The two twins rode back beside the messenger clad discretely enough to blend in with their treacherous surroundings. Both were travel stained and tired. Patrols tended to be like that and they had been gone on a four- month one this time. A third elf accompanied the two of them, in much the same condition but somehow looking less scruffy with his bright golden hair and fair skin.
"Was he alright when you left?" Elladan asked anxiously. Being the eldest, he felt it his duty to worry about the serious matters of living. And for Elrond to be unwell was a very serious matter. "Were there injuries?"
The messenger shook his head patiently. "Nay, there were none. Lord Elrond was tired, but otherwise unharmed. He said to tell you both expressly not to worry, that all would be explained when you reach Imladris."
"Then why do we plod like old men?" Elrohir growled impatiently, "Let us go faster!"
"Calm yourself, Elrohir," Legolas cautioned, his eyes fixed warily around at the silent forest, "This place contains or has recently seen danger. Listen to the whispers of the trees and see how no small woodland animal ventures out to our approach."
Elrohir collapsed back into a slow walk, muttering dark curses about tree elves who were too clever for their own good. Legolas grinned a little but held his tongue too. He would have liked to have questioned the messenger himself on Elrond's mysterious troubles but did not want to talk if he could help it. That, and it really wasn't his business.
The messenger had come only for Elladan and Elrohir, not him. He had only been persuaded to go back with them because he was alone and the twins insisted their father would disown them on the spot for letting the Crown Prince of Mirkwood make the journey back to his own lands without aid. And Legolas could quite believe that trouble would be caused. Elrond loved his children with an ardour unusual for elves, but hospitality and Lordly protection were never trifles to him. The Lord of Rivendell would half-kill Legolas himself for the insult of even considering it.
Once out of the dangerous part of the wood, the four took to their horses' heels and raced back, thundering through the beauty of Imladris without a thought more than that its Lord was quite possibly dying.
Though far from dying, the Lord of Imladris was currently flat on his back in bed, where Arwen and Estel were holding him hostage, feeling most unwell and trying not to show it. He had already thrown up once; he certainly didn't intend to do so again. Glorfindel kept trudging in with large sad blue eyes and Erestor had bounded about for a whole hour with water and teas and blankets and pillows. It had taken all Estel's persuasiveness and Arwen's sweetness to persuade the both of them to leave, for which Elrond was so grateful he'd let the two younger ones stay.
All three were currently quiet.
"Ada, are you still awake?" Arwen's voice.
"Yes, Arwen, I am awake. And no, I am not feeling any worse than I was five minutes ago."
Estel compressed his lips and thought about the unhappy and rather far- fetched notion in his head concerning his foster father's ill-health. His dearly oblivious Arwen would likely go hysterical once Elrond told her. As for Elladan and Elrohir! Well, Estel could only hope Elrond wasn't feeling particularly emotional when the time came.
The sounds of pounding steps sounded loud in the peace of the Last Homely House and then the door to the outer chamber was flung open with enough force to almost rend it from its hinges.
Elrond sat up quickly, almost falling again as the quick movement did nothing to help his nausea. Elladan and Elrohir throwing themselves at his disoriented head made things worse. Utilizing all the strength that had got him his legendary status, he pushed his sons from him and reached hurriedly for the basin at the side of the bed.
Elladan grabbed his father before Elrond tumbled to the floor in his haste and Elrohir stood back with a grimace and a wrinkled nose. Glorfindel and Erestor charged in and instantly questioned Arwen at great length as to why their Lord was currently retching desperately for the second time that morning. Estel contented himself with holding Elrond's hair away from his face and stroking his back.
It was quite some time before order was restored, but once Glorfindel had managed it, Elrond insisted on getting out of bed. His knees felt weak, but he was a warrior! What was more, morning sickness had never dropped him before and no matter how bad it was this time, it would not do so now. Elrond Half-Elven meant to make sure of that. Going back to his washroom to freshen up and change into something more suitable to less private areas of his house, he left explicit instructions that everyone congregate in the library and await him there.
Elladan and Elrohir used the short walk to question everyone as to what was going on. All of them shrugged except Estel, who melted into the background and said not a word.
