Title: This Tear
Author: SydGillyKC
Author's Note: Sorry guys, this took me a little longer than expected. My trip to Boston plus going back to school after a hectic vacation (and having an AP bio test the day I got back, yuck) threw off my plans for getting this finished up sooner. But it's finally here! Enjoy!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Vaughn," she whispered into his ear. "Since yesterday, I've been thinking constantly about what I need to do and say in case. Well, in case the surgery doesn't go well. When it came to you, there was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted you to know. But considering that our lives our in danger every time we're so much as within a few feet of each other, I knew I wouldn't be able to tell you all those things. There's one thing, though, that I have to tell you. One thing I *need* you to know-"
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 7: Surgery
"Syd-" Vaughn said, cutting her off as he gently pulled back from their embrace. "Whatever you're about to say. don't." He looked at her a moment, his expression incredibly pained and sad. "I won't let you say goodbye to me. You are going to be okay," he said slowly, emphasizing each word as he took her hands in his own.
"Vaughn-"
"You are going to be okay," he said more firmly this time. Sydney looked at him, her expression unreadable. She silently debated with herself whether to argue with him, to make him see the truth, but the look in his eyes quickly convinced her otherwise. He needed her assurance. He wasn't a stupid man, he knew that she may not come out of the surgery "okay," but he needed to hear her believe that she would. If she needed to lie to give that to him, she would.
She nodded. For him, that was enough.
It took them only moments to realize that the sun would soon come up. They looked at each other, both realizing that it was time for Vaughn to leave. It was time for them to say goodbye. Without speaking, they both got up from the couch and walked toward the door. Reaching it, they simply turned and looked at each other. Vaughn's eyes drank in the sight of her, as if they knew what his heart would not admit: that this may be the last time he ever laid eyes on Sydney Bristow.
Knowing any words he could say would be hollow and inadequate, he simply reached his hand out and laid it softly on the side of her face, his thumb slowly stroking her cheek. She closed her eyes at the initial touch, only to open them a few seconds later, filled with unshed tears. She brought her hand up to his, removing it from her face and holding it in her own.
"I'll see you soon," he said softly, with much more certainty than he felt. She looked at him a moment and then slowly nodded, unable to speak. He stepped forward, eliminating the space between them and lowered his lips to her forehead, kissing it gently. He pulled back to see her eyes closed, one single tear having escaped and trailed down her cheek. She opened her eyes and looked at him again, their eyes communicating so much more than their words ever could. Slowly, painfully, Vaughn turned and walked out the door. Sydney shut it behind him, sagging immediately against it.
And for the first time in years, she prayed.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The next morning, Sydney had crossed off everything on her "to do" list except for one item. She still had one more thing she needed to do to in preparation for the worst. Many of things on her list had been legal matters or work-related. This last thing was personal. It was something she simply had to do, no matter how painful.
She heard the buzzer go off as the bars lifted. As she walked through one set, the next opened, and so on until she finally saw the large glass window ahead of her. Walking up to it, she immediately saw her mother inside, slowly rising from her sitting position on the edge of her bed. She walked up to the glass and stood right in front of Sydney. Sydney noted how her mother studied her. She also noted the degree of sadness in her mother's eyes. She quickly deduced that her mother already knew everything.
"Sydney. how are you feeling?" She asked finally.
"I'm okay. I'm assuming you already know about my condition," Sydney said, deliberately being vague about her illness. She knew all of her meetings with her mother were monitored. Whoever was watching would not get the satisfaction of knowing about her illness. The last thing she needed was to become the topic of conversation around the CIA.
"Your father's kept me updated." Sydney nodded.
"I'm sorry I haven't been to see you. I'm sorry I couldn't have told you myself. Things have been. overwhelming," Sydney said, knowing her mother would understand that she was referring to the treatments. Irina Derevko was anything but a stupid woman.
"Understandable. I'm glad you're doing alright," She said, causing Sydney to look down at the ground.
"Actually, I came because tomorrow-"
"Is your operation," her mother finished for her.
"Yes." They both paused, letting the silence momentarily hang in the air.
