Jennifer spent a few hours explaining most of the things she could think of, then decided that it would be a good idea to let Raziel see things for himself. He had sensibly taken Jennifer's advice on walking around as a demon, so she carried him under one arm. Everything was new to him. Overwhelmed, he begged her to take him back to the safety of the apartment.
Raziel adapted readily enough to his new life. It was strange at first to be trapped in the physical realm, and he didn't need to feed on souls anymore. He found that his new nature as a plushy gave him the ability to survive on nothing more than the occasional sacrifice of a cookie and some imaginary tea.
After that first dizzying trip into the outside world, Raziel was reluctant to leave the apartment again. Jennifer had shown him how the television worked, and he was content enough to sit and watch passively. Raziel sunk into the pervasive worlds of other people's stories. He spent much of his time reading or playing video games. Jennifer recognized his dedication as a way to escape his own reality.
The problem with this, Jennifer realized, was that Raziel was sometimes forsaking the real world. She recounted a time when she had seen Raziel begin to play 'Jak and Daxter.'
Raziel gasped in horror as the plucky young sidekick was knocked into the pool of ooze. He watched in mute fascination as the character was ejected from the pool as some sort of weasel. Jennifer struggled not to giggle as she noticed Raziel's reaction to the creature's hysterics. It was supposed to be funny, but she could see that Raziel did not feel that way. His claws gouged light scratches into the controller. She suspected that the situation had hit just a little too close to home.
Several days later, she found that Raziel had played to the final section of the game. He was swaying back and forth, idly humming to the music as he played. Obviously, he was completely entranced by the game. Jennifer wondered if such behavior was healthy, even for someone who had been through Raziel's trauma.
Another time, she had awoken to find that Raziel had been watching cartoons the entire night. She walked in to find him singing along to the 'Beany and Cecil' theme song. She saw that he enjoyed the slightly nonsensical themes of those old stories. Jennifer had noticed earlier that Raziel had abandoned reading Lovecraft stories.
Fearing a shift in his personality, Jennifer put her foot down. "Come on, Raziel, you're going to get some fresh air and sunshine."
Once again, Raziel found himself seeing the world from the eyes of a doll. He draped limply over her shoulder, strapped to her backpack. "You do realize that I am incapable of breathing this fresh air or feeling the sunshine," Raziel reminded Jennifer.
"You needed to get out of the house," Jennifer muttered quietly, afraid that someone would hear her talking to her plushy.
"Wait, do you see that?" Raziel asked, squirming.
"Be still," Jennifer warned. "What do you see?"
"That girl is wearing my clan symbol," Raziel said.
"I wear your clan symbol too sometimes," Jennifer said, noticing the girl. "I wonder what would happen if you snuck up on her," she added, feeling malicious.
After an hour of careful maneuvering, the pair finally followed the girl to a fairly secluded spot. Raziel dropped to the ground and assumed his true form. Jennifer hung back as he approached the strange girl. The girl noticed Raziel and stood perfectly still for a moment. Suddenly, she shrieked, "RAZZY!" and wrapped her arms around his waist.
Raziel cringed in surprise and fought her off with amazing restraint. Despite her protests, he started to run away. Much to his horror, the girl managed to match his speed. It took the better part of the day to lose her. When he finally came back to Jennifer, she just laughed at him. Raziel glared at her fiercely. She touched the bridge of her nose with one finger and immediately stopped giggling, but her eyes still shone with hidden laughter. A distant cry of "RAZIEL!" told him that he hadn't lost his pursuer. He immediately reverted to plushy form and Jennifer shoved him into her backpack.
"What was with her?" Raziel asked, deeply troubled by this incident.
"I'm not sure," Jennifer said, "but I do know that there are others just like her wandering around."
Raziel refused to come out of Jennifer's backpack during the long bus ride home. A steady stream of soft blips from the backpack told Jennifer that Raziel was amusing himself with her electronic block puzzle. She decided that yes, indeed, her little friend was still depraved.
Once they got back to Jennifer's apartment, Raziel slowly crawled out of her backpack and grew to his full height. "I want the ability to walk around this world," he said. "I feel so helpless as a doll."
"What would you have me do?" Jennifer asked.
