DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the world of Harry Potter. It's all JK's. I wish I did but I don't. Get over it, I have.
SUMMARY: "You can change it if you start from the beginning." After Draco dies Harry finds it hard to let go. Then he meets a old man in Knockturn Alley who sales him a potion and convinces him he can change it if he starts from the beginning.
WARNING: This is a slash story meaning boy/boy relationship. If you don't like it, don't read it. I am warning you for a reason.
A/N: Whoa! 18 reviews for the first chapter alone. I have never had that many reviews ever! let alone on one chapter. Of course I'm still kind of new at this but still WHOA! I never considered anyone would like this story so much. I just wrote the first chapter on a whim, I haven't even planned the whole story out! So if the story turns out to suck I would like to say sorry in advance for letting you all down. I can only hope this new chapter is half as good to you as the first. I am so amazed and grateful for all the reviews and because of this I've decided to personally thank all of you. If you don't want to read a whole lot of review replies you should just scroll down to the chapter but if you reviewed the first chapter and want hear my reply, read on!
Rena: Thanks for reviewing. I most definitely be continuing this story. How could I not with all these lovely reviews!
Fluffyluver: Is this soon enough for you?
Lord of the Potters: Thank you! I've never really liked my own writing so it's good to know some one else does.
Kuroneko89: Just to clear it up for you: Draco died from the combined impact of a bludger to the head and the force of hitting the ground. And I don't know, Harry just may screw up, we all know who clueless he is! lol!
lol: Gotta love the threats! "Or else" will definitely keep me writing.
Shi Ruroune of the Aphrodesiac: Rox your sox?. . .hmm.
Feffer: I don't know if they'll get together. I might just go for a teary sad ending.
FredandGeorgeRmine: Thanks! Was it really that good? I hope so.
Kristie: Thanks for the review!
Silverflames03: Did you really start to cry? Wow powerful impact there. Let me take a moment to bask in that knowledge.
Lilthy: Thanks for reviewing. I hope you like the new chapter!
kt: Hope this chapter makes you even more hopeful!
Sak: Things are definitely going to change for little Harry, big time! Read on!
Blondel: Yes I'm really sixteen. Please never tell me I seem older! 10 years! Geez, that's enough to spoil some ones day. lol!
Saki: Thanks for reviewing. Hope this chapter is out soon enough for you.
Youko Gingitsune: Everyone loves Draco. He's too hot not to love!
Pixi: I'll try to finish but I can't make any promises. . .
Thanks again to all my reviewers. I love reviews! I can't get enough of them. Make sure to read the IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE at the end of the chapter.
Now to the story!
P.S. I wrote the scene where Draco offers Harry his hand like the scene in the movie instead of how it was in the book, you know inside the school instead of on the train. It just fit better that way.
P.P.S. If this chapter is kind of boring I'm sorry but it was necessary. I used a lot of scenes from the book though they aren't entirely the same some are almost exact.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 2: Change
-Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there would never be a past-
The most popular devise in wizarding history dealing with time travel is a potion that goes by the Latin name Praeter-Mutare, literally translated to mean past-change. The Praeter-Mutare is a thick purple potion that taste vaguely like lemons when swallowed. This potion allows the drinker's soul to leave his body and travel back to the body of their past self. Once in their past self's body the drinker will be able to change their future by altering their past. The drinker does not have complete control over their past self's actions but will only be able to sway their past self's decisions. The past self of the potion drinker will not be aware their future selfs are inhabiting their body. They will only be aware of a vague difference in themselves that the will not be able to explain. They will also find themselves making choices they would not normally make. Usually the drinker will have one specific event in mind that they wish to change. While inside their past selfs body, they will be able to see how the changes they make effect the future through veiwing their past selfs dreams. Once their past selfs have lived through the event the drinker wished to change the drinker will wake up a day after they took the potion to the new future. Upon the waking the past soul and future soul will merge together. As a result the potion drinker will not remember anything of the former past, instead the changed past will replace those memories and the former past will be no more. The Praeter-Mutare potion was outlawed in the mid-nineteenth century and labeled as a Dangerous and Classified Potion. In the early nineteen hundreds Sidarr Sidda, a potion's master famous for his hunched back and striking blue eyes, began to brew and sale the Praeter-Mutare potion illegally in the underground Black Market. Sidarr Sidda was caught and cornered by Auror's five years later only to some how mysteriously escape. He has not been seen since, though some have claimed to have bought an illegal Praeter-Mutare off a hunched back man with blue eyes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Harry felt different. He hadn't felt that way all morning. Not when he had woken to discover that everything that had happened the night before wasn't a dream. Not when he and Hagrid had entered to Leaky Caldron, not when he discovered he was famous, not when had entered Gringrotts and saw real goblins. No Harry hadn't started to feel different until he opened the door to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, then suddenly he felt something inside him change. Something that was just. . . different.
