Title: This Tear
Author: SydGillyKC
Author's Note: Well, this is my first chapter from the west coast! It still feels weird to say that lol. It took me a few days to really get settled here and get the internet working and get my computer working and everything, so I'm sorry for the wait. It just couldn't be helped. I actually had this chapter done a few days ago, but my internet hasn't been great here. It just goes on and off and I haven't been able to get on AOL at all. So hopefully it'll get better. It doesn't seem like I'll be horribly busy this next month, so I'll hopefully be able to update regularly, but I am going on auditions whenever they come up. And since one of them took me into Burbank, I made sure to drive by the Disney lot and cheer at the big "Alias" poster hehehe. Anyway, aside from the Jack phone call, I'm really just writing this chapter as I go along, so bear with me. I hope you like it!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
They were inextricably linked, soul-mates in the truest way. Feeling her warm and alive in his arms now, Vaughn couldn't imagine his life without her in it. She'd become his life. He'd shared every dream she'd revealed from her list. He'd shared her mission, her life, and her love.
But no matter how much he'd shared with her in the past, he could not share her death.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 27: Assurances
Weiss returned with the video-phone that evening. They set it up easily and had an hour until the scheduled call. After a rushed, quiet dinner between the three, Sydney found herself sitting in her room, pondering what on earth she was going to say to her father. She tried to imagine how she'd react if he was emotional. The last time she could remember him being openly emotional about anything was over two decades ago. The time of her mother's supposed death. But when he'd returned from being investigated, which she now knew was where he disappeared to, he'd donned a mask that hid any trace of emotion. He'd seemed to keep that mask all the years since then, letting it crack only slightly over the past few years.
"Nervous?" She heard Vaughn ask from the doorway. She turned quickly to look at him. He looked hesitant, unsure of whether she wanted him there or not.
"A little," she admitted. "I don't really know what I'm going to say."
Vaughn finally entered the room and came to sit beside her on the bed. "It's not going to matter what you say, really. He's your father. He'll just be glad to talk to you, to look at you."
"I wish he couldn't see me," Sydney said so softly, Vaughn almost didn't hear it.
"What? Why not?" Vaughn asked, confused. She looked up at him sharply.
"Look at me, Vaughn. He hasn't seen me for months, since before I'd gone through all the experimental treatments and the surgery and the isolation. I hardly recognize myself anymore. I look like a ghost," she finished in a whisper, looking at the floor. Vaughn reached out, laying his hand under her chin, forcing her eyes back to his. He took a moment to study her, knowing what he said next had to be completely truthful. She'd know otherwise. He had to admit she was right in saying she'd changed. Though she'd gained back some weight, she was still much thinner than before. Her skin was paler, her face not as rosy. Her eyes looked much bigger on her face now, framed by light circles underneath. Even her voice was a little softer than it had been before. There was no doubt that cancer had left its distinct mark on Sydney Bristow. But for all that had changed in her, there were twice as many things that hadn't. And it was those things that made her Sydney.
"Syd, you are the same woman you've always been. The same woman I met with bright red hair and a swollen lip. The same woman I assigned counter- mission after counter-mission to. Sure, you may have lost a few pounds, but you've always been thin. Sure you may be a little paler, but you've always had a pale complexion. In the ways that matter, you haven't changed a bit. You're still beautiful. I still love looking at you." He smiled. She did too. He realized suddenly that these moments of weakness he'd seen so rarely in her only served to remind him of her strong she truly was. He knew she'd be okay.
"Come on, you've got about ten more minutes. Let's go sit out there until he calls," he suggested, standing up and facing her. She nodded. He took her hand and helped her up. They proceeded to the main room. The video- phone had been set up on the coffee table in front of the couch. Vaughn had asked Weiss to set it up there instead of at the table so that Sydney could be more comfortable. The two sat down and waited together in a comfortable silence, fingers entwined.
Nine minutes and fifteen seconds later, they all jumped when the device rang. Weiss was up from the table instantly and walking over to the couch. He bent down in front of the screen and pressed a button, obviously turning it on. A button to the side of it stopped the ringing as the ever-solemn face of Jack Bristow appeared on the screen.
