Series: The Trials of Sin 3/3

Title: Wait

Genre: Romance

Pairing: J/OC

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am serious. Even this machine is a rental. Pirates of the Caribbean, all its characters/places/things belongs to Disney. "Wait" was written by Sarah McLachlan and is taken from the Nettwerk records release "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy." I take no credit for the recognizable. I make no profit from this.

Summary: Tessa comes to the profound realization that she's given her heart to Jack, but it's too late.

Wait

Under a blackened sky
far beyond the glaring streetlights
sleeping on empty dreams
the vultures lie in wait
You lay down beside me then
you were with me every waking hour
so close

I could feel your breath…

She didn't need him. Her heart was on the verge of collapse in her chest, every breath was a struggle and she could feel the tears pouring in streams down her cheeks.

But she didn't need him.

Tessa Sinclair was a strong, independent woman. She'd been looking out for herself for years, long before the passing of Madame Lanois. She certainly needn't bother with some mangy pirate "captain," whose questionable appearance on the isle once every half decade or so made her heart flutter madly in her chest and her knees weak and rubbery under her skirts.

No, she certainly didn't need that. Then, why the agony? Why bother obsessing over something that was doing no good for her? Was it because of the way he held her in his arms that first night? The strength he possessed? The way he played her body like a valuable instrument, drawing pleasure forth from some fountain within that had never been touched again in his absence? Was it because, despite all the men in her life, he was the only one that made her feel like a woman?

Aye, that certainly had something to do with it. Now, as she sat on the balcony, staring out at the deadly calm of the open bay, her body racked with sobs, she didn't know what she was going to do.

..........

When all we wanted was the dream, to have and to hold that precious little thing, like every generation yields, the new born hope unjaded by their years. Jack needed a drink. Preferably an entire bottle, in which to indulge his fantasy wherein women folk never spoke, always smiled, and where ready and willin' when he needed them.

The reality was simply too complicated. The truth was: Jack was certain he didn't need them. Women, that is. What he needed was The Pearl, but since she'd been taken from him, he found himself aching for the comfort of a warm body in his bed. Warm flesh beneath his hands wasn't the same as The Pearl swaying heavily beneath his feet, but it would do just the same.

Pressed up against the glass, I found myself wanting sympathy, but to be consumed again, oh I know would be the death of me…

Rough calloused palms tracing over her delicate curves, memorizing them, sculpting her into something she wasn't, something she could never be. Something pure, innocent and sweet. That was all he longed for, something to hold that wasn't tainted, something that was completely and truly his.

and there is a love that's inherently given
a kind of blindness offered to appease

He wanted something so bad he could taste it. Yet he knew in his heart he wouldn't find what he was looking for on this island. He needed to leave, and right quick. He didn't know where he was going to go, but that didn't matter. He was Captain bloody Jack Sparrow. He would figure it out later. Right now, he needed a drink.

..........

What did he want? She certainly didn't know. He was a pirate through and through, and if the rumors were anything to go by, he wanted his ship back. But, something like that could take years. What would he seek in the interim? Would he seek satisfaction with every willing whore to come his way while pining for his one true love? A love born of wood and sails? The sea was in his eyes, and she'd heard it once in the soft beating of his heart when they'd lain together in the afterglow of their passion.

She wanted that look of love that entered his eyes when speaking of his ship to come alive when he looked upon her. But did he want that same love in return? She was almost sure that he didn't, and that knowledge brought with it an unquestionable agony.

and in that light of forbidden joy,

oh I know I won't receive it

She found him on the beach, alone. This relieved her, but didn't satisfy her. There was to be no satisfaction between them again, of any kind. "What are you still doing here, Jack?"

The former pirate Captain kept his eyes on the distant horizon, the soft surf washing up over the tips of his toes with no response. He swallowed sharply, taking another swig form the brown bottle clasped firmly in his hands, the last vestiges of the former glory of Jack Sparrow washing away with the receding tide. His shoulders slumped dramatically, and she knew that this moment was a rare one. Jack had let her in, but she also knew, deep down, that this was a brief glimpse, and was not meant to last. "I don't know, lass."

She sighed heavily, and moved to sit at his side on the wet sand. "Do you remember anything of me, Captain Sparrow?" While she asked, she removed the ring and chain from its resting place at her throat.

Jack cocked an eyebrow at the sight of the petty trinket. Of course he remembered her, didn't he? Images of sweet passion and flame curls floated briefly through the myriad of other erotic scenes in his memories, and he stopped. Yes. He had been her first, he recalled, and the ring had been the symbol of his claim over her. A claim he'd never bothered to attend to after the fact. Jack felt a guilty stone sinking in his gullet and he sighed.

"I can't give you what you want, lass. You're wise enough to know that." She was, of course. That didn't stop the lump from forming in her throat, or the wash of moisture that suddenly spread at the corners of her eyes. She clutched the ring in her fist and stared pointedly at the sea. They were both broken, it seemed.

That was it. They were both broken. Neither had the capacity to fix the other, each so badly torn there wasn't enough left to bind them together. She loved him though, if the ache in her chest was any indication.

But she didn't need him.

Love wasn't enough. Not for them. When all we wanted was the dream to have and to hold that precious little thing, like every generation yields the newborn hope unjaded by their years…


Tessa swallowed tightly, the muscles in her throat contracting stiffly as she spoke. Her voice was dry and raw. "Then you'll go, Captain. Go and find your love, wherever she may be. And maybe, when you find her, you'll come back and see me." She didn't try and hide the raw hope that has risen inside her. She turned to face him, a weak smile playing across her lips.

Jack leaned over and placed a tender, chaste kiss on her brow, his coal eyes lightening fractionally with a bit of their former sparkle. He was relieved. "You can bet on it lass."

.........

There's more to be found in "An Aye for a Bargain." Though it hasn't been updated since December, the next installment is on the way shortly.

Cheers!

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