheeks, he had pulled her down beside him and had hugged her while he kept kissing her hair, letting her know in his own way that he did indeed care for her. Something Rory had sometimes doubted, because he didn't express his emotions that often, which she had come to respect, even though it was hard for her to just accept. But last night he had taken those insecurities away and she felt guilty for ever doubting him.
Rory turned her head to look at him again, not surprised to find his dark eyes staring at her. She was used to him looking at her when he thought that she wasn't looking. And when she did notice, it only added to the intensity in his eyes. This morning he took in the way she looked in the morning. The way her tousled hair was sprawled out across her pillow and the way her blue eyes were still glazed with sleepiness, making her look so young and innocent and so not right for him, although he had slowly started to detach himself from that thought more and more, because Rory wouldn't let him think something like that.
Jess quickly examined the worry lines in her forehead. ''Having regrets so soon?''
Rory shook her head, while she reached for his hand, hoping that this wasn't a serious comment. ''No, I was just thinking.''
Jess stifled a yawn, while he moved a little closer to Rory, not wanting to feel anything but her skin against his. ''It's too early to think.''
He peered at Rory through his lashes, as she took his hand and laced her fingers with his, taking the time to place each of her fingers in the correct crook. ''I just don't want you to have any regrets. I mean, I don't know how many girls you slept with before me, but I'm positive that......well, you know? And I didn't want to disappoint you.''
Jess felt her tighten her grip on his hand and couldn't help but crack a smile at how nervous and insecure she had been and still was. ''Rory, you didn't disappoint me.''
''But I was so nervous,'' Rory admitted, before biting her lip and glancing over at Jess.
''Which is normal.''
''But still.....''
Jess brought his head closer to her and gently kissed her shoulder. ''I know, but it wasn't as bad as you thought it was.''
Finally a smile broke through Rory's sleepy features. ''Guess I'll have to take your word on that, huh?'' Her smile brightened when she saw how intensely his eyes were fixed on hers.
Jess brought his lips up to hers and kissed her, lingering slightly longer than he had intended to. ''Guess you will, now go back to sleep.''
''Why?'' Rory curiously asked, knowing that it was already past 9.
''Cause I wanna wake up next to you again,'' Jess honestly answered, his eyes flickering with the emotion that he was allowing to slip through.
Rory smiled, but didn't allow Jess to see it, when she hid her face in the crook of his neck, taking in the smell of his cologne, which still lingered. But Jess could feel her smile against the skin of his neck and it didn't take long for him to copy it.
*End of Flashback*
Rory's eyes fluttered open, maintaining the smile the memory had given her, not wanting Joey to know that it hadn't been his butterfly kisses that had made her smile. She had started to get these pieces of scattered memories more frequently lately, but that wasn't something she would trust Joey with. It would just add to his suspicion. A suspicion which had seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, based on nothing, although Rory knew that she was lying to herself now too. The evidence was indeed there, if you looked close enough. Something she feared Joey would do. She wouldn't deny that there was still some reserved attraction between her and Jess and no matter how much she tried to see him as only a friend and believed that she loved Joey, her head would turn in his direction whenever he was around and her mind would automatically start to wander, thinking of what could have been.
Rory met Joey's dark eyes, almost as dark as.... Inwardly Rory let out a frustrated sigh. She knew that this was wrong and that she shouldn't compare the two of them, although she had so many times before. Joey was different than Jess. He was more open and less complicated. An easy book to read, while Jess was a book which was too difficult to ever understand or get through. But still Rory smiled, not wanting to hurt Joey, because no matter how much she thought about Jess, she did love Joey.
''Hey.''
''I didn't mean to wake you,'' Joey said, before placing one last kiss on the tip of her nose and leaning back against his pillow. ''I just couldn't contain myself.''
Rory turned her head to look at him, as he leaned his back against the headboard of her bed. ''It's okay, I didn't mind waking up like that. Besides, it's probably time to get up.''
Joey glanced over at the small alarm clock, before looking at her again. ''It's 9. You can still go back to sleep if you want, plenty of time.''
Rory shook her head. ''No.''
''I thought you liked sleeping late?'' Joey asked.
''Not when I only have a couple of days in Stars Hollow,'' Rory answered, while she moved closer towards Joey and cuddled herself against him, resting her head on his chest.
