Big Hoobamawatzit
Tuesday
7:00 A.M.
Its early morning and the entire cast is sound asleep, except Kikyou, she never sleeps. InuYasha is under the dining room table hugging an empty bottle of Sake and some stuffed thing. Kagome is sleeping on the bed in the doorless room cradling Shippou like a baby. Sango is sleeping on the pull out bed, Miroku beside her, he moved there when he couldn't take the cold table anymore. Sesshoumaru and Naraku are asleep on a huge pile of boas. Jaken is sleeping right outside the doorless room with a big grin on his face. Kikyou is floating around the garden, enjoying the silence, it reminds her of death. Kouga is curled up in a little ball and snoring softly. Wonderful, peaceful silence.
8:00 A.M.
A bloodcurdling scream comes from bedroom 1c. Everyone is startled awake. InuYasha jumps up and hits the table, he holds his head while cursing loudly. Kagome screams and accidently throws Shippou in the air. Shippou is now stuck on the ceiling fan. Sango wakes up and sees Miroku beside her. Miroku wakes up to find that Sango has thrown him into a wall. Sesshoumaru jumps up and Naraku catches him, they both stare in the direction the scream came from with scared looks on their faces. Jaken hops up and runs out of the house. Kikyou looks toward the house with mild interest, then begins to plot a cruel joke on whoever screamed. Kouga is standing up staring at the spot Bob had been last night. All that remains is a pot and a pile of ashes. Everyone comes into the room and look around, Miroku asks, "What was that yell for?" Kouga points a shakey hand at Bob's remains, "S-s-someone KILLED Bob!!!!!!" Sango frowns, "Who would want to kill a plant?" Miroku bends down and looks at the ashes, "Maybe that someone wanted to USE Bob......." All the cast understand what he means except Kouga, he was the only one who didn't know Bob was a pot plant(Big Hoo still claims he has no idea how it got in the house). Kagome looks at everyone carefully, "Well none of you look stoned, so it couldn't be any of you. It's either Jaken or Kikyou....can Kikyou smoke?" They all ponder about if dead people can smoke or not while Kouga continues to stare at whats left of Bob. InuYasha finally talks, " It had to be Jaken, he used up all his cigarettes yesterday remember?" Kouga's eyes flash coldly and he runs out of the room. A moment later you can hear Jaken's screams from outside, "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! OW! I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF! OW!" Kouga chases Jaken around for about fifteen minutes hitting him upside the head, then he finally gives him a good kick in the head. Kouga comes in the room looking both depressed and satisfied. He starts to put Bob's remains in a shoebox. Everyone else head in different directions to do different things. Sango and Kagome go and watch some cartoons, Miroku brushes his teeth, Sesshoumaru and Naraku are putting on their make-up in the kitchen(Sesshoumaru still isn't allowed in the bathroom), InuYasha is scavenging around for another bottle of Sake, and Shippou remains stuck on the ceiling fan, which has just been turned on by Kouga.
8:52 A.M.
Big Hoo comes on, "Gooooooood morning everybody!" Big Hoo seems in a really good mood today, and seems to have forgotten about their punishment, "Well, I was doing some thinking last night and I realized that you all didn't finish your questions. So that's another punishment, added on to the one for the mess last night." Everyone flinches. Big Hoo clears his throat, "*ahem* Your punishments will be: you miss breakfast for today, you must clean the house, I want it SPOTLESS, and I want those two dirty mutts, InuYasha and Kouga, to get a bath. If they refuse, use the hose." InuYasha starts yelling at camera 8c(which is currently turned off), "I'm not a dirty mutt! No one can make me take a bath! And you ain't using that hose on me!!" He slaps the camera and storms down the hall. In his drunken rage he forgets that all the other bedroom doors are locked and tries to open one, and much to everyone's surprise -it opens! InuYasha looks inside, then passes out(yes he found another bottle of Sake in Miroku's bag). Kagome steps over InuYasha and looks around room 1d. Big Hoo speaks again, "Now, that I gave you all your punishments, I shall give you your task for the day. Pick your roommates! All bedroom doors are now open. And Kouga, since you broke in to room 1c yesterday, you get to keep that room. Big Hoo over and out!"
9:18 A.M.
After much arguing, fussing, and whining, and a lot of begging from Miroku to Sango, the roommates are decided: InuYasha and Kouga in room 1c. Kagome and Sango in room 1d. Miroku and Shippou in room 1e. Naraku and Sesshoumaru in room 1b, they have renamed it "Palace of the Princesses". Kikyou and Jaken in room 1a, or outside if they so choose. For an hour everyone sets up their room, unpacks, and get settled in.
10:18 A.M.
InuYasha, still drunk as a skunk, has woken up and is now gnawing on a corner of the wall and eating the paint chips. Kouga is attempting to eat his mattress for several reasons, one: he didn't eat last night, two: he didn't eat this morning so he is starving, three: Miroku told him, "Mattresses have alot of nutrients, protien and healthy fibers.", and four: he is still mourning over the loss of Bob. Sesshoumaru is painting their bedroom hot pink, as Naraku nances around throwing glitter on the wet paint. Kagome and Sango are taping pictures of hot guys from magazines on their walls, when Kagome walks out of the room in search of more magazines Sango stuffs a picture of certain perverted monk under her pale yellow pillow. Shippou is unconcious after being sent flying when the ceiling fan was turned on earlier. Miroku is putting pictures of Sango all over his walls, every single inch of the walls are covered. He then starts putting all of his dirty magazines into an avacado box and stuffs it under his bed, making sure that Shippou won't find it.
11:30 A.M.
