Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any characters related to J.K. Rowling's universe.
Authors note: Just to clarify, I'm not quite sure if I'm going to make this slash or not. I probably am, but maybe not as soon as I had originally thought. But if it is slash, it will be Remus/Harry. It will not be Harry/Snape or Harry/anyone else for that matter. On that note, this chapter does have many thoughts of the homosexual nature so if you don't like that kind of thing, I'm warning you now. However, the rating will not change for as long as I continue writing this fic. Anyway, onward we go…
Chapter 4: Unexpected Feelings
Holy shit, Remus! What are you thinking? What are you doing?
Lupin stared at the door where Harry had just run out, mentally kicking himself for what he had almost done.
He's only 16. He's your best friends' son for God's sake! How can you possibly be thinking about him like that?!
Somehow, when he and Harry were talking, Remus realized that he was attracted to the boy; something he would never have thought possible. He'd never been attracted to James like this. Hell, he'd never been attracted to anyone like this before, male or female. The feeling was so new to him that he didn't understand it at all; especially why he was having it for Harry; a person who, especially now, Remus should never, ever have been attracted to. Yet he felt the pull so strongly that he had almost kissed Harry then and there.
That wasn't even the wolf, either. It was just me. God! What if I had? What if I had kissed him? He would have been completely disgusted. He would have run straight away and I would have lost all that I had left. This has to stop. Now!
However, feelings like Remus had could not just be easily erased. He knew they would show themselves whenever he talked to Harry, whenever he looked at the boy, even whenever he thought about him. He couldn't have that. He couldn't do that to Harry, but he didn't know if he had the strength left to stop it.
Oh, God, I need a drink!
But Harry would be in the kitchen, and Remus didn't know if he could handle being in the same room with him right now, so he resigned himself to visiting Buckbeak for the time being; at least until he could get himself under control. He pounded his fist to his head as he approached the door to the hippogriff's room. After entering, he made the obligatory bow and Buckbeak returned the gesture as per usual. He then sat up expectantly dangling his tongue just a bit.
"Not yet. You know feeding time isn't for another three hours. Just sit your arse back down."
Looking just a little forlorn, the animal complied and Remus went up and started to pet him.
"I have a question for you, Buckbeak. Do you think Sirius would mind the fact that I'm attracted to his godson?"
Buckbeak gave Remus a reproachful look and backed away from his petting hand.
"I thought as much, but I can't help it. I've never felt like this before, ever. Not even with James or Sirius. I just don't know what to do."
"Why don't you just leave and rid everyone of your sickening presence, Lupin? That way you'd solve both our problems," a leering tone came from around the doorway.
"Why don't you just pull your head out of your ass and do the whole world a favor, Severus," Remus replied growling. He was definitely not in the mood to deal with Snape right now.
Maybe I should just hex him now and not deal with it, came Remus' uncharacteristic thought.
"So, our werewolf friend has fallen for the Potter boy," Snape continued, the nasty smile apparent in his voice. "Now what would his dearly departed friends think of that, snogging with their son? Oh, and I'm sure his incompetent excuse for a godfather would probably make quite a scene if he were still here. Of course, as stupid as he was, he might actually encourage that kind of behavior…"
"Quietus!" roared Lupin, his wand pointed straight at Snape's face. The potion master's voice was lost immediately as Remus advanced on him menacingly. Quickly, Snape tried to grab at his own wand, but Remus was too fast. "Expelliarmus!" he shouted, and then sent cords out of his wand to wrap around the other man. Snape fell to the floor and Lupin hovered directly over his face looking straight into his eyes.
"I," he heaved trying desperately to control his breathing as the wolf in him started to take over, "have…been…nothing…but kind…and understanding to you…Severus. However, I…am…about…to…lose it…completely. Do not insult my friends…my feelings…or anything else about me…because you…are no better…than me!"
At this, there was a loud pop and Remus disappeared completely leaving Snape still without his wand and still tied up in the cords. It was a while before anyone saw him again.
Another huge thanks to all those who reviewed.
Decided to cut this one short, but will be updating the next chapter much sooner.
Next chapter, Harry's side of the problem.