Title: This Tear

Author: SydGillyKC

Author's Note: Before I get on to the chapter, let me just say that my experience with the kids at Camp Sunshine (it's a camp for kids with cancer and their siblings) was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. It was truly inspiring and uplifting. If I didn't have a similar camp that required a day of training the week after, I would have definitely stayed there. But hey, this way you get a chapter sooner! We're really down to it now. After this, there's only one more to go. So enjoy! Oh, and I also wanted to thank all those people who shared their stories with me in their reviews. Thank you for being so open and I'm so sorry for all of your losses. It really means a lot to me to know that I'm portraying things accurately and your reviews (and everyone else's of course) mean the world to me. Thanks you!

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Vaughn reached out to take her hand in his. Slowly, he brought her unmoving fingers to his lips and held them there. He closed his eyes, allowing a single tear to fall onto their joined hands. He knew, without opening his eyes, that everyone was watching him, but he couldn't care less. Since the day he'd met her, all that had existed in his world was Sydney. It was moments like this that he truly realized, no matter what happened, that was never going to change.

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Chapter 42: Heartbeat

Vaughn was barely aware of the sun rising in the window behind him. The daily occurrence would have been completely meaningless to him today if it hadn't have meant Sydney, once again, exceeding the expectations Aly had spoken of. She'd made it to morning, and though Vaughn knew that she could still leave them at any time, he felt proud of her accomplishment. Sydney was the kind of person that always set out to prove people wrong, to show anyone who put limitations on her that she could break right through them as if she'd had no idea they were even there. He knew that this was no different. She would've been happy.

Shortly after the sunrise, the room emptied slightly. Andrew relocated to the living room for a while and, at Vaughn's insistence, Weiss went to get Will and Francie. Aly, Jack, and Vaughn remained. Still, no words were spoken. Vaughn felt as if he barely registered the time passing before Weiss returned with Will and Francie. He wanted to curse the time for passing so quickly when it was now more precious that it had ever been. Vaughn moved aside to allow Will and Francie to sit with Sydney for a while. They both talked to her briefly, letting her know that they were there and that they loved her. When Francie began to cry, though, they excused themselves from the room. Vaughn was grateful. The last thing he wanted Sydney to hear as she slipped away was the sound of their tears.

The next few hours, despite the fact that his tired and grieving mind was constantly filled with thoughts, were rather uneventful. Weiss, Andrew, Will, and Francie all remained in the living room, though one would occasionally duck in to check if there were any changes. Vaughn and Jack remained by Sydney's side, refusing to move. At one point, Weiss had tried to convince Vaughn to at least come out and lie down on the couch for a while. The attempt was half-hearted in the first place, both men fully aware that there was no way Vaughn was leaving Sydney's side, but Vaughn still appreciated his friend's concern. He declined the suggestion as politely as he could manage. He was exhausted, but he knew he'd never be able to sleep, knowing that he could wake up to a life without Sydney.

Aly remained in the room, mostly sitting in a chair by the window so she was out of their way, but occasionally checking Sydney's vitals. Each time, she would shake her head to signal that there was no change. None of them were really sure what they were expecting. Any change would either mean a miraculous recovery or death. Either way, it wouldn't be Aly's silent check- ups and gestures that told them of these changes. No one said anything, though, perhaps just so the check-ups could continue to break them from their silent thoughts every once in a while. It was sometime in the early afternoon that Vaughn decided he could no longer take the heavy silence that had lasted for what now seemed like an eternity.

"She'd hate this, you know," Vaughn stated softly to no one in particular. "This vigil we've set up. She'd tell us to get off our asses and do something useful." The room remained silent for a moment, and Vaughn didn't dare look up, fearing that he'd been wrong to break the silence in the first place.

"And yet, if the positions were reversed for any of us, nothing in this world would've torn her away from this bed," Jack said finally.

"You're right," Vaughn agreed, nodding. He paused for a moment, considering. "Do you think she can hear us?"

"Oh, I have no doubt. But from spending time with her these last few weeks, I doubt there's much any of us can say that she doesn't already know," Jack replied.

"I think Agent Bristow's right," Aly chimed in. "The most you can do right now is be here. That's all she'd want."

"Do you think she can feel the energy of everyone here? To know how loved she truly is?" Vaughn questioned, not quite sure how he expected either of them to know the answer.

Aly sighed. "I really hope so," she replied sincerely.