"Are you all here?" Elrond asked, when he finally stumbled his way into the library. He had had to stop on his way there. "Good. Now, I know you all worry for my health. You need not do so. I know what is wrong with me and I am treating it."
He sank into a chair with a grateful sigh and accepted the cup of tea Erestor pressed into his hand. At least it would help settle his stomach even if it did taste disgusting. He let his eyes linger longingly on the windows. Sunshine, he thought dully, maybe I should take a walk this afternoon when the sickness lifts a little.
"Ada?" Elrohir- impatient as usual. "Ada, is that all?"
"Should there be more?" Elrond asked gently, putting his cup down.
"Well, yes! What exactly is it that's wrong with you? Why were you so violently unwell when we saw you in your room just now? And Arwen said you fainted when walking slowly in the corridor two days ago. Is it a poison?"
Elrond managed a soft laugh at that. Poison? No, it wasn't poison exactly. But then someone had managed to drug him with a fertility potion. Even his own fruitful curse would not have yielded a fourth child without one. He shook his dark head in refute.
"Then what is it?" Elladan asked, losing his patience too for the moment. It had scared him badly to see his father so ill.
Glorfindel looked his own enquiry, knowing well enough that Elrond would speak only when he wanted but needing his friend to know he was concerned. Somehow he felt that the Peredhil was not particularly confident in his own skin right then.
Sunshine and a simple walk, Elrond thought longingly. He took another sip of the tea to steady his nerves and nodded decisively. "If you must know, I am with child."
Four pairs of eyes turned to look disbelievingly at the seemingly unconcerned Elf Lord. Estel had guessed it was something of the sort. Living amongst the Rangers for a time had given him a lot of insight into such things. One of the women he'd rescued from Orcs was heavily pregnant and she had told him all about the pregnancy on their long trip back to safety. Elrond was exhibiting the same signs.
Erestor, on the other hand, had been there for his Lord's other pregnancies. He hadn't dreamed there would be another child this late in Elrond's life, but it definitely explained the symptoms.
"Has no one anything to say?" Elrond looked up and asked, betraying his apprehension.
Elladan did have a question, but as his tongue was cleaving to the roof of his mouth at the time, he felt in no position to answer it. Elrohir, though, had no such problems- "Whose is it?"
Elrond shook his head. "I cannot tell you that. Anyway it is of no consequence and the person will never know."
"Ada, everyone will know... especially when you start- start showing! How is this even possible? You're a male! Or am I mistaken there too?"
"Elrohir," Glorfindel rebuked sharply, "Do not speak to your father that way; you have not the right." Sufficiently cowing the younger elf with his best tutor's glare, he turned to his old friend and tried not to judge. "But he does have a point, my Lord. How is such a thing possible?"
"I have a gift," Elrond answered bitterly, "Or a curse if you wish to call it that. I do not know how it came to be, but sometimes some male elves do have the ability to carry children."
"But are you sure?" Arwen broke in, looking, as Estel had expected, fairly close to strong hysterics.
"The signs are there. I have morning sickness certainly, as you have all seen. And I can feel the life stirring in my body. I did the test two weeks ago and it was confirmed; I am pregnant."
Elladan's mouth finally decided to unstick. "But you can't be! It's impossible! And even if it is possible for you to conceive, how will the baby be birthed?"
Erestor fielded that question after a look at Elrond's drawn face. No, this was not an easy discussion for the Elf Lord. Particularly since Elrond had never viewed the ability as anything but a curse. His shame had deepened when Celebrian had been proven unable to carry a child to term. "Well, the child itself is protected inside a womb that grows with the conception. When the time comes for its delivery, we will have to cut it out."
The twins looked at each other, looked at the pleas in their parent's eyes and decided it was all too much to take it. "We- we need to think a bit, Ada," Elladan murmured, "Excuse us. I'm happy, but... I mean, it's just so... we'll be back before sunset."
Elrond bit his lip in uncharacteristic dismay as his sons rushed from the room, almost falling out the door in their haste. Erestor quietly ushered the rest of them out, though when Estel demurely asked to stay, the steward allowed it. The three sat in the silence of the large room and said nothing until Elrond broke out of his trance.
