5. Author's Note: Sorry for the wait. My internet went on the fritz.
This chapter is really long (for this story, at least), and will double the
length of the story so far. The title of the next chapter will be
"Tournament," and will cover the otherworld tournament. Don't expect it
until the end of the weekend though, because I have to rewatch the
tournament to get all the names and attacks and fights etc. Cell may or may
not fight. If he does the chapter will be much longer, since I don't feel
like reiterating the otherworld tournament that I'm sure most of you have
seen. Reviews will decide whether or not Cell will participate in the
tournament.
"King Kai, you are taking Goku to the Grand Kai's planet, correct?" "Yes, King Enma." "Well, I want you to take Cell with you." King Kai's mouth opened, closed, opened again, closed. . . "That's a very good imitation of a landed fish." King Kai glared at Cell, then turned back to Enma. "You want WHAT?!" "I want you to take. . ." "I heard you the first time. Why should I? Only heroes and Kai's are allowed on that planet!" "As my second, Cell has access to all parts of otherworld except the Supreme Kai's planet. After you drop Goku off, I need you to give Cell a tour so he doesn't get lost while on the job." "No, absolutely not. He'll rip my head off." "He can't. He's under contract." "Oh, come on King Kai, it'll be okay. It's not like your giving him a lesson or something. Besides, he can't kill you. You're already dead." "That's because HE KILLED ME!" "Geez, you don't have to scream." Goku looked a little irritated.
"I hardly need a babysitter. I'll get around fine on my own." "Cell," Baba tried to reason with him, "You really have no idea just how big otherworld is. I get lost sometimes, and I've been able to access otherworld for a couple hundred years. You'll end up wandering around for eternity." "I know instant transmission. If I get lost, I will just teleport back to the checking station." "And if you have King Kai as a tour guide the whole hassle will be avoided." Baba's voice left no room for protest. King Kai gave a sigh reminiscent of one who had long suffered such inconveniences. "Oh all right. But if Cell so much as looks at me funny, I want him sent to Hell and stay there." "That's already in his contract. You have nothing to worry about."
--*--
"Where are we going first, King Kai?" Goku literally bounced on the balls of his feet as they walked towards Snake Way. (I didn't know the great saiyan Goku could be so childish. Odd, but it isn't nearly as irritating as Vegeta's normal attitude.) "Sorry, Goku, but before I drop you off at the Grand Kai's planet I want to show Cell where Hell is, so I can get the most unpleasant part over with." "That is hardly your reason. You just want Goku along on the most dangerous part of this." "Oh be quiet, Cell. I'm doing you a favor, after all." It could have been pointed out that he was actually doing a favor for Enma, but there was no point in antagonizing the cat fish any more. It was just too easy.
"Alright then. Let's go." Cell glanced around. They had just left the checking station area and had barely set foot on Snake Way. "Erm. . . go?" "Just jump already," and King Kai gave the android a shove. Normally, Cell wouldn't have even budged, but he had felt a little disoriented ever since he had died and wasn't as self-aware as usual, so the push actually made him trip and he would have fallen through those noxious looking yellow clouds a few yards below except he caught himself in time and managed to hover. "Hey!" Cell, normally rather even tempered, shouted at King Kai. "You moronic, brain-deficient. . ." "Woohoo!" Cell's rant was interrupted as Goku did a skydive off of Snake Way and disappeared beneath the clouds. King Kai massaged his temples. "Gregory, Bubbles, I want you to wait for us at the checking station. I hardly think it's safe for you in Hell." "No problem King Kai." King Kai did his characteristic sigh. "The things I do for Enma," and turned to Cell. "Well?" "What in Kami is going on!" "Humans got one thing right in their mythologies about the afterlife. Heaven is up," King Kai gestured to the sky, "And Hell is down. So get going." Cell didn't appreciate the rather superior tone in the Kai's voice, but he hadn't inherited all that much of Vegeta's infamous temper, so he let it pass, and nodded his assent as he let himself drop. As King Kai stepped off of Snake Way, he mumbled, "I hope I remember how to fly."
