-Epilogue-
Disclaimers in chapter 1
A/N: As a rule, I don't try to force stories past their original conclusion (or non-conclusion as the case may be). When I write "end" or "fin" it's because, as far as my muse is concerned, the story is done. However, this chapter is a special request.
This will not be to everyone's taste, but it's the best my muse could come up with to push a story past it's original ending.
If you prefer to let your imagination finish the story, read no further. If you really need resolution of some sort, then for better or worse, I give you the rest of the story.
=== === ===
"Grissom?"
Before he could respond, the sound of the shop door opening caused them to hurriedly step apart. The police officer poked his head around the door. "You guys going to be here awhile? I was told not to leave the scene, but..."
Grissom looked at him. "It's okay. Just give us another 10 or 15 minutes to wrap this up. We're pretty much finished." Once the door was closed, Grissom looked back at Sara. "And just when we were getting started, hmm?" He winked and moved back to the collectibles room.
Shock rendered Sara both mute and immobile. He winked? What the hell was going on? She wondered briefly if perhaps she had been the one to fall and was suffering some sort of hallucination.
"Sara? You mentioned something about fibers on the latch and then didn't finish about what else you found. Is this blood on the glass fragments?"
Slowly making her way toward Grissom, Sara tried to refocus on the case they were working. "Uh...yeah...I was about to bag it for DNA when you...I..." she gestured vaguely toward the other room, hating her sudden inability to form a coherent sentence.
"When I lost my marbles?"
"I thought you said you'd found them?" she shot back. Picking up her now- closed kit.
"So I did. Shall we?" he asked, gesturing her to walk ahead of him.
Leaving the officer to secure the building, they walked back to their vehicle in silence and stored their gear in the back. As Sara began to pull open the passenger door a hand reached past her and pushed the door closed again. Sara waited for Grissom to say something, but he remained silent until she turned to look at him.
"This is neither the time or place for this," he said gently.
Sara gave him a ghost of a smile. "As far as I can tell, there is no right time or place." She turned away to open the door, but Grissom reached around her and opened it for her.
"The right time is after shift this morning," he said, causing Sara's heart to start pounding. "As for the right place...we could go to your place, or you could come to mine and I'll cook breakfast. Or we could have takeout from the diner and find a neutral place that's private."
"The time sounds right. Can I let you know about the place?" Sara looked at Grissom and was caught by surprise at the warmth and understanding she saw in his eyes.
"Of course. Lady's choice." He winked at her as he closed the door, leaving Sara with the same reaction as the last time he winked – confusion. It was a very quiet ride back to the lab as Sara pondered his out of character behavior.
--- --- ---
The shift ended much later than planned. Two new cases, an interrogation and a mountain of evidence kept everyone late. By 10 o'clock, however, most of the night shift had managed to get home, leaving only two weary souls still in the lab. Sara paused at the entrance to the break room and tried to decide whether she wanted yet more caffeine or if she just wanted sleep. Before she could make up her mind, her pager went off. "Now what," she groaned.
'It's time. Place? G'
How could she have forgotten? She hesitated over her response, admitting to herself that she was surprised that he was still willing to do this. Putting her pager back in her pocket, Sara decided to find Grissom rather than page him.
She found him locking up his office. "Hey. Message for you. See you later."
Grissom watched bemused as she walked away. Glancing at the note, he smiled slightly.
Fountain at Austen Park in 1 hour.
Mushroom omelet, rye toast, orange juice and coffee.
Grissom glanced at his watch. Perfect. He had just enough time to change clothes, run an errand and pick up breakfast. As he unlocked his car he phoned the diner to place his order.
One hour and 15 minutes later Grissom stood near the fountain at Austen Park. He tried to remain calm as he looked for Sara, but he was starting to panic. He took longer than expected and was afraid Sara had already left thinking she'd been stood up.
"Lose your marbles again?" Grissom turned quickly, relieved to see Sara standing a few feet away. And equally relieved that she did not seem upset at his tardiness.
"Sara. I apologize for...being...late..." Grissom's voice trailed off as Sara turned and walked away.
She turned, walking backward, and asked. "Coming?" Then spinning around continued on until she was almost out of sight. Grissom quickened his pace to a near-jog to catch up with her.
By the time he caught up with her, Sara was sitting on a blanket in a private alcove created by some bushes. "This seemed like the right place," she said, reaching for the bags in his hands.