Sesshoumaru is now in the kitchen making some lunch, he decides not to make chicken again since that caused a disaster last time. He decides to make spinach and meatball omelettes with a side of home made potato salad. The smell of food quickly attracts the crew, who all wait in the dining room for their lunch. Jaken and Kikyou are outside having a pleasant conversation about antique silverware. Nobody seems to notice the fact that Jaken hasn't eaten anything since they got in the house, but its shocking he doesn't have the munchies.. The cast sit around the dining room table as Sesshoumaru walks out with a large tray of food. Everyone takes some but everyone is hesitant to eat. Several hushed comments about the food are heard around the table and Sango screeches, "MY LUNCH JUST WINKED AT ME!" Miroku stands up and pounds his fist into her omelette, "That'll teach you to make a move on her!" Everyone stares at them, and pushes their plates away. Kouga looks at all the food and mumbles something about tasteless mattresses and pokes the omelette. He licks his finger and everyone waits for his reaction.
11: 43 A.M.
Kouga jumps up and runs to the bathroom with his hand over his mouth. The crew scoot their chairs back and watch their lunch cautiously, afraid that it will attack at any minute. Sesshoumaru is in tears that no one likes his cooking and Naraku, as usual, is comforting him, "It's okay Peach pie." Sesshoumaru walks out into the living room and sulks behind the T.V.(his new found shelter). Naraku glares menacingly at the cast...and the food, and skips off to comfort Sesshoumaru some more. Kouga walks out, and everyone turns their heads to see Kouga with half a bar of soap sticking out of his mouth. Kagome raises an eyebrow, "Kouga...? You sure that's healthy?" Kouga shrugs and finishes the remainder of the soap, "Atleast it isn't moving!!" InuYasha sits up and slams his hands on the table, "I'm starving!! Let's order pizza!" Kagome looks at him, "Good idea...'cept we have no phones." InuYasha growls, "Feh!" and storms off to sulk outside. Kikyou is reciting ways to commit suicide, "Jump off a cliff, jump off a building, jump off a bridge, jump out of a plane, jump in front of a moving vehicle, hang yourself, overdose on pills, overdose on drugs, drown your- ..." She stops when she realizes a particular hanyou has wondered outside with an irritated look covering his face. She floats over to him, "InuYasha, did that bit-...I mean...Did Kagome do something to you? 'Cause you know I can get back at her if she hurt you! I will make her suffer! I will-" She's cut off by InuYasha, "No. I'm just hungry..." Kikyou nods, "I see." InuYasha wanders over and leans against a tree and Kikyou floats closely behind, "Is there anything I can do?" InuYasha snorts, "Not unless you have food....REAL food, not mutated alien meat that a particualr brother of mine thinks is food." Kikyou tilts her head and tries to think of something that she can do to feed InuYasha.
12:10 P.M.
Back inside Kouga is eating soap, shampoo, and other non-edible items he found in the bathroom. He offers them to several members of the cast only to recieve a disgusted snort and have the cast member walk away. Kouga starts making funny faces and twitching, Kagome looks at him, "You okay there, Kouga?" Kouga doesn't respond but clenches his stomach and looks like he's about to puke. He burps and a bubble comes out of his mouth. His eyes go wide, "WOW! Wouldjya look at that! I made bubbles!!" He frowns for a moment, "Bob would have liked to see this....Oh well!" He burps and two small bubbles appear from his mouth. Kagome shakes her head and walks away. Kouga continues burping bubbles and the living room looks as if it's being attacked by soap bubbles. Kouga burps a bubble in Naraku's face and Naraku sniff it, "That smells oddly familiar...Wait...Why are you burping bubbles? Did you eat dish soap?" Kouga spins in a circle and burps up a bubble again, "Nope! I got 'em from the potty room!" Naraku's jaw drops and he stares in bewilderment, "You....You...You..." He's too shocked to do anything but twitch and stutter. Kouga flicks Naraku on the nose, "What's wrong babboon-butt?!" He burps a bubble in his face once again. Naraku faints and Kouga steps on his chest as if he won some battle, "I, Kouga, have defeated Naraku! Mu wa ha ha!" He burps several times while spinning around and flailing his arms in the air, "Wheee! *burp*" Miroku walks out of his room and into the living room, "....The Hell? What...What's going on here?" He looks at the passed out Naraku, floating bubbles and a prancing Kouga, "Did Jaken give you some of Bob?" He shakes his head and doesn't wait for an answer, he returns to his room. Kouga runs smack into a wall and gets knocked out, he falls on top of Naraku in a way that looks so inappropraite. Kagome is the one who finds them. "..............Whoa....." She blinks a few times and begins to have a giggle fit, making sure not to wake them. She runs to her room and finds Sango, "Give me a camera! Now!" Sango looks around and picks up a disposable camera off a bag of clothes and hands it to her. Kagome runs out and Sango follows. Sango sees naraku and Kouga and freezes in her tracks, "......I never knew that they were into that kinda thing...Wow...Scary..." She shakes her head and Kagome snaps a few photos. Sango and Kagome snicker and giggles and race back to their room.
12:45
Kouga and Naraku have been seen by everyone and recieved several giggles and snickers. Naraku slowly comes to and groans because there is a smelly, heavy Thing on him. He rubs his eyes and sees it's Kouga, "AAAHHHHH!!! GET OFF ME!!!!" He squeals in Kouga's sensitive ear. Kouga hops straight up and yells, "And really bad eggs!" And glances around, obviously woken from a dream. Naraku hisses and fixes his hair, "Why? How did this happen?!" He remembers he passed out because of the soap issue and B**ch Slaps Kouga, then flips his hair and storms off to his room. Kouga just stands there blinking. Big Hoo comes on, "Hello all! I think it's about time to get your punishments done. Now get a move!" Everyone goes to Kagome, since she seems to know how to use vacuums, dusters, and all the other cleaning appliances. Kagome gives out the orders to everyone. InuYasha and Sesshoumaru must clean the kitchen. Naraku and Shippou clean the bedrooms. Kouga and Miroku clean the dining room. Sango and Kagome clean the living room.