"Are you afraid, Sydney?" The question surprised Sydney, though she didn't let it show on her face. She took a moment to really think about it. After so many years of being a spy, the concept of death didn't bother her so much. No, she wasn't afraid of dying. The fear she felt was only for who and what she was leaving behind. Unable to convey this to her mother given their location, she simply looked at her, hoping her eyes reflected her thoughts well enough for her mother to understand.
"Do you know," her mother began softly, "that you were never sick for more than a day or two at a time when you were a child? Whatever it was, you never stayed sick. You refused to let it keep you down. Everyone used to ask me what kind of medicines I used. They were amazed by you." Sydney looked at her mother, surprised by the story. Her father had never mentioned that to her. Silently thinking back, she found she really didn't have any memories of being sick as a child. She took a deep breath before gathering her strength to say what she had come to say to her mother.
"I know I haven't said it before, but. thank you, Mom. For everything. I'm glad you came back," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She saw her mother's eyes change, barely shimmering with tears.
"You'll be okay, Sydney. I can feel it," her mother replied, pressing her hand up against the glass. Without looking away from her mother's eyes, Sydney pressed her hand up against the same spot. Her mother smiled, her eyes still filled with tears. Sydney couldn't help but smile back. They looked at each other for another moment, the connection between them the strongest it had been since she was a young child.
When she knew it was time, Sydney turned and walked away, through the bars, never looking back.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sydney checked into the hospital that night, Will and Francie there with her for support. She could tell they were trying a little too hard to act positive about the whole thing. One look in their eyes easily revealed to her how truly terrified they were. And though she'd never admit it to a soul, she a stirring felt fear deep inside her as well. She still had so much to do in her life. She hadn't even taken down SD-6 yet. If there were such a thing as dying in peace, she didn't think it possible for her while her biggest goal had yet to be accomplished. There were so many truths she still had to tell to so many people.
Sydney had been in her room with Will and Francie for two hours before they finally decided to leave to get some sleep, promising to be back early the next morning so they could see her right before her surgery. After a few hugs and forced smiles, her two friends left. Laying back on her pillow, she contemplated turning off the light and trying to go to sleep, but knew it would be pointless. There was no way she could fall asleep with her mind racing the way it was.
She didn't have long to get lost in her thoughts, though, because it was only minutes before she heard the door open and someone walk inside. She quickly turned and sat up, and was surprised to see her father closing the door behind him.
"Dad?"
"I, um, I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I wanted to wait until you were alone," he said to her, walking over to the side of her bed and sitting down in a chair positioned there from when Will and Francie had been visiting.
"That's fine. I honestly wasn't expecting you. but I'm glad you came," she admitted.
"I wanted to see you before your surgery," Jack said, his face very serious. Sydney's heart started to beat a little faster, as she wondered if there was some other reason her father had come. She wondered if he'd heard something from Dr. Madison.
"Is everything okay, Dad?" She asked, knowing Jack would understand the deeper meaning of her words.
"Everything's fine. I just wanted to say, well, good luck, I guess. I'm sure everything will go just fine," he said, forcing himself to meet Sydney's eyes. In them, she saw the same look of denial she'd seen in Vaughn's eyes. She knew he was still trying to convince himself of his own words even as he said them to her. She didn't blame him. Had she been speaking to her child, she knew she'd probably say the same thing.
"Thanks, Dad," she said with a smile. She reached down and gripped his hand, trying to give him the assurance he was having trouble with. He squeezed her hand and looked up at her.
"I'm proud of you, Sydney," he said so softly, she almost didn't hear it. She knew that in that one statement, her father was saying so much more. He was expressing thing she'd longed to hear from him since she was a little girl. She immediately felt a lump in the back of her throat. Unable to reply to his confession, she merely nodded. She knew he understood what that meant to her. The words weren't needed.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Vaughn yawned for what felt like the thousandth time as he walked in the door. He'd spent the night at the office, needing to work in order to take his mind of Sydney's surgery. He checked his watch. It read 5:09 AM. Sydney's surgery was scheduled for 7:00 AM. There was definitely no chance of him getting any sleep until Will called and told him that Sydney had made it out of surgery okay. He *would* get that call, he reminded himself. She *had* to be okay.