They unpacked breakfast and ate in near silence with only the occasional impersonal comment or observation to distract them. Finally, their meal over, the silence weighed even heavier. Neither was quite sure where to begin.
Sara sighed, setting aside her juice bottle, and leaned back on the blanket, eyes fixed on a few stray clouds passing by. "God, Grissom, I have so many unanswered 'why's."
Grissom's eyes closed briefly as memories washed through him. He had uttered those very words to her a little over four years ago. Things had seemed so much less complicated then. They were less complicated. With a sigh, he leaned back, stretching out on the blanket beside Sara. "You're not alone. I can probably match you question for question."
The silence between stretched out, broken only by the background sounds of the park.
"Why did you really ask me to come to Las Vegas?" she asked.
"Why did you drop everything and come?" he replied.
"Why did you ask me to stay?"
"Why did you?"
"Why did you flirt and then run away when I responded?"
"Why did you go out with that idiot?" Grissom turned his head toward Sara. "I never said it, but I am sorry he hurt you."
Sara closed her eyes, trying unsuccessfully to keep the tears from spilling over. "Why did you hate me?" She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat
"Sara!" Grissom rolled toward her, shock written clearly in his posture and facial expression. "My God, Sara, I have never hated you. Never!" he said vehemently reaching for her hand as she wiped away her tears. "Honey, I swear to you – please don't cry. I'm not worth it."
She blinked and looked over at him as he pressed her palm to his lips.
"Of all the things I have felt for you, hate has never been one of them."
"Help me, Grissom," she pleaded softly. "It's the not knowing that I can't handle."
He bit his lip, then sighed. Rolling onto his back, he kept hold of Sara's hand. Sara rolled to her side, propping herself up on her elbow – their positions the reverse of just moments ago.
With eyes fixed on drifting wisps above, he spoke hesitantly. , Sara."
"I know. You've told me. You don't know what to do about this and..."
"I lied."
"What?"
"I lied. I knew-know what to do."
"Then..."
"It was so much less complicated at first. You were a consultant of sorts and I was just a fill-in supervisor. And it was so good to have you here. I'd missed you so much. Everything we had before just kept...growing and changing and there was so much promise." Grissom stopped, lost in memories of their first months – years – working together.
"What happened?" she coaxed quietly.
"I'm honestly not sure. It all happened so gradually and...it all made sense at the time..." His words hesitant, he told her about his conversation with the sheriff and the warning about supervisor-employee relationships and inter-office affairs. He talked about the stresses of the position and the frustrations of being office-bound instead of doing research and experiments. He talked about feeling lost as Sara settled in and made a life for herself without his help. He talked about his hearing and his fears that if their relationship were allowed to develop Sara would find herself chained to an old man.
Sara gently squeezed his hand at that last revelation, silently letting him know she was listening. In raising his hand to her cheek, she let him know he was wrong. Grissom looked at her for a moment before resuming his study of the sky.
With a sigh he began to explain as best he could about the revelations of the past year: how he had missed her, how he mourned for the time he had thrown away, how he was afraid of finding out it really was too late. He turned his head toward her and told her how desperately he wanted to turn back the clock to a time when their relationship was not so muddled and complicated.
He talked more than he had in years. Once he started to open up to Sara it became easier, but only as long as he was not looking directly at her. The fear of what he might see in her eyes ensured he kept his attention focused on the clouds above. But she didn't pull away; her hand continued to clasp his. And that gave him hope.
"I guess it all comes down to a final question, Sara. Is it too late? Is it too late for me to...woo you?"
Sara held his gaze for a moment then looked away. "It's taken me a long time to get myself together, Grissom. To tell you the truth I'm afraid to try, afraid of being torn apart again, afraid I won't be able to heal again." Shifting her position slightly she rested her head on her arm.
Grissom turned on his side, mirroring her position. "All I'm asking is that you let me try. Is that so much?"
"If you pull back again and push me away, then yes it's too much."
"How can I convince you I'm serious? Sara, please, don't shut me out."
"What has changed? I mean, really. Our situation hasn't changed and all the things that made you turn away – turn me away are still there."
Grissom was quiet for a moment. Then he reached into the pocket of his discarded jacket and pulled out a small bag. "Maybe this will help," he said handing her the bag.