Before he could ponder the difference, however, a squat woman dressed all in mauve hurried up to him smiling kindly. Harry assumed this must be Madam Malkin.
"Hogwarts dear?" she asked before Harry could even begin to speak. Harry nodded mutely. "Got the lot here -- another young man being fitted up just now, in fact."
She led Harry to the back of the shop, where a boy about his age was standing on a footstool was being fitted into long black robes by another witch. Harry stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the boy. He was very pale, with a pointed face and short white blond hair which was slicked back from his face. He looked down at Harry with a pair of familiar grey eyes. Harry had seen those eye's before somewhere, had seen that whole face in fact, but he couldn't remember where it could have possibly been.
The something different inside Harry stirred but it was at that moment the pale boy started to speak and the stirring went unnoticed.
"Is there a reason your staring?" the boy asked in bored voice. Harry felt his cheeks turn red as he noticed that not only was the boy staring at him so were the two witches.
"No," Harry mumbled, quickly adverting his eyes. "Sorry."
Feeling very dumb Harry stood on the stool next to the boy. Madam Malkin pulled a long black robe over his head, and began to pin it to right length.
"So," the boy suddenly said, startling Harry a bit. "Are you going to Hogwarts too?"
"Yes," Harry answered, for some reason finding it hard not to look at the other boy. He didn't know what it was but he was almost positive he had seen him somewhere, like in a dream. And he had a distinct feeling it had been a very good dream.
Harry glanced over at him as the boy continued to talk in the same drawling, bored voice. Harry was barely listening to what he was saying, he was too busy studying him. He had a very distinct air about him, something that made Harry sure he wouldn't like forget him. It was in the way he held himself. There was a certain pride and arrogance about he way he held his head and shoulders. Harry had never seen any kid his age stand like that. But there was something wrong with his face, something not right, and Harry couldn't place what it was. Harry suddenly became aware that the boy had asked him a question.
"Huh?" Harry asked confused.
"Have you got your own broom?" the boy repeated.
"Um, no," Harry said. Why would he want his own broom? Did witches and wizards really fly on brooms?
"Play Quidditch at all?"
Harry once again found himself completely confused. Not because he didn't know what the boy was talking about but because the word Quidditch sounded strangely familiar, just like the boy looked familiar. Not only that but at the mention of the word he felt a certain excitement arise in him that made him want to run right out the shop, jump on . . . something and do . . . something. He didn't know what though.
"No," Harry finally answered feeling a little dazed.
"I do --- Father says it's a crime if I'm not picked to play for my house, and I must say, I agree. Know what house you'll be in yet?"
"Um, no?" Harry ventured. He once again felt incredibly stupid. House? Did they get their own individual house at school? That sounded rather absurd.
"Well, no one knows until they get there, do they, but I know I'll be in Slytherin, all our family have been -- imagine being in Hufflepuff-"
"-I think I'd leave, wouldn't you." Harry finished. The boy turned to stare at Harry.
"That's exactly what I was going to say," he said with a slight up turn of his lips that couldn't really be called a smile but wasn't a frown either. It made his face look even stranger to Harry. "Funny."