Suddenly, he noticed that his answering machine was flashing. He walked slowly over to it, hitting the "play" button and then positioning his finger over the "erase" one, ready to delete what he was sure would be sales calls and hang-ups. He had three messages. The first one was, indeed, a hang-up. Then the second one started playing.
"Agent Vaughn," he heard the urgent voice and was suddenly wide awake. "It's Dr. Madison. I know I told you that the preliminary tests showed nothing out of the ordinary, but I ran some more extensive tests in order to be certain. I've found something. Please call me right away."
Vaughn never heard the third message.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
In his car, he frantically dialed and redialed the doctor. Again and again, he got no answer. Finally, he swore loudly and threw his phone onto the passenger seat. He pressed harder on the gas pedal, willing the car not to lose control as it sped up. He hurriedly drove toward the doctor's address, which he'd obtained after he'd frantically called Weiss and asked him to look it up at headquarters.
Finally, he pulled into the driveway so fast that the tires squealed, and he was sure they left dark marks on the street, but he didn't care. He threw open the car door without even turning off the car and ran to the front door of the house. He pounded on the door as soon as he reached it. He was only able to contain himself for a few seconds before he reached for the handle. He was surprised to find that it was loose enough for him to turn it all the way around. He quickly reached to his holster and pulled out his gun. He pushed open the door and walked in cautiously, gun held in front of him. He searched through the downstairs quickly, finding the kitchen, dining room, and living room all empty. Climbing the stairs as quickly as possible, he walked down the sparsely furnished hallway and kicked open the first door. It ended up being the bedroom. Vaughn quickly noted that it was empty, but that there was another door to which he assumed was a bathroom, which was closed. He crossed the room and tried the knob. Locked.
"Dr. Madison?" He called out, but got no response. Vaughn took a deep breath and brought his leg up to the door and kicked it with as much force as he could. The door swung open to quickly reveal blood. Right as his feet. And only a few feet away lay Dr. Madison, lying in the middle of the bathroom floor with a bullet hole in the middle of his head. Vaughn drew in a shuddery breath, and only took a few seconds to look over the body before he pulled out his cell phone and dialed quickly.
"Jack! It's Vaughn. We have a problem. We've been made, and I think Sydney's in serious trouble."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sydney saw Will and Francie smiling encouragingly at her as the elevator doors closed to take them up to the surgical floor. She smiled back at them, praying that it wouldn't be for the last time. Once the doors were completely closed, she allowed the smile to slip from her face as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes for the duration of the ride. Once she heard the ding of the elevator, she felt herself being pushed off the elevator and onto the surgical floor. She opened her eyes and allowed them to focus on the lights that passed above her. She heard all kinds of sounds in the background, but couldn't seem to focus on any of them. She focused only on her breathing, willing her mind not to dwell on the hours ahead. She snapped out of her daze only when she felt herself being pushed into the operating room. They pushed her bed up next to the table and asked her to move herself onto it. She complied and lied back. She suddenly saw the surgeon, who'd gone over the surgery with her the previous night, leaning over her.
"Are you ready, Sydney?" He asked. Gathering every ounce of strength in her, Sydney nodded. The surgeon nodded back in response. He turned to one of the nurses and said something to her. She handed him a mask, which he quickly put over Sydney's mouth and nose.
"Why don't you count backwards from ten?" He asked. Sydney nodded, already feeling drowsy.
"Ten. nine. eight. seven. six. five. four. three."
Before she could reach two, Sydney drifted away into the darkness.
To be continued.
A/N: Well there's chapter seven for you! Honestly, I had planned that part without Sydney going to see her mother, but I realized if I wanted to stay true to the characters, I had to add it. I knew that's what she would do if she were actually in the situation. The only problem is that her mother is incredibly difficult to write, and I struggled over that part for a while. I hope it stays pretty true to her character. I'm sorry if it doesn't. I tried lol. Please please please review! Enough reviews might actually motivate me to get another part out before the end of the weekend. You guys should know that I've had a problem forever with keeping myself motivated enough to finish a story. I never knew how to get that motivation until I posted this story. Your reviews are what keep me writing. Otherwise, I never would've gotten this far. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, keep it up! And those of you who haven't yet, what better a time to start than now? Lol! Go review!
