Torn

Title: Torn 1/1

Author: Kerry Johnston

Disclaimer: I own no one, nothing so don't bother to sue me.

Summary: She loves him more than anything but she can't take the pressure of being Mrs. Vincent K. McMahon any longer. Read the heartache she endures as she comes to the most painful decision of her life and one that will forever shape her own future and those around her.

She sat at the kitchen table, a plain piece of paper at the ready and a pen poised, desperately seeking the right words to explain why she was doing this to him. It certainly wasn't a decision she had come to easily, it was only after a lot of soul searching and countless tears that she had made this heart wrenching decision. She just couldn't do it anymore, being Mrs. Vincent Kennedy McMahon was no easy feat but she had carried it off to perfection for nearly forty years, fooling everyone, including her husband, her children, her business associates, her friends and even her most bitter enemies.

But no more, she couldn't put on this façade any longer, she was desperate to break free of it all – the hard but rewarding slog that came with being Chief Executive Officer of World Wrestling Entertainment, something she loved but she couldn't bear coming home to Greenwich, Connecticut and attending all the latest social functions that only the Greenwich Elite were invited too. She was sick of putting on an act in front of everyone, but unfortunately when you were a McMahon and living in one of the plushest areas of North America, it was what everyone expected of you.

Her eyes flittered over to her suitcases that she had packed, ready to leave this house and Greenwich, never to return, not to mention Vince and the company that they had built together with so much hard work, dedication, devotion and sacrifice.

Tears filled her eyes and she looked at the clock on the wall, only fifteen minutes before she would leave this house for good and she still couldn't find the words to explain to him why.

He was on the road, getting ready for the Live Raw show that Monday night, she had waited until he was on the road because she didn't have the guts to tell him face to face, she couldn't have stood to see the look on his face, the look of shock, confusion and heartbreak that would dawn on his face as he read this, as yet, unwritten letter. She wondered what he would think when he phoned her at home that night after Raw was finished, and he was back at his hotel, as he did without fail every Monday night, and got no reply. She knew he would probably go out of his mind with worry as she wasn't going to take her cell phone with her either, she was not going to leave a forwarding address or telephone number, all she was taking was her clothes and some money she had saved of her own. She wasn't going to take anything from him; it was enough that she was leaving him in this way, without fleecing him of material possessions too.

It was better like this, how it needed to be done, she would just disappear from his life and after a while, he would move on and fall in love with another woman, someone who could stand the pressures of being Vince's wife. He was Vince McMahon, he could have any woman his heart desired and yet he had chosen her and she was leaving him like this. She shook the thought off; she couldn't afford to think like that, it was best for everyone, for him and for her.

As she thought, it dawned on her that she could never explain what she was doing, there were no right words to say to him. It would never be right that she was just leaving him without so much as a goodbye kiss after nearly forty years of marriage. With a deep breath and a shaking hand she made motions to write the letter, she paused and a voice within her told her to get on with it, it would get any easier. With self disgust creeping up within her, she began to write…

My Dear Darling Vince,

Clichéd as it may sound I need you to know this is the hardest letter I have ever had to write; in fact it's the hardest thing that I have ever had to do, period. You deserve so much better than this honey, but I just don't have the guts or courage to tell you face to face, something that I absolutely despise myself for. This letter I will write from my heart Vince, not that it makes it any better but I am trying to explain to you why I've done this.

Vince, I am so, so, so sorry but I'm leaving you. I know this has probably come as a huge shock but the truth is I just cannot take the pressure of being Mrs. V K McMahon any more. This is nothing to do with you, you are all I have ever wanted and all I'll ever need, you have been the best husband in the world to me but I can't stay.

It's so hard being Mrs. McMahon, but it's also one of the best things that ever happened to me. Being a McMahon has many advantages, as you know, and the best things that have ever happened in this period of my life was being with you and the fact that we created two beautiful children together out of our love for one another. My job as WWE CEO is one I cherish deeply and have always loved and enjoyed, even though it can be very hard work some days. The thing I cannot take though, is coming home after work and attending social functions with people whom I don't know, who are two faced and to be quite honest, people I don't even like.