"Would it be so difficult for you to make me look human?" Raziel asked.
Jennifer gently laid a hand across his back. Raziel felt her grab his tabard and swiftly pluck it away. He screamed in outrage.
"You think of yourself as a ghoul," Jennifer said. "That is why you now appear like this."
Raziel twitched in pain. "Why does it hurt?"
"Because you think of this as part of yourself," she said, indicating the ragged banner in her hand. She handed it back to Raziel.
He took the cloth and draped it back around his face. "That was not necessary," Raziel accused.
"Call it an object lesson," Jennifer said. "You don't remember this, but when I first pulled you out of the game you looked much different. I had to strip thousands of years from your memory to get you to assume this form. Before, you would only turn into that glowing sword."
Raziel stared at Jennifer. She couldn't quite read the expression in his eyes.
"Check out these pictures," Jennifer said, turning to the computer. She called up an image of herself, holding the Wraith Blade. Her eyes were squinted against its light, and she held it as if it were heavy.
"I don't see how that was possible." Raziel said.
Jennifer shrugged, "I don't either. Strictly speaking, none of this is possible."
"So it is possible to give me another form, return me to a way I once was," Raziel said.
"I don't want to remove any more memories from you, Raziel. The first thing you would lose is your memories of your life here. Besides, I took you back to when your personality was at its best," Jennifer said, standing up and lightly flicking Raziel's hair away from his eyes.
Raziel shrank from the touch and thought back to the shock of seeing his human self for the first time. He did not see the value in letting that bastard live again. Raziel realized that he couldn't remember much of his life as a vampire, either. Raziel knew what his brothers had looked like, but he couldn't recall a single face from his clan. In the latter case, he realized that none of his clan had truly existed, as his world wasn't real.
Raziel shook himself from his reverie and looked at Jennifer's concerned expression. "I don't enjoy looking like this," he said, "and I don't enjoy knowing that I am nothing more than a character from some fantasy world."
"You can change your appearance, all you need to do is identify with the form you desire." Jennifer said.
"And then what?" Raziel demanded. "I'm still a fictional character. There's nothing for me."
"You can make a life for yourself here, Raziel. It doesn't matter who you were or where you came from. What matters now is your decisions now that you're here," Jennifer said.
Raziel adapted readily enough to his new life. It was strange at first to be trapped in the physical realm, and he didn't need to feed on souls anymore. He found that his new nature as a plushy gave him the ability to survive on nothing more than the occasional sacrifice of a cookie and some imaginary tea.
After that first dizzying trip into the outside world, Raziel was reluctant to leave the apartment again. Jennifer had shown him how the television worked, and he was content enough to sit and watch passively. Raziel sunk into the pervasive worlds of other people's stories. He spent much of his time reading or playing video games. Jennifer recognized his dedication as a way to escape his own reality.
The problem with this, Jennifer realized, was that Raziel was sometimes forsaking the real world. She recounted a time when she had seen Raziel begin to play 'Jak and Daxter.'
Raziel gasped in horror as the plucky young sidekick was knocked into the pool of ooze. He watched in mute fascination as the character was ejected from the pool as some sort of weasel. Jennifer struggled not to giggle as she noticed Raziel's reaction to the creature's hysterics. It was supposed to be funny, but she could see that Raziel did not feel that way. His claws gouged light scratches into the controller. She suspected that the situation had hit just a little too close to home.
Several days later, she found that Raziel had played to the final section of the game. He was swaying back and forth, idly humming to the music as he played. Obviously, he was completely entranced by the game. Jennifer wondered if such behavior was healthy, even for someone who had been through Raziel's trauma.
Another time, she had awoken to find that Raziel had been watching cartoons the entire night. She walked in to find him singing along to the 'Beany and Cecil' theme song. She saw that he enjoyed the slightly nonsensical themes of those old stories. Jennifer had noticed earlier that Raziel had abandoned reading Lovecraft stories.
Fearing a shift in his personality, Jennifer put her foot down. "Come on, Raziel, you're going to get some fresh air and sunshine."
Once again, Raziel found himself seeing the world from the eyes of a doll. He draped limply over her shoulder, strapped to her backpack. "You do realize that I am incapable of breathing this fresh air or feeling the sunshine," Raziel reminded Jennifer.