Joey leaned forward just slightly and placed a kiss on top of her hair, knowing how much she had missed Stars Hollow. Unfortunately both his and her work stopped them from being frequent visitors. ''What do you wanna do today?''
''Breakfast at Luke's.''
''Besides that,'' Joey said, a smile evident in his voice.
Rory lifted her head a little and looked up at him. ''Are you saying that I'm predictable?''
When he didn't say anything Rory frowned, which eventually turned into one of her irresistible pouts. ''You do think I'm predictable, don't you?''
''You know what I just realized, that becoming a mime does have its advantages.''
Rory crossed her arms, which made him chuckle. ''Do you have any other plans on your agenda?''
''You should be able to guess if I'm that predictable.''
Joey reached out and wiped a stray strand of hair out of her face before running his fingers over her lower lip. ''Tell me anyway.''
Rory shrugged, before uncrossing her arms. ''I was thinking of checking out one of the bookstores after Luke's. I haven't visited them for a while, you know?''
Joey nodded. ''I know.''
Rory met his eyes, knowing that he didn't find spending an entire afternoon in a bookstore as appealing as her. He hardly ever went with her, which she didn't mind at all. She liked to have some time by herself, although Joey never made her feel crowded. He often took a step back without her having to ask for it.
''But we could do something else. It's not like we don't have any bookstores in Hartford.''
''No, it's okay. You haven't been here in a while.''
''But,'' Rory started.
''We can do something tonight.''
''Movie night?'' Rory asked, while a smile accentuated her features.
''It depends, is your mom going to be there?''
Rory shrugged. ''Don't know, she might have plans with Sookie. Why?''
Now it was Joey's time to pout. ''And here I thought she loved me.''
*~*~*
At precisely 10 o'clock Rory and Joey came into Luke's diner, looking terribly awake for this time of the day. Luke even raised his eyebrow when they walked passed him towards the counter, Rory following a little more slowly, because of the person that was leaning against the counter, reading another book cause nothing else would kill his time fast enough. Their last conversation hadn't exactly gone the way it should have and she was afraid of what his next action or comment might be. She hesitantly sat down next to Joey, immediately dropping her gaze to her hands.
''Hey, Jess,'' was Joey's greeting, which made Jess look up from his book. He directed his gaze at Joey, wondering if his kindness had a catch. His eyes stood just a little too friendly and he was trying too hard to strike up a conversation with him.
''Morning. Want anything?''
''Yeah, coffee would be great,'' Joey said.
''Coming right up,'' Jess said, a little too cheerfully while he placed his book on the counter and reached for the coffeepot. ''What about your wife? What will she have?''
Rory raised her head and looked at him, not quite knowing if he was being sarcastic or not, because his eyes were cast down and there had not even been a hint of sarcasm in his voice. None she could detect. ''Could I have a coffee to go......''
Jess instantly obliged without saying a word, although instead of handing the cup to her, like he had done with Joey, he placed it directly in front of her on the counter.
''Anything else?'' he asked, his eyes calmly resting upon hers, trying very hard to stop his gaze from becoming cold. He didn't want his behaviour to become cold and foreign towards her, but the fact that Joey was sitting next to her, with his hand on her knee, was subtly reminding him that she had indeed fallen in love with another man and married him.
Rory shook her head, as she lifted the coffee from the counter. She placed a quick kiss on Joey's cheek, before getting up from her stool. ''I'll see you tonight?''
Joey nodded. ''Do you wanna meet back here for dinner first or do you wanna order a pizza or something?''
''Are you kidding? I haven't tasted anything as refined as Luke's for a while now.''
Joey smiled at her answer, which made Rory wonder. ''What?''
''Nothing,'' Joey said while shrugging. ''You are just really predictable.''
Rory rolled her eyes. ''And you're really mature,'' she said, emphasising the last word.
''I know, that's what Joey stands for.''
Rory smiled as she started to head for the door. ''See you tonight, at Luke's.''
''Yeah, just know that I'm coming to get you if you lose track of time.''
Rory stuck out her tongue at him, but Joey didn't respond and just took another sip of his coffee, playfully proving his maturity to her. When the door closed behind her, Jess had already gone back to his book, but not before he had glanced in the direction of the window, curious about her destination. When he knew where she was heading, he lowered his eyes to his book again, taking only a few seconds. A few seconds which Joey hadn't noticed.
