Title: This Tear
Author: SydGillyKC
Author's Note: Well, I'm sitting on a plane as I'm starting this. Which figures, because that's pretty much the only place that I can't be doing a single thing for the Alias Marathons, so I actually get to write lol. Things are just insanely hectic with the marathons and with the huge research paper I have due soon, so I'll do the best that I can with this. Unfortunately, that's about all I can promise. Thanks for being patient with me!
Oh, and as always, a tissue warning applies for this chapter, so don't say I didn't warn you!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"You're back," she said, obviously relieved. "I've been trying to reach you."
"I had my cell phone turned off for the hearing. What's going on?" Vaughn asked quickly. Aly sighed, her eyes already apologizing for whatever she was about to say.
"Sydney's taken a downturn. It, um," she paused, "it doesn't look good."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 40: Without Words
Everything in Vaughn's world stopped cold when those words left Aly's mouth. He suddenly found himself struggling for air, his chest seeming impossibly tight. "What do you mean? What happened?" He asked frantically.
"Well, once she stopped treatment, the cancer was basically uninhibited. It's spread so extensively now that it's literally all over her body. She's entering what's called a multisystem organ failure. Her body is literally shutting down, and fast," Aly explained solemnly.
"How fast?" Weiss ventured tentatively.
"She could slip into a coma at any time now, and after that it won't be long." No one needed to ask what she meant. The look on her face said all they needed to know. "We're talking days now... and not many of them."
For a long, horrible moment, the room was completely silent.
Finally, Vaughn spoke up. "If Agent Clark doesn't call any witnesses, closing arguments will be tomorrow. If the committee decides quickly, there's still a chance that this could work."
"If anyone can hold on, it's Sydney," Weiss reasoned.
"Does she know what's going on?" Vaughn asked Aly.
"I think she does," Aly replied, nodding.
"Okay," Vaughn said, suddenly surprisingly calm. "Then we'll just take this one step at a time." Weiss and Aly silently nodded their agreement. "Is she awake?"
"No, her body's going to keep her asleep almost constantly now. If she wakes up, it'll mostly likely be for very short periods of time," Aly replied.
"Well I'm going to go sit with her then. If she wakes up, I don't want her to be alone," Vaughn told them, turning around and heading to Sydney's room before either of them had a chance to reply.
He opened the door softly, despite knowing that something so small was unlikely to disturb her anymore. He closed the door behind him and quickly took in his surroundings. The room was characteristically dim and quiet. Sydney lay on her side, facing away from him, completely still. He wasted no time in rounding the bed so that he could see her face. She appeared to be sleeping soundly, just as Aly had predicted. The heart monitor emitted a steady beep, almost willing Vaughn's heart to slow down to match it.
He lowered himself into the chair beside her bed, content to simply sit and watch her sleep. His plans were interrupted, though, when he noticed something out of place. Her journal, which she normally stored in the nightstand drawer for ensured privacy, was sitting on top of the nightstand. Vaughn looked curiously back at Sydney, as if waiting for her to wake up and put it hastily back into the drawer. She slept on, though, and Vaughn found the temptation proving too great. He reached over and lifted the journal into his hands, holding it as if it were made of glass. He looked at it for a minute, contemplating, before opening to a random page about two-thirds of the way through the book.
"Sometimes I feel as if I'm a prisoner, trapped inside my own body. My body may be dying, but everything else still feels so alive. It's a strange feeling. I'm so used to being in control of my body, using it to take down men three times my size. That's all changed now, though, along with so much else. I've traveled to more countries, completed more missions, and fought for my life more times than I can count. So why do I feel like I've experienced more being cooped up in hiding than I have doing anything else? Does that even make any sense? My mind wanders so much these days, I'm not sure if what I'm writing is even coherent. I've never been a firm believer of everything having a reason, but I'm starting wonder whether it might be true, at least in my life. Had I never gotten recruited to SD-6, I may never have formed the relationship with my father that I have now, something I've longed for desperately since I was told my mother died. Had I never met Danny, I may never have known the truth about what I was doing. Had Danny lived, I may never have met Vaughn. Had I not gotten sick, we may never have finally admitted how we felt (though I like to think we would have, eventually).