"Dad," Sydney said, barely registering she'd spoken aloud.
"Sydney," Jack responded, his features visibly softening. Vaughn gave Sydney's hand a reassuring squeeze before he let go and rose from the couch. Weiss moved to leave also.
"Weiss, Vaughn," Jack said, causing them to stop suddenly and look at the screen. "Thank you for your help."
It was a brief moment before either responded, not quite used to seeing Jack Bristow this way. Both quickly recovered, though, and nodded, mumbling "you're welcome" as they retreated from the room. Jack's focus immediately went back to Sydney, who remained on the couch. For a long moment, father and daughter were content simply to look at each other.
It was Sydney who spoke first. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, Sydney," he said dismissively. "It's you I'm concerned about."
Sydney paused, looking at his face. Even through a screen, she could actually see the genuine concern in his eyes. It touched her. It pained her. "I'm sorry I wasn't the one to tell you, Dad."
"I'm sorry I couldn't have been there to hear the news with you in the first place. But there's no point in regretting what we can't change. What I want to know is how you're feeling now," he told her.
She sighed. "Well, I've been feeling much better physically since I've been off the treatments," she offered.
"Good. I'm glad," he said, obviously hoping she'd elaborate more.
"I know that's probably not what you meant. I just honestly don't know how to express how I feel about this. I couldn't possibly find the words. I'm not even sure *I* understand how I'm feeling," Sydney admitted.
"I'm sure that's to be expected."
"I'm sorry, Dad," she apologized.
"No, Sydney, it's fine. I understand what you mean. I couldn't possibly explain the way I felt when Dr. Anderson called. I just wanted to be able to see you. Until the director fulfills our agreement, this is the best I can do."
"Are you going to be flown out?" Sydney asked, eager to know more about how and when she'd finally see her father again.
"If they can't work out a way for you to come home, yes," Jack replied.
"Do you really think that's a possibility?" Sydney asked hopefully.
"If the director agreed, you could be transported to this safe-house. I'm not giving up on the possibility that you may not even need a safe-house quite soon, though."
"You mean taking down SD-6?"
"Dixon's doing good work. We're closer than we've ever been, there's no doubt about that. As long as this study of the Rambaldi artifact goes on, he's able to get invaluable intel for us," Jack explained.
"So they've found the artifact?" Sydney asked.
"Yes, just recently. All we know from Dixon is that it appears to be incomplete, as if it's only a piece of something bigger," Jack replied. Sydney nodded.
"I can't believe that after working against SD-6 for years, we finally get the biggest break the second I'm gone."
"Well you gave Dixon a good head-start. He'd never be where he is without all the work you've done, Sydney," Jack assured her.
"If it happens, if it's soon enough, I want to be there. I want to see it go down," Sydney said, her tone insistent.
"Me too, Sydney. Me too."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sydney awoke the next morning to find that, for the first time that week, she'd risen before Vaughn. They'd both talked late into the night after Sydney was done talking to her father. She knew Vaughn was still having a hard time talking about her prognosis, let alone accepting it. He was trying, though, and she was grateful to him for that. Though she was quite used to keeping things to herself, this was one thing she simply needed to talk about.
She felt the twinge in her back and realized suddenly it was what had interrupted her sleep. She shifted so that she could massage the area with her hand. She faced Vaughn now and was briefly caught up in watching him sleep. She knew he hadn't slept much since the doctor had told them she was dying. She was well aware of the fact that she always fell asleep before him and woke after him. She was relieved to finally see him sleeping. She looked over him to see that the clock read 8:04 AM. She could take some pain medication and try to go back to sleep, but she knew doing that would likely knock her out for longer than she wanted. Deciding she simply needed to get up and stretch out a little, she pushed the covers off herself and quietly got out of bed. After one last lingering look at Vaughn, she left the room and headed down the hall.
As soon as the hall opened up into the main room, she heard the soft noises emitted from the television. A glance at the couch revealed Weiss sprawled across it, watching a movie Sydney didn't recognize. She walked closer to the couch, catching Weiss's attention. He smiled at her as she stood at the back of the couch.