"How could this happen, my Lord?" Erestor asked softly.
The Lord of Imladris looked warily to Estel, expecting to be rejected by him as well. After all, his own children had done so. But the man walked to his side and dropped a comforting hand on his shoulder. There were no words, but the touch was enough to ease the doubts for the moment.
"I had one night," Elrond said painfully, "This is the consequence."
"But it has been at least two thousand years since Arwen and you have had lovers at varying times throughout that period. You did not conceive then. Why now? Are you not a little old to be conceiving?"
"I am," Elrond ground out, leaning forward so that his dark hair hid his humiliated blush, "Elves of my age do not usually conceive at this time of their life, male or otherwise. I think someone sabotaged my body. I- I had drunk a cup of wine left in my room, thinking it was placed there by my night's partner. I thought it tasted odd and when the signs starting to show almost immediately in the weeks following, I noticed a bottle of fertility potion was missing from the stock room. There was no reason an elf could not have simply asked me for the mixture, so I can only assume it was stolen, and intended for myself."
"How far along are you?" Estel asked, still gently massaging Elrond's shoulder.
"Two months," the elf answered absently, "Oh, Elbereth, what will I do? I cannot have this child! My own family will hate me for it and how will I explain it to everyone? At least Celebrian was there for the others, so we simply confined ourselves in Lothlorien until the delivery."
"Others?"
"My children truly are my children, Estel. I bore Elladan and Elrohir, as I did Arwen. Celebrian was not able to carry children without suffering a miscarriage and she bitterly resented me for that. What was worse, I believe that to be the reason she was willing to leave her family for the Undying Lands. I will not have this innocent grow up to loneliness and misunderstanding, an outcast amongst her own people. I cannot! I should abort it, but the Valar help me, I cannot swallow the poison!"
Elrond bowed his head and tried very hard to keep the tears back but he was truly confused and upset, his mind and body in turmoil and self-loathing in every tone of his voice. Estel held him, soothing his foster father with soft words and softer hands, trying to offer what futile comfort he had for a position he could not possibly hope to empathize with fully.
"Was he alright when you left?" Elladan asked anxiously. Being the eldest, he felt it his duty to worry about the serious matters of living. And for Elrond to be unwell was a very serious matter. "Were there injuries?"
The messenger shook his head patiently. "Nay, there were none. Lord Elrond was tired, but otherwise unharmed. He said to tell you both expressly not to worry, that all would be explained when you reach Imladris."
"Then why do we plod like old men?" Elrohir growled impatiently, "Let us go faster!"
"Calm yourself, Elrohir," Legolas cautioned, his eyes fixed warily around at the silent forest, "This place contains or has recently seen danger. Listen to the whispers of the trees and see how no small woodland animal ventures out to our approach."
Elrohir collapsed back into a slow walk, muttering dark curses about tree elves who were too clever for their own good. Legolas grinned a little but held his tongue too. He would have liked to have questioned the messenger himself on Elrond's mysterious troubles but did not want to talk if he could help it. That, and it really wasn't his business.
The messenger had come only for Elladan and Elrohir, not him. He had only been persuaded to go back with them because he was alone and the twins insisted their father would disown them on the spot for letting the Crown Prince of Mirkwood make the journey back to his own lands without aid. And Legolas could quite believe that trouble would be caused. Elrond loved his children with an ardour unusual for elves, but hospitality and Lordly protection were never trifles to him. The Lord of Rivendell would half-kill Legolas himself for the insult of even considering it.
Once out of the dangerous part of the wood, the four took to their horses' heels and raced back, thundering through the beauty of Imladris without a thought more than that its Lord was quite possibly dying.
Though far from dying, the Lord of Imladris was currently flat on his back in bed, where Arwen and Estel were holding him hostage, feeling most unwell and trying not to show it. He had already thrown up once; he certainly didn't intend to do so again. Glorfindel kept trudging in with large sad blue eyes and Erestor had bounded about for a whole hour with water and teas and blankets and pillows. It had taken all Estel's persuasiveness and Arwen's sweetness to persuade the both of them to leave, for which Elrond was so grateful he'd let the two younger ones stay.