I sometimes wonder how I would've ever gotten through any of the last few years without Vaughn. I can't imagine. I never knew what it was like to have someone you could truly rely on, someone you could share anything with, until I met him. I'd loved before, with Noah, with Danny, but never like this. I've never felt so truly connected to a person as I do with him. I know he'll always be there. And for once in my life, I don't have to doubt that he feels the same way. I know he does. Which is probably why I worry so much. There's no way I would've made it this far without him. I would've shut down- physically, mentally, emotionally, though I cannot say which would've come first. How can I now ask him to do what I cannot even imagine doing myself? I may have been the one who underwent the surgeries, the chemo, the infections, etc. this last year, but I am most definitely the lucky one. I will never have to know life without him. Compared to that, dying is most definitely the easy way out.
The other day, on the beach, I had all these visions of Vaughn maybe ten years down the road. He had a beautiful wife, children he adored, and a good job. He was happy. And contrary to what I expected, my heart didn't oppose these images. I realized how much I want for him to go on living. I don't want him to carry around a void for the rest of his life because I'm no longer with him. And though these images were most likely no more than something my mind randomly concocted, I suddenly felt comforted. Like I knew he would learn to live again, even if it takes him longer than I'd like. If nothing else, I know he'd do it for me- because he knows I wouldn't expect any less of him. Because he loves me."
"Nosy," he heard suddenly, causing him to jump slightly, his head snapping up in surprise. Sydney was awake now, her eyes tired, her face pale, and her beautiful smile making everything else barely noticeable. She quickly took in the tears pooling in his eyes, though, and the smile faded from her face. "Don't cry," she begged softly, reaching for his hand. He grasped her hand automatically, bringing her hand to his lips as he moved closer and rested his arms on the bed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to invade your privacy. I didn't even think. I just saw it sitting there and I started reading," he apologized.
She reached out with her free hand to cup his cheek. He leaned forward more in attempt to lessen her effort, bringing his hand up to rest on top of hers. "Don't be sorry," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I left it out for a reason. I wanted you to find it in case I didn't wake up again."
"Syd," he choked out, tears still threatening to spill over.
"It's okay, Vaughn. I want you to read it. I think it'll help."
Vaughn nodded slowly. "I'll read it."
"Good." She offered him a small smile, her hand lowering from his face to rest again at her side.
"Tomorrow will probably be the last day of the hearing. And then the committee makes its decision." Vaughn told her.
"I know," she replied, closing her eyes for a brief moment as if to rest them. Vaughn watched her, his heart suddenly breaking into a thousand pieces. A tear finally spilled over, trailing down his face. Sydney forced her eyes open again and immediately looked concerned. "What is it?"
Vaughn looked down for a moment, trying to get his emotions in check, before looking back up at her. "Syd," he said softly, shaking his head. "I was so ready to come in here and ask you to try to hang on for me, to try to hold out until the committee made their decision. But I realize now that's asking entirely too much of you. I won't be the person who holds you here, where you're so tired, where you can hardly move, where you're in pain. I don't want to ask that of you. So instead, I'm going say that if you need to let go, it's okay. I just don't want you to hurt anymore," he finished in a whisper, his tears making a reappearance.
Her eyes now shone with tears as well, as she squeezed his hand and managed a small smile. "I'll try, Vaughn. I want to try. I just don't know how much control I have anymore," she admitted. "But thank you."
"For what?" Vaughn asked.
She smiled. "For loving me that much."
He reached out, brushing her hair behind her ear before running his fingers softly down her cheek. "Always."
She closed her eyes, the soothing sensation of his fingers stroking her face easing her quickly into sleep.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"I want you to take good notes for me tomorrow at the hearing," Vaughn told Weiss later, as they ate a quiet dinner at the table.
"What? You're not coming?" Weiss asked, surprised.
Vaughn shook his head. "I need to stay. I don't want her to be alone."
Weiss nodded his understanding. "Okay, well I'll pay close attention, don't worry," he assured Vaughn.
"Thanks."
"Do you think she'll be able to hang on long enough?" Weiss asked suddenly.
Vaughn sighed. "I don't know. I think if the committee takes more than a few days deciding, they may be too late."
"Well Jack's sure to help her case on the stand," Weiss reasoned.
"Yeah, he'd rather imprisoned for perjury than say anything damaging to our case." Vaughn paused. "Would you do me a favor, though?"
"Sure," Weiss replied.