Author: SydGillyKC
Author's Note: Sorry guys, this took me a little longer than expected. My trip to Boston plus going back to school after a hectic vacation (and having an AP bio test the day I got back, yuck) threw off my plans for getting this finished up sooner. But it's finally here! Enjoy!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Vaughn," she whispered into his ear. "Since yesterday, I've been thinking constantly about what I need to do and say in case. Well, in case the surgery doesn't go well. When it came to you, there was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted you to know. But considering that our lives our in danger every time we're so much as within a few feet of each other, I knew I wouldn't be able to tell you all those things. There's one thing, though, that I have to tell you. One thing I *need* you to know-"
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 7: Surgery
"Syd-" Vaughn said, cutting her off as he gently pulled back from their embrace. "Whatever you're about to say. don't." He looked at her a moment, his expression incredibly pained and sad. "I won't let you say goodbye to me. You are going to be okay," he said slowly, emphasizing each word as he took her hands in his own.
"Vaughn-"
"You are going to be okay," he said more firmly this time. Sydney looked at him, her expression unreadable. She silently debated with herself whether to argue with him, to make him see the truth, but the look in his eyes quickly convinced her otherwise. He needed her assurance. He wasn't a stupid man, he knew that she may not come out of the surgery "okay," but he needed to hear her believe that she would. If she needed to lie to give that to him, she would.
She nodded. For him, that was enough.
It took them only moments to realize that the sun would soon come up. They looked at each other, both realizing that it was time for Vaughn to leave. It was time for them to say goodbye. Without speaking, they both got up from the couch and walked toward the door. Reaching it, they simply turned and looked at each other. Vaughn's eyes drank in the sight of her, as if they knew what his heart would not admit: that this may be the last time he ever laid eyes on Sydney Bristow.
Knowing any words he could say would be hollow and inadequate, he simply reached his hand out and laid it softly on the side of her face, his thumb slowly stroking her cheek. She closed her eyes at the initial touch, only to open them a few seconds later, filled with unshed tears. She brought her hand up to his, removing it from her face and holding it in her own.
"I'll see you soon," he said softly, with much more certainty than he felt. She looked at him a moment and then slowly nodded, unable to speak. He stepped forward, eliminating the space between them and lowered his lips to her forehead, kissing it gently. He pulled back to see her eyes closed, one single tear having escaped and trailed down her cheek. She opened her eyes and looked at him again, their eyes communicating so much more than their words ever could. Slowly, painfully, Vaughn turned and walked out the door. Sydney shut it behind him, sagging immediately against it.
And for the first time in years, she prayed.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The next morning, Sydney had crossed off everything on her "to do" list except for one item. She still had one more thing she needed to do to in preparation for the worst. Many of things on her list had been legal matters or work-related. This last thing was personal. It was something she simply had to do, no matter how painful.
She heard the buzzer go off as the bars lifted. As she walked through one set, the next opened, and so on until she finally saw the large glass window ahead of her. Walking up to it, she immediately saw her mother inside, slowly rising from her sitting position on the edge of her bed. She walked up to the glass and stood right in front of Sydney. Sydney noted how her mother studied her. She also noted the degree of sadness in her mother's eyes. She quickly deduced that her mother already knew everything.
"Sydney. how are you feeling?" She asked finally.
"I'm okay. I'm assuming you already know about my condition," Sydney said, deliberately being vague about her illness. She knew all of her meetings with her mother were monitored. Whoever was watching would not get the satisfaction of knowing about her illness. The last thing she needed was to become the topic of conversation around the CIA.
"Your father's kept me updated." Sydney nodded.
"I'm sorry I haven't been to see you. I'm sorry I couldn't have told you myself. Things have been. overwhelming," Sydney said, knowing her mother would understand that she was referring to the treatments. Irina Derevko was anything but a stupid woman.
"Understandable. I'm glad you're doing alright," She said, causing Sydney to look down at the ground.
"Actually, I came because tomorrow-"
"Is your operation," her mother finished for her.
"Yes." They both paused, letting the silence momentarily hang in the air.