All three were currently quiet.
"Ada, are you still awake?" Arwen's voice.
"Yes, Arwen, I am awake. And no, I am not feeling any worse than I was five minutes ago."
Estel compressed his lips and thought about the unhappy and rather far- fetched notion in his head concerning his foster father's ill-health. His dearly oblivious Arwen would likely go hysterical once Elrond told her. As for Elladan and Elrohir! Well, Estel could only hope Elrond wasn't feeling particularly emotional when the time came.
The sounds of pounding steps sounded loud in the peace of the Last Homely House and then the door to the outer chamber was flung open with enough force to almost rend it from its hinges.
Elrond sat up quickly, almost falling again as the quick movement did nothing to help his nausea. Elladan and Elrohir throwing themselves at his disoriented head made things worse. Utilizing all the strength that had got him his legendary status, he pushed his sons from him and reached hurriedly for the basin at the side of the bed.
Elladan grabbed his father before Elrond tumbled to the floor in his haste and Elrohir stood back with a grimace and a wrinkled nose. Glorfindel and Erestor charged in and instantly questioned Arwen at great length as to why their Lord was currently retching desperately for the second time that morning. Estel contented himself with holding Elrond's hair away from his face and stroking his back.
It was quite some time before order was restored, but once Glorfindel had managed it, Elrond insisted on getting out of bed. His knees felt weak, but he was a warrior! What was more, morning sickness had never dropped him before and no matter how bad it was this time, it would not do so now. Elrond Half-Elven meant to make sure of that. Going back to his washroom to freshen up and change into something more suitable to less private areas of his house, he left explicit instructions that everyone congregate in the library and await him there.
Elladan and Elrohir used the short walk to question everyone as to what was going on. All of them shrugged except Estel, who melted into the background and said not a word.
"Are you all here?" Elrond asked, when he finally stumbled his way into the library. He had had to stop on his way there. "Good. Now, I know you all worry for my health. You need not do so. I know what is wrong with me and I am treating it."
He sank into a chair with a grateful sigh and accepted the cup of tea Erestor pressed into his hand. At least it would help settle his stomach even if it did taste disgusting. He let his eyes linger longingly on the windows. Sunshine, he thought dully, maybe I should take a walk this afternoon when the sickness lifts a little.
"Ada?" Elrohir- impatient as usual. "Ada, is that all?"
"Should there be more?" Elrond asked gently, putting his cup down.
"Well, yes! What exactly is it that's wrong with you? Why were you so violently unwell when we saw you in your room just now? And Arwen said you fainted when walking slowly in the corridor two days ago. Is it a poison?"
Elrond managed a soft laugh at that. Poison? No, it wasn't poison exactly. But then someone had managed to drug him with a fertility potion. Even his own fruitful curse would not have yielded a fourth child without one. He shook his dark head in refute.
"Then what is it?" Elladan asked, losing his patience too for the moment. It had scared him badly to see his father so ill.
Glorfindel looked his own enquiry, knowing well enough that Elrond would speak only when he wanted but needing his friend to know he was concerned. Somehow he felt that the Peredhil was not particularly confident in his own skin right then.
Sunshine and a simple walk, Elrond thought longingly. He took another sip of the tea to steady his nerves and nodded decisively. "If you must know, I am with child."
Four pairs of eyes turned to look disbelievingly at the seemingly unconcerned Elf Lord. Estel had guessed it was something of the sort. Living amongst the Rangers for a time had given him a lot of insight into such things. One of the women he'd rescued from Orcs was heavily pregnant and she had told him all about the pregnancy on their long trip back to safety. Elrond was exhibiting the same signs.
Erestor, on the other hand, had been there for his Lord's other pregnancies. He hadn't dreamed there would be another child this late in Elrond's life, but it definitely explained the symptoms.
"Has no one anything to say?" Elrond looked up and asked, betraying his apprehension.