"Make sure that Jack comes here tomorrow after the hearing. If he wants to go try to make some desperate attempts, he can do so afterwards. He needs to spend some time with Sydney first," Vaughn explained.
"I'll tell him... You know, Mike, you're much calmer than I expected you would be under these circumstances," Weiss admitted.
Vaughn gave a humorless chuckle. "Only on the outside. You don't even want to know all the things that are going through my head right now."
"Actually, I do," Weiss corrected, clearly trying to give him an opportunity to tell his worries to a sympathetic ear.
"I just," Vaughn paused, unsure of how to say everything that he was feeling. "I just don't know how to say goodbye to her. She's my life."
Weiss nodded silently, unable to say anything that would comfort his friend. They both knew this was one problem there was no solution to.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sydney felt herself come slowly to awareness. The room was light and she quickly deduced that she'd slept through the night and into the next day. Her eyelids still felt heavy, though, as if something were weighing them down. She suddenly became aware of soft voices behind her. She couldn't make out what they were saying, but she thought she heard three of them. Gathering what little energy she had, she shifted onto her back and looked over to the small table by the window. Three heads immediately turned to look at her.
"Will? Francie?"
Her two friends smiled at her, immediately getting up from their chairs to each sit on the edge of her bed.
"Hey, Syd," Will said softly, taking her hand in his.
"Hey, sweetie," Francie greeted, her smile sad.
"I'll give you guys some time alone," Vaughn suddenly said from behind all of them. He rose from his chair and rounded the bed. He leaned down and kissed Sydney's forehead before straightening again. Sydney reached out with her free hand and caught his, squeezing it.
"Thank you," she whispered, knowing he was responsible for this.
He squeezed back. "You're welcome. I'll be back soon." She nodded, letting go of his hand and watching him walk out of the room. She then turned back to her friends.
"I'm so glad you guys are here," she told them softly, smiling at each of them.
"Us too," Will agreed.
Sydney looked to Francie, who sat beside Will. "How's the restaurant?" She asked.
"It's good," she said, nodding slowly. "Busy, but I've been getting a lot of good reviews."
"That's great. I'm so happy for you, sweetie."
"How are *you*?" Will asked, changing the subject.
Sydney sighed, closing her eyes briefly. "Tired," she replied truthfully, "but okay. Really."
"Michael's been updating us about the hearing," Francie said suddenly.
"Has he?" Sydney asked, surprised. "He never told me that."
"Yeah, he calls us every day to let us know how it's been going. It sounds like it's going well," Will said hopefully.
"I guess we'll find out," Sydney replied softly.
"Well, I want you to know that we're going to be here either way," Will assured her, the faintest shimmer of tears evident in his eyes.
Sydney smiled. "I love you both," she whispered, reaching out with her free hand for Francie's.
"We love you, too," Francie replied, taking her hand.
Sydney looked at them for a moment, memorizing each of their faces, savoring how wonderful they made her feel, before her eyelids finally became too heavy. She allowed them to slowly slip shut. "I'm sorry guys, I'm just so tired," she mumbled sleepily.
"It's okay, Syd. Get some rest. We'll be back tomorrow," Will assured her.
She nodded, her eyes still closed, and squeezed both of their hands before allowing herself to drift away.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
It was hours later when she felt herself fade back into the world. The second her eyes were able to focus, she saw Vaughn leaning over her, brushing the hair out of her eyes. She smiled up at him as best she could. He smiled back, barely, the toll the last few weeks has taken on him suddenly stamped clearly across his face. She realized for the first time that he'd skipped the hearing that day. He knew. She could tell. He knew that their time was running preciously short.
She looked up at him again, tears suddenly filling her eyes to match the tears already present in his. An understanding passed between them. Whatever happened, they would face the future together- even if Sydney was with him only in spirit. She reached for his hand and felt him take it, his eyes never leaving hers. She squeezed his hand. He nodded. No words were needed.
There was no need for either to express their undying love. They already knew. There was no need for goodbyes. For them, not even death meant something so final. So they held on to each other instead, communicating without words, memorizing every detail. It was both the most beautiful and most painful moment they'd ever experienced. It was as if the connection between them had reached its highest point, requiring almost nothing.