Harry nodded numbly. Where had that come from? he thought. I don't even know what he's talking about and I'm somehow finishing his sentences? Harry shook his head trying to clear it of his rapid thoughts.
"I say, look at that man!" said the boy suddenly, nodding toward the front window. Hagrid was standing there grinning at Harry and pointing at two large ice creams to show he couldn't come in.
"That's Hagrid," said Harry, happily latching onto a subject he was familiar with. "He works at Hogwarts."
"Oh," said the boy, his face pointed with disgust. "I've heard of him. He's sort of a servant isn't he?"
"He's the gamekeeper," Harry said, suddenly not very interested in the other boy anymore.
"Yes, exactly. I heard he's a sort of savage -- lives in a hut on the school grounds and every now and then he gets drunk, tries to do magic, and end up setting fire to his bed."
"I think he's brilliant," said Harry coldly.
"Do you?" said the boy, with a slight sneer now on his face. Harry realized that was what had been missing from the other boys face to make it look so strange. Harry was quite certain the other boy sneered an awful lot. "Why is he with you? Where are your parents?"
"They're dead," Harry said shortly. He didn't feel muck like going into the matter with this boy.
"Oh, sorry," said the other, not sounding very sorry at all. "But they were our kind, weren't they?"
"They were a witch and wizard, if that 's what you mean."
The boy went on once again and once again Harry found himself not listening. He tuned the other boy out and concentrated instead on his own thoughts. What was happening to him. First that feeling he had gotten the moment he walked into the shop. That feeling of being slightly different. Then their was the boy, he still swore he had seen him somewhere, then that odd quidditch word, the finishing the other boy's sentence. Something was definitely a little strange and the weirdest part was he didn't know wether to be scared, angry or excited. He did know, however, that he was confused. Once again the boy interrupted his thoughts with a question.
"What's your surname, anyway?"
Thankfully, before Harry could answer and deal with all the Harry Potter crap, Madam Malkin said, "That's you done, my dear," and Harry hurriedly hopped down from the footstool.
"Well, I'll see you at Hogwarts, I supposed," said the drawling boy. Harry nodded rather curtly while thinking, 'I hope not '.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"--packed with Muggles, of course --"
Harry turned at the word Muggle. He had been standing around hopelessly at the train station for twenty minutes trying to figure out exactly he was going to make the train if he couldn't even find the platform. He had just been about to give up and walk back to the Dursley's when he heard the woman speaking from just behind him.
The speaker was a plump woman surrounded by four boys and a small girl, all of whom had flaming red hair. All four boys were pushing trunks just like Harry's in front of them, one of them even had a owl on top of their trunk.
The scene seemed so perfectly normal to Harry that he didn't even hesitate to walk up to the group as the stopped in front of the barrier between platforms nine and ten.
"Excuse me," Harry said to the plumb woman. She turn to look at him, a kind smile on her face. All five children turned to look at Harry as well, slightly curious looks on their faces.
"Hello, dear," she said. "First time at Hogwarts? Ron's new too."
She pointed at he last and youngest of her sons. He was tall, thin and gangling, with freckles, big hands and feet, and a long nose. Harry blinked a few times at the boy, once again hit with a feeling of familiarity. He knew for certain he had seen this boy somewhere, there was not a doubt in his mind that he had met this Ron before but once again he couldn't remember where.
"Yes," Harry said after a moment, answering the woman's question. "The thing is -- the is thing, I don't know how to --"
"How to get on the platform," said what appeared to be the oldest boy. He raised his head in a completely superior way that made Harry feel incredibly small. "It's really quite simple--" he began but he was cut off by another one of the boys.
"Please, Percy," he said rolling his eyes. "We don't want asleep before he can get on the train now, do we?" The boy Percy looked slightly affronted, turning a pale shade of pink.
