"You suck, my body is so much better."
"Uh... what?"
"Yeah you heard me! Just because you have the features of a Greek god just like every other original character doesn't make you hotter then me. I don't see Irvine sticking it in you on a daily basis!"
"... how much Cura have you had today?"
"Enough to make me know better!!!"
I was completely dumbfounded. What was going on? What was this little piece of Trabian ass doing yelling at me? What could her last sentence have possibly meant? I seem to remember a good man once saying "a drug person can get used to seeing his dead grandmother crawling up his leg with a knife in her teeth, but no one should be asked to handle this trip." He never mentioned anything about coping with this while hungover. "Dogs expect if full. No fault of mine."
"What's that self-insertion boy? Ready to admit I have a nicer body then you do?" Then the vicious brute began clawing at my face. There is no way to describe this. It was like something out of Kafka.
After a lot of exchanged blows, I felt it was time to make my exit before I got accused of being a woman beater. I quickly sprinted down the hallway of the Garden and hid in a fountain so I could think things out in private. What brought on this attack? Did I even know her? The spirit of Zell suddenly appeared and sank down to the bottom of the water and gave me the answers. Her name was Selphie. She was jealous of my body. Obviously. And why not? Zell is right, I do have a body that is worth showing off. I am, after all, a self-inserted character. Thanks, Zell, now go on back to your body.
I woke up to a mercilessly large butch woman that was trying to bite my lips right off my face. Startled, I immediately cocked my fist up to ear level and brained her on the spot. A lot of commotion. Hazy faces. Apparently the woman was giving me mouth to mouth. I feel no remorse, however. I'm sure she had it coming anyway.
I sat up in a puddle of water, looked at all the blank faces, and casually walked away as if nothing had happened.
No point in getting worked up over that scene though, there are more important things to do. Like thank Zell.
After a seemingly never-ending walk around the Garden, I found myself back in the dorms. I was back in the L section, but I did have to pass the D's. Dincht. Okay, burst on in, don't believe anything you see, thank him, and get the hell out.
The room was thick with incense smoke. I couldn't see three feet in front of me. A pulsing white light emerged, gently dimming and lighting, and Zell's voice came to my head like a whisper of a god. "Come to me my child, tell me what ails you."
Well, this was not right. I hadn't used any substances the entire morning. This just couldn't be explained. I walked a few feet further and hit Zell's left shoe with my face. I took a nasty tumble.
"Zell, what the fuck are you doing up there? Stop hovering and get down." He didn't hear me though. He just went on, floating, pulsing with light, and talking. "The treasure you seek is before the elevator. In time you will get what you want, before the elevator. Go now, seek out knowledge, and take a hit from the little black jar by the door. Farewell, my grasshopper."
Uh... right. Move slowly. Don't attract any attention. Maybe I can get out with my life, so long as he doesn't move from his sitting/flying position. In my panic, I took more then a hint from the black bottle. I sort of took more like a shot. This was proving to be quite a weird morning.
I stumbled towards my room and knocked a person clear off his feet. He cursed me for being a drug-infested hippy, picked up his belongings, and went into a room across from mine. It was previously vacant. I tried to read the name tag, but whatever was in that bottle made the most powerful Cura in the world seem like a swig of a potion. Things were getting very ugly. I grasped onto the poor boy's collar when he came out, muttered something that must have been along the lines of "she's not his book for the first time either, swine" and then collapsed. He swatted at me with a broom until I finally rolled back into my room, where I slept for the next 60 hours.
"Uh... what?"
"Yeah you heard me! Just because you have the features of a Greek god just like every other original character doesn't make you hotter then me. I don't see Irvine sticking it in you on a daily basis!"
"... how much Cura have you had today?"
"Enough to make me know better!!!"
I was completely dumbfounded. What was going on? What was this little piece of Trabian ass doing yelling at me? What could her last sentence have possibly meant? I seem to remember a good man once saying "a drug person can get used to seeing his dead grandmother crawling up his leg with a knife in her teeth, but no one should be asked to handle this trip." He never mentioned anything about coping with this while hungover. "Dogs expect if full. No fault of mine."
"What's that self-insertion boy? Ready to admit I have a nicer body then you do?" Then the vicious brute began clawing at my face. There is no way to describe this. It was like something out of Kafka.
After a lot of exchanged blows, I felt it was time to make my exit before I got accused of being a woman beater. I quickly sprinted down the hallway of the Garden and hid in a fountain so I could think things out in private. What brought on this attack? Did I even know her? The spirit of Zell suddenly appeared and sank down to the bottom of the water and gave me the answers. Her name was Selphie. She was jealous of my body. Obviously. And why not? Zell is right, I do have a body that is worth showing off. I am, after all, a self-inserted character. Thanks, Zell, now go on back to your body.
I woke up to a mercilessly large butch woman that was trying to bite my lips right off my face. Startled, I immediately cocked my fist up to ear level and brained her on the spot. A lot of commotion. Hazy faces. Apparently the woman was giving me mouth to mouth. I feel no remorse, however. I'm sure she had it coming anyway.
I sat up in a puddle of water, looked at all the blank faces, and casually walked away as if nothing had happened.
No point in getting worked up over that scene though, there are more important things to do. Like thank Zell.
After a seemingly never-ending walk around the Garden, I found myself back in the dorms. I was back in the L section, but I did have to pass the D's. Dincht. Okay, burst on in, don't believe anything you see, thank him, and get the hell out.
The room was thick with incense smoke. I couldn't see three feet in front of me. A pulsing white light emerged, gently dimming and lighting, and Zell's voice came to my head like a whisper of a god. "Come to me my child, tell me what ails you."
Well, this was not right. I hadn't used any substances the entire morning. This just couldn't be explained. I walked a few feet further and hit Zell's left shoe with my face. I took a nasty tumble.
"Zell, what the fuck are you doing up there? Stop hovering and get down." He didn't hear me though. He just went on, floating, pulsing with light, and talking. "The treasure you seek is before the elevator. In time you will get what you want, before the elevator. Go now, seek out knowledge, and take a hit from the little black jar by the door. Farewell, my grasshopper."
Uh... right. Move slowly. Don't attract any attention. Maybe I can get out with my life, so long as he doesn't move from his sitting/flying position. In my panic, I took more then a hint from the black bottle. I sort of took more like a shot. This was proving to be quite a weird morning.
I stumbled towards my room and knocked a person clear off his feet. He cursed me for being a drug-infested hippy, picked up his belongings, and went into a room across from mine. It was previously vacant. I tried to read the name tag, but whatever was in that bottle made the most powerful Cura in the world seem like a swig of a potion. Things were getting very ugly. I grasped onto the poor boy's collar when he came out, muttered something that must have been along the lines of "she's not his book for the first time either, swine" and then collapsed. He swatted at me with a broom until I finally rolled back into my room, where I slept for the next 60 hours.