Sydney was barely aware of the sun setting in the window behind him. She watched the room slowly fade with the sun, knowing her strength was fading with it. When the sky finally began to turn a dark shade of blue, she allowed her eyes to slip shut for a moment, unable to hold them open anymore. When she opened them again, she noticed that a single tear now rolled down his cheek. With what little strength she had left, she reached out to brush it away, one last attempt to sooth his pain. He nodded at her slowly, painfully, knowing that she couldn't stay awake for much longer.
He leaned down, his lips meeting hers ever so softly. He lingered there for a moment that stretched much longer. When he pulled away, the tears were gone. It was then that she realized what he'd just given her... a wordless goodbye.
He brought her hand to his lips before setting it back on the bed, slipping his hand out from underneath. Silently, he rose from his seat and walked around the bed. Seconds later, she felt him spoon up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to him. Both took a moment to memorize the way it felt to be like this, to feel so close, so loved. Smiling to herself, Sydney finally allowed her eyes to slip shut. Only moments later, Vaughn allowed his to do the same. They drifted into sleep together, just as they'd grown accustomed to doing everything since the day his watch stopped and his life began.
Vaughn didn't need anyone to tell him, when he awoke hours later, that Sydney would not wake up this time. He could sense it the second he opened his eyes. He held her closer, feeling her heart beat in time with his. A heartbeat was all that was left, he realized. Her spirit was somewhere else now. And he knew it was more than likely that her spirit was all that would ever find its way back to him.
Burying his face in her neck, he allowed his tears to fall.
To be continued...
A/N: In case you couldn't tell, she's not dead! She's in a coma, so don't panic yet. And don't kill me yet either. There's still hope lol. Anyway, there's only one or two chapters left to this story, so get ready for the end. What that means, I cannot tell you, but keep reading and you'll know soon enough. I know it took me a while to get this out, but my huge research paper is pretty much done now, so it all depends on how busy the marathons keep me. And if you haven't yet, PLEASE check out www.aliasmarathon.com and read about the events that are consuming my life as of the moment lol. Otherwise, let me know what you thought! I'll try to get the final chapters up as soon as I can, I promise!
Oh yeah, and because I forgot to say this in my last chapter's note, if you're interested, my latest Jennifer encounter is up on my livejournal. If you can stand a story written by a very sleep-deprived, extremely excited girl, read away. You have been warned lol. www.livejournal.com/users/imetgillya
Author: SydGillyKC
Author's Note: Well, I'm sitting on a plane as I'm starting this. Which figures, because that's pretty much the only place that I can't be doing a single thing for the Alias Marathons, so I actually get to write lol. Things are just insanely hectic with the marathons and with the huge research paper I have due soon, so I'll do the best that I can with this. Unfortunately, that's about all I can promise. Thanks for being patient with me!
Oh, and as always, a tissue warning applies for this chapter, so don't say I didn't warn you!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"You're back," she said, obviously relieved. "I've been trying to reach you."
"I had my cell phone turned off for the hearing. What's going on?" Vaughn asked quickly. Aly sighed, her eyes already apologizing for whatever she was about to say.
"Sydney's taken a downturn. It, um," she paused, "it doesn't look good."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 40: Without Words
Everything in Vaughn's world stopped cold when those words left Aly's mouth. He suddenly found himself struggling for air, his chest seeming impossibly tight. "What do you mean? What happened?" He asked frantically.
"Well, once she stopped treatment, the cancer was basically uninhibited. It's spread so extensively now that it's literally all over her body. She's entering what's called a multisystem organ failure. Her body is literally shutting down, and fast," Aly explained solemnly.
"How fast?" Weiss ventured tentatively.
"She could slip into a coma at any time now, and after that it won't be long." No one needed to ask what she meant. The look on her face said all they needed to know. "We're talking days now... and not many of them."
For a long, horrible moment, the room was completely silent.
Finally, Vaughn spoke up. "If Agent Clark doesn't call any witnesses, closing arguments will be tomorrow. If the committee decides quickly, there's still a chance that this could work."
"If anyone can hold on, it's Sydney," Weiss reasoned.
"Does she know what's going on?" Vaughn asked Aly.
"I think she does," Aly replied, nodding.
"Okay," Vaughn said, suddenly surprisingly calm. "Then we'll just take this one step at a time." Weiss and Aly silently nodded their agreement. "Is she awake?"
"No, her body's going to keep her asleep almost constantly now. If she wakes up, it'll mostly likely be for very short periods of time," Aly replied.
