Chapter 4.
The next day was horrible. Harry and Ron were hardly speaking to her...no wonder, they wouldn't know what to think. And, as she sat beside them, or near them, in most of her classes, she couldn't escape the awkwardness, not to mention the growls she got from Ginny when they passed in the corridors, or at mealtimes in the Great Hall. And by now even her teachers were noticing her lack of interest in her work. Professor McGonnagall stopped her at the end of transfiguration.
"Miss Granger, can I have a word?" She asked, as she watched the last of the class leave through the door. She lead her to the front of the classroom. Hermione just stood there, looking at the ground.
"I really have to get to Potions, Professor." she said.
"Hermione, are you alright?" she asked softly. "You're work has dropped, you got 57% in the test I set you last week."
Hermione's stomach fell at the news. "I...I'm sorry, Professor. I've...umm...I've been revising alot for my other subjects this year. I...I guess I thought I could get away without revising transfiguration."
"Well, clearly not, Granger." She replied. "Are you sure that's all?"
"Yes, Proffessor." Hermione answered uncertainly.
"Well...if this is all you're going to tell me. I'll take it as that. Now hurry along now, you don't want to be too late for Proffessor Snape."
-----
That night, Hermione sat in the common room once again, alone. Her mind...or the dim lighting in the room...was playing tricks on her, she kept seeing moving shadows on the walls...she kept thinking he was approaching her again, she could almost hear his breath behind her, and his laugh. Everything played in her head, over and over again, as it had since that first fateful night. Ron's face, disappointed and confused...Ginny's accusations.....McGonnagall's concern...tears fell once again down her already tear-stained cheeks. She couldn't take much more. No one was talking to her, all her friend's thought she had cheated on Ron...as Ginny had soon spread the word...everyone whispered to their friends when they saw her in the corridors...the teachers were shouting at her for not working..."This is no life," she thought to herself, as she got up. She didn't know where she was going, she just wanted to get out. She ran out of the common room, turned a corner, and ran right into...him. She froze and stared up at him.
"Well Well Well! Look who we have here! Looking for me, were you?" He snarled.
"Leave. Me. Alone." She shot, not knowing where this new strength was coming from.
"Oh." He said, taken aback by her speaking back to him. "Oh, no, we can't have this!" He said, and he put his hands round her head and brought her to his face, while she struggled under his grip. He lowered his face to hers and put his lips on hers.
"No...no!" She struggled to break free. She didn't want this to happen again. She couldn't let it. He had already stolen her boyfriend...now she had lost Ron as a friend...and he had stolen her other friends from her too. All the hate for him built up. In one movement, she raised her arm and punched him in the face, making him stagger back, but one hand was still on her head. She lifted her leg and kicked him...hard, right where it hurts, and left him doubled over and groaning as she continued running.
Tears running down her cheeks, she ran up the stairs, nearly colliding with Fred and George who were coming the opposite way.
"Hey Hermione! Watch out!" Fred laughed. "Hey...what's up?" He added, as he noticed her distress, but she kept on running. She ran up another floor, now exhausted. She tripped on the last step and collapsed on the cold, stone floor, sobbing her heart out. She flinched as she felt a hand on her shoulder. "No, no, get off me...don't touch me!" She yelled out, batting the hand away. She thought it was him. "No, no, stop it, stop it!" She said, head in her arms, lying on the floor, crying.
"Hermione, Hermione, Hey!" It was George's voice. She looked up, relived and embarrassed to see the twins standing there.
"OH, Fred, George...I'm so sorry...I thought...I thought..." but she collapsed in tears once again. She no longer cared whether they saw her weakness.
George took her in his arms and hugged her. She didn't raise her arms to hug him back, but she didn't pull away this time. For the first time in what felt like a long time, she felt safe. Fred came up and hugged her as well from the other side.
"Now, you have to tell us what's happened to our little Hermione to make her so upset!" Fred said, innocently, as she flinched at the name 'Little Hermione'
"I'm No-One's 'Little Hermione'" She spat at him, pulling away.
"Sorry." He said quickly. They both stared at her, they were also sitting on the floor now. "Hermione," George started after a while's silence. "Who's done this. Who's said something, or...done something to make you so upset? What's happened?"
His caring voice made the tears come again. It was the first time someone had tried to be nice in a long time, Harry and Ron had stopped asking after a while, after getting the same answers all the time, and they hadn't spoken to her much since Ginny told them about the library.