"Yeah, Perce," said another of the boys that looked exactly like the one who had interrupted Percy. So much like the other boy in fact, Harry thought for a moment he was the same boy. "If you start talking we'll all miss the train. Just watch us," he said turning to Harry.
Harry watched as the one of the twin boys turned towards the barrier and began walking briskly at it. After a moment he picked up a little speed until he was going at a slight jog. Harry stood waiting for the other boy to slow down or turn or something but he didn't and Harry was just getting ready to yell for him to watch out but then suddenly he was gone.
The other of the twins quickly followed suit, heading straight for the barrier. More ready this time Harry watched the other boy disappear just before he should have collided into the brick barrier.
"How," Harry said faintly as he watched to third boy, Percy, disappear.
"All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten," the woman said. "Don't stop and don't be scared you'll crash into it, that's very important. Best do it at a bit of a run if you're nervous. Go on, go now before Ron."
"Er -- okay," said Harry."
He pushed his trolley around and stared at the barrier. It look very solid.
He started to walk toward it picking up speed as he went, watching it get closer and closer. By time he was just inches from the barrier he was going at a heavy run. Harry at first felt a little panicked. He knew he was going to hit the wall and at the speed he was going he was definitely going to get hurt. But then a voice in the pack of his head said quite clearly, 'Calm down. You'll be fine.' Not sure where such reasonable voice had come from, Harry non the less listened to it and calmed down. He looked at the barrier rushing up to him, blinked and then suddenly he was through.
Harry looked around him quite surprised. A crowd of people pushing carts and lugging trunks crowed around a scarlet steam engine. Behind him where the barrier had been were the words Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.
Harry began to push his cart down the train looking for an empty compartment. He finally found one near the back and after putting Hedwig in first he went back for his trunk. After several minutes of unsuccessfully trying to pull it up the steps to the train he was helped the twin red heads who had shown him how to get through the barrier. They introduced themselves as Fred and George Weasley and then proceeded to gawk unabashed at Harry when he told them his own name. Thankfully they were called away by their mother, leaving Harry to sit alone in his compartment.
A few moments after the train had begun to move the boy Ron walked into the compartment. Harry felt as if he should be angry with this boy but he didn't understand why. He had the feeling the boy had done something to him recently to warrant anger but once again he came up blank on what it was the boy could have done.
"Anyone sitting there?" he asked, pointing the seat opposite Harry. "Everywhere else is full." Harry shock his head and the boy sat down. He glanced up a Harry he gaze flickering to Harry's forehead before he quickly looked out the window. Harry got the feeling Fred and George had said something to the other boy about who he was. Harry wondered if that was the real reason Ron had come to sit in his compartment.
The twins came back into the compartment telling Ron about someone named Lee Jordan who had a giant tarantula. Harry wasn't really listening but said bye anyway when the twins left.
"Are you really Harry Potter?" Ron asked after they had left. Harry nodded and went back to staring out the window showing Ron that he really didn't want to talk. Ron seemed to get the point because he shut-up immediately and started staring out the window as well.
Harry watched the scenery go by outside his window feeling a little guilty. He didn't know why he was being so rude to Ron but something inside him was fuming. Something in him was definitely angry at the other boy for reasons he couldn't grasp. Harry was also starting to scare himself.
It seemed that more often he found himself thinking that "something inside him" was feeling and remembering certain things. He was beginning to treat these new feelings almost causally. If there was indeed something inside him he thought he really should be feeling at least a little nervous or frightened about it but he wasn't. It wasn't as if this thing were taking over or trying to change him, in fact it didn't feel so much different from him at all. It was as if it were him but a slightly different him. He couldn't really grasp what it was. He knew, however, afraid of if only afraid of how unafraid of it he was.
They had been traveling sometime when a woman with a trolly came by selling sweets. Harry had never seen any of these kinds of candies in his whole life. Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Pumpkin Paties, Cauldron Cakes and a number of other things. Harry had never had any money before that was all to himself, so, not wanting miss out on anything, he decided to buy some of everything.
