A/N - Presenting... Finding Sirius. A combination of Finding Nemo and Harry Potter. Directed by Luinramwen, script written by Luinramwen and all her muses on sugar. Starring Sirius.
You can really tell this is a low-budget film...I should have hired a better voice for the Voiceover. Next time I need one I'll get one of my muses to do it. And next time I'm adding the voiceover on in the studio, where the Voice is out of harm's way.
I'd hate filming fight scenes if I really was a director, plus I had to work with a lot of characters I really hate...though a character is introduced whom we all know and love. *shudders* Thus all the bloopers in this chapter. Damn fangirls.
Disclaimer - I own the concept and the remainders of my sets. Oh, and some frayed rope and a Pomeranian pit (You'll get it later).
*~*SCENE TWO*~*
[blackout]
Voiceover - The rest is history. You already know how Harry grows up, goes to Hogwarts, escapes the Dark Lord several more times, meets the godfather he'd thought he'd lost when he was a baby, blah de blah de blah...
[slowly the darkness fades to reveal the Death Room in the Department of Mysteries]
~Numerous Death Eaters and Order of the Phoenix members are knocking the stuffing out of each other with wands and weird spells as the voiceover continues.~
Voiceover - Everything had been going along swimmingly - well, if not very swimmingly, at least things hadn't been going along sinkingly - until now. Harry hated fighting Death Eaters, especially ones who had been so close to the man who'd murdered his parents. Plus he was very unhappy at the fact that his godfather, Sirius, was fighting too, risking death or capture. Sirius, however - HEY! *yells at random Death Eater angrily* Watch where you're aiming those spells, buddy!
Random Death Eater - U_U Sorry.
Voiceover - Now, if we can continue without further interruption - *glares at random Death Eater*
RDE - *gulp* @_@
Voiceover - Sirius, however, was out of the Order's HQ for the first time in almost a year, and was taking many risk, necessary...and unnecessary...*cough*showoff*cough*
~Sirius does cool Matrix trick. Several Death Eaters forget themselves and applaud. Sirius takes a bow~
Director - CUT!
Bellatrix - . KEEP FIGHTING THEM, YOU SCUM!
~The Director glares at Bellatrix in a silent warning to remember this is only a film~
Death Eaters - U_U Sorry...
Voiceover - Can I get this over with? Now? Please?
Director - ACTION!
Voiceover - *takes a deep breath* SiriusdecidedtopickafightwithhiscousinBellatrixLestrange -
~Angry fans storm the set and attack Bellatrix~
Director - CUUUUUT! GET OFF THE SET! . You can all write sadistic fanfictions about murdering her until the movie is done being filmed. Then she will probably die. Trust me. *grin evilly*
~The Voiceover grumbles and looks inordinately grouchy. Security guards put up fangirl barrier~
Director - *Sighs * ACTION!
Voiceover - *in severely pissed off tone*...and fans everywhere wept as, in the midst of taunting Bellatrix, Sirius was hit with a spell shot by his treacherous -
~Fangirls insert a combination of insults that no decent director hoping to keep her movie at the PG-13 level would decline to translate, and proceed to cut immediately~
Voiceover - . - cousin, that sent him falling backwards through the Veil.
[slow-mo]
Harry - *horrified* S I R I U S! N O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O!
[the Veil flutters, then burps]
Director - . Damn sound technicians! CUT! Play with the the sound effects later, please. The "Amazing Sound Sequence" is still coming up.
Sound Technicians - Sorry. We got bored.
Director - *Sighs* ACTION!
~Harry rushes forward, heedless of the dangers posed by the other combatants. However, as this is movie-land, he can stop fighting in the middle of a battle and NOT GET HURT! Go artistic license!~
Director - *rolls eyes*
~Ummm...yes...well...Harry rushes forward towards the Veil but gets cut off by two duellers. All sign of Sirius is lost~
Harry - Merlin, I've lost him again! And I promised myself that would NEVER happen again! I've got to DO something!
~Out of the mess of Death Eaters and Order members hurries a figure, that, upon recognition, makes millions of fangirls freak out and start screaming~
Fangirls - *hopefully* Is it Orli this time?
Director - NO! Orlando Bloom is not in this movie! I wish he was, but he's not! Now go away!
~Unless of course there happens to be any Remus Lupin fangirls in that crowd...~
Fangirls - @_@ ^u^ REEEEEEEEEMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUS!!
~Security guards restrain the fangirls, with difficulty. Remus nonetheless freaks out and actually scrambles up the Arch!
Remus - *sobbing* No more! No more! Get them away from me! Heeeeeelp!
Director - . Grrrrrrr...CUUUUUT! ALL UNAUTHORIZED FANGIRLS OUT OF THE BUILDING! AND I MEAN N O W!!! *much quieter* You can come down from there now, Remus. The fangirls are all gone. You're safe now. They're not going to hurt you, and may I be struck by lightning if they ever get in this building again...*even quieter* Merlin, I've had it up to HERE with that moronic stage-movement prompter...
~Remus descends the Arch, still trembling...however, by the time he reaches the bottom he has completely forgotten the incident. He starts wandering off again~
Harry - Excuse me professor...according to the script -
Director - Cut! Remember, stay in character! ACTION!
Harry- Excuse me, professor...did you see what happened after Sirius went through the Veil?
Remus - ??? Who's Sirius?
Harry - @_@ Uh - your friend...
Remus - *lightbulb appears over head* Oh yeah!
Harry - *sigh*
Remus - Is he missing? What happened to him?
Harry - I think he fell through the Veil.
Remus - Who??
Harry- SIRIUS! .
Remus - Oh, Sirius. What about him?
Harry - He fell through the Veil!
Remus - Who??
Harry - *losing his temper completely* SIRIUS FELL THROUGH THE VEIL!!
Remus - Oh. Right.........Merlin! Sirius fell through the Veil! We've got to go save him!
Harry - . That's what I've been TRYING to tell you!
Remus - Then what are we waiting for? Let's go! Let's go! *strides toward the Veil, then pauses* Ummm...where are we going again?
Harry - To rescue Sirius! I TOLD you -
Remus - Right! We go rescue Sirius!............Ummm....what from?
~Harry sighs in exasperation and drags Remus forward until they are standing directly in front of the Veil~
Harry - Never mind that now, professor. Since you're here...I guess you might as well come look for him with me.
~They step through the Veil and disappear. The Death Eaters forget themselves again and start applauding the special FX guys~
Bellatrix - *blows up (not literally.....)* For the last time - GET BACK TO FIGHTING YOU - (long string of Very Bad Words that the director again declines to translate and will cut ASAP)!
Director - No Bellatrix. The scene ended when they stepped through the Veil. Didn't you hear me yell Cut? Back to your cells, Death Eaters.
~Death Eaters groan. The Director smiles evilly~
Director - Oh, except you, Bellatrix. You don't get a cell. You get a pit filled with deranged Pomeranians and undead chihuahuas that you have to hang over on a fraying rope until we need you for another scene...which we hopefully won't. Don't worry. You'll fit right in. They all pureblood bitches...just like you.
~Security guards march off a struggling Bellatrix. The Director turns and shrugs~
Director - Just 'cause I have to work with that woman doesn't mean I have to like it. Now, if you'll excuse me....I really need my espresso break around now. Plus I've got to have a word with the voiceover guy and the stage-movement prompter. See you around! *waves and exits*