"What's this?" She asked, gesturing to the television.
"I'm honestly not sure myself. It was all I could find. Who knew that all that was on at this time was news and talk shows? I was always working or sleeping. I saw an action movie, I stopped flipping," Weiss explained. Sydney smiled in amusement.
"You need a girlfriend," she teased.
"Well some of us aren't as lucky as Mike, are we? It's not like everyone gets thrown in hiding with the woman they're madly in love with. Some of us have it a little harder," he joked back. She laughed and walked around to couch to sit in the chair next to it.
"You could always go home," she reminded him lightly.
"I told you, Syd, you're not getting rid of me," he replied, smiling. "But I'm hopeful that we'll all be sent home soon."
"Really? It seems like everyone but me thinks we'll be home in no time."
"You don't think it's possible?" Weiss asked.
"No, I do think it's possible. I'm just not so convinced yet. I worked against them for years. I'm just don't know if I believe we can get all we need to take them out in a matter of weeks. Anyway, it's not like luck has really been on my side lately," she said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
"Well maybe that'll change."
"I hope so." She paused for a moment, looking at the television before speaking again. "Weiss, can I ask you something?"
"Shoot."
"I hate to have to ask you this, but there's no way I could ever ask Vaughn. And this is just something I really need to know. I've wondered about it non-stop lately."
"Syd," he said, cutting her off. "You're rambling. Just ask, I don't mind," he assured her. She nodded slowly.
"Say, hypothetically, things don't go as planned with SD-6. Say we have to remain in hiding for a while. What happens after I'm gone and Vaughn's the only one in need of protection?" She asked, struggling only slightly with the incredibly heavy question.
Weiss sighed. "I can see why you wouldn't want to ask Mike," he commented. "One of the reasons we came here aside from the fact that it was an unregistered safe-house was because of Dr. Anderson living here. If that were no longer a concern, I imagine they'd want to clear this location in case they needed it for someone in greater danger. With Dixon working inside SD-6 now, Mike could probably be transferred back to a safe-house closer to home, like your father's."
"And you?" She asked.
"Even if the order for protection is rescinded, he'd need someone to bring food, to get anything he may need. I'm not about to abandon him," Weiss responded sincerely.
"Good," Sydney said softly. "He's lucky to have you as a friend. So am I."
"I only wish there were more I could do for you, for both of you," he said sadly.
"Trust me," she said, reaching over and laying her hand on top of his. "You've done more than enough."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
An hour later, Sydney excused herself from the living room when the twinge in her back grew steadily worse. She re-entered her room to find Vaughn still sleeping. As quietly as she could, she headed into the bathroom and pulled the door shut. She walked over to the bathtub and turned on the water, hoping a hot bath would help a little. She was tying her hair back when a particularly bad pain suddenly struck her. She reached down to her back and pressed down onto the area the pain was originating from.
She stilled very suddenly, holding her breath and drawing her hand away quickly. Then, taking a series of deep breaths, she pressed into the area again. There it was. She could actually feel a lump in her back where she knew the tumor grew. Knowing it was there, seeing it on X-rays was one thing. Actually being able to feel it under her skin was something completely different. She stood there, frozen, rubbing her hand back and forth over the area on her lower back in awe.
"Your tub's going to overflow," she heard suddenly, causing her to spin around. Vaughn stood in the doorway, the smile on his lips fading instantly at the look on her face. His eyes questioned her. She looked toward the tub quickly, seeing that it was indeed getting quite full. She walked over slowly, turning off the water. She stayed over the tub for perhaps a second too long before giving in and looking back at Vaughn.
"Syd, what's wrong?" He asked.
"It's, um, it's my back," she replied quietly.
"Does it hurt?" He asked, confused.
By then the twinge had turned into a dull throbbing, but she'd almost forgotten about the pain in the midst of her discovery. "Actually, yes, but that's not it."
"What then?" He asked, moving closer to her. For a painful moment, the room was silent.
"I can feel it, Vaughn."