Elladan did have a question, but as his tongue was cleaving to the roof of his mouth at the time, he felt in no position to answer it. Elrohir, though, had no such problems- "Whose is it?"
Elrond shook his head. "I cannot tell you that. Anyway it is of no consequence and the person will never know."
"Ada, everyone will know... especially when you start- start showing! How is this even possible? You're a male! Or am I mistaken there too?"
"Elrohir," Glorfindel rebuked sharply, "Do not speak to your father that way; you have not the right." Sufficiently cowing the younger elf with his best tutor's glare, he turned to his old friend and tried not to judge. "But he does have a point, my Lord. How is such a thing possible?"
"I have a gift," Elrond answered bitterly, "Or a curse if you wish to call it that. I do not know how it came to be, but sometimes some male elves do have the ability to carry children."
"But are you sure?" Arwen broke in, looking, as Estel had expected, fairly close to strong hysterics.
"The signs are there. I have morning sickness certainly, as you have all seen. And I can feel the life stirring in my body. I did the test two weeks ago and it was confirmed; I am pregnant."
Elladan's mouth finally decided to unstick. "But you can't be! It's impossible! And even if it is possible for you to conceive, how will the baby be birthed?"
Erestor fielded that question after a look at Elrond's drawn face. No, this was not an easy discussion for the Elf Lord. Particularly since Elrond had never viewed the ability as anything but a curse. His shame had deepened when Celebrian had been proven unable to carry a child to term. "Well, the child itself is protected inside a womb that grows with the conception. When the time comes for its delivery, we will have to cut it out."
The twins looked at each other, looked at the pleas in their parent's eyes and decided it was all too much to take it. "We- we need to think a bit, Ada," Elladan murmured, "Excuse us. I'm happy, but... I mean, it's just so... we'll be back before sunset."
Elrond bit his lip in uncharacteristic dismay as his sons rushed from the room, almost falling out the door in their haste. Erestor quietly ushered the rest of them out, though when Estel demurely asked to stay, the steward allowed it. The three sat in the silence of the large room and said nothing until Elrond broke out of his trance.
"How could this happen, my Lord?" Erestor asked softly.
The Lord of Imladris looked warily to Estel, expecting to be rejected by him as well. After all, his own children had done so. But the man walked to his side and dropped a comforting hand on his shoulder. There were no words, but the touch was enough to ease the doubts for the moment.
"I had one night," Elrond said painfully, "This is the consequence."
"But it has been at least two thousand years since Arwen and you have had lovers at varying times throughout that period. You did not conceive then. Why now? Are you not a little old to be conceiving?"
"I am," Elrond ground out, leaning forward so that his dark hair hid his humiliated blush, "Elves of my age do not usually conceive at this time of their life, male or otherwise. I think someone sabotaged my body. I- I had drunk a cup of wine left in my room, thinking it was placed there by my night's partner. I thought it tasted odd and when the signs starting to show almost immediately in the weeks following, I noticed a bottle of fertility potion was missing from the stock room. There was no reason an elf could not have simply asked me for the mixture, so I can only assume it was stolen, and intended for myself."
"How far along are you?" Estel asked, still gently massaging Elrond's shoulder.
"Two months," the elf answered absently, "Oh, Elbereth, what will I do? I cannot have this child! My own family will hate me for it and how will I explain it to everyone? At least Celebrian was there for the others, so we simply confined ourselves in Lothlorien until the delivery."
"Others?"
"My children truly are my children, Estel. I bore Elladan and Elrohir, as I did Arwen. Celebrian was not able to carry children without suffering a miscarriage and she bitterly resented me for that. What was worse, I believe that to be the reason she was willing to leave her family for the Undying Lands. I will not have this innocent grow up to loneliness and misunderstanding, an outcast amongst her own people. I cannot! I should abort it, but the Valar help me, I cannot swallow the poison!"
Elrond bowed his head and tried very hard to keep the tears back but he was truly confused and upset, his mind and body in turmoil and self-loathing in every tone of his voice. Estel held him, soothing his foster father with soft words and softer hands, trying to offer what futile comfort he had for a position he could not possibly hope to empathize with fully.