"You needed to get out of the house," Jennifer muttered quietly, afraid that someone would hear her talking to her plushy.
"Wait, do you see that?" Raziel asked, squirming.
"Be still," Jennifer warned. "What do you see?"
"That girl is wearing my clan symbol," Raziel said.
"I wear your clan symbol too sometimes," Jennifer said, noticing the girl. "I wonder what would happen if you snuck up on her," she added, feeling malicious.
After an hour of careful maneuvering, the pair finally followed the girl to a fairly secluded spot. Raziel dropped to the ground and assumed his true form. Jennifer hung back as he approached the strange girl. The girl noticed Raziel and stood perfectly still for a moment. Suddenly, she shrieked, "RAZZY!" and wrapped her arms around his waist.
Raziel cringed in surprise and fought her off with amazing restraint. Despite her protests, he started to run away. Much to his horror, the girl managed to match his speed. It took the better part of the day to lose her. When he finally came back to Jennifer, she just laughed at him. Raziel glared at her fiercely. She touched the bridge of her nose with one finger and immediately stopped giggling, but her eyes still shone with hidden laughter. A distant cry of "RAZIEL!" told him that he hadn't lost his pursuer. He immediately reverted to plushy form and Jennifer shoved him into her backpack.
"What was with her?" Raziel asked, deeply troubled by this incident.
"I'm not sure," Jennifer said, "but I do know that there are others just like her wandering around."
Raziel refused to come out of Jennifer's backpack during the long bus ride home. A steady stream of soft blips from the backpack told Jennifer that Raziel was amusing himself with her electronic block puzzle. She decided that yes, indeed, her little friend was still depraved.
Once they got back to Jennifer's apartment, Raziel slowly crawled out of her backpack and grew to his full height. "I want the ability to walk around this world," he said. "I feel so helpless as a doll."
"What would you have me do?" Jennifer asked.
"Would it be so difficult for you to make me look human?" Raziel asked.
Jennifer gently laid a hand across his back. Raziel felt her grab his tabard and swiftly pluck it away. He screamed in outrage.
"You think of yourself as a ghoul," Jennifer said. "That is why you now appear like this."
Raziel twitched in pain. "Why does it hurt?"
"Because you think of this as part of yourself," she said, indicating the ragged banner in her hand. She handed it back to Raziel.
He took the cloth and draped it back around his face. "That was not necessary," Raziel accused.
"Call it an object lesson," Jennifer said. "You don't remember this, but when I first pulled you out of the game you looked much different. I had to strip thousands of years from your memory to get you to assume this form. Before, you would only turn into that glowing sword."
Raziel stared at Jennifer. She couldn't quite read the expression in his eyes.
"Check out these pictures," Jennifer said, turning to the computer. She called up an image of herself, holding the Wraith Blade. Her eyes were squinted against its light, and she held it as if it were heavy.
"I don't see how that was possible." Raziel said.
Jennifer shrugged, "I don't either. Strictly speaking, none of this is possible."
"So it is possible to give me another form, return me to a way I once was," Raziel said.
"I don't want to remove any more memories from you, Raziel. The first thing you would lose is your memories of your life here. Besides, I took you back to when your personality was at its best," Jennifer said, standing up and lightly flicking Raziel's hair away from his eyes.
Raziel shrank from the touch and thought back to the shock of seeing his human self for the first time. He did not see the value in letting that bastard live again. Raziel realized that he couldn't remember much of his life as a vampire, either. Raziel knew what his brothers had looked like, but he couldn't recall a single face from his clan. In the latter case, he realized that none of his clan had truly existed, as his world wasn't real.
Raziel shook himself from his reverie and looked at Jennifer's concerned expression. "I don't enjoy looking like this," he said, "and I don't enjoy knowing that I am nothing more than a character from some fantasy world."
"You can change your appearance, all you need to do is identify with the form you desire." Jennifer said.
"And then what?" Raziel demanded. "I'm still a fictional character. There's nothing for me."
"You can make a life for yourself here, Raziel. It doesn't matter who you were or where you came from. What matters now is your decisions now that you're here," Jennifer said.