There was no need to ask her what she meant. Vaughn knew exactly. He looked at her wearily, obviously not quite sure how to react to the news. He simply stared into her eyes for a long moment before looking down. He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her slowly. He then reached down to lift the bottom of her T-shirt. One hand held the shirt up, the other brushed softly against the skin of her back.
"Show me where," he asked, his voice rough. She reached behind her, gently laying her hand over his and moving it to the area she'd felt the lump. She pressed into his hand, feeling him imitating the motion into her back. His breath hitched. She knew he felt it too.
"God," he whispered.
"Yeah," she agreed. He removed his hand from her back, pulling her shirt down with the other one before turning her around to face him. He took her carefully into his arms, where she buried her face into his shoulder. They were both silent, treasuring the feeling of warmth and safety they could feel so rarely these days. After only a few minutes, though, Sydney's back protested violently to the position. She groaned into his shoulder as the throbbing increased.
"Your back?" He asked, knowing instantly what the groan had meant. She backed away slightly and nodded, her eyes squeezed shut. "You need to take those painkillers."
She shook her head suddenly. "I hate how they knock me out."
"And normally I respect that, but in this case, I'd say it's better than the alternative, so come on," he said, scooping her easily into his arms, ignoring her protests, and carrying her to the bed. He placed her down gently.
"Get comfortable. I'll be right back," he said, already turning to leave the room. She pushed herself carefully under the covers and shifted restlessly to find a comfortable position. She was still sitting when he returned to the room with a glass of water and a bottle of pills. Handing her the water, he poured two pills into his hand before giving them to her. She took them quickly and set the glass down on the nightstand. She then lowered herself to lie on her back, but gasped sharply and shot back up at the pain the position caused.
"That's not going to work," she said through clenched teeth.
"How about your side?" Vaughn asked.
"I need something against my back," she told him.
"Okay, lay down and let me try something." She complied, very slowly adjusting herself to lay on her side, wincing slightly in the process. Vaughn got up and went around the bed, standing behind her now. Grabbing the pillows she wasn't laying on from the head of the bed, he stacked them against her back. "How's that?" He asked after adjusting them for a few minutes.
"That's good," she replied drowsily, obviously already affected by the pain- killers. He came back around to sit on the edge bed, facing her. Her eyes were closed now, but they opened briefly when she felt his weight on the bed. He reached out, brushing his hand over her cheek, hearing her sigh.
"Mmm, the tub's still full," she mumbled softly. He smiled a sad smile that she couldn't see.
"I'll drain it, don't worry," he assured her.
"Don't let me sleep too long."
"I won't." Only moments later, he knew she'd fallen asleep. He normally stayed with her for a while after she'd fallen asleep, content simply to look at her. Watching her now, though, was taking his thoughts in a painful direction. He knew that pushing those thoughts away and staying in denial wouldn't help him in the long run, but he honestly didn't care. Right now, it was all he could do not to lose it completely. So he got up slowly, careful not to shift the bed too much, and quietly left the room. Half-way down the hall, he nearly ran straight into a wide-eyes, frantic looking Weiss.
"Whoa, what's up with you?" Vaughn asked, eyeing his friend curiously.
"I was just about to come find you. I just got an e-mail from Jack. Dixon's back from his mission."
"Do we know what the artifact was?" Vaughn asked.
"I think it's still be analyzed, but that's not really important," Weiss replied.
"And the important thing would be?"
"That Dixon came back with a way for the CIA to get backdoor access into the Alliance computer system. It's still disguised as a CIA network, because agents only need pass the lie-detector test Dixon had to access it. They don't need to actually know the truth. But the CIA is downloading all the information now. They say there's pages of it, enough to make a small book. They're going to analyze it all over the next few days. And if there's enough there, they're going to plan the take-down of the Alliance."
To be continued.
A/N: Okay, well I hope you liked it despite the delay. Moving's just been more taxing than I thought. And more hectic. Things are a lot more settled now, though, so hopefully I'll start falling into a regular updating schedule, but I make no promises lol. And thanks to everyone who sent me well-wishes about the move! You guys are really great! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated lol. Thanks guys!
