Title: This Tear
Author: SydGillyKC
Author's Note: Wow, sorry guys. I really did intend to have this out sooner. But life got in the way. Tennis, school, etc. Things have been incredibly stressful, but hopefully that will be over soon. I have a huge presentation on Monday, and then nothing huge schoolwise for a while I hope. And my tennis season ends fairly soon too. Then I just have to worry about graduation. So I hope to be able to get chapters out more frequently soon. We'll see. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
She suddenly realized that for the first time in the course of her illness, she was not only alone in experiencing it, but she was also truly alone. There was now no one by her side, holding her hand and offering comfort. She was going through this by herself now, fighting the disease entirely on her own. Though she'd spent more days than she could count countries, even continents away from Vaughn, she never felt further away from him than she did in that moment.
And she suddenly felt the isolation begin to set in.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 22: Distance
"We operated a few days ago. It's a minor procedure, just to put a shunt into her chest. That way, we can administer higher doses of the treatment without shutting down her veins. It should help," Dr. Anderson told Vaughn over the phone.
"Why do you need to give her higher doses?" Vaughn questioned.
"It's just a decision we made based on how she dealt with the original dose. We haven't run any tests yet. We won't be able to run any and get accurate results until after she's done with the cycle," Dr. Anderson explained.
"Any idea when that will be yet?" Vaughn asked.
"The cycles don't usually last longer than three weeks, and it's been what now? A little over two weeks, I believe. We'll probably give it another week or so."
Vaughn nodded despite knowing the doctor couldn't see him. "Will you tell her that her father e-mailed us the other day. He says that Dixon's making headway on his mission, but we don't know much yet because it's been hard for him to be able to get away long enough to meet with our agents. Hopefully we'll know more soon."
"I'll tell her," the doctor assured him.
"Thanks."
"I'd better get back. I have to monitor her treatment today. I'll call again soon," Dr. Anderson told him. Vaughn thanked him again before hanging up the phone. He sighed a and walked over to the table, dropping into one of the seats. It had been a long week. He hadn't talked to Sydney since their phone conversation over a week ago. He felt millions of miles away from her. Every day, the distance seemed to grow. He would occasionally get a message from Dr. Anderson along the lines of "She asked me to tell you that she's doing okay," but even those had slowly dissipated.
He found it ironic really. SD-6 had been the one thing that had kept them apart for so long. Recently, it had been the thing that brought them together. And now that they were seemingly worlds away from SD-6, it was something else that was keeping them apart. He hated feeling so distant from her, though he knew she was only a short drive away. He wasn't even allowed out of the house and she still wouldn't let Weiss come to the hospital. Vaughn was just relieved that it only had to last another week, barring anything unexpected. And though the unexpected did tend to follow them, he hoped this would be one thing that went according to plan.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Exactly a week later, the cycle ended. Two days after that, Sydney was allowed to return home. Dr. Anderson had stopped by the house that morning to drop off some equipment and medication she'd need. Vaughn and Weiss had spent the rest of the morning waiting in the main room for Sydney to arrive. It was just past noon when front door suddenly opened, surprising both of them. Dr. Anderson entered with Sydney, helping to support her as she walked. Vaughn couldn't help but be taken aback a bit at seeing her again for the first time in over three weeks. He was used to the pale color of her skin by now, but it was slightly hidden by the same mask on her face she'd worn before to ward away germs. Above the mask, her eyes looked tired. Though she was wearing a white T-shirt and loose gray sweatpants, he could see how impossibly thin she looked. Her every step, even with the doctor's help, seemed to be a struggle. The last three weeks had obviously taken their toll on her.
She looked up at him suddenly. He smiled at her, relieved to have her back. Her mouth was hidden by the mask, but he read her emotions from her eyes. There was a look in them that he didn't recognize. Before he had much time to think about it, though, he heard Weiss speak up.
"How was the drive back?" He asked.
"It was okay," the doctor replied before looking down at Sydney. "You should lie down, get some rest," he suggested to her. She nodded wordlessly, and Dr. Anderson turned to walk with her toward her room. Vaughn crossed the room in a few strides, walking over to Sydney's side.
"Let me," he requested, wrapping his arm around Sydney's waist. Dr. Anderson nodded and backed away, allowing Sydney to lean against Vaughn instead. Sydney allowed him to help her, but didn't look at him as she used him for support. Once down the hallway and into her room, she let go of him. She walked shakily over to the bed and sat down. Vaughn walked over and looked down at her for a second before kneeling in front of her.