--*--
Goku stopped his skydive a few feet about Blood Lake and looked around. In the six years since he had last been in Hell, not much had changed except for the number of denizens. It seemed a little odd to Goku that before there hadn't been any evil souls about, but now he could spot at least ten. And they all seemed to be congregating around the very familiar face of Dr. Gero. Goku managed to hide himself behind some rocks before anyone saw him and strained to hear what they were saying. Such underhandedness wasn't in his nature, but he knew better than to be straightforward with this group.
"I don't believe it." That was Frieza. "I'm Frieza, a great conqueror and ruler, and you expect me believe that an android, a stupid, Earth made android, will destroy the Super Saiyan Goku, when I could not?" "You forget yourself, changeling. Goku too, came from Earth. "But he was a Saiyan." "So is android #21, at least half of his DNA will be, as well as one-fourth Namek and one-fourth of yours." "It is a stupid plan. It requires you to wait another sixteen years for this android to mature, then find and absorb two other androids that would probably be destroyed by that time by Goku and his friends, and even if they weren't, would be more powerful than he was, so would probably kill him? Even if all the holes in this operation didn't become a problem, are you sure Goku wouldn't have died from old age by then?" "Patience succeeds where rashness fails, changeling." "Oh yes." A sarcastic note had entered Frieza's voice. "It sure worked very well. I'm sure dying was all part of your grand plan to destroy Goku." "I don't need to be alive for my plan to work. My computer will carry on without me."
Several things were puzzling Goku at that point. For one, hadn't Gero's lab been destroyed? And what did Frieza mean, sixteen years? Cell had killed Goku yesterday. Then something Piccolo had told him clicked. Of course! The Cell he knew was from the future, and the Cell from Goku's own timeline had been destroyed by Trunks before he had even been completed. "That's it!" The exclamation caught the crowd's attention. Goku stepped out from behind the boulders, looking a little sheepish. "Uh, hi!" Everyone stared at him. The Gero started to throw a tantrum. "How can this be! Someone got to Goku before my revenge could be completed! NOOOO!"
Goku was good natured to a fault, and had a compulsion to cheer people up, even his enemies. "Gero, no one got to me before you had your revenge. Cell did kill me. In fact, he killed me yesterday." Jeice glanced at the cheerful saiyan. "Who's Cell?" "I'm Cell." The crowd turned. Gero's frown turned upside down. Wow. That sounded stupid. "Oh! He's perfect!" And the scientist turned android ran up to Cell and started checking him over. Cell's usual neutral expression turned into one of barely contained fury.
"Damn. Guess I don't remember how to fly." King Kai walked up to the group, wringing blood out of his clothes. "That stuff about flying being like riding a bicycle was a bunch of hooie." That was when Hell broke out. Sort of. No one actually left Hell, it just got a little remodeled, especially when Cell threw Gero into a wall of spikes. Correction, Cell threw Gero through the wall of spikes, behind which the unconscious scientist skidded a few hundred yards before laying to rest at the foot of a hill, dust billowing in his wake. Cell swirled around to face the crowd of villains, fists clenched, a golden aura pulsing around him. "Any other of you fools want to try and examine me?" Frieza and his father appeared unimpressed, though the others were staring at him with expressions of awe, with a little fear added in for flavor. "So, one of Gero's creations did kill Goku." Cell's eyes narrowed, but before he could do further damage to the residents, King Kai intervened. "Okay, Cell," his voice uncharacteristically cheerful, "This is Hell. Not much to see. This is Blood Lake," and he gestured behind him, "These are the evil souls," this time pointing to Frieza, King Cold, Zarbon, Dodoria, Android #19, and what remained of the Ginyu Force, "And that is the exit," jerking his head in Goku's direction (the saiyan was skipping stones on Blood Lake by that time). Goku's head jerked around at the mention of his name. "Huh?" "It's time to go, Goku. Take us back to Gregory and Bubbles. Going through the clouds is a one way door, you see." King Kai said this in response to Cell's slightly quizzical look. "Oh." The saiyan grabbed King Kai by the shoulder and teleported away, though not before waving good-bye.
