AN: yes It's been awhile and I'm sorry. I had to wait for my muse to switch back to Hogwarts. Remus/Severus Slash.
SORRY! It's come so late you've all probably given up hope by now... I'm so sorry...
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I sigh and look at Remus. He's standing there...waiting for me to say something... for me to give some reason for my unexpected visit. It's far to early for his potion after all.
"Remus...I..." Gods this wasn't going to be easy.
"I'm going away for a while..." Oh THAT sounded right.
"I mean..." He raises an eyebrow at me.
"Tea Severus?" I flop down into an overstuffed chair and put my head in my hands.
"No Remus no bloody tea...I'm going on an extended vacation and the headmaster insists I have someone with me since...since one of V-Voldemort's supporters has recently left Azkaban." There is silence, I look up and see him staring at me, his gaze calm and thoughtful.
"I see. And?"
"He suggested you." He sets down his cup of tea and his gaze becomes more intent, more focused. I lean back in my chair as he stalks towards me, and leans forward arms on either side of me, trapping me. He's always more predatory, the days of the full moon.
"Is that the only reason you're asking me Severus?" There's a tone in his voice that I have heard before, in a more honeyed voice of course, and they look NOTHING alike! But the mind is a strange thing, and for a fraction of a second, it is not Remus Lupin who has me cornered. It is Lucius, and in that fraction of a second I relive every moment of agonized torture.
"NO!" I'm over the back of the chair in a flash, which surprises us both really. He looks at me wide eyed.
"I'm sorry Severus...I just..." He shrugs helplessly, and for a moment, I'm fifteen again, in the library, after our first kiss. Those same words, that same tension, but not now, now I'm dirty, filthy. There was no second kiss, Sirius had seen to that. But now it was the chill of Malfoy's presence keeping us apart.
"It's...it's alright Remus." I take deep breaths till my breathing returns to normal.
"Perhaps you should ask someone else Severus..." I hesitate; it would be so easy to take this as a refusal and leave, to go all alone, and hide like a wounded animal. But I made a deal, and I will not break Albus's trust in me.
"The headmaster insisted it be you." He looks at me then, frowning. He knows that when Dumbledore insists, things are bad.
"What aren't you telling me Severus?" I shake my head, mouth firmly shut. Maybe someday I will be able to tell him, but for now, he is my closest friend. I want to keep things that way, just for a little while longer.
"No Lupin. Are you coming, or aren't you?" He growls, and then takes a deep breath, retreating to the other side of the room, giving me the extra space I need.
"Of course I will Severus. Tomorrows the last day, I'll meet you at the train platform." I nod and practically run out the door. I don't' know what happened. This morning I was myself, but with the announcement of Lucius's release...I was back to being the scared sixteen year old I had been that night. NO. I stop in the middle of the hall and allow my face to fall into its usual stony mask. No one must know.
No blood.
No tears.
Never again.
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AN: Well, that's it for this chapter, yes I know, it's a little odd, and far to short but please don't hurt me.cowers Please review, tell me you haven't given up on me completely. Puppy wolf eyes
SORRY! It's come so late you've all probably given up hope by now... I'm so sorry...
11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
I sigh and look at Remus. He's standing there...waiting for me to say something... for me to give some reason for my unexpected visit. It's far to early for his potion after all.
"Remus...I..." Gods this wasn't going to be easy.
"I'm going away for a while..." Oh THAT sounded right.
"I mean..." He raises an eyebrow at me.
"Tea Severus?" I flop down into an overstuffed chair and put my head in my hands.
"No Remus no bloody tea...I'm going on an extended vacation and the headmaster insists I have someone with me since...since one of V-Voldemort's supporters has recently left Azkaban." There is silence, I look up and see him staring at me, his gaze calm and thoughtful.
"I see. And?"
"He suggested you." He sets down his cup of tea and his gaze becomes more intent, more focused. I lean back in my chair as he stalks towards me, and leans forward arms on either side of me, trapping me. He's always more predatory, the days of the full moon.
"Is that the only reason you're asking me Severus?" There's a tone in his voice that I have heard before, in a more honeyed voice of course, and they look NOTHING alike! But the mind is a strange thing, and for a fraction of a second, it is not Remus Lupin who has me cornered. It is Lucius, and in that fraction of a second I relive every moment of agonized torture.
"NO!" I'm over the back of the chair in a flash, which surprises us both really. He looks at me wide eyed.
"I'm sorry Severus...I just..." He shrugs helplessly, and for a moment, I'm fifteen again, in the library, after our first kiss. Those same words, that same tension, but not now, now I'm dirty, filthy. There was no second kiss, Sirius had seen to that. But now it was the chill of Malfoy's presence keeping us apart.
"It's...it's alright Remus." I take deep breaths till my breathing returns to normal.
"Perhaps you should ask someone else Severus..." I hesitate; it would be so easy to take this as a refusal and leave, to go all alone, and hide like a wounded animal. But I made a deal, and I will not break Albus's trust in me.
"The headmaster insisted it be you." He looks at me then, frowning. He knows that when Dumbledore insists, things are bad.
"What aren't you telling me Severus?" I shake my head, mouth firmly shut. Maybe someday I will be able to tell him, but for now, he is my closest friend. I want to keep things that way, just for a little while longer.
"No Lupin. Are you coming, or aren't you?" He growls, and then takes a deep breath, retreating to the other side of the room, giving me the extra space I need.
"Of course I will Severus. Tomorrows the last day, I'll meet you at the train platform." I nod and practically run out the door. I don't' know what happened. This morning I was myself, but with the announcement of Lucius's release...I was back to being the scared sixteen year old I had been that night. NO. I stop in the middle of the hall and allow my face to fall into its usual stony mask. No one must know.
No blood.
No tears.
Never again.
111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
AN: Well, that's it for this chapter, yes I know, it's a little odd, and far to short but please don't hurt me.cowers Please review, tell me you haven't given up on me completely. Puppy wolf eyes