"How are you?" He asked softly.
"I'm okay, just tired," she responded.
"Well get some rest. We can talk later," he assured her. She nodded without meeting his eyes and pushed herself onto the bed and underneath the covers. He leaned over her as she lay back, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. When he backed away, her eyes were closed. He waited a second, wondering if she'd re-open them. When she didn't, he reluctantly made his way out of the room and back into the main room.
He found Weiss and Dr. Anderson still standing near the door, talking. Vaughn walked over to join the conversation and both men turned to look at him.
"How is she?" Weiss asked.
"She says she's tired," Vaughn replied.
"Expectedly so," Dr. Anderson said. "The treatment's taken a lot out of her. She'll need some time to recover. The drugs are still in her system. They won't be completely flushed out for a while, which is partially why this treatment has proven to be effective in some cases. I'm going to give her another week before I bring her in for some testing. If the drugs are working, that'll only give her more time to improve."
"And if they're not?" Vaughn asked the dreaded question.
"Then we'll worry about that then. Right now she just needs some time to rest and recover. You have those pills I dropped off earlier. I want her to take one if she's feeling sick. You still have the pain medication you can give her. I left another oxygen tank should she need the mask for any reason. You should have everything you need. The mask she's wearing can come off tomorrow. It's just an extra precaution for the first 24 hours of being re-exposed to the world. You know where to reach me if there's anything you need. Otherwise I'll stop by tomorrow afternoon," Dr. Anderson told the two agents.
"Thanks, doctor," Weiss said.
"See you tomorrow," Vaughn told him. Dr. Anderson nodded at both of them and left. Vaughn turned and looked at Weiss.
"So what now?" Weiss asked. Vaughn shrugged. Weiss thought a moment. "Lunch?" He suggested after a brief silence.
"Sure," Vaughn agreed, following his friend into the kitchen.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sydney slept all through that day and night. She awoke early the next morning and grabbed a book, heading out to the main room. She turned the television on, keeping the volume low, and settled on the couch with her book. She managed to read a good fifty pages before hearing someone walk down the hall. She looked up and saw Vaughn walking into the room. He'd obviously just woken up, and she took advantage of the time before he noticed her to study him. Eventually, though, he looked over at her and smiled.
"Good morning. How'd you sleep?" He asked, walking over to her.
"Pretty well," she replied, refocusing on her book. He watched her for a moment.
"How's the book?" He asked.
"Starting to get interesting."
"Well, I'm going to make some breakfast. Want anything?"
"No, that's okay," she responded, not looking up from her book.
"You sure? You must not have eaten in a while."
"Yeah, I haven't really gotten my appetite back yet, but you go ahead."
"Okay," he said, sighing in defeat. He walked into the kitchen and rifled through the fridge to find a bagel. He found one and popped it in the toaster. He turned around and was about to ask Sydney if she was sure she didn't want anything when he saw Weiss enter the room.
"What are you making?" He asked immediately.
"Just a bagel," Vaughn replied.
"Pop another one in for me," Weiss requested.
"Yes sir," Vaughn joked, reopening the toaster to put another bagel in. "Hey, Syd!" He called out.
"Yes, Vaughn, I'm sure I don't want anything!" She called back, a hint of annoyance in her voice. Vaughn looked helplessly at Weiss, who simply smiled at him, finding the scene before him quite humorous. Vaughn waited until the bagels were done and then got two plates out. Placing a bagel on each plate, he carried them over to the table and sat down across from Weiss. He glanced over at Sydney, seeing that she was still reading.
"Oh, Syd, I almost forgot. Dr. Anderson said you could take that mask off today. He said it was just a precaution for the first day," Vaughn told her. That at least earned eye contact. She looked at him for a moment before reaching behind her head to pull the elastic over her head.
"Thanks," she said simply. Vaughn continued to eat, the room silent aside from the occasional turning of pages. He looked back over at Sydney a few moments later and was surprised to see that Sydney was no longer reading. Her book was now resting in her lap and she was using her fingers to massage her temples.
"You okay, Syd?" He asked immediately.
"I'm fine. It's just a bit of a headache," she replied. Vaughn was instantly out of his chair.
"Do you want some medication?" He asked, walking over to the couch.
"I have some pills in my room. I'll just take them and lie down for a while," she told him, pushing herself off the couch. She stood there a moment, looking unsure, before walking very slowly around the couch. Vaughn instantly saw that she was struggling for the strength to keep going.
"Let me help you," he insisted, walking closer to her.