Author: SydGillyKC
Author's Note: Well, this is my first chapter from the west coast! It still feels weird to say that lol. It took me a few days to really get settled here and get the internet working and get my computer working and everything, so I'm sorry for the wait. It just couldn't be helped. I actually had this chapter done a few days ago, but my internet hasn't been great here. It just goes on and off and I haven't been able to get on AOL at all. So hopefully it'll get better. It doesn't seem like I'll be horribly busy this next month, so I'll hopefully be able to update regularly, but I am going on auditions whenever they come up. And since one of them took me into Burbank, I made sure to drive by the Disney lot and cheer at the big "Alias" poster hehehe. Anyway, aside from the Jack phone call, I'm really just writing this chapter as I go along, so bear with me. I hope you like it!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
They were inextricably linked, soul-mates in the truest way. Feeling her warm and alive in his arms now, Vaughn couldn't imagine his life without her in it. She'd become his life. He'd shared every dream she'd revealed from her list. He'd shared her mission, her life, and her love.
But no matter how much he'd shared with her in the past, he could not share her death.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 27: Assurances
Weiss returned with the video-phone that evening. They set it up easily and had an hour until the scheduled call. After a rushed, quiet dinner between the three, Sydney found herself sitting in her room, pondering what on earth she was going to say to her father. She tried to imagine how she'd react if he was emotional. The last time she could remember him being openly emotional about anything was over two decades ago. The time of her mother's supposed death. But when he'd returned from being investigated, which she now knew was where he disappeared to, he'd donned a mask that hid any trace of emotion. He'd seemed to keep that mask all the years since then, letting it crack only slightly over the past few years.
"Nervous?" She heard Vaughn ask from the doorway. She turned quickly to look at him. He looked hesitant, unsure of whether she wanted him there or not.
"A little," she admitted. "I don't really know what I'm going to say."
Vaughn finally entered the room and came to sit beside her on the bed. "It's not going to matter what you say, really. He's your father. He'll just be glad to talk to you, to look at you."
"I wish he couldn't see me," Sydney said so softly, Vaughn almost didn't hear it.
"What? Why not?" Vaughn asked, confused. She looked up at him sharply.
"Look at me, Vaughn. He hasn't seen me for months, since before I'd gone through all the experimental treatments and the surgery and the isolation. I hardly recognize myself anymore. I look like a ghost," she finished in a whisper, looking at the floor. Vaughn reached out, laying his hand under her chin, forcing her eyes back to his. He took a moment to study her, knowing what he said next had to be completely truthful. She'd know otherwise. He had to admit she was right in saying she'd changed. Though she'd gained back some weight, she was still much thinner than before. Her skin was paler, her face not as rosy. Her eyes looked much bigger on her face now, framed by light circles underneath. Even her voice was a little softer than it had been before. There was no doubt that cancer had left its distinct mark on Sydney Bristow. But for all that had changed in her, there were twice as many things that hadn't. And it was those things that made her Sydney.
"Syd, you are the same woman you've always been. The same woman I met with bright red hair and a swollen lip. The same woman I assigned counter- mission after counter-mission to. Sure, you may have lost a few pounds, but you've always been thin. Sure you may be a little paler, but you've always had a pale complexion. In the ways that matter, you haven't changed a bit. You're still beautiful. I still love looking at you." He smiled. She did too. He realized suddenly that these moments of weakness he'd seen so rarely in her only served to remind him of her strong she truly was. He knew she'd be okay.
"Come on, you've got about ten more minutes. Let's go sit out there until he calls," he suggested, standing up and facing her. She nodded. He took her hand and helped her up. They proceeded to the main room. The video- phone had been set up on the coffee table in front of the couch. Vaughn had asked Weiss to set it up there instead of at the table so that Sydney could be more comfortable. The two sat down and waited together in a comfortable silence, fingers entwined.
Nine minutes and fifteen seconds later, they all jumped when the device rang. Weiss was up from the table instantly and walking over to the couch. He bent down in front of the screen and pressed a button, obviously turning it on. A button to the side of it stopped the ringing as the ever-solemn face of Jack Bristow appeared on the screen.