Vaughn turned back to Sydney. His hand still held hers and, through their connection, he felt like he was willing all of his love into her. It was as if he was trying to provide her with the ammunition and strength to get her to wherever she was going. This was one journey that no one could tell him what was needed for. It was her final and greatest mission and he knew she would complete it with grace and dignity, as she had with every other mission she'd ever embarked on. Perhaps if he simply thought of it in that way, a mission she was conquering and would never return from, it would be easier. Someday, he knew, he would embark on the same mission and they would be together again. A weight suddenly lifted from his shoulders and the room felt much lighter. Startled by this sudden feeling, he looked immediately down at Sydney, half-expecting her to have stopped breathing. Her chest rose, though, and Vaughn let out a breath. He knew it was coming soon, and he was ready now. He may struggle for the rest of his life without her, but right now, in this moment, he was prepared to let her go.

He closed his eyes then, squeezing her hand in his. Immediately, the image of her smiling face filled his mind. He saw her sitting next to him and smiling in the sunlight, just as she had on the day he'd unsuccessfully told her the grasshopper joke. She was strong and vibrant and beautiful. When she laughed, her eyes sparkled. Her dimples never disappearing for a moment, she continued to smile at him. She was the most beautiful site he'd ever seen.

Vaughn suddenly became vaguely aware that, outside of this wonderful place he was in, the room around him had burst into commotion.

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Aly had been watching Vaughn for the past few minutes. She'd noticed him grip Sydney's hand more tightly in his as his eyes had slipped shut. She didn't know what it was seeing in his mind, but whatever it was must've been quite powerful. She'd seen a small smile playing across his lips, followed several seconds later by a tear slipping from his closed lids. He appeared to be completely unaware of everything that was going on around him. Aly could only guess that, in his mind, he was saying goodbye to Sydney. Maybe somewhere beyond the world of conscious thought, they were together again for one last time.

Aly nearly jumped out of her chair when the door across the room was suddenly flung open. Weiss immediately stepped into the room in a manner that was completely opposite the tentative one of coming to check on Sydney's status. His face was different too, and his eyes were positively wild. Aly's eyes darted across the room to see Jack's angry looking face and Vaughn's eyes still closed.

"How quickly can we have Sydney ready to go?" Weiss asked quickly.

"What?!" Jack asked angrily. Vaughn's eyes suddenly flew open and he took in the room quickly, seemingly noticing for the first time that was something was happening.

"What's going on?" Vaughn questioned frantically, his eyes darting from Jack to Aly to Weiss.

Andrew suddenly appeared in the door behind Weiss. He was talking on his phone and said a hurried "thank you" and "goodbye" before folding it shut. His eyes looked as wild as Weiss's, but when he looked at each of the occupants in the room, he actually smiled.

"We did it," he said simply, disbelievingly.

"Will one of you please explain yourselves?" Jack demanded.

"I was just contacted by the lead member of the committee. They came to their decision this afternoon. Kendall and the hospital have already been contacted and everything's in place already. An ambulance will be here in fifteen minutes to transfer Sydney," Andrew explained.

Vaughn's heartbeat doubled suddenly. He wasn't sure if he was even hearing Andrew correctly. "You mean... they're going to administer the solution?" He asked softly, afraid he might be mistaken.

"Yes, I mean it's hers. This isn't over yet as long as she can keep fighting just a bit longer," Andrew replied.

The room suddenly fell into complete silence, everyone trying to absorb the shock that filled their minds.

It's not over, was all Vaughn could think.

Finally, Jack snapped into action and started barking orders at everyone. "Dr. Bentz, you get Sydney prepared for transfer. Hook her up to whatever portable devices she may need. Vaughn, you help her. Agent Daggett, call Kendall and find out everything he knows. Weiss, go speak to Sydney's friends and explain what's going on. See if they'd like to accompany us to the hospital. I'll go pull my car up front so that we can follow the ambulance to the hospital."

Everyone nodded and then quickly sprang into action. Jack, Weiss, and Andrew all quickly exited the room. Vaughn could hear the commotion in the living room, but he ignored it. He turned, instead, to Aly who was now standing on the other side of Sydney's bed and removing an IV from her arm.

"What do you need me to do?" He asked.

"I can handle it. You just sit with her, tell her what's going on. Tell her to keep hanging in there. If anyone can get through to her now, it's you," she replied.

Vaughn looked at her, surprised. "Thank you," he said softly. She nodded before setting back to work.

Vaughn looked back down at Sydney, realizing that even in all the craziness, he still hadn't let go of her hand. "Hey, Syd, it's me... We did it, Syd. The committee voted in our favor. We're getting you ready right now to go to the hospital where they'll give you the solution. You hear that? You might just pull through this after all. If you can just hang on a little bit longer, the solution's all yours. Maybe by tonight, you'll be awake and talking again. Maybe by tonight, you'll be healthy and expected to live for a long time," Vaughn paused, what he was saying starting to actually sink in. Tears rose to his eyes and he forced himself to take a deep breath.