Silence followed the pair's exit. It didn't last. "The saiyan race is evolving in the wrong direction, I swear. That monkey has zero survival instincts." "He never needed them." Frieza gave Cell an odd look. "Oh?" "It was his salvation for a long time, that odd compassion he has. I wonder. . . if that is why it is impossible to defeat him." "You did. He didn't beat you." "Yes, he did." Cell teleported away, leaving Frieza and King Cold wondering what he had meant (the others didn't get it), but Cell couldn't have told them had they asked.
--*--
"Our next stop is the Grand Kai's planet." "We can fly. Why are we taking a plane?" "There are some things you just don't ask, Cell. Like why Mickey Mouse wears gloves, or how to program the clock on the VCR. This has to do with stuff beyond any mortal's comprehension." "Has anyone ever tried to fly there?" "Take it as it is, Cell. You don't need to know how a car works in order to drive, we don't need to know why either." "But. . ." "Just get on the plane already!" And the Kai stomped off. "Gee, I don't remember him being this grumpy before. He must still be a little tweaked about the whole dying thing. I doubt it's anything personal." "Goku, I'm the one who killed him. It is personal, and my feelings are hardly wounded by his animosity towards me. Besides, it must irritate him to be expected to know everything and not, really." "Oh well. Last one to the plane is a rotten egg!" With that, the hero of Earth dashed off. Cell felt a small smile cross his lips, but quickly squelched the feeling of amusement. Why was Goku acting so unguarded? The man that had been fighting him less than twenty-four hours ago was acting as though they were friends, comrades. Could he have so easily forgotten that Cell had tried to destroy all the saiyan loved and cherished? Cell had thought Goku's notoriously short memory was overrated, but he wasn't so sure anymore. No one could possibly be as forgiving as Goku appeared to be. . . could they?
--*--
The Grand Kai's planet was much larger than King Kai's, though it still couldn't compare in size to Earth. It was very green and, well, flat, for lack of a better adjective. Not the most interesting of locations, but the residents more than made up for the blandness of the surroundings. Everyone was a fighter, and everyone, without exception, was training. True, not many of them had anything resembling impressive power, but the sheer variety of techniques and fighting styles exhibited could hold a warrior's attention for a hundred lifetimes. Luckily, time was all the fighters had.
"Where are we headed, King Kai?" "The Grand Kai's palace, and here it's North Kai, Goku. There are four Kais that look over this sector of the universe, and I oversee the north quadrant. The Grand Kai is over us, and he looks over about one-sixteenth of the universe. There are four Supreme Kais, or used to be, at any rate, and they each guard one quarter of the universe. The Dai Supreme Kai is over them, and he overlooks the entire universe." "So there are sixty-four Kais of your level?" "That is correct, Cell. Each planet also has its own personal guardian, or Kami, as they are sometimes known. They are a sub-division of the Kai, though Kamis are not Kai born, and can be of any race."
"I assume these are your new recruits, North Kai?" King Kai bristled. (Who does North Kai dislike so greatly that so much anger is radiating from his chi? Even I didn't get this reaction from him.) It didn't take Cell long to get his answer. "So what if they are, West Kai?" The android and the saiyan turned around. (The short one with the monocle must be West Kai. The tall one behind him. . . what data is available? The halo and his presence on this planet and behind West Kai indicates he is one of the dead heroes from the west quadrant. Resembles Piccolo a bit. A confident stance, rather impressive ki . . . he might even be better than Goku.) "No need to be so hostile, North Kai. It was a simple question." "Fine, here's a simple answer. Yes, they are." (Completely neglecting to mention I'm just here for a tour.) "Hmmm." West Kai looked Goku and Cell over, Goku giving a grin in response and Cell a rather uninterested glance. "They don't look half bad, but it's obvious neither of them measure up to my Pikkon." (So, Pikkon is it? He must be the prized fighter of the west quadrant.) "Hmmm." This time it was North Kai who evaluated. "Well, I'm sure in the west quadrant Pikkon's power must be impressive, but trust me when I say no one in the universe measures up to Cell and Goku." West Kai gave a rather nasty grin. "Someone must. How else would they die?" "For your information, Goku committed suicide to prevent his planet from being destroyed, and Cell was ganged up on by six fighters." West Kai paused, obviously looking for a comeback, but was distracted. "What's this?" He walked up close to North Kai, making the slightly taller Kai uneasy. "What are you doing?" He then noticed what West Kai was staring at, right before the shorter Kai burst out laughing. "Hahahahaha! I don't believe it! You're dead!"