I've tried to tell you all of this, but I couldn't, I didn't want to let you down but now I've done just that and broken your heat in the process, something I will never forgive myself for, as long as I live. I'm not proud of the way I'm breaking this to you Vince, in fact I'm downright ashamed of it but I need you to know, although it may not seem like it right now, I love you with all of my heart and will forever love you. I realise that in leaving you, I can never return and see you ever again, I could not stand to see the damage that I am doing to you. I'm a coward and a selfish, bad, horrible person and you deserve so much better than me. I know how much you love me and yet I am doing this to you, this probably doesn't make sense to you and to be quite honest, it doesn't make sense to me either. I don't mean to hurt you darling, that is the last thing I would ever want but I simply cannot do it any longer, I've tried so hard for you but I could never live up to the kind of wife that you so truly deserve.

I don't know why now I have come to this decision, we've been through so many tough times, the steroid trial, the war with WCW and other testing times but yet I never did this. You need someone who can stand the pressures of being a McMahon and although I played the part well, there was always a self doubt within me, and now I cannot take that self doubt any longer.

In the future you will find someone who will be able to withstand that constant pressure and who will love you and take care of you like I did. You were the man I had always dreamed of, the man who I fell in love with when I was barely more than a girl and the man who taught me about life and love and what it meant. I've learnt so many things from you darling and a part of you will always be with me, just like the best of me will forever be with you. We could have lived a lifetime together in a cardboard box and I would have been happy, but socialising with the Greenwich Elite just isn't me but yet, I know I probably seemed to grow into the act after all of these years but the truth is, I never did, I hated every second of the social functions and the pretence that everyone puts on when we are part of that scene. I love you and you love me but you need more than I can give Vince and for that I am truly sorry.

I guess there is not much more left to say except that I'm sorry and I love you so very much. I don't know how I'm am going to live my life without you in it, I guess I will just have to live with a void in my life that no one but you will ever be ale to fill.

This letter probably does not give all the answers to the questions you will be asking yourself and for that I am truly sorry, you deserve better than this but me, being the coward I am just cannot give it.

You won't see me again, I have taken only my clothes and some money that I had saved, I think its better this way, I've left without trace and in time, you will forget about me. I don't want anything from you Vince, no lengthy court battles, I won't fight you for the company, the house, anything, and I don't even want my job. I've hurt you so much and I will never ever forgive myself for it and I don't want to hurt you anymore.

You've been my partner in life and in business for nearly forty years, but now I'm tagging out for good sweetheart, you'll do so much better without me. Be happy sweetheart and remember I will forever love you and no man will ever replace you in my heart, you'll always be my one true love.

You have my heart, my soul and my love for eternity,

Linda xxx

Tears streamed down her face and she put the letter in the envelope, sealed it and wrote his name across it and placed it on the kitchen table so he would see it when he walked in.

She heard a car pull up in the driveway and got up to answer the front door, the taxi driver stood there.

"My suitcases are just through there," she pointed in the direction of the kitchen.

"Yes ma'm," the driver said nodding and walking through to the kitchen.

She watched him make three trips back and forth for the six suitcases that she had managed to fill and he got into the car and waited for her.

Linda took one last look around the place she had called home for the past twenty plus years. Her eyes settled on an intimate photo on the telephone table of her and Vince and she picked it up. It was a photo that had been taken backstage at WrestleMania XX. They were standing in front of the WrestleMania XX logo, Vince was wearing a black suit and tie and Linda was in a white pantsuit, they had their arms around one another and were laughing, Vince had just told her a joke, she smiled as she remembered it, Vince was always picking the most inappropriate moments to tell jokes, it was one of the things that first made her fall in love with him. They had made a stunning couple both in life and in business for the past forty years but Linda couldn't be that woman any longer, she was leaving her behind.

She had promised herself that she wouldn't take any mementos with her but she couldn't resist just this one, she gently slid it into her handbag, took one last look around and slowly walked out, closing the door on the luxurious house that she and Vince had designed together.

With a gentle click, the door closed on the past forty years of Linda's life, she didn't know where the future was going to take her and at that moment she didn't really care.

THE END