Fall break….yes….Fall break is a good thing…..and I get five whole days of it….yes…..
One thing I would like to ask of you is not to flame me at the moment. If you have a problem, try to put it as nicely as possible without lying. I think it's called tact…anyway, I'm not feeling very good emotionally at the moment, so if you could keep the bad comments down….like from the Ghoul King….that person has told me how bad some of my stories are…..like I need to be reminded of my incompetence T_T …..
I mean for godsakes people! The village psychopath has feelings too! _
Chapter 8. The FoxFather
His eyes widened and his ears twitched, then Inu Yasha flew right into him knocking him several feet away. The man he was fighting sweatdropped.
Shio and Inu Yasha lay on the ground smiling with swirly eyes.
"H~e~y~I~n~u~Y~a~s~h~a~!~W~h~a~t~'s~u~p?" @_@ Shio asked in a dazed voice.
Sango and Miroku came running in just as the prince and his men realized they were no match for Shio and his friends. So of course, they ran away with their tails between their legs just like puppies – except the men were on horses.
Naraku jumped into Sumiko's arms and she noticed that the cavalry had arrived. "Hi Monkey! Hi San-goo!" Sumiko smiled and waved her hand violently.
"Hi, Sumiko!" they sprinted past her to go help their doggy friends.
"Where's that nice skirt lady?" Sumiko asked.
They didn't hear her so she hopped off in the direction they came from. And sure enough, Kagome was pushing her bike with Shippou in the basket. They were so sadly behind the group. "Hi nice lady!" Sumiko sprinted over to her while holding Naraku.
Kagome was surprised to see her here. "Sumiko-chan?"
Sumiko stopped herself before she ran into her, grinned brightly and looked at her stomach. "Hey you've got a throw pillow under you clothes!"
Kagome sweatdropped and laughed nervously.
"It's a baby, Sumiko!" Shippou said.
Sumiko squinted at Kagome's stomach then nodded. "Yeah, I see it's light!" She went closer to Kagome, hugged her around the waist and put her ear against her stomach. "Hello! My name is Aka Sumiko! What is yours?"
Kagome grinned and laughed a little. The fox puppy girl was so adorable. ^____^
Sumiko nodded again then after a few seconds said, "That's a nice name! Reminds me of someone Sumiko knows!" ^_^
"Huh?" Shippou and Kagome blinked at her.
Suddenly Sumiko laughed and said, "Your funny! ^__^ Yeah, Sumiko likes cookies too!"
"Sumiko?" Kagome asked more then a little confused. "What are you doing?"
Sumiko smiled up at her and replied casually. "I'm talkn' with the baby, it's fun!" ^_^
Kagome looked at her shocked her grin faded. "You're kidding right?"
Sumiko shook her head then made a sound of awe, "Really? Do tell!"
"That's amazing!" Shippou said.
"What's the baby saying now??" Kagome asked.
Sumiko listened for a few moments before saying, "The baby wants to know why it's taking so long to get to the battlefield? The baby says 'how does she expect to keep up with everyone when she can't even get to the battle scene before it ends?'"
"Well I'm trying!" Kagome said.
Sango came over looking mighty disturbed. "Trust me, you're so lucky you weren't there." ;;;
Kagome didn't even have to ask her why. The reason came walking right toward them. Miroku, Shio, and Inu Yasha; all laughing and singing, "Ohhh, You gonna to take me home tonight! Ohhh, right beside that red firelight! Ohhh, you gonna to let it all hang out! Fat bottomed girls you make the rockn' world go round!"
Sango sighed loudly behind Kagome. "We should start running – now." She grumbled.
Then from amongst their fun and laughter, Shio noticed a slight difference in Kagome's appearance. "Well he-hellooo!" he pulled his head back a bit and looked at her excitedly. He moved away from Inu and Miroku to go circle and look her up and down a couple times. He bent down to get a closer view of her stomach. Kagome sweatdropped.
Shio stood up again with his hands on his hips. "My god!" he said. He looked at Inu Yasha in near hysteric incredulity. He pointed at her stomach. "Is that thing real??"