"Are you serious? North Kai is dead?" This came from behind Cell, where two other Kais stood. The one who had spoken was South Kai, the tallest of all four Kais who was dressed in purple. Both of them stared at North Kai's halo. "Oh my, it's true! North Kai is dead! What a fantastic joke! Hehehehe!" This came from East Kai, the only female Kai. She had blonde hair (which was odd, because none of the other Kais had hair) and wore pink. Cell frowned. "I don't see what's so amusing about this." "This is the first time a Kai has died in 5,000 years." Goku and Cell glanced at Pikkon in surprise. It was the first time the green fighter had spoken. His voice wasn't as deep as Cell's, though it was deeper than Goku's. "And that is cause for merriment?" "All four Kais have a perpetual rivalry, and the North Kai has been rather arrogant lately. The other three just want to bring him down a notch."
The other three Kai's heckled North Kai for a few minutes, then for a few more when they found out that his planet had been blown up as well. After the initial delight had worn off, West Kai had an idea. "You know, this is the first time in three hundred years that all four Kais have been together at once!" "Yeah." "You're right!" "Therefore," West Kai took a dramatic pause, "We should have a tournament to celebrate this reunion! It will also be a chance to prove which quadrant has the best fighters." "I already know Cell and Goku are better than your weaklings, but they'll participate in the tournament so it'll finally permeate your thick skull, West Kai!"
"We still have to ask the Grand Kai for permission." This quieted the Kais down somewhat, but West Kai was on a roll. "It's been fifteen thousand years since the last tournament. It'll be entertaining, and the Grand Kai loves entertainment. I bet he'll even supply the prize!" "The prize?" "Think about it. What is the one thing all fighters strive for? "What!?" "You don't mean. . ." "Yes! A lesson from the Grand Kai. That's ten- thousand years of training a fighter gets to skip. There won't be a fighter on this planet who won't want to participate!" "I'll go ask him now!" And East Kai jumped on her hover bike and rode off in the direction of the palace.
"Well, Pikkon and I had better go and prepare for the tournament. We wouldn't want to lose just because he pulled a thigh muscle or something." "I have to go tell my fighters as well, so they can start to warm up." The remaining two Kais walked off. As soon as they were out of hearing distance, King Kai cackled. "Those fools have no idea what they are getting into. With you two on my team as wild cards, there is no way I can lose!"
--*--
The three walked for a bit more before getting into the area where the fighters from north quadrant trained. Cell and Goku were introduced to everyone, Goku enthusiastic as always about meeting new fighters, Cell staying quiet for the most part and spending his time analyzing their new acquaintances. The only one of any note was a fighter named Olibu, who also came from Earth though had died millennia before. He was a big man with long blonde hair and a white tunic. All the other fighters had rather pitiful power levels, though they could possess techniques that would make them a challenge to defeat.
What truly bothered Cell about this whole thing was not the prospect of the tournament, but the fact that King Kai assumed so readily he would fight. He was sure if he gave it his all and didn't mess around like he did on Earth, he would win with little opposition. Cell knew there was zero chance that Goku wouldn't participate. He might even win if Cell decided not to enter, since his power was superior to Olibu's, and Pikkon's power wasn't so significantly greater that Goku couldn't overcome it with some good tactics. But Cell wasn't one of King Kai's fighters. He was under the contract of King Enma as a litigator and bodyguard, and had little interest in fighting that would be more akin to slaughter. Of course, there was always Goku and Pikkon for some real sparring, but destroying the weak wasn't a part of Cell's lifestyle anymore, and he didn't miss it. The android also didn't really feel like earning King Kai any kudos by winning the tournament. He didn't particularly like the arrogant little cat fish. Was it worth it to even fight? Was he even eligible for the tournament? What was the big deal about a lesson from the Grand Kai anyway?