"Well I'm going to go sit with her then. If she wakes up, I don't want her to be alone," Vaughn told them, turning around and heading to Sydney's room before either of them had a chance to reply.
He opened the door softly, despite knowing that something so small was unlikely to disturb her anymore. He closed the door behind him and quickly took in his surroundings. The room was characteristically dim and quiet. Sydney lay on her side, facing away from him, completely still. He wasted no time in rounding the bed so that he could see her face. She appeared to be sleeping soundly, just as Aly had predicted. The heart monitor emitted a steady beep, almost willing Vaughn's heart to slow down to match it.
He lowered himself into the chair beside her bed, content to simply sit and watch her sleep. His plans were interrupted, though, when he noticed something out of place. Her journal, which she normally stored in the nightstand drawer for ensured privacy, was sitting on top of the nightstand. Vaughn looked curiously back at Sydney, as if waiting for her to wake up and put it hastily back into the drawer. She slept on, though, and Vaughn found the temptation proving too great. He reached over and lifted the journal into his hands, holding it as if it were made of glass. He looked at it for a minute, contemplating, before opening to a random page about two-thirds of the way through the book.
"Sometimes I feel as if I'm a prisoner, trapped inside my own body. My body may be dying, but everything else still feels so alive. It's a strange feeling. I'm so used to being in control of my body, using it to take down men three times my size. That's all changed now, though, along with so much else. I've traveled to more countries, completed more missions, and fought for my life more times than I can count. So why do I feel like I've experienced more being cooped up in hiding than I have doing anything else? Does that even make any sense? My mind wanders so much these days, I'm not sure if what I'm writing is even coherent. I've never been a firm believer of everything having a reason, but I'm starting wonder whether it might be true, at least in my life. Had I never gotten recruited to SD-6, I may never have formed the relationship with my father that I have now, something I've longed for desperately since I was told my mother died. Had I never met Danny, I may never have known the truth about what I was doing. Had Danny lived, I may never have met Vaughn. Had I not gotten sick, we may never have finally admitted how we felt (though I like to think we would have, eventually).
I sometimes wonder how I would've ever gotten through any of the last few years without Vaughn. I can't imagine. I never knew what it was like to have someone you could truly rely on, someone you could share anything with, until I met him. I'd loved before, with Noah, with Danny, but never like this. I've never felt so truly connected to a person as I do with him. I know he'll always be there. And for once in my life, I don't have to doubt that he feels the same way. I know he does. Which is probably why I worry so much. There's no way I would've made it this far without him. I would've shut down- physically, mentally, emotionally, though I cannot say which would've come first. How can I now ask him to do what I cannot even imagine doing myself? I may have been the one who underwent the surgeries, the chemo, the infections, etc. this last year, but I am most definitely the lucky one. I will never have to know life without him. Compared to that, dying is most definitely the easy way out.
The other day, on the beach, I had all these visions of Vaughn maybe ten years down the road. He had a beautiful wife, children he adored, and a good job. He was happy. And contrary to what I expected, my heart didn't oppose these images. I realized how much I want for him to go on living. I don't want him to carry around a void for the rest of his life because I'm no longer with him. And though these images were most likely no more than something my mind randomly concocted, I suddenly felt comforted. Like I knew he would learn to live again, even if it takes him longer than I'd like. If nothing else, I know he'd do it for me- because he knows I wouldn't expect any less of him. Because he loves me."
"Nosy," he heard suddenly, causing him to jump slightly, his head snapping up in surprise. Sydney was awake now, her eyes tired, her face pale, and her beautiful smile making everything else barely noticeable. She quickly took in the tears pooling in his eyes, though, and the smile faded from her face. "Don't cry," she begged softly, reaching for his hand. He grasped her hand automatically, bringing her hand to his lips as he moved closer and rested his arms on the bed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to invade your privacy. I didn't even think. I just saw it sitting there and I started reading," he apologized.
She reached out with her free hand to cup his cheek. He leaned forward more in attempt to lessen her effort, bringing his hand up to rest on top of hers. "Don't be sorry," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I left it out for a reason. I wanted you to find it in case I didn't wake up again."
"Syd," he choked out, tears still threatening to spill over.
"It's okay, Vaughn. I want you to read it. I think it'll help."
Vaughn nodded slowly. "I'll read it."
"Good." She offered him a small smile, her hand lowering from his face to rest again at her side.