"Are you afraid, Sydney?" The question surprised Sydney, though she didn't let it show on her face. She took a moment to really think about it. After so many years of being a spy, the concept of death didn't bother her so much. No, she wasn't afraid of dying. The fear she felt was only for who and what she was leaving behind. Unable to convey this to her mother given their location, she simply looked at her, hoping her eyes reflected her thoughts well enough for her mother to understand.
"Do you know," her mother began softly, "that you were never sick for more than a day or two at a time when you were a child? Whatever it was, you never stayed sick. You refused to let it keep you down. Everyone used to ask me what kind of medicines I used. They were amazed by you." Sydney looked at her mother, surprised by the story. Her father had never mentioned that to her. Silently thinking back, she found she really didn't have any memories of being sick as a child. She took a deep breath before gathering her strength to say what she had come to say to her mother.
"I know I haven't said it before, but. thank you, Mom. For everything. I'm glad you came back," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She saw her mother's eyes change, barely shimmering with tears.
"You'll be okay, Sydney. I can feel it," her mother replied, pressing her hand up against the glass. Without looking away from her mother's eyes, Sydney pressed her hand up against the same spot. Her mother smiled, her eyes still filled with tears. Sydney couldn't help but smile back. They looked at each other for another moment, the connection between them the strongest it had been since she was a young child.
When she knew it was time, Sydney turned and walked away, through the bars, never looking back.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sydney checked into the hospital that night, Will and Francie there with her for support. She could tell they were trying a little too hard to act positive about the whole thing. One look in their eyes easily revealed to her how truly terrified they were. And though she'd never admit it to a soul, she a stirring felt fear deep inside her as well. She still had so much to do in her life. She hadn't even taken down SD-6 yet. If there were such a thing as dying in peace, she didn't think it possible for her while her biggest goal had yet to be accomplished. There were so many truths she still had to tell to so many people.
Sydney had been in her room with Will and Francie for two hours before they finally decided to leave to get some sleep, promising to be back early the next morning so they could see her right before her surgery. After a few hugs and forced smiles, her two friends left. Laying back on her pillow, she contemplated turning off the light and trying to go to sleep, but knew it would be pointless. There was no way she could fall asleep with her mind racing the way it was.
She didn't have long to get lost in her thoughts, though, because it was only minutes before she heard the door open and someone walk inside. She quickly turned and sat up, and was surprised to see her father closing the door behind him.
"Dad?"
"I, um, I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I wanted to wait until you were alone," he said to her, walking over to the side of her bed and sitting down in a chair positioned there from when Will and Francie had been visiting.
"That's fine. I honestly wasn't expecting you. but I'm glad you came," she admitted.
"I wanted to see you before your surgery," Jack said, his face very serious. Sydney's heart started to beat a little faster, as she wondered if there was some other reason her father had come. She wondered if he'd heard something from Dr. Madison.
"Is everything okay, Dad?" She asked, knowing Jack would understand the deeper meaning of her words.
"Everything's fine. I just wanted to say, well, good luck, I guess. I'm sure everything will go just fine," he said, forcing himself to meet Sydney's eyes. In them, she saw the same look of denial she'd seen in Vaughn's eyes. She knew he was still trying to convince himself of his own words even as he said them to her. She didn't blame him. Had she been speaking to her child, she knew she'd probably say the same thing.
"Thanks, Dad," she said with a smile. She reached down and gripped his hand, trying to give him the assurance he was having trouble with. He squeezed her hand and looked up at her.
"I'm proud of you, Sydney," he said so softly, she almost didn't hear it. She knew that in that one statement, her father was saying so much more. He was expressing thing she'd longed to hear from him since she was a little girl. She immediately felt a lump in the back of her throat. Unable to reply to his confession, she merely nodded. She knew he understood what that meant to her. The words weren't needed.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Vaughn yawned for what felt like the thousandth time as he walked in the door. He'd spent the night at the office, needing to work in order to take his mind of Sydney's surgery. He checked his watch. It read 5:09 AM. Sydney's surgery was scheduled for 7:00 AM. There was definitely no chance of him getting any sleep until Will called and told him that Sydney had made it out of surgery okay. He *would* get that call, he reminded himself. She *had* to be okay.