"King Kai, you are taking Goku to the Grand Kai's planet, correct?" "Yes, King Enma." "Well, I want you to take Cell with you." King Kai's mouth opened, closed, opened again, closed. . . "That's a very good imitation of a landed fish." King Kai glared at Cell, then turned back to Enma. "You want WHAT?!" "I want you to take. . ." "I heard you the first time. Why should I? Only heroes and Kai's are allowed on that planet!" "As my second, Cell has access to all parts of otherworld except the Supreme Kai's planet. After you drop Goku off, I need you to give Cell a tour so he doesn't get lost while on the job." "No, absolutely not. He'll rip my head off." "He can't. He's under contract." "Oh, come on King Kai, it'll be okay. It's not like your giving him a lesson or something. Besides, he can't kill you. You're already dead." "That's because HE KILLED ME!" "Geez, you don't have to scream." Goku looked a little irritated.
"I hardly need a babysitter. I'll get around fine on my own." "Cell," Baba tried to reason with him, "You really have no idea just how big otherworld is. I get lost sometimes, and I've been able to access otherworld for a couple hundred years. You'll end up wandering around for eternity." "I know instant transmission. If I get lost, I will just teleport back to the checking station." "And if you have King Kai as a tour guide the whole hassle will be avoided." Baba's voice left no room for protest. King Kai gave a sigh reminiscent of one who had long suffered such inconveniences. "Oh all right. But if Cell so much as looks at me funny, I want him sent to Hell and stay there." "That's already in his contract. You have nothing to worry about."
--*--
"Where are we going first, King Kai?" Goku literally bounced on the balls of his feet as they walked towards Snake Way. (I didn't know the great saiyan Goku could be so childish. Odd, but it isn't nearly as irritating as Vegeta's normal attitude.) "Sorry, Goku, but before I drop you off at the Grand Kai's planet I want to show Cell where Hell is, so I can get the most unpleasant part over with." "That is hardly your reason. You just want Goku along on the most dangerous part of this." "Oh be quiet, Cell. I'm doing you a favor, after all." It could have been pointed out that he was actually doing a favor for Enma, but there was no point in antagonizing the cat fish any more. It was just too easy.
"Alright then. Let's go." Cell glanced around. They had just left the checking station area and had barely set foot on Snake Way. "Erm. . . go?" "Just jump already," and King Kai gave the android a shove. Normally, Cell wouldn't have even budged, but he had felt a little disoriented ever since he had died and wasn't as self-aware as usual, so the push actually made him trip and he would have fallen through those noxious looking yellow clouds a few yards below except he caught himself in time and managed to hover. "Hey!" Cell, normally rather even tempered, shouted at King Kai. "You moronic, brain-deficient. . ." "Woohoo!" Cell's rant was interrupted as Goku did a skydive off of Snake Way and disappeared beneath the clouds. King Kai massaged his temples. "Gregory, Bubbles, I want you to wait for us at the checking station. I hardly think it's safe for you in Hell." "No problem King Kai." King Kai did his characteristic sigh. "The things I do for Enma," and turned to Cell. "Well?" "What in Kami is going on!" "Humans got one thing right in their mythologies about the afterlife. Heaven is up," King Kai gestured to the sky, "And Hell is down. So get going." Cell didn't appreciate the rather superior tone in the Kai's voice, but he hadn't inherited all that much of Vegeta's infamous temper, so he let it pass, and nodded his assent as he let himself drop. As King Kai stepped off of Snake Way, he mumbled, "I hope I remember how to fly."
--*--
Goku stopped his skydive a few feet about Blood Lake and looked around. In the six years since he had last been in Hell, not much had changed except for the number of denizens. It seemed a little odd to Goku that before there hadn't been any evil souls about, but now he could spot at least ten. And they all seemed to be congregating around the very familiar face of Dr. Gero. Goku managed to hide himself behind some rocks before anyone saw him and strained to hear what they were saying. Such underhandedness wasn't in his nature, but he knew better than to be straightforward with this group.
