Raziel and Jennifer settled into a normal pattern of life. Well, it was as normal as was possible for a supernatural creature and a mage.

Jennifer kept track of Kain through the online boards. Each comment brought a new round of insults about the poster's grip on reality. This brought retorts from the people who had actually met Kain and believed in the news stories about Janos. Jennifer did not feel the need to add her voice to the argument, it was more important to preserve Raziel's privacy.

Azrael had disappeared at some point. Jennifer was a bit worried at this, especially since she saw signs that Kain was also trying to find the lost vampire. Jennifer imagined that perhaps Azrael had found someone who was just as unwilling to expose his location as she was. She was thankful that there was no bad news that indicated his situation.

Janos and Raziel sat on Jennifer's balcony. Janos was perched on a tall stool. He found it was the more comfortable than any other seat Jennifer had because it allowed him to hold his wings in a relaxed pose without damaging his feathers. Raziel had the luxury of normal patio furniture. Currently, Janos was teaching Raziel the finer points of a strategy game that the ancient vampires had enjoyed; it resembled checkers, except that it involved the six elements.

"Your mind is not on the game," Janos said gently.

Raziel had been distractedly fiddling with a piece that was marked with the elemental symbol for fire. "My mind is on a game, just not this one," he confessed. He was thinking back to what Kain had said about how not knowing was worse. Janos seemed to have recovered from the latest blow to his beliefs; perhaps it was finally time to tell him the truth.

"What is the matter?" Janos asked in concern.

Raziel struggled with the gravity of what he was preparing to say. He stared Janos straight in the eye and said, "Nosgoth doesn't really exist."

Janos did not say anything; his face clouded over in confusion.

"Until the moment we arrived here, our lives were nothing more than a fantasy," Raziel continued.

Janos silently scoffed, "There is no possible way that the richness of Nosgoth's existence could be a mere fantasy."

"No, it's true," Raziel said. "Jennifer has the proof."

Janos slowly slipped off of his seat and said gently, "Very well, show me this proof."

Raziel led Janos back into the apartment. Jennifer was sitting on the couch and working on a mental agility exercise. Her breathing was measured as she controlled three spheres of magical energy, each one playing out a different part of a song. Raziel lightly brushed his hand against one of the spheres, disrupting its melody. Jennifer's eyes snapped open. The spheres jangled discordantly, but did not dissipate. She looked at the two former bloodsuckers for a moment, and then let the spheres fade away.

"I want you to show him the game," Raziel said.

Jennifer stuck the disk into the machine and called up the saved game. She did not offer Raziel the controller; she knew his sentiments about playing himself. It was the part of Soul Reaver 2 where Raziel was about to re-enter the Seraphan stronghold for the last time. Instead of going out across the frozen lake, she turned the miniature avatar back in the wrong direction.

"Do you see now, Janos?" Raziel asked.

Janos Audron was strangely calm for someone whose very reality was being challenged. "We have ways of making images that are much more realistic than this," he said. "Did you really fall for this crude portrayal?"

Raziel was speechless. He was aware of the limitations of the PS2, and how the graphics would only be a representation of what he remembered experiencing, but this was his life.

"I think that whoever made this is aware of Nosgoth, but we are not fantasy," Janos said, waving his hand dismissively at the screen.

"Can you be so sure?" Raziel asked. He wasn't sure himself, but it wasn't so disturbing to think that his problems stemmed from the imagination of a sick mind.

Jennifer fiddled with the controller. She was toying with the idea of showing them the voice actors, but decided against it. She had seen the slippery nature of their reality when Kain and Raziel couldn't hear that the same actor did the voice of both the original Mortainus and the Squid. Janos would probably not be able to hear his own voice coming out of a human's mouth, and even if Raziel accepted his actor, he probably would be disturbed to see how old the guy was.

"Don't bother with reality," Brightflame suddenly said. She had been napping on top of the bookcase, but now she spread her wings and leapt. The little dragon didn't have the power to defy the laws of physics anymore, so instead of gently gliding down, she landed with an undignified 'poof.'

"What's this?" Janos asked, picking the dragon up off the floor and cradling her like a child.

"Brightflame is a plushy," Jennifer said.

Janos gently stroked Brightflame's cloth hide, fascinated with her appearance.

Raziel hoped that Janos would believe this next bit of news. It was more important than whether or not Nosgoth really existed. "We are also plushies," Raziel said.