Suddenly, he noticed that his answering machine was flashing. He walked slowly over to it, hitting the "play" button and then positioning his finger over the "erase" one, ready to delete what he was sure would be sales calls and hang-ups. He had three messages. The first one was, indeed, a hang-up. Then the second one started playing.
"Agent Vaughn," he heard the urgent voice and was suddenly wide awake. "It's Dr. Madison. I know I told you that the preliminary tests showed nothing out of the ordinary, but I ran some more extensive tests in order to be certain. I've found something. Please call me right away."
Vaughn never heard the third message.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
In his car, he frantically dialed and redialed the doctor. Again and again, he got no answer. Finally, he swore loudly and threw his phone onto the passenger seat. He pressed harder on the gas pedal, willing the car not to lose control as it sped up. He hurriedly drove toward the doctor's address, which he'd obtained after he'd frantically called Weiss and asked him to look it up at headquarters.
Finally, he pulled into the driveway so fast that the tires squealed, and he was sure they left dark marks on the street, but he didn't care. He threw open the car door without even turning off the car and ran to the front door of the house. He pounded on the door as soon as he reached it. He was only able to contain himself for a few seconds before he reached for the handle. He was surprised to find that it was loose enough for him to turn it all the way around. He quickly reached to his holster and pulled out his gun. He pushed open the door and walked in cautiously, gun held in front of him. He searched through the downstairs quickly, finding the kitchen, dining room, and living room all empty. Climbing the stairs as quickly as possible, he walked down the sparsely furnished hallway and kicked open the first door. It ended up being the bedroom. Vaughn quickly noted that it was empty, but that there was another door to which he assumed was a bathroom, which was closed. He crossed the room and tried the knob. Locked.
"Dr. Madison?" He called out, but got no response. Vaughn took a deep breath and brought his leg up to the door and kicked it with as much force as he could. The door swung open to quickly reveal blood. Right as his feet. And only a few feet away lay Dr. Madison, lying in the middle of the bathroom floor with a bullet hole in the middle of his head. Vaughn drew in a shuddery breath, and only took a few seconds to look over the body before he pulled out his cell phone and dialed quickly.
"Jack! It's Vaughn. We have a problem. We've been made, and I think Sydney's in serious trouble."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sydney saw Will and Francie smiling encouragingly at her as the elevator doors closed to take them up to the surgical floor. She smiled back at them, praying that it wouldn't be for the last time. Once the doors were completely closed, she allowed the smile to slip from her face as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes for the duration of the ride. Once she heard the ding of the elevator, she felt herself being pushed off the elevator and onto the surgical floor. She opened her eyes and allowed them to focus on the lights that passed above her. She heard all kinds of sounds in the background, but couldn't seem to focus on any of them. She focused only on her breathing, willing her mind not to dwell on the hours ahead. She snapped out of her daze only when she felt herself being pushed into the operating room. They pushed her bed up next to the table and asked her to move herself onto it. She complied and lied back. She suddenly saw the surgeon, who'd gone over the surgery with her the previous night, leaning over her.
"Are you ready, Sydney?" He asked. Gathering every ounce of strength in her, Sydney nodded. The surgeon nodded back in response. He turned to one of the nurses and said something to her. She handed him a mask, which he quickly put over Sydney's mouth and nose.
"Why don't you count backwards from ten?" He asked. Sydney nodded, already feeling drowsy.
"Ten. nine. eight. seven. six. five. four. three."
Before she could reach two, Sydney drifted away into the darkness.
To be continued.
A/N: Well there's chapter seven for you! Honestly, I had planned that part without Sydney going to see her mother, but I realized if I wanted to stay true to the characters, I had to add it. I knew that's what she would do if she were actually in the situation. The only problem is that her mother is incredibly difficult to write, and I struggled over that part for a while. I hope it stays pretty true to her character. I'm sorry if it doesn't. I tried lol. Please please please review! Enough reviews might actually motivate me to get another part out before the end of the weekend. You guys should know that I've had a problem forever with keeping myself motivated enough to finish a story. I never knew how to get that motivation until I posted this story. Your reviews are what keep me writing. Otherwise, I never would've gotten this far. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, keep it up! And those of you who haven't yet, what better a time to start than now? Lol! Go review!