1:00 P.M.
Yelling can be heard from the dining room as Kouga and Miroku fight off angry omelettes. Kouga yells, "OW! IT BIT ME!" He comes running out of the dining room with an omelette on his hand, he proceeds to beat it on a wall. Miroku is surrounded by three omelettes and he begins to retaliate with his staff. The omelettes squeal and hide under the fridge. The rest of the cast aren't having as much trouble cleaning as Miroku and Kouga.
2:00 P.M.
Everyone sits around the cleaned living room. Kouga and Miroku are covered in the remains of the omelettes. Big Hoo speaks, "Well, your punishments are almost done. But InuYasha and Kouga still need baths." Both mentioned demons flinch. Kagome pulls a quarter from God knows where and says, "Kouga, heads or tails?" Kouga looks up, "Tails?" Kagome flips the coin and it lands on heads."Well, InuYasha you're up first." InuYasha sighs and goes into the bathroom. He starts his bath and takes his time.
2:30 P.M.
Alot of splashing is coming from the bathroom, finally InuYasha emerges clean, dry, and fully dressed. Kagome claps, "I didn't know your hair was so white! Kouga you're up!" She looks around, "Where'd he go?" Miroku points at the couch and whispers, "Under there...." InuYasha and Miroku pick up the couch to reveal a dust covered Kouga underneath. Miroku drags Kouga outside to the hose by his tail. Kouga claws the ground, leaving a trail of claw marks on the floor. Miroku goes to turn on the hose but finds it missing, "Where is it?! WHO HAS THE HOSE?!" He growls and grabs Kouga by the back of his shirt and tail, counts to three, "One....two......three!" and tosses him into the pool. Kouga climbs out of the pool and shakes off the water. Miroku mutters, "Dumb mutt." and walks inside. They lock Kouga outside so he doesn't get the clean house wet. Kouga sits by the glass door and pouts for about fifteen minutes then goes off to explore the backyard.
3:17 P.M.
Kagome opens the door to outside and calls, "KOUGA! YOU CAN COME IN NOW!" Silence. Kagome looks around, shrugs and goes back inside, "Probably found a new friend in the garden or something..."
3:26 P.M.
Sesshoumaru walks into the kitchen and comes back out angry as hell, "WHO HAS MUDDY FEET?! THEY TRACKED ALL OVER MY BEAUTIFUL KITCHEN FLOOR!!!" Everyone looks at their feet, no one has mud on the bottom. Sesshoumaru frowns, "Whoever it was didn't have shoes on so it isn't one of the humans......" Everyone glances at InuYasha, and Kagome shrieks slightly, "KOUGA! He must have went around the side yard and snuck in a window! Ai- yee!" InuYasha snorts, "That wolf scum! I should have known he was behind all this!" Sesshoumaru's normally heavenly expression has grown very sour, twitching and frowning. He points at the floor, "Follow those footsteps!" The crew does as told and follows the footsteps, which lead through the dining room and in the living room, the foot prints disappear behind the T.V. Sesshoumaru stomps over to the T.V. and finds a sleeping Kouga, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN!?!?!?!?!" Kouga jumps up, "And the monkey got flushed down the toilet!" He sees a Sesshoumaru, who resembles a mother that just found out her fifteen year old son is in jail. Sesshoumaru's beautifully manicured hands start reaching for Kouga's neck. Naraku grabs Sesshoumaru's hands, "Now, Peanut-fluffama-puff, don't ruin your nails on that wolf!" Naraku gives Kouga a stare colder then a polar bear's butt after sitting on an iceberg in the middle of winter. Kouga yelps and runs outside, where he must now stay until tomorrow. All windows and doors are locked so he can't sneak back inside. He sits at the door like a beaten dog. The cast ignore him for the rest of the evening.
4:30 P.M.
The crew relax until dinner time. Shippou is drawing pictures with crayons provided by Kagome. Kagome, Sango, and Miroku are watching a movie called, "Lilo & Stitch" Sesshoumaru and naraku are making Beef Stir Fry in the kitchen. InuYasha is sleeping on a bookshelf, using Miroku's forgotten sandal as a pillow. Jaken is hiding somewhere from Kouga, as he has been since the morning. Kikyou is chatting with Kouga about the many wonderful ways to kill yourself.
5:02 P.M.
"DINNER TIME!" yells an enthusiastic Sesshoumaru. The cast file into the dining room and take their seats. They all begin eating, every few minutes Kagome or Sango begin tapping their fork on the table in a perculiar rhythm, then begin to giggle. It's some sort of morse code, Kagome finishes tapping and Sango looks at InuYasha and almost falls out of her chair laughing. Kagome had "tapped" to Sango, "InuYasha has food hanging out of his mouth, and he doesn't notice it." Miroku looks at them and watches their forks intently, trying to decipher their language. Dinner goes over well, InuYasha finally notices the food on his face, blushes, mutters, "Feh!" and eats the food. Big Hoo comes on, "Hey everyone don't forget that you need to give two compliments by the end of today! Buh-Byes!" Miroku is the first to compliment, "Sango, your hair is really shiny and pretty today! And you smell like roses!" InuYasha grumbles, "Let's just get this over with so we don't get punished again." InuYasha compliments on Kagome's skirt and hair. Naraku and Sesshoumaru leave the table, complimenting each other over and over. Kagome says InuYasha looks nice after his bath, and he smells nice too. Shippou tells Sesshoumaru that he made good food, and that Naraku's finger nails are really cool. Kikyou floats through the dining room wall and compliments InuYasha, asks him to come to hell with her, recieves a, "No." and disappears again. Jaken comments from his hiding spot that Kouga's best friend was really good, and that Bob made his day better. Kouga growls at Jaken then yells two compliments to Kagome through the glass door. Sango goes into her room and gives compliments to her picture of Miroku under her pillow. She comes back out and says she finished her task by complimenting the hot guys on her wall. Miroku sighs sadly and stares at the dining room floor. When everyone is finished and has left the table Kagome collects the leftovers into a bowl and gives it to Kouga, who has been yelling at his stomach because it growled.