Janos pulled his gaze away from Brightflame and stared at Raziel. "I can see that we are flesh," Janos insisted.

"It's just an illusion," Raziel said, sitting in the recliner. He shifted to his wraith form for a moment, then dropped to his plush form."

Janos backed away involuntarily. "But you can change your appearance at will," he said hesitantly.

"This has been my true form ever since I was brought here," Raziel said, standing up on the cushion of the recliner. "The illusion is the reason why I could gain a less grotesque appearance."

"I am flesh," Janos insisted, but it sounded like he was only trying to reassure himself.

"Don't make me prove that you aren't," Jennifer said quietly.

"No," Brightflame told Jennifer. "Allow me."

The little dragon gazed into Janos' eyes. He pulled his attention away from her and looked at his own talon. He saw that what he thought was his body was truly only a shadow, and he became aware of the cloth that he was made of. The angel gasped in shock and dropped Brightflame. Janos ran out onto the balcony, but Raziel grabbed him in a bear hug and held him from flying away.

Janos did not struggle, but his body shuddered with his panicked wheezing. Raziel winced as he felt some of Janos' feathers shred against his arm, but he didn't dare let go of his hysterical friend. They crouched on the balcony in that embrace until Janos' breathing slowed and he calmed down.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner," Raziel said as he released Janos. "We were afraid of how you would react."

"I would have killed myself," Janos said stonily. He was on his knees and huddled against his disturbed emotions.

Raziel sighed sadly. He wondered if he had still waited too long, or not long enough.

"I have made a life for myself here," Janos said, the strength returning to his voice. "I cannot simply abandon it now."

"There is no reason why you can't continue living as you have been," Raziel said, relieved that Janos seemed to be regaining his senses.

They both stood and walked into the apartment again. Jennifer's question shone clearly on her face; Raziel answered it with a nod. Janos distractedly straightened his ruffled feathers while Jennifer and Raziel took turns answering his questions about plushy existence.

Janos' emotional outburst had exhausted him. He had been hunched over in one of the low dining room chairs, but his forehead sunk to his knees and he fell asleep. Raziel gently lowered Janos to the floor and stretched him in a more comfortable position.

Raziel spent the entire night in silent vigil over Janos. The angel was peacefully curled up in sleep, having twisted into a comfortable position sometime in the night. Raziel still could not help but think of those times when he had seen Janos lying in death, the gaping hole in his chest that Raziel had made when he ripped out his heart. Though that was many lifetimes ago, and he couldn't remember doing it, Raziel was still haunted by it.

Janos woke up slowly. At first, he couldn't remember why he had been sleeping on Jennifer's floor, but then his thoughts came into focus. He levered himself up and saw that Raziel had been watching over him. "You didn't sleep at all?" Janos asked quietly.

"Sleep is optional for me," Raziel said. "How are you feeling?"

Janos stretched against his stiff muscles. "I feel perfectly ordinary."

"You're not going to kill yourself," Raziel said it as a statement, but he felt like it was a question.

"I told you, I have a life here," Janos said, his voice taking a slight edge of impatience. He paused to calm himself. "I refuse to keep living forever. Once I again start losing those that I know, I will follow them into death."

Raziel accepted this. He had only just begun to appreciate the weariness that could come from an endless existence when he was pulled into a life that made him forget that.

"It's my fault that you're here," Raziel said. "I asked her to do it."

"I'll only forgive you if you stop talking about it," Janos said in mild irritation.

Raziel was hurt by Janos' attitude. He recognized what Janos was trying to do; silence will make it go away. That did not work for the Hylden, and it would certainly not work in this case either. Still, he could see that any argument would make the small rift between them widen.

"Fine," Raziel finally said.

"I must be going now," Janos said. "I am supposed to meet Diana for morning tea."

Raziel's mood lifted. "Of course. Give her my regards when you see her," he said. Both of them knew that the fortuneteller was a charlatan, but she was still good as a stabilizing force in Janos' life. She knew how to listen and give practical advice.

Disclaimer: I mean no offense to the real people that think they might have been mentioned in this chapter. I especially mean no offense to the healthy and brilliant mind that is responsible for Raziel's existence. LOK and any popular culture references made in this fic are still the property of whoever owns them.

A/N: Who is Diana? Obviously one of Janos' friends.