"I don't believe it." That was Frieza. "I'm Frieza, a great conqueror and ruler, and you expect me believe that an android, a stupid, Earth made android, will destroy the Super Saiyan Goku, when I could not?" "You forget yourself, changeling. Goku too, came from Earth. "But he was a Saiyan." "So is android #21, at least half of his DNA will be, as well as one-fourth Namek and one-fourth of yours." "It is a stupid plan. It requires you to wait another sixteen years for this android to mature, then find and absorb two other androids that would probably be destroyed by that time by Goku and his friends, and even if they weren't, would be more powerful than he was, so would probably kill him? Even if all the holes in this operation didn't become a problem, are you sure Goku wouldn't have died from old age by then?" "Patience succeeds where rashness fails, changeling." "Oh yes." A sarcastic note had entered Frieza's voice. "It sure worked very well. I'm sure dying was all part of your grand plan to destroy Goku." "I don't need to be alive for my plan to work. My computer will carry on without me."
Several things were puzzling Goku at that point. For one, hadn't Gero's lab been destroyed? And what did Frieza mean, sixteen years? Cell had killed Goku yesterday. Then something Piccolo had told him clicked. Of course! The Cell he knew was from the future, and the Cell from Goku's own timeline had been destroyed by Trunks before he had even been completed. "That's it!" The exclamation caught the crowd's attention. Goku stepped out from behind the boulders, looking a little sheepish. "Uh, hi!" Everyone stared at him. The Gero started to throw a tantrum. "How can this be! Someone got to Goku before my revenge could be completed! NOOOO!"
Goku was good natured to a fault, and had a compulsion to cheer people up, even his enemies. "Gero, no one got to me before you had your revenge. Cell did kill me. In fact, he killed me yesterday." Jeice glanced at the cheerful saiyan. "Who's Cell?" "I'm Cell." The crowd turned. Gero's frown turned upside down. Wow. That sounded stupid. "Oh! He's perfect!" And the scientist turned android ran up to Cell and started checking him over. Cell's usual neutral expression turned into one of barely contained fury.
"Damn. Guess I don't remember how to fly." King Kai walked up to the group, wringing blood out of his clothes. "That stuff about flying being like riding a bicycle was a bunch of hooie." That was when Hell broke out. Sort of. No one actually left Hell, it just got a little remodeled, especially when Cell threw Gero into a wall of spikes. Correction, Cell threw Gero through the wall of spikes, behind which the unconscious scientist skidded a few hundred yards before laying to rest at the foot of a hill, dust billowing in his wake. Cell swirled around to face the crowd of villains, fists clenched, a golden aura pulsing around him. "Any other of you fools want to try and examine me?" Frieza and his father appeared unimpressed, though the others were staring at him with expressions of awe, with a little fear added in for flavor. "So, one of Gero's creations did kill Goku." Cell's eyes narrowed, but before he could do further damage to the residents, King Kai intervened. "Okay, Cell," his voice uncharacteristically cheerful, "This is Hell. Not much to see. This is Blood Lake," and he gestured behind him, "These are the evil souls," this time pointing to Frieza, King Cold, Zarbon, Dodoria, Android #19, and what remained of the Ginyu Force, "And that is the exit," jerking his head in Goku's direction (the saiyan was skipping stones on Blood Lake by that time). Goku's head jerked around at the mention of his name. "Huh?" "It's time to go, Goku. Take us back to Gregory and Bubbles. Going through the clouds is a one way door, you see." King Kai said this in response to Cell's slightly quizzical look. "Oh." The saiyan grabbed King Kai by the shoulder and teleported away, though not before waving good-bye.
