vii. mary, mary
***
no virgin me
for I have sinned
I sold my soul
for sex and gin
go call a priest
all meek and mild
and tell him "mary
is no more a child."
Terrified, she could hear the crack of a whip, the click of a stopwatch, the sound of laughter so like her own, but so cruel...She raced through the green, musty, old forest, where the trees groaned with age and the underbrush threatened to drown her. Thorns gashed small pinpricks of holes in her dress, snagging and claiming slashes of fabric as their own until the hem of her skirt was nothing more then rags.
How had this happened?
No time for thinking, Nakuru silently chided herself as she leapt over a fallen moss-grown log. Just-run!
***
It had started with that rabbit, hadn't it? She had screamed, and flung it on her bed, sprinting through the house. Where were Kaho and Eriol? Where was Suppi-chan? The house was eerily empty, the walls muttering stories of old to themselves.
A pitcher of milk in the kitchen had mysteriously spoiled.
Nakuru ran out of the house, fear gripping her. Her heart jumped like a fish into her mouth, as her head pounded in a rhythm not unlike the beats that prevailed in the dreamy techno tunes the club she had gone to played. The club-that had started this whole mess, hadn't it? If only she had listened to Eriol's uneasiness, and had sat at home reading like he wanted her to!
Then, as sudden as fog in the morning, they had appeared. It was insane; the superego (that's who she was, wasn't she? Nakuru was confused) had been riding a chariot! It was like in old Roman times...The superego was laughing, slightly, a whip in her hand, urging the invisible beast pulling the chariot to run faster. For whatever reason, the ego and id did not accompany her.
The surroundings became a blur as Nakuru ran as fast as her body would allow. Then, darkness fell as she unwittingly tripped over a rock.
***
it's raining stones
it's raining bile
from the luxury
of your denial
so I don't deny
I don't make do
I'll press alarms
place bets on truth
When her eyes fluttered open (to quote so many cliches), Nakuru shivered. She sat up, shaken, wondering where she was...It was cold, misty, and overcast, with a blue and gray tinge to everything...
Someone was crying. It sounded sort of like the mewling sounds a kitten makes, except more human, and feminine. Nakuru crawled over to the direction of the sound, making her way carefully through fields of wheat.
There was a crossroads, she could see, really just a four-way path of dirt, and sitting on the side of them, near a corn patch, was a figure dressed in a frilly white doll-like dress. It was obviously female, and sitting on a worn baby blanket. Something was in her hands...pushing away some of the crops, Nakuru could see it was some sort of embroidery thing. A circle, or whatever it was called. The girl was crying as she carefully made a few careful stitches, peering intently at her sewing.
Nakuru stood up, wobbling a little; her ankle throbbed dully. She must have landed wrong. Quickly, she walked to the girl.
It was Tomoyo, she realized blankly. Yes, an older version of the girl...but still Tomoyo, Sakura's best friend.
The girl was beautiful. A little enviously, Nakuru watched her. She had long dark hair, and such pretty pale skin, though her face was a little red and pinched from the crying...
Oh god! Nakuru nearly slapped herself. The girl was crying and all she was doing was admiring her!
"Um," she said nervously. "Um, are you...okay?" Stupid, she inwardly scolded herself. Of course she wasn't!
Delicately, Tomoyo looked up. "Akizuki-san!" she gasped tearfully. "How did you get here?"
"Please, call me Nakuru!" Nakuru begged, kneeling down to the girl. Quickly, a little embarrassed, she grabbed the younger girl's hand, looking into her eyes, pleading. Tomoyo stared, then blushed slightly.
"O-of, of course, Nakuru-kun..." Tomoyo bit her lip, looking down at her embroidery.
"What's the matter?"
Tomoyo drew a sharp breath. "Nothing..." she whispered. It didn't work. After a few minutes worth of prodding by Nakuru, she began to cry again.
"I-I can't tell!" she sobbed. Tears dropped onto her sewing, staining the cloth. "It's...oh, Sakura-chan!" She blinked blearily. "I don't even know where she is! I feel so horrible, and alone..." she trailed off.
Nakuru muttered, "Believe me, you don't want to know..." Tomoyo looked a little confused, but went on.
"I think, though," she said, lifting her chin. "I think I will tell you." She blinked, as though to drive the tears away, and smoothed her dress down.
"It was after school," she whispered. "And I was walking...I was walking home with Sakura-chan. And...I don't know...I think...I'm not sure. I just turned to her, and..." Tomoyo began to hiccup, wiping her hands against her eyes roughly to keep the tears at bay, "And I said, `Sakura-chan...I love you.'"
Nakuru inhaled sharply. "And then," Tomoyo continued, sobbing, "She just...she just blanched, and then she said slowly, `You mean like friends, right, Tomoyo-chan?' And I just...oh, I just shook my head no. And she...she ran away! She ran away from me!"
A roar and then...
...silence.
***
whatever happened to mary?
***
PSYCHE:
(noun):
SOUL, SELF; also: MIND
***
The one great difference between humans are their indulgences. Other than that, everyone is essentially the same.
***
We all love our mothers.
***
But what happens when we don't have a mother?
***
I'm so up and down
and I love what's not allowed
I was lost, now I see:
and now I'm growing old disgracefully
Whatever happened to Mary?
***
I'm so sorry this took so long! The thing is...I had writer's block. And school. Which I loathe.
Sign58 - my name comes from the character Puck in A Midsummer Night's Dream. I saw that last summer in Ashland, Oregon, during their Shakespeare Festival and quickly became obsessed. My favorite character in that play is Puck, who I absolutely adore, so I thought...why not?