Inu Yasha sweatdropped then looked off to the side clearing his throat. "It's not mine."
Shio's jaw dropped. "No way! Kagome's not like that!"
"You're right, I'm not like that." Kagome said. She looked off to the side also looking upset. Shio looked back and forth from Inu to Kagome. "Uhhh…" ;;;;
Sumiko came over holding Naraku and looked up at him. Shio put a hand on her shoulder, bent down and whispered to her. "Sumiko, I think we missed something while we were away."
Sumiko shrugged. She lifted Naraku up by his underarms and played helicopter with him. Naraku blushed and growled.
"By the way, Shio," Kagome went up to him with her hands together.
He smiled brightly down at her. "Yes, Precious?"
She sweatdropped, "Well, I really need your help with something."
"Wait!" Sango came over and stood next to Kagome. "Though I hate to admit it, I need your help too."
"Likewise!" Miroku stood behind them and rubbed both of their bottoms at the same time.
WHACK!!!
Shippou jumped onto Shio's shoulder. "Are we going to train some more?"
Inu Yasha folded his arms and 'feh'ed. Which meant that he also needed help.
Shio sweatdropped and looked at everybody freaked out. "What am I?! The frickn' Wizard of Oz?!"
-
Inu Yasha, Shippou, Kagome, Sango, Miroku. In that order, each person sat on a log rotting log in front of a small hut in the forest.
Miroku looked down the line and asked. "What's going on?"
No one answered him of course. Like they had been told at all what those two kitsune were scheming inside the hut. Kagome pulled a digital clock out of her pocket and looked at it.
"Tss," Inu Yasha sat with his arms folded. "This is lame ass."
All of a sudden, the mat that hung in front of the door to the shed stirred and Sumiko stepped out. Everyone sweatdropped.
Sumiko was wearing an Italian Armani Suit and tie. She kept her eyes closed with a serious expression across her face. She kept her hands in her pocket. She stood there for a long time not moving, not speaking, Kagome wasn't even sure if she was breathing.
Everyone: ……………..
Then finally, Naraku came out of the shed, grunting and groaning as he pushed a sterio that was twice his size.
"Hey! That's mine!" Kagome said.
It took him several minutes to get the sterio five feet from the shed. He fell against it panting then reached up and pushed the play button. The backround music from the movie the godfather began to drift through the air. Sumiko opened her eyes and said, "Thank you for coming, shikon group, the foxfather has agreed to see you, but not all at once. I will come get you one at a time. And since Shippou here is the youngest as well as a kitsune himself, the foxfather has omitted him to be the first to see him.
"What!?" Inu Yasha said.
"Just because he's a fox??" Sango said.
"Tut tut, I did not ask for your comments. Now if you would be so kind as to wait patiently, you will all have your turn." Sumiko said. She waved her fingers toward her as a signal for Shippou to come over.
"Yes!" Shippou hopped off the log and went inside with Sumiko.
Everyone sat staring at the hut while Naraku was still trying to catch his breath and the music rolled on continuously.
"How long do we have to listen to this music?" Miroku asked.
The inside of the hut was dimly lit with a few fox fire candles. Shio sat in front of a floor table. He was also wearing an Armani suit. Kirara sat in his lap purring as he stroked her fur. Sumiko led Shippou to a pillow that was in front of the table.
"Please sit, young Meat." Shio said, Mimicking the godfather's voice.
Shippou sat down and looked up at Shio in awe.
"Tell me now," Shio said. "What is it, that you need from the FoxFather?"
Shippou swallowed and said, "Well Foxfather, I was wondering if you were going to give me any lessons on fighting while you were here. Also, I'd really really like for you to make Inu Yasha be the father of Kagome's baby. He's being such a stubborn mule! – Mr. FoxFather."
Shio smiled briefly then coughed and said, "Well, Meat. As for the lessons that you so humbly request from me, there is a lot of reorganizing involved. You see the FoxFather has quite a busy schedule….not to mention the time he must give to his next few patients. But I will promise you this." He gave a wave of his hand. "Whether it's six hours to six minutes, the FoxFather will give you at least one lesson while he is here visiting his friends."