"Just a little bit longer, Syd. I promise. Then this could all be over."

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Within ten minutes of hearing the news, everything had been taken care of. Sydney was on portable oxygen and IV and Vaughn had moved her from under the covers so that she laid on top, waiting to be transferred to the gurney when it arrived. Jack had pulled the car up front and it now waited to follow the ambulance. Will and Francie had insisted upon joining the group at the hospital. Though Francie was somewhat confused, Will and Weiss had apparently explained enough for her to understand that this was Sydney's one and only chance of living. Andrew had spoken to Kendall and had reported to them what was going to happen once they arrived at the hospital. Sydney would be taken to isolation where the solution would be administered through IV. They would keep her in isolation until they saw signs of improvement and then they would allow her to have visitors. Assuming all of this occurred, they would continue to observe her and make any further decisions from there.

The ambulance arrived right on time and they quickly loaded Sydney onto the gurney and proceeded to the elevator. Everyone else followed on the stairs and met the paramedics out front as they were loading Sydney into the ambulance. When they were finished, one of them proceeded to the driver's seat while the other turned to them

"Dr. Bentz, since you're familiar with Agent Bristow's case, you should probably come with us. If you'd all like, we can take one more person along with us. That's all we can fit," the medic explained. Jack and Vaughn both turned to each other at the same time, their eyes instantly locking.

"Jack, you should go. You're her father and her only relative. I can follow in the car," Vaughn offered, though his heart was screaming at him to just jump into the ambulance and speed off before anyone could argue.

"No, I'll take the car. She'd want it to be you," Jack replied solemnly, surprising Vaughn.

"Are you sure?" Vaughn asked, praying he'd say yes.

"Just take care of my daughter, Agent Vaughn. We'll meet you there." And before Vaughn had a chance to argue, Jack had walked toward his car and climbed into the drivers seat, causing everyone else to snap into action and follow. With one last glance at the man he was suddenly so grateful to, Vaughn turned and climbed into the ambulance behind Aly.

Vaughn quickly squeezed in beside Sydney and took her hand in his so that she would know he was still there. The ambulance jerked a little and began to move. He glanced out the small window in the back and saw Jack following close behind. Vaughn then looked across the small space and saw the paramedic hooking Sydney up to a heart-monitor. The sound it soon emitted was slow, nearly twice as slow as the pounding in his own chest. Vaughn prayed that Jack had been right, that she could hear them, and she was somehow aware of what was happening. Vaughn had told her so many times that she should let go when she was ready, that he wouldn't ask her to hold on for him. How suddenly everything had changed. Just twenty minutes ago, he was fully prepared for her suffering to end in the form of death. Now, he prayed it would end with life.

"Her breathing's getting shallow. We'll have to intubate as soon as we arrive at the hospital," the medic commented.

"How much longer?" Aly asked.

"About five minutes."

Vaughn squeezed Sydney's hand. In five more minutes, she would be taken away from him. He would have to leave her side for the first time in days. The only thing that helped Vaughn deal with that fact was knowing that when they were reunited, she could be awake. She could be talking and laughing again. She could be cured. And then everything would be okay.

Everyone in the ambulance seemed to jump when a loud whine suddenly filled the small space. Vaughn's heart nearly skipped a beat when he realized that the whine was being emitted from the heart-monitor on which he saw a long, flat line. His fogged mind took a second to register what it all meant.

Sydney's heart had stopped.

"Is she a DNR?" The medic shouted over the noise, already reaching for the defibrillator.

"Unofficially, but there was never any paperwork," Aly replied quickly. Both of them suddenly turned to Vaughn.

"Listen to me," Aly said to him firmly, getting his attention. "You need to decide right now what Sydney would want. You know her best, you'd know better than us what she would want. But you need to decide right now."

Vaughn looked frantically from Aly to Sydney. Would she want them to let her go or would she want to keep fighting? And suddenly it struck him. Sydney had never given up or let go of anything in her entire life. Sydney was a fighter. He had his answer.

"Do it. Get her back," Vaughn said simply. Aly nodded and the medic took the paddles and pressed them to her chest.

"Clear!"

To be continued...

A/N: Haha, I know I'm cruel. But I'm starting the next (and final) chapter immediately, so hopefully I'll get it posted soon. I'll try not to leave you on the edge of your seats for too long lol. Summer's been pretty slow so far since I got back from camp, so that should leave me with some time to finish this up. So let me know what you think!