Harry was just biting into a pumpkin pastry when he noticed Ron pulling out a rather squashed looking package. He unwrapped it and brought out one of four sandwiches. He looked at it with a pained expression on his face before taking a small bite. Still feeling guilty about how he had earlier treated him, Harry offered him some of his sweets.
"I got too much," Harry explained at Ron's surprised face. "I wouldn't it to got to waste."
"You sure?" Ron asked, eyeing the pile of food.
"Yeah," Harry said, suddenly feeling generous, his earlier feeling of anger gone. "Help yourself."
"Thanks," Ron said rather shyly before picking up one of the Chocolate Frogs.
They spent some time talking, Harry asking Ron about the sweets, while Ron answered all his questions with his mouth filled. Harry got a shock when one of the pictures from the Chocolate Frog cards moved but Ron quickly explained that in the wizarding world that's what pictures did.
Harry found himself relaxing into the easy conversation, taking his mind off of . . . well, his mind. Ron wasn't too bad as long as he wasn't sneaking peeks at his forehead. About halfway through the ride a short round boy came in looking for his toad. He was quickly followed by a girl with bushy brown hair and large front teeth also looking for the toad. She had a rather bossy voice and it was the voice more than anything that hit Harry once again with the feeling he had met her before. After a short conversation where the girl talked on in superior fashion she left. Harry was quite glad, her voice was getting slightly annoying.
Soon they were pulling into the station. He and Ron hurriedly put on their robes and began to make their way off the train. Outside it was dark but Harry could make out Hagrid over the crowd of students ushering all the first years towards him. Ron and Harry followed as Hagrid led all the first years to a lake where a fleet of boats sat. They all clamored into the boats which immediately started bobbing and moving on their own.
Harry was surprised when he got his first view of Hogwarts. Surprised because he felt as if was not his first view. It felt all too familiar, like going home.
They were ushered into the castle and into a giant entrance hall by a black haired witch called Professor McGonagall. She had a strict looking face that made Harry think that she wasn't someone to mess with. She led them into a small chamber and quickly explained about being sorted into one of four different house, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Gryffindor. She then turned and left them alone. Harry was just about to ask Ron how they were going to be sorted when three boys walked up to them.
Harry instantly recognized the one in the middle as the boy from Madam Malkin's. Harry was once again hit with a feeling of familiarity, this time so strong he was surprised he didn't fall over. He knew this boy. He knew he knew him, far more than from a brief meeting in a rob shop. In fact he felt as if he knew the boy better than he knew anyone else in the world. But that wasn't all. This time a new feeling accompanied the familiarity as he looked at the boy. He felt sad. Beyond sad, heartbroken as if he were about to cry.
Harry shook his head clearly his mind of those thoughts that he knew weren't his anyway. They belonged to the "something" that was inside him. He instead focused on just looking at the boy.
"Your Harry Potter, then?" the boy asked.
"Yes," Harry answered, as whispers started spreading in the group of first years around them.
"This is Crabbe and this is Goyle," the boy said indicating to the two boys who stood beside him. They were big and bulky looking and they stood by the other boy like body guards. "And I'm Malfoy, Draco Malfoy."
Ron coughed, which Harry was pretty sure was just covering a snigger. Harry wondered why Ron was laughing. So far Draco had been almost pleasant, much better than he had been in the shop. Harry wasn't sure he had done anything yet to deserve to be laughed at, that's why when Draco spoke next Harry only felt a little sorry for Ron.
"Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles and more children than they can afford."
He turned back to Harry. "You'll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there."
He held out his hand to shake Harry's. Harry hesitated. He didn't really like this Malfoy kid. He was just about to snub Draco Malfoy off with some cool comment when a voice in the back of his head said softly, 'Take his hand'. What? Harry thought. Where had that come from. 'Take his hand' the voice said again this time clearer. Without a second thought Harry took Draco's outstretched hand.