Sara sat up, carefully opening the package, surprised by the weight of it. Inside the bag was a square box wrapped in colorful paper. Flicking a glance at Grissom, she carefully peeled off the paper to discover a glass box filled with... "Marbles?"
Grissom sat up. "Remember at the toy boutique I said I'd found my marbles? Well, I was speaking metaphorically of course. But it occurred to me that you might need something tangible. Actually, I might need something tangible." He laughed as he reached for the marbles.
"What are you suggesting?" she asked.
"I am aware – painfully – that I tend to...withdraw when I feel threatened or insecure."
"I noticed."
"Shush. In effect, I tend to lose my uh...my marbles." Grissom grinned when Sara chuckled. "As desperately as I want to promise you it will never happen..."
"I know. You can't. And that's okay. Really. It's part of..."
"It's part of me, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm locked into it that pattern." Grissom placed the marbles in her hand, which he cradled in both of his. "So here's the deal. If I start to act like I've...lost my marbles again, give me one of these. Just hand it to me, or leave it on my desk or...whatever."
Sara was doubtful. "Just like that?"
"Just like that. If it does nothing else, it will remind me of today – and my promise to you." He kissed her hand. "My promise to try. Is that enough, Sara?"
Sara bowed her head. He was asking a lot. She was tired of feeling rejected and inadequate. But she also still had feelings for Grissom – feelings that would not go away no matter how hard she wished. She looked up at him. He gaze was steady, his expression sincere and hope-filled. Looking down at the box of marbles, she wondered if maybe there was a chance after all.
Meeting his eyes she said, "Don't screw this up."
"Believe me, Sara, I am highly motivated." Leaning toward her he lightly brushed his lips against hers. There was nothing sexual in the kiss; it was a simple promise and a gesture of reverence combined. Sitting back they looked at one another in wonder. Their budding relationship would not be easy, but both were certain it would be worth the effort.
Grissom suddenly grinned. Eyes twinkling he asked "Sara, may I ask you a very personal question?"
"Uh...okay."
Whispering in her ear, he asked, "What swimsuit did you buy for the pool party?"
Laughter rang out from the little hiding place in the park, followed by silence and then the hushed conversation of two people falling in love.
-end - fin - done -
Disclaimers in chapter 1
A/N: As a rule, I don't try to force stories past their original conclusion (or non-conclusion as the case may be). When I write "end" or "fin" it's because, as far as my muse is concerned, the story is done. However, this chapter is a special request.
This will not be to everyone's taste, but it's the best my muse could come up with to push a story past it's original ending.
If you prefer to let your imagination finish the story, read no further. If you really need resolution of some sort, then for better or worse, I give you the rest of the story.
=== === ===
"Grissom?"
Before he could respond, the sound of the shop door opening caused them to hurriedly step apart. The police officer poked his head around the door. "You guys going to be here awhile? I was told not to leave the scene, but..."
Grissom looked at him. "It's okay. Just give us another 10 or 15 minutes to wrap this up. We're pretty much finished." Once the door was closed, Grissom looked back at Sara. "And just when we were getting started, hmm?" He winked and moved back to the collectibles room.
Shock rendered Sara both mute and immobile. He winked? What the hell was going on? She wondered briefly if perhaps she had been the one to fall and was suffering some sort of hallucination.
"Sara? You mentioned something about fibers on the latch and then didn't finish about what else you found. Is this blood on the glass fragments?"
Slowly making her way toward Grissom, Sara tried to refocus on the case they were working. "Uh...yeah...I was about to bag it for DNA when you...I..." she gestured vaguely toward the other room, hating her sudden inability to form a coherent sentence.
"When I lost my marbles?"
"I thought you said you'd found them?" she shot back. Picking up her now- closed kit.
"So I did. Shall we?" he asked, gesturing her to walk ahead of him.
Leaving the officer to secure the building, they walked back to their vehicle in silence and stored their gear in the back. As Sara began to pull open the passenger door a hand reached past her and pushed the door closed again. Sara waited for Grissom to say something, but he remained silent until she turned to look at him.
"This is neither the time or place for this," he said gently.
Sara gave him a ghost of a smile. "As far as I can tell, there is no right time or place." She turned away to open the door, but Grissom reached around her and opened it for her.
"The right time is after shift this morning," he said, causing Sara's heart to start pounding. "As for the right place...we could go to your place, or you could come to mine and I'll cook breakfast. Or we could have takeout from the diner and find a neutral place that's private."
