Disclaimer- I don't own Newsies or any of the songs I use in this fic.

A/n: This is 'Shattered' by The Rolling Stones. Thanks to Cassies-Grandma for the song suggestion!

Chapter 6: Shattered

Jack

Life is mundane. It creeps along, never increasing in pace or picking up its tempo. Life is a one-way street and I'm stuck going in circles.

I know what I want, and for once I can't get it. Things are so out of order, they're so complicated and so messed up. I don't know what to think. I hardly know how to breathe without thinking about how he would do the same. Things in New York have changed and I want them to go back to how they were before. Why won't they go back?

Shattered, shattered
Love and hope and sex and dreams
Are still surviving on the street
Look at me, I'm in tatters!
I'm a shattered
Shattered

I'm never satisfied anymore. It feels like a weight is always pressing down on my chest, forcing out my lungs so that eventually I'll die in this awkward manner.

I never have sex with people I love, I never feel like Mush does around Coin, or how Crutchy feels around Music. Prostitutes won't be there in the morning to make you feel secure and safe. I don't think I'll ever be able to dig myself out of this hellhole that New York has become.

I don't know what's happened to the city. It's all becoming different. My life before this happened was so carefree and straightforward, now it's confusing, creating millions of different paths for me to follow, none leading to a happy ending. People aren't as friendly as they were a week ago, now they're all cold and look down at me. Do they know something about me that even I don't? I wish they'd tell me what it was.

Friends are so alarming
My lover's never charming
Life's just a cocktail party on the street
Big Apple
People dressed in plastic bags
Directing traffic
Some kind of fashion
Shattered

There's nothing for me to do here anymore. I'll just continue down this path that consists mainly of whores and alcohol. I need someone to set me straight, to show me how life is supposed to be again. Please, Spot, come help me pick up the pieces and sit with me while I put them together. I don't want to be on the floor my whole life.

Laughter, joy, and loneliness and sex and sex and sex and sex
Look at me, I'm in tatters
I'm a shattered
Shattered

Do you hear me? Do you know that I wish you'd help me? Show me what it's like to be sure like that again. Like you are right now. Everybody's talking about how you know everything, about how you know what life should be. What's it like to live before people judge you? Can you write it out in black and white for me to see?

I need the stature you have in this jaded life. I need to know you're not so different from me.

The world won't be the same again after this. I won't know where to go. I'll forget my way around Manhattan and wander lost until you come and help me find the way home.

All this chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter 'bout
Shmatta, shmatta, shmatta -- I can't give it away on 7th Avenue
This town's been wearing tatters (shattered, shattered)
Work and work for love and sex
Ain't you hungry for success, success, success, success
Does it matter? (Shattered) Does it matter?
I'm shattered.
Shattered

Boots

I'm broken.

The city does nothing but breed disaster. I've seen you coming out of bars, happy from a night of joy: smelling of lust. One minute in this place you have ambitions and the next you're convinced you'll always be a newsboy. Is that what happened to you? Do you need help to figure it out? I can do that.

Ahhh, look at me, I'm a shattered
I'm a shattered
Look at me- I'm a shattered, yeah

Pride and joy and greed and sex
That's what makes our town the best

I still know what I've always wanted, but I fear you're in the same boat as Spot. Did you forget why you came here in the first place? Did you forget where you want your life to go from here?

Sure, I've lost my vital ingredient of hope, but I didn't forget what dream it's disappeared from. It's from my dream of the stage. The dream that's ruined my life.

Pride and joy and dirty dreams and still surviving on the street
And look at me, I'm in tatters, yeah
I've been battered, what does it matter
Does it matter, uh-huh
Does it matter, uh-huh, I'm a shattered

Brooklyn is falling apart on the outside and the inside. All its spirit has died and Spot doesn't know how to fix it. Everywhere is like this. We all go to bed hungry and wake up worse, if at all.

'Only the toughest survive. Fight fire with fire.' How do I do that without destroying everyone else as well? Life is the worst and best thing right now. Bless that you're living, but pray that you're taken from this hell on earth as soon as possible. What would trigger such contrast in two thoughts?

I'm still thinking about you. After that night at Irving Hall I left my mind all over the streets of Manhattan. I can still see you walking away. Away from me.

Don't you know the crime rate is going up, up, up, up, up
To live in this town you must be tough, tough, tough, tough, tough!
You got rats on the west side
Bed bugs uptown
What a mess this town's in tatters I've been shattered
My brain's been battered, splattered all over Manhattan

"New York's expanding," Spot said to me one day.

Why? Why would anyone move here? Why did I? The World advertises itself and it's New York. No one sees the slums or the tragedy behind the flourishing Wall Street. No one lives on Wall Street. We hawk headlines, seducing people to our New York. It's all falling down and I'm to blame.

Just leave my New York now. Preserve your dreams now and maybe you'll have a chance of feeling life.

Uh-huh, this town's full of money grabbers
Go ahead, bite the Big Apple, don't mind the maggots, huh
Shadoobie, my brain's been battered
My friends they come around they
Flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter
Pile it up, pile it high on the platter

New York: a city doomed for all eternity.

(End Chapter)

((Sorry if that was depressing, it was fun to write though, believe it or not! Sorry for now updating in a while! I wrote and posted this as soon as I could though, hope you enjoyed it. Once again, thanks to Granny for suggesting this song. Review!))

Shoutouts:

Coin- I'm glad you liked it. The poor boys are so Angsty! It's cute!

Padfootismyhero- guess what? I did go to Montreal! And it was great! I met a guy who looked like Specs and took his picture. It was wonderful. Yum, French.

Jacky Higgins- aah! I'm glad you're OK and didn't get hurt in the trailer-thing. I think I'll go read and review one of your stories sometime this weekend. If I have time… and you made a small cameo in this chapter too, congrats!