*~*~*
Rory glanced at her watch again while she blindly reached for another book. She knew that the time Joey and her had agreed on hadn't been specified, but she wasn't planning on losing track of time like she usually did. Joey didn't deserve that after agreeing to spend the entire day by himself so that she could wander around in a bookstore. Although she suspected that he hadn't left the diner at all today. He was probably taking advantage of the situation and taking his time to get to know Jess.
As she flipped through the pages of the book, she wondered if anyone knew Jess as well as she did. She hoped not, although he did deserve someone that would be able to get through to him completely. Someone who could solve all of the mysteries that were hidden deep within him. She sighed as she placed the book back on one of the shelves, thinking of how their book collection hadn't changed or expanded throughout the few years that had passed.
With one last look at her watch, she got up from the crouching position she had been in for the last couple of hours and turned around, ready to leave the store after finding nothing that was to her satisfaction. But halfway to the door, it opened and Jess entered. Instead of slowing down, she quickened her pace and slipped through the door before he could stop her, not wanting to get into another argument.
But of course Jess had anticipated her reaction and swiftly followed her, gently catching her by the arm before she could escape. Rory quickly turned around to face him, pulling her arm free in the process, remembering the words which had accompanied the same action last night.
''What?'' she asked, pretending to be frustrated because she was supposed to meet Joey at Luke's.
''I'm sorry,'' he responded, not hesitating and giving her the opportunity to just walk away from him. ''I didn't mean to act like that,'' he continued, while he tried to meet her eyes, which was an impossible task since she had lowered them only seconds ago.
''Then why did you?''
Jess didn't say anything and let a brief silence create even more distance between them as he put his hands in his pockets. He quickly glanced at the diner, before answering.
''Joey's waiting for you.''
Rory nodded, briefly meeting his eyes, before turning around and heading towards the diner, not making it clear to him if his apology had been accepted or not.
*~*~*
''So, my mom just called,'' Rory said, as she entered the living room, a neon coloured bowl filled with popcorn in her hands. ''She'll be over at Sookie's for a few more hours. She wanted to give us some hours of alone time, or how she called it, 'neck' time, like we're still a couple of teens,'' Rory finished, placing the bowl on the table in front of the TV, with a smile.
It took her a couple of more seconds to realize that Joey wasn't in the room. ''Joey!'' Rory sighed and dropped herself onto the couch. ''I'll start the movie without you if I have to!''
''Just a small tip in preparation of your next threatening attempt,'' Joey started, as he came out of Rory's room. ''You might want to make sure that you actually have something to threaten with.'' He held up the video, which caused Rory to frown and reach out her hands for the video. ''The box has such pretty colours.''
But instead of handing Rory the video, he placed it on top of the TV.
''A little tip for you now, Mr. Pharmacist. In order to actually see those nice moving images on the screen you have to put the tape in the recorder.''
''I thought we could discuss something first,'' Joey said, while crossing his arms.
''I'm not discussing modern medicine with you.''
''I'm serious, Rory.''
''And who ever said I wasn't?'' she asked.
''I saw you through the window,'' Joey continued, not even seemingly amused by her comments.
''That would explain the point of a window.......''
''You were on your way to Luke's and you just came out of the bookstore.'' Joey paused to look at Rory, waiting for a reaction, one which came in the form of a careless shrug. ''So?''
''You were with him.''
Rory rolled her eyes at his words. ''I wasn't with him. We just exited the bookstore at the same time.''
Joey shook his head. ''I believe he was on his way in, but apparently changed his mind when he saw you leave.''
''I have to talk to Luke about doing something about those windows. Maybe some nice curtains or something.....but not in pink.......''
''You two talked,'' Joey interrupted, hoping to lead Rory back towards the subject.
''The man who invented windows should be put in a glass room so people can watch him throughout the entire day.''
''What did you two talk about?''
Rory shrugged again, surprised by the jealous side Joey seemed to have. ''The weather, which you probably noticed while looking out the window.''
''It looked more serious than that.''
''Well, it wasn't,'' Rory responded, not believing how casual she seemed to be about this entire situation. We just made some nice casual chitchat about the weather.''
''You left the house last night,'' Joey said, pulling that comment straight out of the blue.