6:00 P.M.
Big Hoo surprises them all, "HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY! I got another task for you!" Everyone groans and Big Hoo continues happily, "All you have to do is make a sign for your bedroom door with your roommate." InuYasha grumbles, "Big Hoo...Me and wolf-scum ain't got a bedroom door..." Big Hoo comments on this point, "Hang it on the wall! Big Hoo over and out!" Big Hoo disconnects. InuYasha nods and Kagome goes to her room, comes back out, and passes out paper, pencils, markers, crayons, colored pencils, and other art supplies. The crew pair up with their roommates and wander off to their rooms.
7:00 P.M.
Everyone is slowly coming out to show off their pictures. InuYasha comes from the backyard, where Kouga and him drew their picture. It has messy letters that say "Den of The Wolf King...and that mutt" Jaken and Kikyou's is taken away and they are both ordered to make another, Jaken drew a pot plant and Kikyou drew an InuYasha lacking clothing, they make another one that has hearts around a cigarette and InuYasha. Kagome and Sango wrote in pretty writing "Sanctuary from the Boys" with little hearts and flowers scattered about on the picture. Miroku and Shippou's picture says "Shrine of Sango" and in sloppy little writing on the bottom it says "and candy". Sesshoumaru and naraku come giggling out of their room later than everyone else and show their picture with great pride. It is painted light pink, with sparkles and glitter all over, a large gold crown with many jewels is drawn in the center of the paper and a fluffy boa is also drawn on the paper. They giggle and squeal, and show off their poster to everyone. Everyone, except the banished Kouga, go and hang their signs on their doors, or wall in InuYasha's case.
8:00 P.M.
Big Hoo comes on again, "Okay everyone I must explain about tomorrow! Every Wednesday from now on there shall be a contest, unless stated otherwise. If you refuse to participate you do not eat that night or you sleep outside, cast choice. Whoever wins gets extra food. Tomorrow's contest is a talent show! You may pair up, but only two people per group! For the contest a guest shall come in and judge! TA TA!" Everyone immediately starts talking about what they plan on doing for the contest and try to guess who the guest is going to be. Sesshoumaru and Naraku skip down the hall to prepare their act.
9:03 P.M.
Everyone is out in the living room watching "World's Funniest Videos" and having a relaxing time. Shippou is sound asleep in the popcorn bowl while the rest of the cast laugh at the T.V. Kouga is scratching at the door, complaining that it's cold outside. Sango sighs and turns the T.V. up louder to drown out his whining. Shippou wakes up and starts watching T.V. He hears something about babies, turns around to face Sango and the others on the couch, "Sango, where do babies come from?" Silence.
9:10 P.M.
Sango stutters, "They come from......uhhhhh......ummmmm......errrrr...they come from girls!" Shippou tilts his head, "How do they get there?" More silence. Miroku clears his throat, "They get there when a guy and a girl have s-" He gets cut off when Sango smacks him. Shippou blinks, "Have what? Sugar?" Miroku and InuYasha chuckle, "Yeah, you could call it that." Kagome and Sango give them dirty looks and walk to their rooms with Shippou. In the girls' room they distract from his questions with candy. Miroku stretches out on the couch and drinks some Sake he pulled from his kimono. InuYasha snatches the Sake and runs into his room, he takes a board from the dismantled bed and uses it to block the doorway. Miroku pounds on the makeshift door, "GIVE THAT BACK DAMMIT!" InuYasha ignores him and empties the bottle quickly. He throws the bottle at the wall. The sound of the bottle shattering, and InuYasha's growls startles Miroku and he hurries to his room yelling, "INUYASHA IS AN ANGRY DRUNK!!!!" He slams his door and locks it.
9:50 P.M.
Shippou has to sleep in the girls' since Miroku locked the bedroom door. Sesshoumaru and Naraku are asleep after a game of "dress-up". Miroku sits and stares at a picture of Sango on his ceiling and finally falls asleep. InuYasha wanders around his room growling at random objects and hitting the walls because they "talked back to him". Kikyou floats around the house revising her list of "Perfect Ways to Die", while Jaken attempts to escape Kouga, who is prowling the backyard in boredom.
10:00 P.M.
Everyone is asleep except Kikyou, and Jaken. InuYasha has fallen asleep on the dresser. Kagome is hugging Shippou like a stuffed animal. Sango is hugging her picture of Miroku. Miroku is dreaming of Sango. Sesshoumaru dreams of the perfect make-over. Naraku is snoring loudly and mumbling about how much he loves Sesshoumaru, as usual. Kouga went to sleep on the roof, after howling at the moon for an hour and being yelled at by Miroku to, "SHUT THE HELL UP!!"
12:00 A.M.
Even Jaken is asleep at this time, only Kikyou is moving, floating over the garden and killing vegetables with evil glares. Wonderful Silence.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Author Note: I hope you enjoy this! There shall be more soon -A few days, maybe one. Disclaimer: We do not own Inuyasha or any other characters, blah blah and all that other stuff. Credit: We give credit to "The Fluffy Mag" for the idea of this fic!
