Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tolkien. I am just playing around with their personalities. ;)
Rating: PG-13.
Author's Note: My Dear Consistent Reviewers – Although I may end all of my reviews with a redundant phrase every time, I mean every word I say; your reviews mean so much more to me than you know. Thank you so much!
Thank you to aronoiiel, for reviewing chapter 5, 6 and 7! I am flattered that my writing made you cry. ;) I am so glad that you enjoy my layout of mood and emotions; it's always nice to see readers who recognize the writer's share of emotion when reading the work. And your generous phrases put me at a blush; thank you so much. I do love Glorfindel and Erestor although I don't know them canon-wise, and their relationship with each other and people around them is really important to me. I always adore the silent supporter types. ;) I will continue to try to portray my characters as realistically as possible, if only to not disappoint you ;) Thank you again!
Thank you to Beling, for reviewing chapters 6 and 7! You are right, it is simply amazing and heartbreaking how much pain had plagued the wise and strong Lord Elrond. And it's nice to see that you connected my Erestor scene with the beginning! Hehe. And yes, Glorfindel is an enigma to me, even though I am writing a story featuring him. Sigh. Well, I hope to delve deeper into this elf, and meanwhile, I will tell you that the fic you requested is finished, though it is a bit off from what you may have wanted. Heh. Sorry. But I will post it if you still want it. Thank you for reviewing!
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By Kasmi Kassim
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Tears of Yesterday
Chapter 8: Hush of Gray
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It was late afternoon when Glorfindel entered the house, sheathing his sword and steadying his rough breathing. The day's training had been excessive. In the past weeks, the golden-haired elf's training had taken up an air of brutality to it, not to his fellow warriors but to himself, and had been steadily growing more vicious by the day. Though the surrounding warriors had watched on with worry, not one dared to voice a concern about his changed air; they had remained at a respectful distance from the elf as he trained alone, eyes gleaming savagely and hair whipping about him in feral glory. The Glorfindel that began to emerge was a foreign being, wild and uncontrollable – and the surfacing of this persona hushed the grieving household even further. Only one elf seemed untouched by the change, as if he had known this untamed creature all along. Only one had dared to stride toward him across the training lawn and look him in the eye to tell him that he was overexerting himself; that elf had grabbed his sword and thrown it onto the grass, demanding that he stop this madness. And that was days ago, and Glorfindel had not obeyed. And now, he was tired – on the verge of collapsing. And that was a welcome effect.
Coward, he had said darkly. And Glorfindel had only smiled wearily in response. He had been called that by this elf since the day they met. He was not as strong as his friend was. Though the sharp-tongued elf would cuff his head for thinking thus, and probably give him a piece of his mind. Physically.
After a stop by the bath, Glorfindel finally reached his room. He opened the door, letting out a long, tired breath. Closing the door, he turned and leaned his forehead against the wood. And remained still, breathing quietly onto the cool, smooth surface, eyes closed.
When at last he raised his body away from the door and turned, he gave a startled gasp and reflexively backed against the door. Erestor sat on his bed, his gray robes draping gently about the sheets. His hands were neatly intertwined on top of his knees. And he looked up at Glorfindel, silent, as the blond elf continued to stare.
"What brings you?" The voice was hoarse. Glorfindel did not bother to clear his throat. He did not need to talk anyway; the question was only thrown to fill the silence, as he was too exhausted to answer the penetrating gaze of his friend.
Tossing his sword down against the wall, he approached the bed, and the motionless elf on top of it. He was more drained than he had thought. But some of the weariness was lifted now, absorbed into the black abyss of the other elf's eyes.
Erestor continued to watch him, slick black hair spilling against the white sheets on the mattress, his dark eyes glittering into deep blue. Glorfindel stopped, and looked down wordlessly.
The raven-haired elf slowly turned to look out the window. His long hair shifted with a soft whisper as it dragged smoothly across the sheets.
"'Tis a gray day."