"I'm not invalid, Vaughn," she told him, walking past him. He turned to watch her retreat. She only made it a few steps, though, before her knees buckled. He noticed immediately and rushed over to her side, wrapping his arm around her waist to support her. She looked at him, her expression angry.
"Let me help you, Syd," he repeated, softer this time. She didn't agree verbally, but he felt her body sag, leaning against him for support. He walked with her into her room. He walked over to the bed and reached out to the bed, drawing the covers down. She lowered herself into bed as he laid the covers back over the bottom half of her body.
"Where's your medicine?" He asked.
"I'm fine, really," she replied her eyes closed. "I just need to sleep for a little while."
"Stop saying you're fine, Syd. I can see you're in pain. Just take something," he pleaded with her.
"Please wake me when Dr. Anderson gets here," she requested, ignoring what Vaughn was saying. He sighed and reached down to run his fingers through her hair soothingly.
"Fine," he said, giving in. "Call me if you end up wanting that medication." She nodded at him before turning over onto her side, facing away from him. He left quickly, suddenly feeling like an invader. He walked back out into the main room and rejoined Weiss at the table.
"Is she okay?" Weiss asked.
"She's being stubborn," Vaughn replied.
"She probably needs a little time. I'm sure it's been a long three weeks for her too," Weiss reminded him.
"No, there's something else. She doesn't seem to be acting quite like herself," Vaughn insisted
"I think you're reading too much into it. Just give her a few days," Weiss suggested. Vaughn nodded, knowing in his heart that a few days wouldn't change anything. Something had changed in Sydney since he'd seen her last. Whatever she'd experienced in the last three weeks had really affected her. For the entire course of her new treatment, he'd worried and wished she would come home.
And now that she was, he felt farther away from her than ever.
To be continued.
A/N: Sorry guys, it's kind of a short and depressing chapter. But once again, it's essential for what's coming. I'm going to try to work on the next chapter tomorrow. I was going to try to get a little further and leave the ending on a different note, but I'm very much falling asleep. So for those of you reading this at SD-1, I'm sorry, but I really need to get to bed and won't be PMing any of you tonight. I'll try to tomorrow. Sorry! I hope you find this nonetheless and I hope you enjoyed it! Keep reviewing! I need them right now, trust me.
Author: SydGillyKC
Author's Note: Wow, sorry guys. I really did intend to have this out sooner. But life got in the way. Tennis, school, etc. Things have been incredibly stressful, but hopefully that will be over soon. I have a huge presentation on Monday, and then nothing huge schoolwise for a while I hope. And my tennis season ends fairly soon too. Then I just have to worry about graduation. So I hope to be able to get chapters out more frequently soon. We'll see. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
She suddenly realized that for the first time in the course of her illness, she was not only alone in experiencing it, but she was also truly alone. There was now no one by her side, holding her hand and offering comfort. She was going through this by herself now, fighting the disease entirely on her own. Though she'd spent more days than she could count countries, even continents away from Vaughn, she never felt further away from him than she did in that moment.
And she suddenly felt the isolation begin to set in.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 22: Distance
"We operated a few days ago. It's a minor procedure, just to put a shunt into her chest. That way, we can administer higher doses of the treatment without shutting down her veins. It should help," Dr. Anderson told Vaughn over the phone.
"Why do you need to give her higher doses?" Vaughn questioned.
"It's just a decision we made based on how she dealt with the original dose. We haven't run any tests yet. We won't be able to run any and get accurate results until after she's done with the cycle," Dr. Anderson explained.
"Any idea when that will be yet?" Vaughn asked.
"The cycles don't usually last longer than three weeks, and it's been what now? A little over two weeks, I believe. We'll probably give it another week or so."
Vaughn nodded despite knowing the doctor couldn't see him. "Will you tell her that her father e-mailed us the other day. He says that Dixon's making headway on his mission, but we don't know much yet because it's been hard for him to be able to get away long enough to meet with our agents. Hopefully we'll know more soon."
"I'll tell her," the doctor assured him.
"Thanks."
"I'd better get back. I have to monitor her treatment today. I'll call again soon," Dr. Anderson told him. Vaughn thanked him again before hanging up the phone. He sighed a and walked over to the table, dropping into one of the seats. It had been a long week. He hadn't talked to Sydney since their phone conversation over a week ago. He felt millions of miles away from her. Every day, the distance seemed to grow. He would occasionally get a message from Dr. Anderson along the lines of "She asked me to tell you that she's doing okay," but even those had slowly dissipated.