Harry felt a jolt run through him as soon as his skin made contact with Draco's. He looked up at the other boy who was looking at him with wide grey eyes. He had felt it too. Draco quickly covered his surprise by smiling slightly.
"Welcome to the club, Potter."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A three legged stool stood in front of them inside the Great Hall. Four tables of students sat staring at them, while a table of teachers sat behind them. On the stool sat an old battered looking wizard's hat. It had already surprised most of the first years by singing a spirited song. They had further surprised when they realized the hat was how they were to be sorted into their houses. Several students had already been sorted while the ones that hadn't waited for their turn.
"Malfoy, Draco," Professor McGonagall called out. Draco, who had been standing beside Harry swaggered forward and sat down on the stool. Professor McGonagall raised the hat over his head. It had barely touched him when it shouted "Slytherin!" The Slytherin table erupted in cheers as Draco made his way over to join Crabbe in Goyle.
All too soon "Potter, Harry" was being called and Harry was walking towards the stool. The whole hall filled with whispers of "Potter, did she say?" and "The Harry Potter?".
Harry sad down and the hat was dropped onto his head, falling over his eyes.
"Hmm," said a small voice in his ear. "Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, oh my goodness yes -- and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting. . . . So where shall I put you?"
Harry gripped the edges of the stool and thought, Not Slytherin, not Slytherin. Hagrid had told Harry all about Slytherin and how the turned out to be mostly bad wizards. Harry definitely didn't want to be in the same house as the person that killed his parents. The prospected alone terrified.
"Not Slytherin, eh?" said the small voice. "Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on your way to greatness, not doubt about that."
Harry was once again thinking, Not Slytherin, over in his head when a different voice suddenly interrupted his thoughts. It wasn't the voice of the sorting hat, nor was it his voice, it was the voice he had been hearing lately, the voice that told him to do things. 'Why not Slytherin' it said. 'It might not be that bad. After all, Draco's there, isn't he. Aren't you his friend now.' I don't know, Harry answered. What if all the things they say are true? 'You can't believe everything you hear. Go ahead, just think Slytherin..'
Well, I guess Slytherin might be okay.
"Slytherin!" The hat shouted. For a moment there was completely silence as Harry took off the hat and everyone stared at him, shocked. Then the Slytherin table burst into cheers, louder than they had cheered for anyone all night. Harry smiled slightly to himself as he made his way to the Slytherin table. Draco had pushed Crabbe over ruffly to make room for Harry. He was smiling widely at when he sat down and Harry had to think maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That night Harry had a dream. Or it seemed like a dream. It was really just flashes of images, so he really wasn't sure.
A man with a purple turban. A boy with red hair glaring. A large black dog. A dragon, a pair of red eyes, a globe of golden light, a shattering glass. A pale boy with blond hair laughing, sneering, crying. Glistening lips. Blood, screaming, still bodies. Maniacal laughter. The pale boy again covered in blood, head held high, surrounded by still bodies, as a man pointed a wand at him. Then flashing green light and the boy falling to the ground. Still.
The next morning the only things Harry remembered from his dream was the flash of green light, the still body, and the fact that the pale blond boy looked exactly like Draco.
-If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could
Stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame
To the grave--Linkin Park, Easier To Run
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, because I am such a hopeless loser and can never make up my mind I'm going to ask your help with a little problem I have with this story. You see I can't figure out if I should tell the story going through each year to show how things have changed or if I should just jump ahead to the sixth year. If I go through each year the slash won't be until much, much later in the story. If I jump to sixth year the slash will be sooner. Also if I start in the sixth year I'll explain the last five years in a series of flashbacks and explanations from both Harry's. I personally think it would be easier for me to just jump to sixth year but I'm not entirely sure. I need your help, so please tell me what you think I should do in your review: Go through the years or jump forward. Thanks, and the sooner you review and tell me the sooner I can write and get out the next chapter! Oh, and can some one please email me and tell me what exactly a beta is. I know they correct stuff but I'm not sure how it really works. I think I could really use one. REVIEW!