Silence followed the pair's exit. It didn't last. "The saiyan race is evolving in the wrong direction, I swear. That monkey has zero survival instincts." "He never needed them." Frieza gave Cell an odd look. "Oh?" "It was his salvation for a long time, that odd compassion he has. I wonder. . . if that is why it is impossible to defeat him." "You did. He didn't beat you." "Yes, he did." Cell teleported away, leaving Frieza and King Cold wondering what he had meant (the others didn't get it), but Cell couldn't have told them had they asked.
--*--
"Our next stop is the Grand Kai's planet." "We can fly. Why are we taking a plane?" "There are some things you just don't ask, Cell. Like why Mickey Mouse wears gloves, or how to program the clock on the VCR. This has to do with stuff beyond any mortal's comprehension." "Has anyone ever tried to fly there?" "Take it as it is, Cell. You don't need to know how a car works in order to drive, we don't need to know why either." "But. . ." "Just get on the plane already!" And the Kai stomped off. "Gee, I don't remember him being this grumpy before. He must still be a little tweaked about the whole dying thing. I doubt it's anything personal." "Goku, I'm the one who killed him. It is personal, and my feelings are hardly wounded by his animosity towards me. Besides, it must irritate him to be expected to know everything and not, really." "Oh well. Last one to the plane is a rotten egg!" With that, the hero of Earth dashed off. Cell felt a small smile cross his lips, but quickly squelched the feeling of amusement. Why was Goku acting so unguarded? The man that had been fighting him less than twenty-four hours ago was acting as though they were friends, comrades. Could he have so easily forgotten that Cell had tried to destroy all the saiyan loved and cherished? Cell had thought Goku's notoriously short memory was overrated, but he wasn't so sure anymore. No one could possibly be as forgiving as Goku appeared to be. . . could they?
--*--
The Grand Kai's planet was much larger than King Kai's, though it still couldn't compare in size to Earth. It was very green and, well, flat, for lack of a better adjective. Not the most interesting of locations, but the residents more than made up for the blandness of the surroundings. Everyone was a fighter, and everyone, without exception, was training. True, not many of them had anything resembling impressive power, but the sheer variety of techniques and fighting styles exhibited could hold a warrior's attention for a hundred lifetimes. Luckily, time was all the fighters had.
"Where are we headed, King Kai?" "The Grand Kai's palace, and here it's North Kai, Goku. There are four Kais that look over this sector of the universe, and I oversee the north quadrant. The Grand Kai is over us, and he looks over about one-sixteenth of the universe. There are four Supreme Kais, or used to be, at any rate, and they each guard one quarter of the universe. The Dai Supreme Kai is over them, and he overlooks the entire universe." "So there are sixty-four Kais of your level?" "That is correct, Cell. Each planet also has its own personal guardian, or Kami, as they are sometimes known. They are a sub-division of the Kai, though Kamis are not Kai born, and can be of any race."
"I assume these are your new recruits, North Kai?" King Kai bristled. (Who does North Kai dislike so greatly that so much anger is radiating from his chi? Even I didn't get this reaction from him.) It didn't take Cell long to get his answer. "So what if they are, West Kai?" The android and the saiyan turned around. (The short one with the monocle must be West Kai. The tall one behind him. . . what data is available? The halo and his presence on this planet and behind West Kai indicates he is one of the dead heroes from the west quadrant. Resembles Piccolo a bit. A confident stance, rather impressive ki . . . he might even be better than Goku.) "No need to be so hostile, North Kai. It was a simple question." "Fine, here's a simple answer. Yes, they are." (Completely neglecting to mention I'm just here for a tour.) "Hmmm." West Kai looked Goku and Cell over, Goku giving a grin in response and Cell a rather uninterested glance. "They don't look half bad, but it's obvious neither of them measure up to my Pikkon." (So, Pikkon is it? He must be the prized fighter of the west quadrant.) "Hmmm." This time it was North Kai who evaluated. "Well, I'm sure in the west quadrant Pikkon's power must be impressive, but trust me when I say no one in the universe measures up to Cell and Goku." West Kai gave a rather nasty grin. "Someone must. How else would they die?" "For your information, Goku committed suicide to prevent his planet from being destroyed, and Cell was ganged up on by six fighters." West Kai paused, obviously looking for a comeback, but was distracted. "What's this?" He walked up close to North Kai, making the slightly taller Kai uneasy. "What are you doing?" He then noticed what West Kai was staring at, right before the shorter Kai burst out laughing. "Hahahahaha! I don't believe it! You're dead!"