"Dad," Sydney said, barely registering she'd spoken aloud.
"Sydney," Jack responded, his features visibly softening. Vaughn gave Sydney's hand a reassuring squeeze before he let go and rose from the couch. Weiss moved to leave also.
"Weiss, Vaughn," Jack said, causing them to stop suddenly and look at the screen. "Thank you for your help."
It was a brief moment before either responded, not quite used to seeing Jack Bristow this way. Both quickly recovered, though, and nodded, mumbling "you're welcome" as they retreated from the room. Jack's focus immediately went back to Sydney, who remained on the couch. For a long moment, father and daughter were content simply to look at each other.
It was Sydney who spoke first. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, Sydney," he said dismissively. "It's you I'm concerned about."
Sydney paused, looking at his face. Even through a screen, she could actually see the genuine concern in his eyes. It touched her. It pained her. "I'm sorry I wasn't the one to tell you, Dad."
"I'm sorry I couldn't have been there to hear the news with you in the first place. But there's no point in regretting what we can't change. What I want to know is how you're feeling now," he told her.
She sighed. "Well, I've been feeling much better physically since I've been off the treatments," she offered.
"Good. I'm glad," he said, obviously hoping she'd elaborate more.
"I know that's probably not what you meant. I just honestly don't know how to express how I feel about this. I couldn't possibly find the words. I'm not even sure *I* understand how I'm feeling," Sydney admitted.
"I'm sure that's to be expected."
"I'm sorry, Dad," she apologized.
"No, Sydney, it's fine. I understand what you mean. I couldn't possibly explain the way I felt when Dr. Anderson called. I just wanted to be able to see you. Until the director fulfills our agreement, this is the best I can do."
"Are you going to be flown out?" Sydney asked, eager to know more about how and when she'd finally see her father again.
"If they can't work out a way for you to come home, yes," Jack replied.
"Do you really think that's a possibility?" Sydney asked hopefully.
"If the director agreed, you could be transported to this safe-house. I'm not giving up on the possibility that you may not even need a safe-house quite soon, though."
"You mean taking down SD-6?"
"Dixon's doing good work. We're closer than we've ever been, there's no doubt about that. As long as this study of the Rambaldi artifact goes on, he's able to get invaluable intel for us," Jack explained.
"So they've found the artifact?" Sydney asked.
"Yes, just recently. All we know from Dixon is that it appears to be incomplete, as if it's only a piece of something bigger," Jack replied. Sydney nodded.
"I can't believe that after working against SD-6 for years, we finally get the biggest break the second I'm gone."
"Well you gave Dixon a good head-start. He'd never be where he is without all the work you've done, Sydney," Jack assured her.
"If it happens, if it's soon enough, I want to be there. I want to see it go down," Sydney said, her tone insistent.
"Me too, Sydney. Me too."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sydney awoke the next morning to find that, for the first time that week, she'd risen before Vaughn. They'd both talked late into the night after Sydney was done talking to her father. She knew Vaughn was still having a hard time talking about her prognosis, let alone accepting it. He was trying, though, and she was grateful to him for that. Though she was quite used to keeping things to herself, this was one thing she simply needed to talk about.
She felt the twinge in her back and realized suddenly it was what had interrupted her sleep. She shifted so that she could massage the area with her hand. She faced Vaughn now and was briefly caught up in watching him sleep. She knew he hadn't slept much since the doctor had told them she was dying. She was well aware of the fact that she always fell asleep before him and woke after him. She was relieved to finally see him sleeping. She looked over him to see that the clock read 8:04 AM. She could take some pain medication and try to go back to sleep, but she knew doing that would likely knock her out for longer than she wanted. Deciding she simply needed to get up and stretch out a little, she pushed the covers off herself and quietly got out of bed. After one last lingering look at Vaughn, she left the room and headed down the hall.
As soon as the hall opened up into the main room, she heard the soft noises emitted from the television. A glance at the couch revealed Weiss sprawled across it, watching a movie Sydney didn't recognize. She walked closer to the couch, catching Weiss's attention. He smiled at her as she stood at the back of the couch.