He found it ironic really. SD-6 had been the one thing that had kept them apart for so long. Recently, it had been the thing that brought them together. And now that they were seemingly worlds away from SD-6, it was something else that was keeping them apart. He hated feeling so distant from her, though he knew she was only a short drive away. He wasn't even allowed out of the house and she still wouldn't let Weiss come to the hospital. Vaughn was just relieved that it only had to last another week, barring anything unexpected. And though the unexpected did tend to follow them, he hoped this would be one thing that went according to plan.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Exactly a week later, the cycle ended. Two days after that, Sydney was allowed to return home. Dr. Anderson had stopped by the house that morning to drop off some equipment and medication she'd need. Vaughn and Weiss had spent the rest of the morning waiting in the main room for Sydney to arrive. It was just past noon when front door suddenly opened, surprising both of them. Dr. Anderson entered with Sydney, helping to support her as she walked. Vaughn couldn't help but be taken aback a bit at seeing her again for the first time in over three weeks. He was used to the pale color of her skin by now, but it was slightly hidden by the same mask on her face she'd worn before to ward away germs. Above the mask, her eyes looked tired. Though she was wearing a white T-shirt and loose gray sweatpants, he could see how impossibly thin she looked. Her every step, even with the doctor's help, seemed to be a struggle. The last three weeks had obviously taken their toll on her.
She looked up at him suddenly. He smiled at her, relieved to have her back. Her mouth was hidden by the mask, but he read her emotions from her eyes. There was a look in them that he didn't recognize. Before he had much time to think about it, though, he heard Weiss speak up.
"How was the drive back?" He asked.
"It was okay," the doctor replied before looking down at Sydney. "You should lie down, get some rest," he suggested to her. She nodded wordlessly, and Dr. Anderson turned to walk with her toward her room. Vaughn crossed the room in a few strides, walking over to Sydney's side.
"Let me," he requested, wrapping his arm around Sydney's waist. Dr. Anderson nodded and backed away, allowing Sydney to lean against Vaughn instead. Sydney allowed him to help her, but didn't look at him as she used him for support. Once down the hallway and into her room, she let go of him. She walked shakily over to the bed and sat down. Vaughn walked over and looked down at her for a second before kneeling in front of her.
"How are you?" He asked softly.
"I'm okay, just tired," she responded.
"Well get some rest. We can talk later," he assured her. She nodded without meeting his eyes and pushed herself onto the bed and underneath the covers. He leaned over her as she lay back, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. When he backed away, her eyes were closed. He waited a second, wondering if she'd re-open them. When she didn't, he reluctantly made his way out of the room and back into the main room.
He found Weiss and Dr. Anderson still standing near the door, talking. Vaughn walked over to join the conversation and both men turned to look at him.
"How is she?" Weiss asked.
"She says she's tired," Vaughn replied.
"Expectedly so," Dr. Anderson said. "The treatment's taken a lot out of her. She'll need some time to recover. The drugs are still in her system. They won't be completely flushed out for a while, which is partially why this treatment has proven to be effective in some cases. I'm going to give her another week before I bring her in for some testing. If the drugs are working, that'll only give her more time to improve."
"And if they're not?" Vaughn asked the dreaded question.
"Then we'll worry about that then. Right now she just needs some time to rest and recover. You have those pills I dropped off earlier. I want her to take one if she's feeling sick. You still have the pain medication you can give her. I left another oxygen tank should she need the mask for any reason. You should have everything you need. The mask she's wearing can come off tomorrow. It's just an extra precaution for the first 24 hours of being re-exposed to the world. You know where to reach me if there's anything you need. Otherwise I'll stop by tomorrow afternoon," Dr. Anderson told the two agents.
"Thanks, doctor," Weiss said.
"See you tomorrow," Vaughn told him. Dr. Anderson nodded at both of them and left. Vaughn turned and looked at Weiss.
"So what now?" Weiss asked. Vaughn shrugged. Weiss thought a moment. "Lunch?" He suggested after a brief silence.
"Sure," Vaughn agreed, following his friend into the kitchen.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sydney slept all through that day and night. She awoke early the next morning and grabbed a book, heading out to the main room. She turned the television on, keeping the volume low, and settled on the couch with her book. She managed to read a good fifty pages before hearing someone walk down the hall. She looked up and saw Vaughn walking into the room. He'd obviously just woken up, and she took advantage of the time before he noticed her to study him. Eventually, though, he looked over at her and smiled.