"Tomorrow will probably be the last day of the hearing. And then the committee makes its decision." Vaughn told her.
"I know," she replied, closing her eyes for a brief moment as if to rest them. Vaughn watched her, his heart suddenly breaking into a thousand pieces. A tear finally spilled over, trailing down his face. Sydney forced her eyes open again and immediately looked concerned. "What is it?"
Vaughn looked down for a moment, trying to get his emotions in check, before looking back up at her. "Syd," he said softly, shaking his head. "I was so ready to come in here and ask you to try to hang on for me, to try to hold out until the committee made their decision. But I realize now that's asking entirely too much of you. I won't be the person who holds you here, where you're so tired, where you can hardly move, where you're in pain. I don't want to ask that of you. So instead, I'm going say that if you need to let go, it's okay. I just don't want you to hurt anymore," he finished in a whisper, his tears making a reappearance.
Her eyes now shone with tears as well, as she squeezed his hand and managed a small smile. "I'll try, Vaughn. I want to try. I just don't know how much control I have anymore," she admitted. "But thank you."
"For what?" Vaughn asked.
She smiled. "For loving me that much."
He reached out, brushing her hair behind her ear before running his fingers softly down her cheek. "Always."
She closed her eyes, the soothing sensation of his fingers stroking her face easing her quickly into sleep.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"I want you to take good notes for me tomorrow at the hearing," Vaughn told Weiss later, as they ate a quiet dinner at the table.
"What? You're not coming?" Weiss asked, surprised.
Vaughn shook his head. "I need to stay. I don't want her to be alone."
Weiss nodded his understanding. "Okay, well I'll pay close attention, don't worry," he assured Vaughn.
"Thanks."
"Do you think she'll be able to hang on long enough?" Weiss asked suddenly.
Vaughn sighed. "I don't know. I think if the committee takes more than a few days deciding, they may be too late."
"Well Jack's sure to help her case on the stand," Weiss reasoned.
"Yeah, he'd rather imprisoned for perjury than say anything damaging to our case." Vaughn paused. "Would you do me a favor, though?"
"Sure," Weiss replied.
"Make sure that Jack comes here tomorrow after the hearing. If he wants to go try to make some desperate attempts, he can do so afterwards. He needs to spend some time with Sydney first," Vaughn explained.
"I'll tell him... You know, Mike, you're much calmer than I expected you would be under these circumstances," Weiss admitted.
Vaughn gave a humorless chuckle. "Only on the outside. You don't even want to know all the things that are going through my head right now."
"Actually, I do," Weiss corrected, clearly trying to give him an opportunity to tell his worries to a sympathetic ear.
"I just," Vaughn paused, unsure of how to say everything that he was feeling. "I just don't know how to say goodbye to her. She's my life."
Weiss nodded silently, unable to say anything that would comfort his friend. They both knew this was one problem there was no solution to.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sydney felt herself come slowly to awareness. The room was light and she quickly deduced that she'd slept through the night and into the next day. Her eyelids still felt heavy, though, as if something were weighing them down. She suddenly became aware of soft voices behind her. She couldn't make out what they were saying, but she thought she heard three of them. Gathering what little energy she had, she shifted onto her back and looked over to the small table by the window. Three heads immediately turned to look at her.
"Will? Francie?"
Her two friends smiled at her, immediately getting up from their chairs to each sit on the edge of her bed.
"Hey, Syd," Will said softly, taking her hand in his.
"Hey, sweetie," Francie greeted, her smile sad.
"I'll give you guys some time alone," Vaughn suddenly said from behind all of them. He rose from his chair and rounded the bed. He leaned down and kissed Sydney's forehead before straightening again. Sydney reached out with her free hand and caught his, squeezing it.
"Thank you," she whispered, knowing he was responsible for this.
He squeezed back. "You're welcome. I'll be back soon." She nodded, letting go of his hand and watching him walk out of the room. She then turned back to her friends.
"I'm so glad you guys are here," she told them softly, smiling at each of them.
"Us too," Will agreed.
Sydney looked to Francie, who sat beside Will. "How's the restaurant?" She asked.
"It's good," she said, nodding slowly. "Busy, but I've been getting a lot of good reviews."
"That's great. I'm so happy for you, sweetie."
"How are *you*?" Will asked, changing the subject.
Sydney sighed, closing her eyes briefly. "Tired," she replied truthfully, "but okay. Really."