Tuesday
7:00 A.M.
Its early morning and the entire cast is sound asleep, except Kikyou, she never sleeps. InuYasha is under the dining room table hugging an empty bottle of Sake and some stuffed thing. Kagome is sleeping on the bed in the doorless room cradling Shippou like a baby. Sango is sleeping on the pull out bed, Miroku beside her, he moved there when he couldn't take the cold table anymore. Sesshoumaru and Naraku are asleep on a huge pile of boas. Jaken is sleeping right outside the doorless room with a big grin on his face. Kikyou is floating around the garden, enjoying the silence, it reminds her of death. Kouga is curled up in a little ball and snoring softly. Wonderful, peaceful silence.
8:00 A.M.
A bloodcurdling scream comes from bedroom 1c. Everyone is startled awake. InuYasha jumps up and hits the table, he holds his head while cursing loudly. Kagome screams and accidently throws Shippou in the air. Shippou is now stuck on the ceiling fan. Sango wakes up and sees Miroku beside her. Miroku wakes up to find that Sango has thrown him into a wall. Sesshoumaru jumps up and Naraku catches him, they both stare in the direction the scream came from with scared looks on their faces. Jaken hops up and runs out of the house. Kikyou looks toward the house with mild interest, then begins to plot a cruel joke on whoever screamed. Kouga is standing up staring at the spot Bob had been last night. All that remains is a pot and a pile of ashes. Everyone comes into the room and look around, Miroku asks, "What was that yell for?" Kouga points a shakey hand at Bob's remains, "S-s-someone KILLED Bob!!!!!!" Sango frowns, "Who would want to kill a plant?" Miroku bends down and looks at the ashes, "Maybe that someone wanted to USE Bob......." All the cast understand what he means except Kouga, he was the only one who didn't know Bob was a pot plant(Big Hoo still claims he has no idea how it got in the house). Kagome looks at everyone carefully, "Well none of you look stoned, so it couldn't be any of you. It's either Jaken or Kikyou....can Kikyou smoke?" They all ponder about if dead people can smoke or not while Kouga continues to stare at whats left of Bob. InuYasha finally talks, " It had to be Jaken, he used up all his cigarettes yesterday remember?" Kouga's eyes flash coldly and he runs out of the room. A moment later you can hear Jaken's screams from outside, "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! OW! I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF! OW!" Kouga chases Jaken around for about fifteen minutes hitting him upside the head, then he finally gives him a good kick in the head. Kouga comes in the room looking both depressed and satisfied. He starts to put Bob's remains in a shoebox. Everyone else head in different directions to do different things. Sango and Kagome go and watch some cartoons, Miroku brushes his teeth, Sesshoumaru and Naraku are putting on their make-up in the kitchen(Sesshoumaru still isn't allowed in the bathroom), InuYasha is scavenging around for another bottle of Sake, and Shippou remains stuck on the ceiling fan, which has just been turned on by Kouga.
8:52 A.M.
Big Hoo comes on, "Gooooooood morning everybody!" Big Hoo seems in a really good mood today, and seems to have forgotten about their punishment, "Well, I was doing some thinking last night and I realized that you all didn't finish your questions. So that's another punishment, added on to the one for the mess last night." Everyone flinches. Big Hoo clears his throat, "*ahem* Your punishments will be: you miss breakfast for today, you must clean the house, I want it SPOTLESS, and I want those two dirty mutts, InuYasha and Kouga, to get a bath. If they refuse, use the hose." InuYasha starts yelling at camera 8c(which is currently turned off), "I'm not a dirty mutt! No one can make me take a bath! And you ain't using that hose on me!!" He slaps the camera and storms down the hall. In his drunken rage he forgets that all the other bedroom doors are locked and tries to open one, and much to everyone's surprise -it opens! InuYasha looks inside, then passes out(yes he found another bottle of Sake in Miroku's bag). Kagome steps over InuYasha and looks around room 1d. Big Hoo speaks again, "Now, that I gave you all your punishments, I shall give you your task for the day. Pick your roommates! All bedroom doors are now open. And Kouga, since you broke in to room 1c yesterday, you get to keep that room. Big Hoo over and out!"
9:18 A.M.
After much arguing, fussing, and whining, and a lot of begging from Miroku to Sango, the roommates are decided: InuYasha and Kouga in room 1c. Kagome and Sango in room 1d. Miroku and Shippou in room 1e. Naraku and Sesshoumaru in room 1b, they have renamed it "Palace of the Princesses". Kikyou and Jaken in room 1a, or outside if they so choose. For an hour everyone sets up their room, unpacks, and get settled in.
10:18 A.M.
InuYasha, still drunk as a skunk, has woken up and is now gnawing on a corner of the wall and eating the paint chips. Kouga is attempting to eat his mattress for several reasons, one: he didn't eat last night, two: he didn't eat this morning so he is starving, three: Miroku told him, "Mattresses have alot of nutrients, protien and healthy fibers.", and four: he is still mourning over the loss of Bob. Sesshoumaru is painting their bedroom hot pink, as Naraku nances around throwing glitter on the wet paint. Kagome and Sango are taping pictures of hot guys from magazines on their walls, when Kagome walks out of the room in search of more magazines Sango stuffs a picture of certain perverted monk under her pale yellow pillow. Shippou is unconcious after being sent flying when the ceiling fan was turned on earlier. Miroku is putting pictures of Sango all over his walls, every single inch of the walls are covered. He then starts putting all of his dirty magazines into an avacado box and stuffs it under his bed, making sure that Shippou won't find it.
11:30 A.M.
