The standard disclaimers apply, I do not own Raziel or anything else from LOK and if they saw what I was doing to their characters they would probably boot me in the head.
The moment passed. Raziel wasn't sure why he didn't tell Jennifer about his true feelings. He couldn't say that he had lost his nerve; he had been through too much to let such an insignificant thing as feelings to bother him. Then he paused for a moment to consider if this line of thinking was wrong.
Raziel dismissed all those thoughts. He wasn't sure exactly what he had been thinking. Instead, he examined Jennifer's game collection.
"How did you find me?" Raziel suddenly asked.
Jennifer smiled in slight embarrassment as she admitted, "It was an accident."
Raziel curiously raised his eyebrows.
Jennifer picked up Soul Reaver 2. "I didn't know what I was getting myself into, it just looked like an interesting game." She set the box down again and remarked wistfully, "It was supposed to be just a simple revenge story, something that no one would get obsessed with."
Raziel jumped slightly, "What do you mean?"
Jennifer stared at Raziel, trying to read his mood. He was only slightly tense. Jennifer composed her thoughts and said, "You saw it in the streams of time. When you reached the bottom of the chronoplast, you were supposed to battle Kain again and he was supposed to escape to his citadel instead of going into the past." Jennifer paused and struggled to remember the rest. "I'm not sure about most of the details, but it ends when you repair the silenced cathedral and kill every vampire in Nosgoth."
"That would have meant victory for him," Raziel said bitterly, speaking of the Elder God.
Raziel turned back to Jennifer. "So, you were obsessed with the story, and you decided to pull me out of it."
Jennifer shook her head. "The story was just the hook. If that was all that I cared about, I wouldn't need to bring you here."
He gazed at Jennifer and reflected back on his feelings. Raziel gently laid his hands on her shoulders. "Jennifer, I have something to tell you," he said gently.
Jennifer stared into Raziel's eyes. Her expression was completely open and honest.
Raziel hesitated. He found that he would rather face down a horde of demons than his own emotions. Instead of speaking, he slowly leaned towards Jennifer. He kissed her tenderly. Jennifer returned his kiss gratefully.
The two retreated to the bedroom, but that's where the cruelty of their situation sunk in. It was not only rage, but also any powerful emotional state that caused Raziel to revert to his wraith form. He immediately flung Jennifer away from himself; the horror of what had happened caused him to shake. He turned away from her in shame.
Jennifer gently laid her fingers on Raziel's arm. She had realized why this happened, and all she wanted to do was comfort him.
"You must find me repulsive," Raziel choked.
"Raziel, you know that you're not your body," Jennifer said gently. "And I don't care what form you take." She pulled on Raziel's arm, forcing him to turn around and face her.
Jennifer gazed into Raziel's eyes for a long moment, and then she slowly reached up and stroked his brow. Her hand wandered down the side of Raziel's face. She stopped at his cowl, her fingers lingering on its edge. It was a question of respect, but Jennifer also knew that it would hurt Raziel unless he gave it up willingly.
Raziel reluctantly unwrapped his drape from his shoulders, letting it drop to his side. Jennifer brought her other hand up to Raziel's face and cradled his head gently between her palms. Without breaking her gaze, Jennifer slowly leaned towards Raziel. She let the side of her nose brush against his and then tenderly kissed his exposed fangs. Either this would prove to Raziel that Jennifer could love him in this form, or it would drive him away forever. Jennifer knew that she had to take this risk.
Raziel gently reached for Jennifer and held her loosely. His body had no softness; a tighter embrace would've been uncomfortable or even painful for Jennifer. Raziel watched her face. She did not flinch at his touch. Raziel wondered in agony how she could possibly tolerate being so close to his ruined form. He had been so repulsed by himself that he could barely endure it.
Raziel stiffened in grief. He wished that he had tears so he could cry. "Why?" He whispered softly.
"You are not your body," Jennifer affirmed. Her voice was strained with sympathetic sadness. "Know that you are beautiful."
They stayed in that sad embrace for a long time, and then they sank back to the bed. Both of them were emotionally exhausted. Raziel was on his back and staring at the ceiling. Jennifer lay nestled against his side, her head pillowed on his chest. She idly stroked his ribs.
"Can you feel this, Raziel?" Jennifer gently asked.
Raziel rolled his gaze towards Jennifer. "I am aware of your touch, but that is all. I am almost numb."
Jennifer heard how Raziel's voice echoed hollowly though his chest. She shifted in an effort to meet his gaze. Instead, she saw how the roof of Raziel's mouth was also burned away, revealing his nasal passages. Jennifer allowed herself a second of fascination before she nuzzled back against Raziel's chest. "I'm sorry, Raziel."
He gently stroked his claws through Jennifer's hair. "Don't be sorry." Raziel allowed himself to mourn for the pleasures of the flesh that were denied to him, but he also knew that he had found something far more precious.
"Why were you willing to let me leave if you cared this much about me?" Raziel finally asked.
"If you love someone, you let them go. If they don't come back, they were never yours to begin with," Jennifer sighed sadly. "You would've grown to hate me if I had forced you to stay."
Raziel sighed inwardly, knowing she was right. He was used to the gambits and manipulations of others; it was his pride in his free will that often led him into their traps. He wondered if this was different, but his own mind told him that this was truly what he wanted. Raziel knew that even if he had instantly fallen in love with Jennifer, he would've resented being held captive. It was bad enough that one day when she had forced him not to go after Kain.