Shippou smiled brightly. "Wow! Thanks Shi-I mean FoxFather!"
"You're welcome." Shio said. "You may go now."
Shippou went outside and threw his fists into the air. "YES!"
"What happened??" Sango asked.
"I'm gonna get lessons!" Shippou said. He did a backflip and hopped over to his seat on the log.
Sumiko came out of the hut. "Inu Yasha, Shio would see you next, if he weren't such a gentlemen. He says ladies first, and the first of the ladies will be Kagome – because she asked first.
Kagome stood up and followed Sumiko inside. Shio gave her an evil smile as soon as she walked in. Kagome rolled her eyes and sat on the pillow Sumiko offered her.
"Well Kagome, my child, what is it that you need from the FoxFather?" he winked at her.
She gave him a harassed look before saying, "Please Shio, I can't tell you what I need unless you act serious."
"Okay," he said. Kirara jumped out of his lap. He shooed Sumiko and the demon kitty out of the hut. He took a deep breath, leaned over the table toward her, resting his chin on his hands, looked at her cutely and asked in a soothing voice. "What's bothering you?"
Kagome blushed a bit. "Well, remember when Inu Yasha and I….when we-um…."
"Made love like sea otters?" Shio suggested.
Kagome's whole face turned red and she looked horrified.
"Yes, I remember," Shio said. "Continue please."
She looked to the side, and appeared so uncomfortable that she couldn't even handle speaking.
Shio sighed. "Okay, hold on," he got up on the table causing her to look ever more frightened. He turned her around and pressed a spot on her back. All of a sudden, her fear and embarrassment began to disappear. Her mind cleared, she felt like she had just been hit with three CC's of morphine. She slouched a little bit as Shio began to massage her back and turn her suffering into relaxation. "Theeere we goooo…" He said is a slow soothing voice. He put his head beside hers and asked, "Better now?"
She nodded drowsily. If he kept it up, she might've fallen asleep.
"You can trust Shio, he won't laugh, he won't tell on you, he's only here to help. He will help you with whatever you need." He said.
She nodded, starring out into space.
"Please continue." He said again.
"Well, after that night," she said. "I didn't get my period for a while." She felt so comfortable, she felt like she could tell him anything. "I felt sick most of the time, mostly cramps and seasickness on land. There were the certain signs that told me to take a pregnancy test."
"Mmmmhmmm," Shio nodded.
"So I took it, and it said I was pregnant. And it was right, because now it's growing bigger….so I'm growing bigger. But before that, I was afraid to tell Inu Yasha, I didn't know what he would have said."
"He was your first was he?" Shio asked.
"That was my first, last, and only time ever." She said. "And my mom thought he would be a good dad. She said she trusted him, I trusted him, but I also knew he was stubborn. And in the past, he's never let me down, but not now…" A tear slid off of her cheek. She wasn't choked up, because of the massage, but having to retell the story was hard enough for her to become miserable inside. "He won't be the father. He says it isn't his. Then he starts getting mad at me, because he thinks I cheated on him! After all of those times when I caught him with Kikyo, and I've never ever gone off behind his back to go kiss some other guy." Two more tears fell.
Shio looked at her sympathetically and moved up to her shoulders. "I feel your pain."
"Which leads to my question," she reached up and grabbed his hands on her shoulders. He looked shocked that she could still move during one of his massages, but was even more shocked at what she did next.
Kagome turned around and looked up at him with large watery eyes filled with emotion. "I want you to be the father!"
Wow. Shio looked just like one of the girls whom Miroku asked to bear his child. "Humma?" he asked in a funny voice.
"If you can just make Inu Yasha jealous or help me through what I'm doing! I can't do this by myself! I'm too young! I don't know what I'm doing!! " tears started to go down her cheeks in small streams. He looked at her sadly then opened his arms a little to let her hug him. She threw her arms around him and buried her tears in his chest.
"I'm really sorry." He said. He hugged her back, but it wasn't perverted or anything. It was a "friends" hug. Then after a few moments he said something that made her heart freeze up, "But I can't."