Sesshoumaru is now in the kitchen making some lunch, he decides not to make chicken again since that caused a disaster last time. He decides to make spinach and meatball omelettes with a side of home made potato salad. The smell of food quickly attracts the crew, who all wait in the dining room for their lunch. Jaken and Kikyou are outside having a pleasant conversation about antique silverware. Nobody seems to notice the fact that Jaken hasn't eaten anything since they got in the house, but its shocking he doesn't have the munchies.. The cast sit around the dining room table as Sesshoumaru walks out with a large tray of food. Everyone takes some but everyone is hesitant to eat. Several hushed comments about the food are heard around the table and Sango screeches, "MY LUNCH JUST WINKED AT ME!" Miroku stands up and pounds his fist into her omelette, "That'll teach you to make a move on her!" Everyone stares at them, and pushes their plates away. Kouga looks at all the food and mumbles something about tasteless mattresses and pokes the omelette. He licks his finger and everyone waits for his reaction.
11: 43 A.M.
Kouga jumps up and runs to the bathroom with his hand over his mouth. The crew scoot their chairs back and watch their lunch cautiously, afraid that it will attack at any minute. Sesshoumaru is in tears that no one likes his cooking and Naraku, as usual, is comforting him, "It's okay Peach pie." Sesshoumaru walks out into the living room and sulks behind the T.V.(his new found shelter). Naraku glares menacingly at the cast...and the food, and skips off to comfort Sesshoumaru some more. Kouga walks out, and everyone turns their heads to see Kouga with half a bar of soap sticking out of his mouth. Kagome raises an eyebrow, "Kouga...? You sure that's healthy?" Kouga shrugs and finishes the remainder of the soap, "Atleast it isn't moving!!" InuYasha sits up and slams his hands on the table, "I'm starving!! Let's order pizza!" Kagome looks at him, "Good idea...'cept we have no phones." InuYasha growls, "Feh!" and storms off to sulk outside. Kikyou is reciting ways to commit suicide, "Jump off a cliff, jump off a building, jump off a bridge, jump out of a plane, jump in front of a moving vehicle, hang yourself, overdose on pills, overdose on drugs, drown your- ..." She stops when she realizes a particular hanyou has wondered outside with an irritated look covering his face. She floats over to him, "InuYasha, did that bit-...I mean...Did Kagome do something to you? 'Cause you know I can get back at her if she hurt you! I will make her suffer! I will-" She's cut off by InuYasha, "No. I'm just hungry..." Kikyou nods, "I see." InuYasha wanders over and leans against a tree and Kikyou floats closely behind, "Is there anything I can do?" InuYasha snorts, "Not unless you have food....REAL food, not mutated alien meat that a particualr brother of mine thinks is food." Kikyou tilts her head and tries to think of something that she can do to feed InuYasha.
12:10 P.M.
Back inside Kouga is eating soap, shampoo, and other non-edible items he found in the bathroom. He offers them to several members of the cast only to recieve a disgusted snort and have the cast member walk away. Kouga starts making funny faces and twitching, Kagome looks at him, "You okay there, Kouga?" Kouga doesn't respond but clenches his stomach and looks like he's about to puke. He burps and a bubble comes out of his mouth. His eyes go wide, "WOW! Wouldjya look at that! I made bubbles!!" He frowns for a moment, "Bob would have liked to see this....Oh well!" He burps and two small bubbles appear from his mouth. Kagome shakes her head and walks away. Kouga continues burping bubbles and the living room looks as if it's being attacked by soap bubbles. Kouga burps a bubble in Naraku's face and Naraku sniff it, "That smells oddly familiar...Wait...Why are you burping bubbles? Did you eat dish soap?" Kouga spins in a circle and burps up a bubble again, "Nope! I got 'em from the potty room!" Naraku's jaw drops and he stares in bewilderment, "You....You...You..." He's too shocked to do anything but twitch and stutter. Kouga flicks Naraku on the nose, "What's wrong babboon-butt?!" He burps a bubble in his face once again. Naraku faints and Kouga steps on his chest as if he won some battle, "I, Kouga, have defeated Naraku! Mu wa ha ha!" He burps several times while spinning around and flailing his arms in the air, "Wheee! *burp*" Miroku walks out of his room and into the living room, "....The Hell? What...What's going on here?" He looks at the passed out Naraku, floating bubbles and a prancing Kouga, "Did Jaken give you some of Bob?" He shakes his head and doesn't wait for an answer, he returns to his room. Kouga runs smack into a wall and gets knocked out, he falls on top of Naraku in a way that looks so inappropraite. Kagome is the one who finds them. "..............Whoa....." She blinks a few times and begins to have a giggle fit, making sure not to wake them. She runs to her room and finds Sango, "Give me a camera! Now!" Sango looks around and picks up a disposable camera off a bag of clothes and hands it to her. Kagome runs out and Sango follows. Sango sees naraku and Kouga and freezes in her tracks, "......I never knew that they were into that kinda thing...Wow...Scary..." She shakes her head and Kagome snaps a few photos. Sango and Kagome snicker and giggles and race back to their room.
12:45
Kouga and Naraku have been seen by everyone and recieved several giggles and snickers. Naraku slowly comes to and groans because there is a smelly, heavy Thing on him. He rubs his eyes and sees it's Kouga, "AAAHHHHH!!! GET OFF ME!!!!" He squeals in Kouga's sensitive ear. Kouga hops straight up and yells, "And really bad eggs!" And glances around, obviously woken from a dream. Naraku hisses and fixes his hair, "Why? How did this happen?!" He remembers he passed out because of the soap issue and B**ch Slaps Kouga, then flips his hair and storms off to his room. Kouga just stands there blinking. Big Hoo comes on, "Hello all! I think it's about time to get your punishments done. Now get a move!" Everyone goes to Kagome, since she seems to know how to use vacuums, dusters, and all the other cleaning appliances. Kagome gives out the orders to everyone. InuYasha and Sesshoumaru must clean the kitchen. Naraku and Shippou clean the bedrooms. Kouga and Miroku clean the dining room. Sango and Kagome clean the living room.