Rory let out a frustrated sigh, before getting up from the couch. ''I went for a walk, which doesn't seem so bad right about now.''
When Joey didn't say anything else, she headed for the door and left.
*~*~*
Confusion and frustration was the path her emotions laid out for her and the path she blindly followed, not knowing that they would lead her to a perfect hiding place. A hiding place which only one other person could find and sometimes even used as his own. But they hardly ever had had to share the small sanctuary. It was an agreement they seemed to have made silently. The bridge was a spot they shared, but the gazebo could be their own. A place that did connect them, but kept them at a distance at the same time.
And when Rory saw Jess sitting on the white bench, she thought of their agreement and considered turning around and heading for the bridge, but when Jess noticed her presence, she slowly headed up the steps. Their friendship seemed to be broken at several places, so why couldn't she break their agreement. So, she headed up the steps and sat down on the other side of the bench, placing her hands firmly on the neatly painted wood and lowering her eyes to the ground. She gave them a few minutes of silence by following one of the cracks in the wood with her gaze, using it as yet another comparison for their friendship.
''I thought you had plans with Joey,'' Jess carefully started, not knowing if her reaction would be warm or cold.
''I thought I did too,'' came her answer, which left him with a small riddle to solve. But luckily for him Rory wasn't in the mood to play games.
''Me and Joey had an argument.''
''You two had a fight?'' Jess asked, curious because even he had to admit that they seemed happy together.
Rory waited a few seconds before answering. ''It was about you.'' When Jess didn't respond, she continued. ''He saw you coming after me when I left the bookstore. I told him that it was nothing and that we just talked, but he didn't believe me.''
Jess nodded. ''He should have believed you. It was nothing.'' His eyes stood emotionless when he said this, although the jealousy and hurt was tightening around his jaws, making him seem even more careless in Rory's eyes, which looked up to glance at him.
''Guess there's really nothing between us anymore......?''
Jess didn't say anything, but just briefly turned his head to look at her, wondering what she wanted. After all, she did have a husband. A husband whom's suspicion would be taken up another notch by her being here, although he didn't know, but definitely would suspect and assume. Jess broke eye contact with Rory, too tempted by the heartbroken look in her eyes. And within seconds Rory had lifted herself up from the bench and was on her way down the steps. But by the time her feet were on solid ground again, guilt was boiling underneath the surface, heating up Jess' blood with a temptation which stood dangerously close, only a few steps away from him. And yet he didn't stop himself.
''Rory!''
He got up and traced her footsteps down the steps, moving just a little faster than he normally did. Her back was facing him and she forced him to touch her. She forced him to grab her arm and pull her around so he could look at her. She forced him to cross the line, but it was his own will when he pulled her closer, so they were chest to chest.
''You know that's not true,'' were his honest words, which he said in a voice that was already husky with something that he was yet to experience.
He tightened his grip on her arm, while he lowered his lips down onto hers, wanting to prevent her from running or resisting. But nothing inside of her was telling her to stop, no little voice was screaming at her that this was wrong and no guilt was eating at her. Instead she deepened the kiss, hungry for the taste she had gotten on her wedding day. Kisses that had been forbidden, but had been tempting her ever since. And it wasn't until Jess let out a muffled groan that she truly realized what she was doing. And the reality of it came as a shock, because her response was swift, as she pulled her head back and roughly pushed Jess away from her with her free hand.
''Rory,'' Jess said, awaking from the daze he had been in. A daze he would slip in every time Rory was too close. He let go of her arm, when he saw the guilt that was written on Rory's face. Realization had hit her fast and hard. She even brought her fingers to her mouth to wipe away evidence that no one could see. But as soon as she caught herself doing that, she instantly lowered her hand and shot him an apologetic look. He nodded at her, knowing that they wouldn't get through his tension that hung between them, not tonight and maybe never. Realizing this as Rory walked away from him, he reached into his pocket for a cigarette.
*R*E*V*I*E*W*! Please? :-) Thanks again for taking the time to read this and of course for the reviews I got for the last chapter. I also know that I still make mistakes in my grammar, so I was wondering if you could point that out to me in a review? See, I don't wanna get a beta-reader, cause I don't feel comfortable with people reading a chapter before I actually update it and I want to fix my mistakes myself, cause it'll help my English a lot, I think. Thanks! :-)