She was so shocked, she stopped crying, but she hiccupped loudly. "What?" she gasped. He pulled her away. "I know very little about raising a child, but I can take care of a woman in labor." He squeezed her arms a little in display or affection. Shio looked over her shocked expression before adding, "Besides that, I'm bound by the best friends code."
"What?" Kagome looked like she was welling with several different emotions at once and couldn't decide which one to pick.
"If you had picked any other guy to do this for you, Inu Yasha would be heartbroken. But if I, Inu Yasha's best friend in the whole wide world, the guy he's known since before he could have a boner, were to start pretending he was the father of his girlfriends baby….damn…" Shio said looking at the wall, as if he could see through it. "That would crush his spirit altogether."
Kagome let go of Shio and looked at the ground. "He doesn't care." She hissed.
"I bet my brusquest he does!" Shio said. That sentence might have sounded weird and/or suggestive to Kagome, if her mind was calm enough to fall into the gutter.
"He freaked out at the thought of you being with another guy, didn't he?" Shio asked. "He cares, he's just a melon head, which I'm sure you already know."
Kagome nodded.
"I'll try to convince him, in the meantime, I suggest you get ready for that baby." Shio said, going back to sit in his chair. "Whether I can convince him or not, he'll believe when a dogearred baby pops out!"
Kagome couldn't help but laugh at that comment.
Shio gave her a final smile before giving her a tissue and shooing her out of the shed. Shio dawned the Italian look once more and sent Sumiko to get the next one.
Sango came into the hut looking suspicious. "Why was Kagome crying?"
"Personal problems." Shio said in the old guy, Italian accent. "Please sit down, Miss Babe."
Sango sat down on the pillow, then her eyes fell upon Kirara, who was in Shio's lap. "Hey! Kirara!"
The kitten looked from Sango, her master, to the expert in cat back massages Shio and sweatdropped. She gave Sango a torn mew.
"Fine…sit in his lap." ;;;; she said.
Kirara mewed happily and Shio continued to stroke her back.
"Miss Sango," he started. "You rarely come within seventeen feet of me, let alone ask me for advice. Hopes for me are high that this time I will have the chance to prove my innocence to you-"
"No! I will not have sex with you!" she shouted.
"I did not ask that, but I was probably going to!" he pointed at her and winked.
Ten minutes later….
"Oh my god…" Sango moaned.
Readers get your mind out of the gutter. What was happening was Shio was again sitting on his desk, giving Sango a back massage. "So Sango, what is it that you need?"
"Lessons."
"Lessons?" he asked. "Fighting lessons?"
"No." she said. "Love Lessons. I heard that you give lessons to people that are shy, alone, and uneducated in the art of seduction and beauty."
"True." Shio said. "Alright then, I will get you a schedule as soon as possible. Would you like private or group lessons?"
"Private."
"Okay."
"And don't tell Miroku."
"No problem." He patted her on the back and she left the shed.
Miroku and Inu Yasha sweatdropped. Shippou looked like he was going to wet his pants with happiness, Kagome looked depressed and glorified at the same time, and Sango looked like she was on tranquilizers.
"Maybe he's a drug dealer now?" Miroku suggested.
Inu Yasha nodded.
Sumiko came out of the hut. "Inu Yasha, if the FoxFather wanted too, he would have seen you first and only, but now as it comes to his best bud and a member of the holy church, he is obligated to let the buddist go first."
"Oh come on!" Inu Yasha said as Miroku got up and went in. He went straight up to Shio. "Whatever Shippou's taking I'll take two of em', and whatever Sango's taking-"
"Calm down, Preistman, I'm not a coke pusher."
Miroku sat down disappointedly. "Right, I knew that."
"How can I help you, my oxymoronic friend?" Shio asked.
"I need lessons!" Miroku said.
"Lessons?"
"Love lessons."
Shio paused in a minor attack of déjà vu. "Would you like privet or group lessons?"
"Private if you will."
"Fine."
"Also, don't tell Sango."
"Yeeeeahh." he said. "The Foxfather will bring you a schedule soon."
