Castaways on a Sullen Sea
By weasleywheezes

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter introduces some new words or phrases. The first is Sabbat. I found this word during my research about witchcraft over the ages. It's used most frequently in "Haxan", an early Scandinavian silent film about witchcraft. The term is used for large coven meetings. The pictures that Christianson, the director, used when describing the sabbat instantly put me in the mind of Death Eater ceremonies. Secondly, mens clausum is Latin for "a closed mind". Third, aut vincere aut mori is Latin for "either conquer or die." Lastly, apannisi la miei mente e cuore is Italian.

Chapter 15 – A Closed Mind

Severus had been up since before dawn, studying books for his return to Hogwarts. He sat in the study, wearing his nightclothes, muttering to himself. He knew that a sabbat would be soon, but he didn't know when. He dreaded the painful burn that he knew would come at any moment. The last purple rays of sunrise hit his desk, illuminating his weary face, causing the few stray flecks of grey in his hair to shine. A bowl of lemon custard sat untouched. He rubbed his temples and absentmindedly cracked his knuckles.

Hermione crept into the room, trying not to disturb him. "Miss Granger, good morning to you," Severus said faintly.

"Severus…isn't it early for research?" she yawned.

"No better time. The mind is sharpest during these times, Hermione. Would you like some lemon custard?"

"No. I would like to ask you a question, however."

He put his long roll of parchment down and looked at her. She had an expression of solemnity on her face that fascinated him. Severus knew that Hermione had been dreading whatever it was she was about to say. He steeled himself for the worst.

"I am dying here. I need something to do," she began.

"I understand. I'll have Gromnett pack your bag and you can return to the Weasleys."

"No!" Hermione cried. "That's not what I want."

Severus stared at her. "So, what do you want?" He crossed his arms and smiled.

"I'd like to resume our studies in Occlumency."

Snape laughed. "Indeed?"

"Yes! I need to do something. My brain is suffocating."

"Very well. We will start this evening after I've finished with my studies and we've had dinner. Agreed?"

Hermione smiled and ran out of the room. Severus shook his head and returned to his books. "I will never understand that girl," he chuckled.

--

Gromnett had retreated to his quarters for the evening. His visit with Grisby has drained him of his seemingly boundless energy. It was up to the wizards themselves to cook. Severus made poor quality spaghetti and meatballs. He and Hermione ate in silence in the kitchen. After the meal, Hermione walked into the drawing room and looked at the statues of Snape ancestors that she had previously thought were Roman gods. She stooped to see the inscription on one of them.

"Audaces fortuna iuvat... fortune favors the bold," she said.

Hermione jumped when Severus put his hand on her shoulder. "Yes. That is my great-great grandfather. He was a very powerful man, apparently." He slowly walked to another figure. "This is my great-uncle Antonin Snape. You'll notice that he has nothing carved into his statue. It was because he was a blood traitor. He fell in love with a Muggle gentleman and left the Wizarding world for him. My grandfather murdered him. His lover, too. It's not easy to be involved with a Snape. There are... were... repercussions. Of course, I am the last of the line. It doesn't matter who I choose to spend my time with."

Hermione moved towards another statue, this one holding a coat of arms. "What's that on his shield?"

"It's the Snape family motto. Aut vincere aut mori."

"That's your family motto?" Hermione asked quietly.

Severus shook his head yes. "Needless to say, we don't do a lot of conquering."

"That's terrible."

"That's life, and you'll probably think this is terrible, also, but I have to say that I live my life by the code. Just in my own way."

Hermione took a deep breath. "What have you conquered?"

Severus turned away from her, pacing back and forth in the room, staring at the statues that he had fought so hard to keep in his possession. "I've conquered most of my fear, but not completely. I've conquered those who would have mistreated me in the past, because they are all dead, and I am alive. That's the sweetest sort of revenge."

"That's not revenge. That's survival," Hermione said forcefully.

"My very existence is revenge against those who have wronged me."

"How can you say that and believe it?"

He continued to pace, his step quickening. "Because it's true! I am a Snape. It is my duty to be the victor over all or die in the process. There is no in between!"

Hermione moved away from the statue of the Snape Arms bearer and moved toward a graceful one of a woman. She was beautiful. She had long hair, a swanlike neck, and a heart shaped face. "Who is this?" she asked.

"That is my grandmother. She had it made before she died. It was when she was a young woman. Apannisi la miei mente e cuore. Another life's lesson."

Hermione nodded. "And what lesson is that?"

Severus smiled grimly. He took her hand and stroked it lightly. "Cloud my mind and heart. I have to go prepare for our lessons. I'll be with you later on this evening, all right?"