"Michael's been updating us about the hearing," Francie said suddenly.
"Has he?" Sydney asked, surprised. "He never told me that."
"Yeah, he calls us every day to let us know how it's been going. It sounds like it's going well," Will said hopefully.
"I guess we'll find out," Sydney replied softly.
"Well, I want you to know that we're going to be here either way," Will assured her, the faintest shimmer of tears evident in his eyes.
Sydney smiled. "I love you both," she whispered, reaching out with her free hand for Francie's.
"We love you, too," Francie replied, taking her hand.
Sydney looked at them for a moment, memorizing each of their faces, savoring how wonderful they made her feel, before her eyelids finally became too heavy. She allowed them to slowly slip shut. "I'm sorry guys, I'm just so tired," she mumbled sleepily.
"It's okay, Syd. Get some rest. We'll be back tomorrow," Will assured her.
She nodded, her eyes still closed, and squeezed both of their hands before allowing herself to drift away.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
It was hours later when she felt herself fade back into the world. The second her eyes were able to focus, she saw Vaughn leaning over her, brushing the hair out of her eyes. She smiled up at him as best she could. He smiled back, barely, the toll the last few weeks has taken on him suddenly stamped clearly across his face. She realized for the first time that he'd skipped the hearing that day. He knew. She could tell. He knew that their time was running preciously short.
She looked up at him again, tears suddenly filling her eyes to match the tears already present in his. An understanding passed between them. Whatever happened, they would face the future together- even if Sydney was with him only in spirit. She reached for his hand and felt him take it, his eyes never leaving hers. She squeezed his hand. He nodded. No words were needed.
There was no need for either to express their undying love. They already knew. There was no need for goodbyes. For them, not even death meant something so final. So they held on to each other instead, communicating without words, memorizing every detail. It was both the most beautiful and most painful moment they'd ever experienced. It was as if the connection between them had reached its highest point, requiring almost nothing.
Sydney was barely aware of the sun setting in the window behind him. She watched the room slowly fade with the sun, knowing her strength was fading with it. When the sky finally began to turn a dark shade of blue, she allowed her eyes to slip shut for a moment, unable to hold them open anymore. When she opened them again, she noticed that a single tear now rolled down his cheek. With what little strength she had left, she reached out to brush it away, one last attempt to sooth his pain. He nodded at her slowly, painfully, knowing that she couldn't stay awake for much longer.
He leaned down, his lips meeting hers ever so softly. He lingered there for a moment that stretched much longer. When he pulled away, the tears were gone. It was then that she realized what he'd just given her... a wordless goodbye.
He brought her hand to his lips before setting it back on the bed, slipping his hand out from underneath. Silently, he rose from his seat and walked around the bed. Seconds later, she felt him spoon up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to him. Both took a moment to memorize the way it felt to be like this, to feel so close, so loved. Smiling to herself, Sydney finally allowed her eyes to slip shut. Only moments later, Vaughn allowed his to do the same. They drifted into sleep together, just as they'd grown accustomed to doing everything since the day his watch stopped and his life began.
Vaughn didn't need anyone to tell him, when he awoke hours later, that Sydney would not wake up this time. He could sense it the second he opened his eyes. He held her closer, feeling her heart beat in time with his. A heartbeat was all that was left, he realized. Her spirit was somewhere else now. And he knew it was more than likely that her spirit was all that would ever find its way back to him.
Burying his face in her neck, he allowed his tears to fall.
To be continued...
A/N: In case you couldn't tell, she's not dead! She's in a coma, so don't panic yet. And don't kill me yet either. There's still hope lol. Anyway, there's only one or two chapters left to this story, so get ready for the end. What that means, I cannot tell you, but keep reading and you'll know soon enough. I know it took me a while to get this out, but my huge research paper is pretty much done now, so it all depends on how busy the marathons keep me. And if you haven't yet, PLEASE check out www.aliasmarathon.com and read about the events that are consuming my life as of the moment lol. Otherwise, let me know what you thought! I'll try to get the final chapters up as soon as I can, I promise!
Oh yeah, and because I forgot to say this in my last chapter's note, if you're interested, my latest Jennifer encounter is up on my livejournal. If you can stand a story written by a very sleep-deprived, extremely excited girl, read away. You have been warned lol. www.livejournal.com/users/imetgillya