"Thanks Shio!" and with that Miroku left.
Inu Yasha came in grumbling about being last. He went up to Shio who leaned back a little bit. "Alright Shio, we need to talk-"
"Hold on, let me ask something first – are you still with Kikyo?"
"What? I don't-"
"Dude! She isn't even alive! I can describe her in three words: Zombie, Hater, and Bad in bed!"
"Shut it for a second Shio, this is important!"
"Yes?"
"Okay." Inu Yasha said. He looked very upset at something. He hung his head and said, "I need you to convince Kagome that she's not carrying my pup."
Shio raised an eyebrow at him. "Why?"
"Because it's not mine!"
"How do you know?" Shio asked.
"Because I know it isn't!" Inu Yasha shouted.
Shio looked at him calmly. Then stood up and went around his desk. "As my sister once said to me when I laughed during meditation."
WHOMP!
Shio hit Inu Yasha right on top of the head and mimicked his sister Sashimi's voice, "Grow up, you puppy!"
Inu Yasha clutched the lump on his head. Shio could also mimick his sister's punches. "You hit like a girl."
"So do you. She was your fighting teacher." Shio replied.
"Are you going to help me or not?" Inu Yasha asked.
"Fraid I can't, man." Shio said scooting Kirara out of his lap.
"Why?"
"Because it's not the truth." Shio said.
"What's not the truth?"
"That the baby isn't yours." Shio said.
"Let me guess, Kagome told you that right?" Inu Yasha asked.
"Yes."
"And you believe her word over mine?"
"Yes."
"You trust her lies over my truth."
"Yes….no wait!.....Yeah. I do."
Inu Yasha tossed his hand in frustration. "I don't believe this shit!"
"Exactly what I was thinking." Shio said looking right at him.
"There is no way in hell that that kid is mine!" Inu Yasha stood up and pointed at the door as if he were pointing right at Kagome.
"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" Shio asked him calmly also standing up.
Inu Yasha looked at him, growled then went stomping out of the shed. "Fine! I understand! You always were catwhipped!"
Shio's eyes widened. A green flash zoomed past Inu Yasha and infront of him. Shio stood there with his eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me! When you aren't seducing them, you let women push you around! That's why you're not in any real relationship because you'll end up being the bitch!!"
Shio's eye twitched. "I think if I had anything to fear about a relationship, it would be to end up with one like yours! Twisting my mind out of proportion just because I can't decide between a sour memory and a hot chick in a short skirt! Talk about sad!"
"You can offer love advice to others, why don't you give advice to a mirror!!"
"At least I can differentiate between positive and negative relationships!"
They growled at each other just like canines.
Everyone sitting on the log stared. Shippou pulled a bag of popcorn from behind his back and stuffed a handful into his mouth.
"You're such a freaking liar!" Inu Yasha shouted.
"You're a liar to yourself!" Shio shouted.
I: "Jerk!"
S: "Fool!"
I: "Ham!"
S: "Claude!"
I: "Freak!"
S: "Bastard!"
I: "Bitch!"
S: "Albino!"
I: "Sucker!"
S: "Swallower!"
I: "Prostitute!"
S: "Necromaniac!"
I: "Incest Sicko!"
S: "Expiramentor!"
I: "Brownie Lover!"
S: "Illegitimate Father!"
I: "Female!"
Shio looked taken aback. "Female?!"
Inu Yasha, "You're feminine looking, I'll bet you have a vagina!"
Shio: *hesitates on a word under his breath - the worst thing he could say* "..h-ha-ha-HALF DEMON SCUM!!"
WHACK!!
Shio was knocked off of his feet, flew a short distance, and fell onto a patch of flowers.
"Shio!" Kagome shouted.
"Is he alright?!" Shippou asked.
Inu Yasha looked at his knuckles. There was a thin, bloody cut across the middle and index knuckle. He looked over at Shio who after a moment strained to get up. Any normal person would probably have their head do a 360 with a punch like that. Shio groaned and sat up. He pushed aside his hair and rubbed his hand over his face. When he pulled his hand back to look at it, there was blood smeared all over his palm, and with his palm, he had smeared the blood all over his face. A bloody nose…
Inu Yasha came running over to him. Everyone else started to run over too. Right within thirteen feet of him though, Miroku stopped them. "No! Stay back!"