"The time sounds right. Can I let you know about the place?" Sara looked at Grissom and was caught by surprise at the warmth and understanding she saw in his eyes.
"Of course. Lady's choice." He winked at her as he closed the door, leaving Sara with the same reaction as the last time he winked – confusion. It was a very quiet ride back to the lab as Sara pondered his out of character behavior.
--- --- ---
The shift ended much later than planned. Two new cases, an interrogation and a mountain of evidence kept everyone late. By 10 o'clock, however, most of the night shift had managed to get home, leaving only two weary souls still in the lab. Sara paused at the entrance to the break room and tried to decide whether she wanted yet more caffeine or if she just wanted sleep. Before she could make up her mind, her pager went off. "Now what," she groaned.
'It's time. Place? G'
How could she have forgotten? She hesitated over her response, admitting to herself that she was surprised that he was still willing to do this. Putting her pager back in her pocket, Sara decided to find Grissom rather than page him.
She found him locking up his office. "Hey. Message for you. See you later."
Grissom watched bemused as she walked away. Glancing at the note, he smiled slightly.
Fountain at Austen Park in 1 hour.
Mushroom omelet, rye toast, orange juice and coffee.
Grissom glanced at his watch. Perfect. He had just enough time to change clothes, run an errand and pick up breakfast. As he unlocked his car he phoned the diner to place his order.
One hour and 15 minutes later Grissom stood near the fountain at Austen Park. He tried to remain calm as he looked for Sara, but he was starting to panic. He took longer than expected and was afraid Sara had already left thinking she'd been stood up.
"Lose your marbles again?" Grissom turned quickly, relieved to see Sara standing a few feet away. And equally relieved that she did not seem upset at his tardiness.
"Sara. I apologize for...being...late..." Grissom's voice trailed off as Sara turned and walked away.
She turned, walking backward, and asked. "Coming?" Then spinning around continued on until she was almost out of sight. Grissom quickened his pace to a near-jog to catch up with her.
By the time he caught up with her, Sara was sitting on a blanket in a private alcove created by some bushes. "This seemed like the right place," she said, reaching for the bags in his hands.
They unpacked breakfast and ate in near silence with only the occasional impersonal comment or observation to distract them. Finally, their meal over, the silence weighed even heavier. Neither was quite sure where to begin.
Sara sighed, setting aside her juice bottle, and leaned back on the blanket, eyes fixed on a few stray clouds passing by. "God, Grissom, I have so many unanswered 'why's."
Grissom's eyes closed briefly as memories washed through him. He had uttered those very words to her a little over four years ago. Things had seemed so much less complicated then. They were less complicated. With a sigh, he leaned back, stretching out on the blanket beside Sara. "You're not alone. I can probably match you question for question."
The silence between stretched out, broken only by the background sounds of the park.
"Why did you really ask me to come to Las Vegas?" she asked.
"Why did you drop everything and come?" he replied.
"Why did you ask me to stay?"
"Why did you?"
"Why did you flirt and then run away when I responded?"
"Why did you go out with that idiot?" Grissom turned his head toward Sara. "I never said it, but I am sorry he hurt you."
Sara closed her eyes, trying unsuccessfully to keep the tears from spilling over. "Why did you hate me?" She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat
"Sara!" Grissom rolled toward her, shock written clearly in his posture and facial expression. "My God, Sara, I have never hated you. Never!" he said vehemently reaching for her hand as she wiped away her tears. "Honey, I swear to you – please don't cry. I'm not worth it."
She blinked and looked over at him as he pressed her palm to his lips.
"Of all the things I have felt for you, hate has never been one of them."
"Help me, Grissom," she pleaded softly. "It's the not knowing that I can't handle."
He bit his lip, then sighed. Rolling onto his back, he kept hold of Sara's hand. Sara rolled to her side, propping herself up on her elbow – their positions the reverse of just moments ago.
With eyes fixed on drifting wisps above, he spoke hesitantly. , Sara."
"I know. You've told me. You don't know what to do about this and..."
"I lied."
"What?"
"I lied. I knew-know what to do."
"Then..."
"It was so much less complicated at first. You were a consultant of sorts and I was just a fill-in supervisor. And it was so good to have you here. I'd missed you so much. Everything we had before just kept...growing and changing and there was so much promise." Grissom stopped, lost in memories of their first months – years – working together.