1:00 P.M.
Yelling can be heard from the dining room as Kouga and Miroku fight off angry omelettes. Kouga yells, "OW! IT BIT ME!" He comes running out of the dining room with an omelette on his hand, he proceeds to beat it on a wall. Miroku is surrounded by three omelettes and he begins to retaliate with his staff. The omelettes squeal and hide under the fridge. The rest of the cast aren't having as much trouble cleaning as Miroku and Kouga.
2:00 P.M.
Everyone sits around the cleaned living room. Kouga and Miroku are covered in the remains of the omelettes. Big Hoo speaks, "Well, your punishments are almost done. But InuYasha and Kouga still need baths." Both mentioned demons flinch. Kagome pulls a quarter from God knows where and says, "Kouga, heads or tails?" Kouga looks up, "Tails?" Kagome flips the coin and it lands on heads."Well, InuYasha you're up first." InuYasha sighs and goes into the bathroom. He starts his bath and takes his time.
2:30 P.M.
Alot of splashing is coming from the bathroom, finally InuYasha emerges clean, dry, and fully dressed. Kagome claps, "I didn't know your hair was so white! Kouga you're up!" She looks around, "Where'd he go?" Miroku points at the couch and whispers, "Under there...." InuYasha and Miroku pick up the couch to reveal a dust covered Kouga underneath. Miroku drags Kouga outside to the hose by his tail. Kouga claws the ground, leaving a trail of claw marks on the floor. Miroku goes to turn on the hose but finds it missing, "Where is it?! WHO HAS THE HOSE?!" He growls and grabs Kouga by the back of his shirt and tail, counts to three, "One....two......three!" and tosses him into the pool. Kouga climbs out of the pool and shakes off the water. Miroku mutters, "Dumb mutt." and walks inside. They lock Kouga outside so he doesn't get the clean house wet. Kouga sits by the glass door and pouts for about fifteen minutes then goes off to explore the backyard.
3:17 P.M.
Kagome opens the door to outside and calls, "KOUGA! YOU CAN COME IN NOW!" Silence. Kagome looks around, shrugs and goes back inside, "Probably found a new friend in the garden or something..."
3:26 P.M.
Sesshoumaru walks into the kitchen and comes back out angry as hell, "WHO HAS MUDDY FEET?! THEY TRACKED ALL OVER MY BEAUTIFUL KITCHEN FLOOR!!!" Everyone looks at their feet, no one has mud on the bottom. Sesshoumaru frowns, "Whoever it was didn't have shoes on so it isn't one of the humans......" Everyone glances at InuYasha, and Kagome shrieks slightly, "KOUGA! He must have went around the side yard and snuck in a window! Ai- yee!" InuYasha snorts, "That wolf scum! I should have known he was behind all this!" Sesshoumaru's normally heavenly expression has grown very sour, twitching and frowning. He points at the floor, "Follow those footsteps!" The crew does as told and follows the footsteps, which lead through the dining room and in the living room, the foot prints disappear behind the T.V. Sesshoumaru stomps over to the T.V. and finds a sleeping Kouga, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN!?!?!?!?!" Kouga jumps up, "And the monkey got flushed down the toilet!" He sees a Sesshoumaru, who resembles a mother that just found out her fifteen year old son is in jail. Sesshoumaru's beautifully manicured hands start reaching for Kouga's neck. Naraku grabs Sesshoumaru's hands, "Now, Peanut-fluffama-puff, don't ruin your nails on that wolf!" Naraku gives Kouga a stare colder then a polar bear's butt after sitting on an iceberg in the middle of winter. Kouga yelps and runs outside, where he must now stay until tomorrow. All windows and doors are locked so he can't sneak back inside. He sits at the door like a beaten dog. The cast ignore him for the rest of the evening.
4:30 P.M.
The crew relax until dinner time. Shippou is drawing pictures with crayons provided by Kagome. Kagome, Sango, and Miroku are watching a movie called, "Lilo & Stitch" Sesshoumaru and naraku are making Beef Stir Fry in the kitchen. InuYasha is sleeping on a bookshelf, using Miroku's forgotten sandal as a pillow. Jaken is hiding somewhere from Kouga, as he has been since the morning. Kikyou is chatting with Kouga about the many wonderful ways to kill yourself.
5:02 P.M.
"DINNER TIME!" yells an enthusiastic Sesshoumaru. The cast file into the dining room and take their seats. They all begin eating, every few minutes Kagome or Sango begin tapping their fork on the table in a perculiar rhythm, then begin to giggle. It's some sort of morse code, Kagome finishes tapping and Sango looks at InuYasha and almost falls out of her chair laughing. Kagome had "tapped" to Sango, "InuYasha has food hanging out of his mouth, and he doesn't notice it." Miroku looks at them and watches their forks intently, trying to decipher their language. Dinner goes over well, InuYasha finally notices the food on his face, blushes, mutters, "Feh!" and eats the food. Big Hoo comes on, "Hey everyone don't forget that you need to give two compliments by the end of today! Buh-Byes!" Miroku is the first to compliment, "Sango, your hair is really shiny and pretty today! And you smell like roses!" InuYasha grumbles, "Let's just get this over with so we don't get punished again." InuYasha compliments on Kagome's skirt and hair. Naraku and Sesshoumaru leave the table, complimenting each other over and over. Kagome says InuYasha looks nice after his bath, and he smells nice too. Shippou tells Sesshoumaru that he made good food, and that Naraku's finger nails are really cool. Kikyou floats through the dining room wall and compliments InuYasha, asks him to come to hell with her, recieves a, "No." and disappears again. Jaken comments from his hiding spot that Kouga's best friend was really good, and that Bob made his day better. Kouga growls at Jaken then yells two compliments to Kagome through the glass door. Sango goes into her room and gives compliments to her picture of Miroku under her pillow. She comes back out and says she finished her task by complimenting the hot guys on her wall. Miroku sighs sadly and stares at the dining room floor. When everyone is finished and has left the table Kagome collects the leftovers into a bowl and gives it to Kouga, who has been yelling at his stomach because it growled.