"Good morning. How'd you sleep?" He asked, walking over to her.
"Pretty well," she replied, refocusing on her book. He watched her for a moment.
"How's the book?" He asked.
"Starting to get interesting."
"Well, I'm going to make some breakfast. Want anything?"
"No, that's okay," she responded, not looking up from her book.
"You sure? You must not have eaten in a while."
"Yeah, I haven't really gotten my appetite back yet, but you go ahead."
"Okay," he said, sighing in defeat. He walked into the kitchen and rifled through the fridge to find a bagel. He found one and popped it in the toaster. He turned around and was about to ask Sydney if she was sure she didn't want anything when he saw Weiss enter the room.
"What are you making?" He asked immediately.
"Just a bagel," Vaughn replied.
"Pop another one in for me," Weiss requested.
"Yes sir," Vaughn joked, reopening the toaster to put another bagel in. "Hey, Syd!" He called out.
"Yes, Vaughn, I'm sure I don't want anything!" She called back, a hint of annoyance in her voice. Vaughn looked helplessly at Weiss, who simply smiled at him, finding the scene before him quite humorous. Vaughn waited until the bagels were done and then got two plates out. Placing a bagel on each plate, he carried them over to the table and sat down across from Weiss. He glanced over at Sydney, seeing that she was still reading.
"Oh, Syd, I almost forgot. Dr. Anderson said you could take that mask off today. He said it was just a precaution for the first day," Vaughn told her. That at least earned eye contact. She looked at him for a moment before reaching behind her head to pull the elastic over her head.
"Thanks," she said simply. Vaughn continued to eat, the room silent aside from the occasional turning of pages. He looked back over at Sydney a few moments later and was surprised to see that Sydney was no longer reading. Her book was now resting in her lap and she was using her fingers to massage her temples.
"You okay, Syd?" He asked immediately.
"I'm fine. It's just a bit of a headache," she replied. Vaughn was instantly out of his chair.
"Do you want some medication?" He asked, walking over to the couch.
"I have some pills in my room. I'll just take them and lie down for a while," she told him, pushing herself off the couch. She stood there a moment, looking unsure, before walking very slowly around the couch. Vaughn instantly saw that she was struggling for the strength to keep going.
"Let me help you," he insisted, walking closer to her.
"I'm not invalid, Vaughn," she told him, walking past him. He turned to watch her retreat. She only made it a few steps, though, before her knees buckled. He noticed immediately and rushed over to her side, wrapping his arm around her waist to support her. She looked at him, her expression angry.
"Let me help you, Syd," he repeated, softer this time. She didn't agree verbally, but he felt her body sag, leaning against him for support. He walked with her into her room. He walked over to the bed and reached out to the bed, drawing the covers down. She lowered herself into bed as he laid the covers back over the bottom half of her body.
"Where's your medicine?" He asked.
"I'm fine, really," she replied her eyes closed. "I just need to sleep for a little while."
"Stop saying you're fine, Syd. I can see you're in pain. Just take something," he pleaded with her.
"Please wake me when Dr. Anderson gets here," she requested, ignoring what Vaughn was saying. He sighed and reached down to run his fingers through her hair soothingly.
"Fine," he said, giving in. "Call me if you end up wanting that medication." She nodded at him before turning over onto her side, facing away from him. He left quickly, suddenly feeling like an invader. He walked back out into the main room and rejoined Weiss at the table.
"Is she okay?" Weiss asked.
"She's being stubborn," Vaughn replied.
"She probably needs a little time. I'm sure it's been a long three weeks for her too," Weiss reminded him.
"No, there's something else. She doesn't seem to be acting quite like herself," Vaughn insisted
"I think you're reading too much into it. Just give her a few days," Weiss suggested. Vaughn nodded, knowing in his heart that a few days wouldn't change anything. Something had changed in Sydney since he'd seen her last. Whatever she'd experienced in the last three weeks had really affected her. For the entire course of her new treatment, he'd worried and wished she would come home.
And now that she was, he felt farther away from her than ever.
To be continued.
A/N: Sorry guys, it's kind of a short and depressing chapter. But once again, it's essential for what's coming. I'm going to try to work on the next chapter tomorrow. I was going to try to get a little further and leave the ending on a different note, but I'm very much falling asleep. So for those of you reading this at SD-1, I'm sorry, but I really need to get to bed and won't be PMing any of you tonight. I'll try to tomorrow. Sorry! I hope you find this nonetheless and I hope you enjoyed it! Keep reviewing! I need them right now, trust me.