"Miroku!! Shio's hurt!" Kagome said.
"His demon energy is building up rapidly!" Miroku said. "It's dangerous to get close!"
Inu Yasha's shadow fell over Shio. "Man, I'm sorry," the hanyo
said. "Seriously, I didn't mean too-"
"You hit me!" Shio said all of a sudden. "-in the
face!"
"I'm so sorry." Inu Yasha said again. He offered his hand to help him up. "It's my fault, Shio. Don't get mad, really,"
Shio looked up at him, his eyes narrowed and blood smeared across his cheek,chin, and forehead from his nose. "You're sorry?"
"I'm seriously, seriously sorry. What I did was stupid." He held out his hand. "No hard feelings?"
Shio looked at the hand like he was going to bite it, but instead he took in and stood up. "No hard feelings, man."
Then he clocked Inu Yasha across the face.
That sent him flying across the grass like a skipping stone. He landed in front of the others who were huddled together.
"Inu Yasha!" Miroku appeared upside down from Inu's view. "You must run away now!"
"Why?"
"Shio's demon energy is doing some freaky shit!" Miroku said. (An: out of character dialogue..;;;)
Shio growled deep in his throat as his hair and clothes blew around with an unseen wind. Quick as Sesshomaru almost, he was over by Inu Yasha, and grabbed him by the collar of his kimonos. "RRRRR, YOU JERK!!" Shio glared at Inu Yasha threw bright blood red eyes. "I'm trying to find a mate!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT IF I LOOK LIKE FREAKING YOU!!!"
Inu Yasha stared back surprised that Shio would get so upset over something so small. Shio was supposed to be the sophisticated, little or no anger, lover not a fighter, wouldn't resort to violence unless it's a dire emergency kind of guy.
Suddenly Shio tilted his head back then threw it back toward Inu Yasha. There was a loud BONK from an attack so painful, everyone who saw and heard it winced. Shio hitting his head against Inu Yasha's was also something that he didn't do. But both of them had large red marks on their foreheads. Inu Yasha squinted through the pain at Shio, then charged him in retaliation.
"Oh this is bad." Miroku said shaking his head.
Shippou closed his eyes. "They fight dirtier then girls!"
Kagome felt guilty for some reason.
Sango was trying to figure out whether Shio would win, Inu Yasha would win, or they would knock each other out.
"What are we going to do?" Kagome asked. "We can't just sit here and watch them kill each other!!"
Sumiko went up to Kagome and held out Naraku. "Miss Lady, can you hold Chocolate Monkey Man?"
"Huh?" Kagome took Naraku as Sumiko went searching through her kimono for something.
There was a scream from the battlefield as someone got bitten.
"Hey, HEY, HEY!!!" Sumiko shouted suddenly coming toward them.
"Sumiko come back!" Sango shouted.
"OFFSIDE! FOUL! PENALTY!!" The little girl suddenly pulled a thin whistle out of her kimono. Her ears tucked inside themselves and she blew hard into the whistle.
Everyone on the sideline didn't hear anything. But Inu Yasha and Shio instantly separated, covered their ears threw their heads back and screamed at the top of their lungs.
"WHAT THE F*CK!?!" Inu Yasha shouted.
"Draw!" Sumiko shouted and pointed. "Go to opposite sides of the ring and stay!"
They ignored her and went back to fighting.
Sumiko blew into the whistle harder.
Once again they clutched their ears and screamed. But this time they also fell over, writhing in pain. She opened her ears out and the others finally came running over.
"Sumiko, what did you do?" Shippou jumped onto her shoulder.
She held up her small tin dog whistle and smiled. "I try not to abuse it!" ^_^ Then she looked at Kagome, "Why didn't you just say Sit?"
Kagome looked surprised then embarrassed as she fell to her knees. "That's right! Why didn't I?"
Sumiko patted her on the head. "Okay, I luv ya, buh bye!" ^_^