"Are you serious? North Kai is dead?" This came from behind Cell, where two other Kais stood. The one who had spoken was South Kai, the tallest of all four Kais who was dressed in purple. Both of them stared at North Kai's halo. "Oh my, it's true! North Kai is dead! What a fantastic joke! Hehehehe!" This came from East Kai, the only female Kai. She had blonde hair (which was odd, because none of the other Kais had hair) and wore pink. Cell frowned. "I don't see what's so amusing about this." "This is the first time a Kai has died in 5,000 years." Goku and Cell glanced at Pikkon in surprise. It was the first time the green fighter had spoken. His voice wasn't as deep as Cell's, though it was deeper than Goku's. "And that is cause for merriment?" "All four Kais have a perpetual rivalry, and the North Kai has been rather arrogant lately. The other three just want to bring him down a notch."
The other three Kai's heckled North Kai for a few minutes, then for a few more when they found out that his planet had been blown up as well. After the initial delight had worn off, West Kai had an idea. "You know, this is the first time in three hundred years that all four Kais have been together at once!" "Yeah." "You're right!" "Therefore," West Kai took a dramatic pause, "We should have a tournament to celebrate this reunion! It will also be a chance to prove which quadrant has the best fighters." "I already know Cell and Goku are better than your weaklings, but they'll participate in the tournament so it'll finally permeate your thick skull, West Kai!"
"We still have to ask the Grand Kai for permission." This quieted the Kais down somewhat, but West Kai was on a roll. "It's been fifteen thousand years since the last tournament. It'll be entertaining, and the Grand Kai loves entertainment. I bet he'll even supply the prize!" "The prize?" "Think about it. What is the one thing all fighters strive for? "What!?" "You don't mean. . ." "Yes! A lesson from the Grand Kai. That's ten- thousand years of training a fighter gets to skip. There won't be a fighter on this planet who won't want to participate!" "I'll go ask him now!" And East Kai jumped on her hover bike and rode off in the direction of the palace.
"Well, Pikkon and I had better go and prepare for the tournament. We wouldn't want to lose just because he pulled a thigh muscle or something." "I have to go tell my fighters as well, so they can start to warm up." The remaining two Kais walked off. As soon as they were out of hearing distance, King Kai cackled. "Those fools have no idea what they are getting into. With you two on my team as wild cards, there is no way I can lose!"
--*--
The three walked for a bit more before getting into the area where the fighters from north quadrant trained. Cell and Goku were introduced to everyone, Goku enthusiastic as always about meeting new fighters, Cell staying quiet for the most part and spending his time analyzing their new acquaintances. The only one of any note was a fighter named Olibu, who also came from Earth though had died millennia before. He was a big man with long blonde hair and a white tunic. All the other fighters had rather pitiful power levels, though they could possess techniques that would make them a challenge to defeat.
What truly bothered Cell about this whole thing was not the prospect of the tournament, but the fact that King Kai assumed so readily he would fight. He was sure if he gave it his all and didn't mess around like he did on Earth, he would win with little opposition. Cell knew there was zero chance that Goku wouldn't participate. He might even win if Cell decided not to enter, since his power was superior to Olibu's, and Pikkon's power wasn't so significantly greater that Goku couldn't overcome it with some good tactics. But Cell wasn't one of King Kai's fighters. He was under the contract of King Enma as a litigator and bodyguard, and had little interest in fighting that would be more akin to slaughter. Of course, there was always Goku and Pikkon for some real sparring, but destroying the weak wasn't a part of Cell's lifestyle anymore, and he didn't miss it. The android also didn't really feel like earning King Kai any kudos by winning the tournament. He didn't particularly like the arrogant little cat fish. Was it worth it to even fight? Was he even eligible for the tournament? What was the big deal about a lesson from the Grand Kai anyway?