"What's this?" She asked, gesturing to the television.
"I'm honestly not sure myself. It was all I could find. Who knew that all that was on at this time was news and talk shows? I was always working or sleeping. I saw an action movie, I stopped flipping," Weiss explained. Sydney smiled in amusement.
"You need a girlfriend," she teased.
"Well some of us aren't as lucky as Mike, are we? It's not like everyone gets thrown in hiding with the woman they're madly in love with. Some of us have it a little harder," he joked back. She laughed and walked around to couch to sit in the chair next to it.
"You could always go home," she reminded him lightly.
"I told you, Syd, you're not getting rid of me," he replied, smiling. "But I'm hopeful that we'll all be sent home soon."
"Really? It seems like everyone but me thinks we'll be home in no time."
"You don't think it's possible?" Weiss asked.
"No, I do think it's possible. I'm just not so convinced yet. I worked against them for years. I'm just don't know if I believe we can get all we need to take them out in a matter of weeks. Anyway, it's not like luck has really been on my side lately," she said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
"Well maybe that'll change."
"I hope so." She paused for a moment, looking at the television before speaking again. "Weiss, can I ask you something?"
"Shoot."
"I hate to have to ask you this, but there's no way I could ever ask Vaughn. And this is just something I really need to know. I've wondered about it non-stop lately."
"Syd," he said, cutting her off. "You're rambling. Just ask, I don't mind," he assured her. She nodded slowly.
"Say, hypothetically, things don't go as planned with SD-6. Say we have to remain in hiding for a while. What happens after I'm gone and Vaughn's the only one in need of protection?" She asked, struggling only slightly with the incredibly heavy question.
Weiss sighed. "I can see why you wouldn't want to ask Mike," he commented. "One of the reasons we came here aside from the fact that it was an unregistered safe-house was because of Dr. Anderson living here. If that were no longer a concern, I imagine they'd want to clear this location in case they needed it for someone in greater danger. With Dixon working inside SD-6 now, Mike could probably be transferred back to a safe-house closer to home, like your father's."
"And you?" She asked.
"Even if the order for protection is rescinded, he'd need someone to bring food, to get anything he may need. I'm not about to abandon him," Weiss responded sincerely.
"Good," Sydney said softly. "He's lucky to have you as a friend. So am I."
"I only wish there were more I could do for you, for both of you," he said sadly.
"Trust me," she said, reaching over and laying her hand on top of his. "You've done more than enough."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
An hour later, Sydney excused herself from the living room when the twinge in her back grew steadily worse. She re-entered her room to find Vaughn still sleeping. As quietly as she could, she headed into the bathroom and pulled the door shut. She walked over to the bathtub and turned on the water, hoping a hot bath would help a little. She was tying her hair back when a particularly bad pain suddenly struck her. She reached down to her back and pressed down onto the area the pain was originating from.
She stilled very suddenly, holding her breath and drawing her hand away quickly. Then, taking a series of deep breaths, she pressed into the area again. There it was. She could actually feel a lump in her back where she knew the tumor grew. Knowing it was there, seeing it on X-rays was one thing. Actually being able to feel it under her skin was something completely different. She stood there, frozen, rubbing her hand back and forth over the area on her lower back in awe.
"Your tub's going to overflow," she heard suddenly, causing her to spin around. Vaughn stood in the doorway, the smile on his lips fading instantly at the look on her face. His eyes questioned her. She looked toward the tub quickly, seeing that it was indeed getting quite full. She walked over slowly, turning off the water. She stayed over the tub for perhaps a second too long before giving in and looking back at Vaughn.
"Syd, what's wrong?" He asked.
"It's, um, it's my back," she replied quietly.
"Does it hurt?" He asked, confused.
By then the twinge had turned into a dull throbbing, but she'd almost forgotten about the pain in the midst of her discovery. "Actually, yes, but that's not it."
"What then?" He asked, moving closer to her. For a painful moment, the room was silent.
"I can feel it, Vaughn."