--

At nightfall, Severus and Hermione stood together in the hallway as if they were duelling, both held their wands at the ready. Both had an unwavering look of resolve on their faces. Severus drew first. Hermione easily blocked him.

Snape smoothed his hair away from his eyes. "You've done well, Hermione. Now it is your turn."

She stood ready and calmly uttered, "Legilimens." Severus did not seem to try to stop her entry into his memories. She saw the elegant woman again, and Snape in period costume, but upon closer inspection, she saw that it wasn't Snape, but a man who looked like him. Both of them had bruises on their faces. A sudden flash of light and the memory changed to the woman sitting on a drunken man's lap, her clothing ripped, screaming at the young child that stood behind them in the doorway. The boy ran to a broom closet and hid in the dark. Another flash of light took Hermione to a Muggle street, black robes, porcelain masks, and a blue haired boy with blood on his face. Without warning, the memories stopped.

"What happened?"

Snape cleared his throat. "I've…you caught me off guard."

Hermione knew that Severus was lying, but why would he show her those memories purposely? "Shall we resume our studies?"

"Yes. In fact, I think you are ready for the next level."

Hermione's eyes grew wide. "Next level? There's more?"

"Of course there is. Did you honestly think it was this simple, Hermione? Why do you think Britain isn't crawling with Legilimens? I didn't teach Potter this part because of his smart mouth, but I believe you are ready."

"Well…what is that next step?"

Severus brushed the hair back from his face and put his wand in his pocket. "To be an accomplished Legilimens, you need to be able to do three things. You have to be able to break into people's thoughts. You have to be able to stop those same people from seeing your own thoughts. The third step, the step that will put you in a master's league, is that you need to be able to deceive the more skilled Legilimens into seeing memories that don't actually exist."

"Won't they know it's a lie?"

"Not if you know the right way to do it," Snape said. "How do you think I've lasted this long with the Death Eaters?"

"I never thought about it," she lied.

"Of course you have," he said. "You can't fool a person who lies for a living, Hermione. You shouldn't try. Besides, your cheeks turn pink when you do."

Hermione smiled.

"The most important thing is to learn the incantations. There are three major incantations that you must learn in order to properly succeed. The easiest one is Mens clausum. Quite easy, actually."

"Mens clumsam" Hermione repeated.

"Not quite. Now, when you've learned the incantation, I will teach you the correct circumstances for using it. I think we're done for the evening." Severus smiled and turned on his heel, walking toward his bedroom.

"Why must you leave?" She moved closer toward him, put her hand on his chest, over his heart, and stood on her tiptoes. "Please stay."

Severus looked deep into her eyes. He saw the hunger there, the yearning for something he had never seen in her eyes before. He put his hand in her hair; the thick tumult of curls cascading over his fingers. "What have I done to deserve this?"

Hermione whimpered a little, leaning closer into his body. She lifted her head a little, then softly, slowly, covered his mouth with hers. They kissed deeply for a moment. The feeling was much more electric than when they had kissed in the dungeon. He put his arms around her and held her close to him. His heartbeat was erratic, alternating fast to slow. He could barely stand the feeling of her fluttering eyelashes on his cheeks or the welcoming, enchanting scent of gardenias on her skin.

Severus tried to break the kiss, tried to pull away, but Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck. He had been celibate for almost thirteen years, and this sudden rush of hormones made him feel light-headed. Snape's hands ran the length of her body, relishing her soft curves. It had been so long, and she was so willing. With a trace of anxiety, his fingers found the buttons of her shirt and shakily began to loosen them. Her skin was so warm, so warm…

Hermione took hold of Severus' hand and placed it on top of her breast. He shuddered. She flicked her tongue against his and he shuddered again. He moaned softly. It was too good to be true, Snape thought, that this wonderful girl would want me. His body didn't seem to care. His arousal was evident, deepening his embarrassment.

Hermione seemed to struggle with words. "I….I…"

Abruptly, Severus broke away. He mashed his hands onto his eyes and fell to the floor. "No!" he bellowed. "No, not now!" He rolled around the floor in blinding pain. Hermione stood, struck with horror. She ran toward him.

"Stop! Hermione…please, leave me be," he breathed, holding the Dark Mark tightly.

"No…tell me what's happening!" she cried.

Severus squeezed a lone tear from his eye. He stood up, unsteady, and briskly ran to his room. When he returned, he was dressed in all black with a monstrous white porcelain death masque placed over his face.

She shook with fear. "V-Voldemort?"

"I…I have to go. He's calling me. I will return for you," he croaked, and then he was gone.