"No, no. I'm fine. I'm fine." She said, standing up and smoothing down her skirt. She wiped her eyes. "I'm...I'm going to go for a bath." She said, donning the same false smile she had used on Harry and Ron so many times, although this time, she didn't think it had worked quite as well on the twins. They looked at eachother.
"Well, Ok. But you have to promise to talk to us later." Fred added hesitantly.
"I will, I will." And she ran off to the prefects bathroom before they could say another word. The hug had made her feel better...but also made her feel worse, she hated the attention she was getting, all because of him. Because he had raped her. At the thought of that word she started crying again. She looked around the bathroom. There were a row of sinks on the wall to her left, cast in porcelain tiles. They looked so clean, so pure...the opposite of how she felt. She walked over to examine them in more detail. There was a bar of soap by each sink and a small glass, for water when brushing teeth, she thought. She looked up and caught her reflection. She was a mess. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, her hair was a mess, and he cheeks were tear stained. She turned on the tap and filled her hands with water and splashed her face. She looked at the little glass and filled it too, taking a long drink, feeling the cool water going down her throat. She stared at her reflection. "I Hate You." she said to the mirror. "I. HATE YOU." She yelled. In sudden rage, she flung the glass to the mirror, where it shattered and left small flecks of water. The mirror remained uncracked. She stared at herself, as if the glass had awoken another side of her.
She walked over to the bathtub and filled it, walking around it in circles as it filled. She started taking off her clothes, with new determination. When she was left standing in her underwear, she caught a glance of herself in the mirror once more, and smirked. His Smirk. She laughed at that. His laugh too. With still her underwear on, she climbed into the water. It was only warm, not as hot as it had been last time. She felt like she should be crying again, but there were no tears left. She surprised herself to find that she was laughing hyseterically. All the crying, and the fact that she had not eaten all day made her dizzy. The laughing had given her a headache. She was also physically shattered, from lack of sleep, the nightmares kept coming back. She felt herself loosing conciousness and slip down into the water. She smiled with the last of her energy...finally, she was going to be at peace, finally she could be happy. She laughed in her head...it had been this simple all along, yet she had chosen to suffer all these weeks. If only he could see her now, finally taking control, not weak little Hermione. Happy Hermione, she thought, as all her senses left her and everything became dark. Happy Hermione.
The next day was horrible. Harry and Ron were hardly speaking to her...no wonder, they wouldn't know what to think. And, as she sat beside them, or near them, in most of her classes, she couldn't escape the awkwardness, not to mention the growls she got from Ginny when they passed in the corridors, or at mealtimes in the Great Hall. And by now even her teachers were noticing her lack of interest in her work. Professor McGonnagall stopped her at the end of transfiguration.
"Miss Granger, can I have a word?" She asked, as she watched the last of the class leave through the door. She lead her to the front of the classroom. Hermione just stood there, looking at the ground.
"I really have to get to Potions, Professor." she said.
"Hermione, are you alright?" she asked softly. "You're work has dropped, you got 57% in the test I set you last week."
Hermione's stomach fell at the news. "I...I'm sorry, Professor. I've...umm...I've been revising alot for my other subjects this year. I...I guess I thought I could get away without revising transfiguration."
"Well, clearly not, Granger." She replied. "Are you sure that's all?"
"Yes, Proffessor." Hermione answered uncertainly.
"Well...if this is all you're going to tell me. I'll take it as that. Now hurry along now, you don't want to be too late for Proffessor Snape."
-----
That night, Hermione sat in the common room once again, alone. Her mind...or the dim lighting in the room...was playing tricks on her, she kept seeing moving shadows on the walls...she kept thinking he was approaching her again, she could almost hear his breath behind her, and his laugh. Everything played in her head, over and over again, as it had since that first fateful night. Ron's face, disappointed and confused...Ginny's accusations.....McGonnagall's concern...tears fell once again down her already tear-stained cheeks. She couldn't take much more. No one was talking to her, all her friend's thought she had cheated on Ron...as Ginny had soon spread the word...everyone whispered to their friends when they saw her in the corridors...the teachers were shouting at her for not working..."This is no life," she thought to herself, as she got up. She didn't know where she was going, she just wanted to get out. She ran out of the common room, turned a corner, and ran right into...him. She froze and stared up at him.
"Well Well Well! Look who we have here! Looking for me, were you?" He snarled.
"Leave. Me. Alone." She shot, not knowing where this new strength was coming from.