There was no need to ask her what she meant. Vaughn knew exactly. He looked at her wearily, obviously not quite sure how to react to the news. He simply stared into her eyes for a long moment before looking down. He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her slowly. He then reached down to lift the bottom of her T-shirt. One hand held the shirt up, the other brushed softly against the skin of her back.
"Show me where," he asked, his voice rough. She reached behind her, gently laying her hand over his and moving it to the area she'd felt the lump. She pressed into his hand, feeling him imitating the motion into her back. His breath hitched. She knew he felt it too.
"God," he whispered.
"Yeah," she agreed. He removed his hand from her back, pulling her shirt down with the other one before turning her around to face him. He took her carefully into his arms, where she buried her face into his shoulder. They were both silent, treasuring the feeling of warmth and safety they could feel so rarely these days. After only a few minutes, though, Sydney's back protested violently to the position. She groaned into his shoulder as the throbbing increased.
"Your back?" He asked, knowing instantly what the groan had meant. She backed away slightly and nodded, her eyes squeezed shut. "You need to take those painkillers."
She shook her head suddenly. "I hate how they knock me out."
"And normally I respect that, but in this case, I'd say it's better than the alternative, so come on," he said, scooping her easily into his arms, ignoring her protests, and carrying her to the bed. He placed her down gently.
"Get comfortable. I'll be right back," he said, already turning to leave the room. She pushed herself carefully under the covers and shifted restlessly to find a comfortable position. She was still sitting when he returned to the room with a glass of water and a bottle of pills. Handing her the water, he poured two pills into his hand before giving them to her. She took them quickly and set the glass down on the nightstand. She then lowered herself to lie on her back, but gasped sharply and shot back up at the pain the position caused.
"That's not going to work," she said through clenched teeth.
"How about your side?" Vaughn asked.
"I need something against my back," she told him.
"Okay, lay down and let me try something." She complied, very slowly adjusting herself to lay on her side, wincing slightly in the process. Vaughn got up and went around the bed, standing behind her now. Grabbing the pillows she wasn't laying on from the head of the bed, he stacked them against her back. "How's that?" He asked after adjusting them for a few minutes.
"That's good," she replied drowsily, obviously already affected by the pain- killers. He came back around to sit on the edge bed, facing her. Her eyes were closed now, but they opened briefly when she felt his weight on the bed. He reached out, brushing his hand over her cheek, hearing her sigh.
"Mmm, the tub's still full," she mumbled softly. He smiled a sad smile that she couldn't see.
"I'll drain it, don't worry," he assured her.
"Don't let me sleep too long."
"I won't." Only moments later, he knew she'd fallen asleep. He normally stayed with her for a while after she'd fallen asleep, content simply to look at her. Watching her now, though, was taking his thoughts in a painful direction. He knew that pushing those thoughts away and staying in denial wouldn't help him in the long run, but he honestly didn't care. Right now, it was all he could do not to lose it completely. So he got up slowly, careful not to shift the bed too much, and quietly left the room. Half-way down the hall, he nearly ran straight into a wide-eyes, frantic looking Weiss.
"Whoa, what's up with you?" Vaughn asked, eyeing his friend curiously.
"I was just about to come find you. I just got an e-mail from Jack. Dixon's back from his mission."
"Do we know what the artifact was?" Vaughn asked.
"I think it's still be analyzed, but that's not really important," Weiss replied.
"And the important thing would be?"
"That Dixon came back with a way for the CIA to get backdoor access into the Alliance computer system. It's still disguised as a CIA network, because agents only need pass the lie-detector test Dixon had to access it. They don't need to actually know the truth. But the CIA is downloading all the information now. They say there's pages of it, enough to make a small book. They're going to analyze it all over the next few days. And if there's enough there, they're going to plan the take-down of the Alliance."
To be continued.
A/N: Okay, well I hope you liked it despite the delay. Moving's just been more taxing than I thought. And more hectic. Things are a lot more settled now, though, so hopefully I'll start falling into a regular updating schedule, but I make no promises lol. And thanks to everyone who sent me well-wishes about the move! You guys are really great! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated lol. Thanks guys!