"What happened?" she coaxed quietly.
"I'm honestly not sure. It all happened so gradually and...it all made sense at the time..." His words hesitant, he told her about his conversation with the sheriff and the warning about supervisor-employee relationships and inter-office affairs. He talked about the stresses of the position and the frustrations of being office-bound instead of doing research and experiments. He talked about feeling lost as Sara settled in and made a life for herself without his help. He talked about his hearing and his fears that if their relationship were allowed to develop Sara would find herself chained to an old man.
Sara gently squeezed his hand at that last revelation, silently letting him know she was listening. In raising his hand to her cheek, she let him know he was wrong. Grissom looked at her for a moment before resuming his study of the sky.
With a sigh he began to explain as best he could about the revelations of the past year: how he had missed her, how he mourned for the time he had thrown away, how he was afraid of finding out it really was too late. He turned his head toward her and told her how desperately he wanted to turn back the clock to a time when their relationship was not so muddled and complicated.
He talked more than he had in years. Once he started to open up to Sara it became easier, but only as long as he was not looking directly at her. The fear of what he might see in her eyes ensured he kept his attention focused on the clouds above. But she didn't pull away; her hand continued to clasp his. And that gave him hope.
"I guess it all comes down to a final question, Sara. Is it too late? Is it too late for me to...woo you?"
Sara held his gaze for a moment then looked away. "It's taken me a long time to get myself together, Grissom. To tell you the truth I'm afraid to try, afraid of being torn apart again, afraid I won't be able to heal again." Shifting her position slightly she rested her head on her arm.
Grissom turned on his side, mirroring her position. "All I'm asking is that you let me try. Is that so much?"
"If you pull back again and push me away, then yes it's too much."
"How can I convince you I'm serious? Sara, please, don't shut me out."
"What has changed? I mean, really. Our situation hasn't changed and all the things that made you turn away – turn me away are still there."
Grissom was quiet for a moment. Then he reached into the pocket of his discarded jacket and pulled out a small bag. "Maybe this will help," he said handing her the bag.
Sara sat up, carefully opening the package, surprised by the weight of it. Inside the bag was a square box wrapped in colorful paper. Flicking a glance at Grissom, she carefully peeled off the paper to discover a glass box filled with... "Marbles?"
Grissom sat up. "Remember at the toy boutique I said I'd found my marbles? Well, I was speaking metaphorically of course. But it occurred to me that you might need something tangible. Actually, I might need something tangible." He laughed as he reached for the marbles.
"What are you suggesting?" she asked.
"I am aware – painfully – that I tend to...withdraw when I feel threatened or insecure."
"I noticed."
"Shush. In effect, I tend to lose my uh...my marbles." Grissom grinned when Sara chuckled. "As desperately as I want to promise you it will never happen..."
"I know. You can't. And that's okay. Really. It's part of..."
"It's part of me, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm locked into it that pattern." Grissom placed the marbles in her hand, which he cradled in both of his. "So here's the deal. If I start to act like I've...lost my marbles again, give me one of these. Just hand it to me, or leave it on my desk or...whatever."
Sara was doubtful. "Just like that?"
"Just like that. If it does nothing else, it will remind me of today – and my promise to you." He kissed her hand. "My promise to try. Is that enough, Sara?"
Sara bowed her head. He was asking a lot. She was tired of feeling rejected and inadequate. But she also still had feelings for Grissom – feelings that would not go away no matter how hard she wished. She looked up at him. He gaze was steady, his expression sincere and hope-filled. Looking down at the box of marbles, she wondered if maybe there was a chance after all.
Meeting his eyes she said, "Don't screw this up."
"Believe me, Sara, I am highly motivated." Leaning toward her he lightly brushed his lips against hers. There was nothing sexual in the kiss; it was a simple promise and a gesture of reverence combined. Sitting back they looked at one another in wonder. Their budding relationship would not be easy, but both were certain it would be worth the effort.
Grissom suddenly grinned. Eyes twinkling he asked "Sara, may I ask you a very personal question?"
"Uh...okay."
Whispering in her ear, he asked, "What swimsuit did you buy for the pool party?"
Laughter rang out from the little hiding place in the park, followed by silence and then the hushed conversation of two people falling in love.
-end - fin - done -