"Oh." He said, taken aback by her speaking back to him. "Oh, no, we can't have this!" He said, and he put his hands round her head and brought her to his face, while she struggled under his grip. He lowered his face to hers and put his lips on hers.
"No...no!" She struggled to break free. She didn't want this to happen again. She couldn't let it. He had already stolen her boyfriend...now she had lost Ron as a friend...and he had stolen her other friends from her too. All the hate for him built up. In one movement, she raised her arm and punched him in the face, making him stagger back, but one hand was still on her head. She lifted her leg and kicked him...hard, right where it hurts, and left him doubled over and groaning as she continued running.
Tears running down her cheeks, she ran up the stairs, nearly colliding with Fred and George who were coming the opposite way.
"Hey Hermione! Watch out!" Fred laughed. "Hey...what's up?" He added, as he noticed her distress, but she kept on running. She ran up another floor, now exhausted. She tripped on the last step and collapsed on the cold, stone floor, sobbing her heart out. She flinched as she felt a hand on her shoulder. "No, no, get off me...don't touch me!" She yelled out, batting the hand away. She thought it was him. "No, no, stop it, stop it!" She said, head in her arms, lying on the floor, crying.
"Hermione, Hermione, Hey!" It was George's voice. She looked up, relived and embarrassed to see the twins standing there.
"OH, Fred, George...I'm so sorry...I thought...I thought..." but she collapsed in tears once again. She no longer cared whether they saw her weakness.
George took her in his arms and hugged her. She didn't raise her arms to hug him back, but she didn't pull away this time. For the first time in what felt like a long time, she felt safe. Fred came up and hugged her as well from the other side.
"Now, you have to tell us what's happened to our little Hermione to make her so upset!" Fred said, innocently, as she flinched at the name 'Little Hermione'
"I'm No-One's 'Little Hermione'" She spat at him, pulling away.
"Sorry." He said quickly. They both stared at her, they were also sitting on the floor now. "Hermione," George started after a while's silence. "Who's done this. Who's said something, or...done something to make you so upset? What's happened?"
His caring voice made the tears come again. It was the first time someone had tried to be nice in a long time, Harry and Ron had stopped asking after a while, after getting the same answers all the time, and they hadn't spoken to her much since Ginny told them about the library.
"No, no. I'm fine. I'm fine." She said, standing up and smoothing down her skirt. She wiped her eyes. "I'm...I'm going to go for a bath." She said, donning the same false smile she had used on Harry and Ron so many times, although this time, she didn't think it had worked quite as well on the twins. They looked at eachother.
"Well, Ok. But you have to promise to talk to us later." Fred added hesitantly.
"I will, I will." And she ran off to the prefects bathroom before they could say another word. The hug had made her feel better...but also made her feel worse, she hated the attention she was getting, all because of him. Because he had raped her. At the thought of that word she started crying again. She looked around the bathroom. There were a row of sinks on the wall to her left, cast in porcelain tiles. They looked so clean, so pure...the opposite of how she felt. She walked over to examine them in more detail. There was a bar of soap by each sink and a small glass, for water when brushing teeth, she thought. She looked up and caught her reflection. She was a mess. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, her hair was a mess, and he cheeks were tear stained. She turned on the tap and filled her hands with water and splashed her face. She looked at the little glass and filled it too, taking a long drink, feeling the cool water going down her throat. She stared at her reflection. "I Hate You." she said to the mirror. "I. HATE YOU." She yelled. In sudden rage, she flung the glass to the mirror, where it shattered and left small flecks of water. The mirror remained uncracked. She stared at herself, as if the glass had awoken another side of her.
She walked over to the bathtub and filled it, walking around it in circles as it filled. She started taking off her clothes, with new determination. When she was left standing in her underwear, she caught a glance of herself in the mirror once more, and smirked. His Smirk. She laughed at that. His laugh too. With still her underwear on, she climbed into the water. It was only warm, not as hot as it had been last time. She felt like she should be crying again, but there were no tears left. She surprised herself to find that she was laughing hyseterically. All the crying, and the fact that she had not eaten all day made her dizzy. The laughing had given her a headache. She was also physically shattered, from lack of sleep, the nightmares kept coming back. She felt herself loosing conciousness and slip down into the water. She smiled with the last of her energy...finally, she was going to be at peace, finally she could be happy. She laughed in her head...it had been this simple all along, yet she had chosen to suffer all these weeks. If only he could see her now, finally taking control, not weak little Hermione. Happy Hermione, she thought, as all her senses left her and everything became dark. Happy Hermione.