6:00 P.M.
Big Hoo surprises them all, "HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY! I got another task for you!" Everyone groans and Big Hoo continues happily, "All you have to do is make a sign for your bedroom door with your roommate." InuYasha grumbles, "Big Hoo...Me and wolf-scum ain't got a bedroom door..." Big Hoo comments on this point, "Hang it on the wall! Big Hoo over and out!" Big Hoo disconnects. InuYasha nods and Kagome goes to her room, comes back out, and passes out paper, pencils, markers, crayons, colored pencils, and other art supplies. The crew pair up with their roommates and wander off to their rooms.
7:00 P.M.
Everyone is slowly coming out to show off their pictures. InuYasha comes from the backyard, where Kouga and him drew their picture. It has messy letters that say "Den of The Wolf King...and that mutt" Jaken and Kikyou's is taken away and they are both ordered to make another, Jaken drew a pot plant and Kikyou drew an InuYasha lacking clothing, they make another one that has hearts around a cigarette and InuYasha. Kagome and Sango wrote in pretty writing "Sanctuary from the Boys" with little hearts and flowers scattered about on the picture. Miroku and Shippou's picture says "Shrine of Sango" and in sloppy little writing on the bottom it says "and candy". Sesshoumaru and naraku come giggling out of their room later than everyone else and show their picture with great pride. It is painted light pink, with sparkles and glitter all over, a large gold crown with many jewels is drawn in the center of the paper and a fluffy boa is also drawn on the paper. They giggle and squeal, and show off their poster to everyone. Everyone, except the banished Kouga, go and hang their signs on their doors, or wall in InuYasha's case.
8:00 P.M.
Big Hoo comes on again, "Okay everyone I must explain about tomorrow! Every Wednesday from now on there shall be a contest, unless stated otherwise. If you refuse to participate you do not eat that night or you sleep outside, cast choice. Whoever wins gets extra food. Tomorrow's contest is a talent show! You may pair up, but only two people per group! For the contest a guest shall come in and judge! TA TA!" Everyone immediately starts talking about what they plan on doing for the contest and try to guess who the guest is going to be. Sesshoumaru and Naraku skip down the hall to prepare their act.
9:03 P.M.
Everyone is out in the living room watching "World's Funniest Videos" and having a relaxing time. Shippou is sound asleep in the popcorn bowl while the rest of the cast laugh at the T.V. Kouga is scratching at the door, complaining that it's cold outside. Sango sighs and turns the T.V. up louder to drown out his whining. Shippou wakes up and starts watching T.V. He hears something about babies, turns around to face Sango and the others on the couch, "Sango, where do babies come from?" Silence.
9:10 P.M.
Sango stutters, "They come from......uhhhhh......ummmmm......errrrr...they come from girls!" Shippou tilts his head, "How do they get there?" More silence. Miroku clears his throat, "They get there when a guy and a girl have s-" He gets cut off when Sango smacks him. Shippou blinks, "Have what? Sugar?" Miroku and InuYasha chuckle, "Yeah, you could call it that." Kagome and Sango give them dirty looks and walk to their rooms with Shippou. In the girls' room they distract from his questions with candy. Miroku stretches out on the couch and drinks some Sake he pulled from his kimono. InuYasha snatches the Sake and runs into his room, he takes a board from the dismantled bed and uses it to block the doorway. Miroku pounds on the makeshift door, "GIVE THAT BACK DAMMIT!" InuYasha ignores him and empties the bottle quickly. He throws the bottle at the wall. The sound of the bottle shattering, and InuYasha's growls startles Miroku and he hurries to his room yelling, "INUYASHA IS AN ANGRY DRUNK!!!!" He slams his door and locks it.
9:50 P.M.
Shippou has to sleep in the girls' since Miroku locked the bedroom door. Sesshoumaru and Naraku are asleep after a game of "dress-up". Miroku sits and stares at a picture of Sango on his ceiling and finally falls asleep. InuYasha wanders around his room growling at random objects and hitting the walls because they "talked back to him". Kikyou floats around the house revising her list of "Perfect Ways to Die", while Jaken attempts to escape Kouga, who is prowling the backyard in boredom.
10:00 P.M.
Everyone is asleep except Kikyou, and Jaken. InuYasha has fallen asleep on the dresser. Kagome is hugging Shippou like a stuffed animal. Sango is hugging her picture of Miroku. Miroku is dreaming of Sango. Sesshoumaru dreams of the perfect make-over. Naraku is snoring loudly and mumbling about how much he loves Sesshoumaru, as usual. Kouga went to sleep on the roof, after howling at the moon for an hour and being yelled at by Miroku to, "SHUT THE HELL UP!!"
12:00 A.M.
Even Jaken is asleep at this time, only Kikyou is moving, floating over the garden and killing vegetables with evil glares. Wonderful Silence.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Author Note: I hope you enjoy this! There shall be more soon -A few days, maybe one. Disclaimer: We do not own Inuyasha or any other characters, blah blah and all that other stuff. Credit: We give credit to "The Fluffy Mag" for the idea of this fic!