The soft voice seemed to awaken Glorfindel's feet to life again. He moved once more, and stood before the elf who was now looking back. Eyes locked onto that of his friend, Glorfindel slowly kneeled before the seated elf, and rested his hands carefully upon the slim knees. Interlacing his fingers, he looked up, and Erestor silently looked down.
Finally, Erestor raised his hand and slowly began to stroke damp strands of wayward hair behind Glorfindel's ear. The golden elf continued to look up into his eyes, unblinking, silent.
"Did you smile today?"
Glorfindel shook his head.
Erestor raised his other hand and tucked strands of hair behind his friend's other ear.
"A day is wasted if you do not smile even once." A gentle reprimand.
Glorfindel's face broke into a weak smile. "Aye, my friend, but somehow I do not think I should be hearing that from you."
Smiling back faintly, Erestor slowly leaned forward and rested his chin on the crown of Glorfindel's head. His black eyes glimmered as he breathed out a sigh. "That is why I come to you."
The feeble smile on Glorfindel's lips was lost as dark shades of robes gently enveloped his vision. Sighing wearily, he slumped, as a familiar black crystal appeared from the folds of the dark robes and rested against his forehead. The cool, smooth surface caressed his heated skin, and Glorfindel closed his eyes.
And the two remained unmoving as the gray skies loomed quietly overhead, strong hands gently pressing against cold knees, weary chin resting atop of golden head.
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Elrohir sat on the floor, blankly staring at the wall, as Elladan dangled from Arwen's crib and shook a small doll before her eyes. The gurgled laughter of the infant filled the gloomy silence of the room. It was a cloudy afternoon. And it was going to be a starless twilight.
Elrohir moved his gaze toward Elladan, and stared long at the crib. "Arwen will not remember, will she?" he murmured softly, almost to himself.
Elladan looked up, gaze turning toward his brother. Elrohir stared back, and Elladan climbed down from the crib. "She is lucky in that."
Elrohir shifted his gaze to the crib once again, and the faraway look settled back into his eyes. "I suppose."
Neither of the spoke. Elladan stood before the crib, watching his brother, and Elrohir stared blankly into the wall again, eyes unfocused and lost. His fingers were wringing idly.
With a despondent sigh, Elladan moved toward his twin. He kneeled before him, and looked into the distant eyes.
"Elrohir."
Identical eyes locked. And Elrohir slowly drew back. Unnerved by Elladan's persistent gaze, he looked away. Elladan grabbed his arm and forced him to meet his eyes once more. His breath was a passionate whisper.
"We need you, Elrohir."
The words seemed to deal a deathblow to the hollow-eyed twin. Suddenly, Elrohir jerked out of Elladan's grip and began to move away. However, Elladan swiftly caught him again, and the two were soon locked in a desperate struggle.
They were evenly matched in strength, but Elladan's decision was swifter. In a sudden and forceful move, he pinned Elrohir against the floor, and was soon breathing hard as he looked down upon his frantic brother with a desperate gleam in his young eyes.
"Don't slip away."
Elrohir clenched his teeth, and looked away. His wrists strained against the weight of his brother's hands. He struggled once more, but when his eyes traveled to the crib, he froze. Where his gaze lingered, the babe was sleeping peacefully.
Silence settled upon the gray of the room.
Shutting his eyes, Elrohir let out a shaky breath. His fists uncurled, and fell limp against the floor.
Silence.
Elladan slowly bent down toward his twin, lowering his lids, as his trembling lips murmured a mournful plea.
"We need you." The whisper was broken, hot against his neck.
A soft sob broke out from between clenched teeth. Sprawled on the floor, eyes tightly shut, Elrohir struggled against the wail that threatened to rip out of his throat. And as the agonizing cry rose into the air, his mirror image slowly bent down over him, wrapping his arms around the prone body underneath. And lowering himself completely onto the trembling one below, he let out a quivering breath, burying his head in his shoulder. His voice was a lost whisper.
"I need you."
The two identical figures remained entangled on the floor, motionless, as the dimming daylight quietly shrouded the hot, muffled wail that shredded the hush of the room.
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To Be Continued
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seeing-spots: Really? Glad you think so! Thank you!
Unsung Heroine: Spooky, huh? That's the first. ::chuckles:: Anyway, glad you agree with me on the Arwen issue. Thank you for reviewing!
Ertia: Ooh, glad I pleased you after your weekend! And it's nice to hear that you caught the efforts I put into my sentences. It takes a lot of work to squeeze some useful things out of this brain o' mine...;) And I am overjoyed that you felt my Glorfindel so well! Thank you!
Anastasia Who: You think so? Thank you! It's good to hear that you can see my emotions in the writing!
ThePastIsPrologue: I'm glad that you thought of that! Before I knew their real age, the young ages I set up here just seemed to make more sense than any other. As you said, I thought they grew up without a mother and blamed the orcs for taking away their innocent childhood. And another small factor was this: seeing how much heartache I put little Legolas through and experienced with him in the writing of The Strength of One Green Leaf, I did not want to relive a similar experience of premature loss in little Arwen's place by making her old enough to remember. The emotional ride was too exhausting in the end. ;) And I must thank you over and over again for your invitation for a private talk; I was so happy, and would be delighted to talk to you! I would have contacted you via email before posting this chapter, but you see, I still did not start reading the books yet...; I placed a hold on The Hobbit in the library so that I can finish that and move onto LOTR. Yup, your invitation spurred me to take action and start reading! I am really excited; I am actually being more and more drawn to the Silmarillion, though I never read the books and only read pieces of fanfics about some elves that I don't really know...it seems fascinating. Well, enough ranting...sorry. ;) Anyway, thank you again!
Coolio02: Yes, Glorfindel continues to be in his little vicious slayer mode. ;) Thank you for your review!
Someone Reading: Thank you once again for your beautiful collaborative reading, mellon nin. Your ability to read into such a short chapter and see and feel the unspoken would put any critic to shame. And as for wallowing...yes, Elrond is wallowing. ;) And I am surprised to hear that you have also experienced such an emotional turmoil that you had to be dragged to the light by a friend. Such dark times really let you see the brilliant beacons of friendship, don't they? ;) I have some more angst stories coming up, where friends will be similarly forceful to the protagonist. ;) Anyway, I must thank you again – it is such a gratifying experience to have readers who share the experience of the writer as they throw themselves into the words as the writer has done. Unworthy as I am, my heart swells whenever I see that a reader has been willing to delve deep into the work and see the part of me that I had buried in my writing. It really makes all the wholehearted effort and experience worth it, to have someone share them with me. ;) Thank you.
Tara: That's wonderful to hear! I am glad I did not shatter your vision of Glorfindel. ;) And here ya go, you got Arwen in this chapter. ;) She is not a prominent feature in this story, as I am focusing on the grief of loss here and she is not old enough to feel the loss of her mother in my story. I am surprised and glad to hear that you liked my last chapter! Thank you!
Brazgirl: Actually, he did not say those exact words – my Ada said 'don't cry anymore, because if you cry, my heart hurts a lot' and believe me, it does not sound that cheesy in Korean. ;) So I took liberties with it and changed it a bit. Anyway, your ada is working far away from home? That is so sad. I know a lot of Korean kids around me whose parents work far away too, just to let the children have a chance at a better life in America. I can really feel how that must be. It's nice to hear that he may be able to come to you for his birthday ;) Isn't it always such a happy reunion, times like those? ;) Well anyway, I am ranting now. Oops. I'm glad to hear that you liked my last chapter. Thank you!
That Undomiel Chick: Yes, me too. When your heart is clenching painfully, you just can't eat. You can't chew or swallow, and if you force yourself to eat, you either get sick or tears start falling. It's a horrible feeling. Sigh. Anyway, I'm glad you relate. Thank you for reviewing!
Achika: Aww, I am glad to hear you say that! Journey indeed. And for the writer, it is an exhausting journey in a sense, to have to put intense emotions in each chapter – even more so, when I am trying to express the intensity in a subtle way. But it is such a beautiful feeling, to throw yourself into the world and emotions of the characters. Thank you for sharing the journey with me!
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