Chapter 7.
After a few day's rest, and visits from Dumbledore and McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey finally let Hermione out, much to the glee of Fred, George, Harry and Ron. She sat up in bed and got to her feet a little unsteadily.
"Now, remember, rest, Hermione! Nothing too exhausting. You've made a wonderfully quick recovery, but you still need to take things easy. You're just lucky this is the last week of term and you can go home soon. Dumbledore has told your parents...just that you had an accident, but he didn't tell them...any more...they're very worried, young lady. But I've told them I won't have you travelling on a train just yet. I'm sure these four will take good care of you." Madam Pomfrey added, smiling at the boys.
"Thank you." Hermione added, to all of them. The boys all took her arms and lead her slowly to the common room. They helped her through the portrait hole and sat her in a seat by the fire.
"How are you feeling? Do you want me to get you anything?" Ron fussed over her.
"No, I'm ok." She replied, quietly. The memories had begun flooding back to her. Memories of why she was in the hospital wing...although she couldn't remember much after...was it the bathroom? The question was answered for her as she saw her eyes, staring at herself in that mirror, laughing with...with his laugh...she remembered the first attack...the second...and it all overwhelmed her. She put her head in her hands and sobbed uncontrollably.
"Hey hey!" Harry said, and rushed over beside her, putting his arm around her. "It's ok...shh...shh."
"That's it Harry, It's not...it's not...I'm sorry...I'm sorry I did this to you all...I never...I never meant to upset you all...I just..."
"Shhh." they all hugged her. "It's ok...it'll all be ok...we're here for you...and we're never leaving you. We're always here Hermione, remember that." Harry said, hugging her tightly.
Hermione hated this...she hated that everyone was being so nice to her...when she couldn't tell them...she couldn't tell them why she was upset...and she had been so selfish...she had to go and do that and make them waste a few days worrying about her....his just made her cry even more, which tightened the many arms that were around her, but all the crying was giving her another headache, and she was still tired.
"I'm...I'm going to go to bed guys. My head hurts." She sniffed, wiping at her eyes.
"Well...alright." Ron said. "But, you need anything, let us know, we'll be right there."
"Thanks, Ron." She said, and hugged him. "Thanks to all of you." She smiled a watery smile, and turned for the girls' dorms.
The boys hadn't slept much recently either. "I'm tired too." Fred yawned. They all nodded in agreement, and soon set off for the boys dorms too.
----
Three days later, and they were all setting off on the train home for the summer. Harry was lucky this year, Vernon had got some sort of big a bonus at work, and was taking Petunia and Dudley on a package holiday to Spain for three weeks, so Harry got to spend the summer at Ron's. They waited for Hermione in the common room, and when she appeared, Fred and George immediately took her bags.
"Thanks, guys." She smiled. She really was thankful to have such great friends...but she didn't feel like a very good friend herself. Friendship was based on trust, and truth...but how could that be true, if she couldn't bear to tell any of them what had troubled her so. Did it void their friendship? They had tried to speak to her, tried to get her to open up, but she just couldn't. She didn't know why. Partly, perhaps, because she was ashamed, but...there was something else that held her back, she didn't know what.
On the train, they looked for an empty compartment. Fred stopped outside one, with only two people in it. "How about in here, everywhere else looks full." He said. Hermione looked into that compartment, inside were two boys laughing, she saw who they were...one of them was...him...he looked round and met her eyes, and for the first time, he didn't smirk. The redness in his cheeks from laughing dropped and he turned white, and spun his head to look out of the window, much to the confusion of his friend.
"Umm…I think there might be some empty compartments up ahead, can we check first?" Hermione asked. She couldn't share the long train ride with him near her. Even though she'd be spared his piercing stare and that smirk...she just couldn't bear to look at him.
"Ok." Fred said simply and moved on, not noticing anything. They found an empty compartment a few doors down.
"Aaah, perfect." He smiled. "Hermione...right once again!" He said as he pushed through the door and settled the cases. Hermione sat by the window and watched the other students getting on the train, as the crowd outside thinned, and the train began to move. Ron sat beside her, and asked if she was alright every five minutes, to which the reply was always "Yeah, I'm fine," with a smile.
Quite a few hours later, they were approaching the station. Hermione was shifting awkwardly in her seat.
"What's up?" Ron asked.
"Mum and dad." was all Hermione replied. Ron put his arm around her, he knew what she meant...she had to face her parents and tell them she had...she had attempted suicide. He cringed at the word in his head, and looked at Hermione, who was staring out of the window blankly.
When the train finally stopped, they got their things and left the train, to be met on the platform by Mr and Mrs Weasley, who were standing talking to Mr and Mrs Granger...Mrs Weasley was hugging Mrs Granger, who was clearly upset. When she saw Hermione approaching her, she turned to stare at her, confused. From what she had been told, her daughter had had an accident, but that was all she knew...but she had a feeling it was pretty serious and they just weren't telling her. She stared at her daughter, who looked perfectly normal, except a bit tired, there were no bandages, no casts...
"Hermione!" She cried and ran to her, hugging her tightly, quickly joined by Mr Granger. "What's...what happened? You look ok...What were you in the hospital for?" She asked her, concerned.
Hermione looked to Harry and Ron. "I'll explain later, mum." She said in a small voice. Ron came over and hugged her.
"Aaah, Ron!" Mr Granger smiled. "Still Hogwarts' perfect little couple?"
"Um, dad...we broke up." Hermione said.
"Oh...right..." Mr Granger said, clearly embarrassed. "Well...lovely to see you again." He said, and outstretched his hand to Ron.
"Yeah." Ron said, shaking his hand, but his mind was on Hermione.
"Come on, we'd better get going." Mrs Weasley announced to the group.
They started to head outside to the car park, when Fred, George, Harry and Ron took Hermione aside.
"We're sorry we can't be there for you this time...you need to do this alone." Harry said, of Hermione telling her parents. "But keep in touch. Come and see us sometime before term starts!"
"Yeah...I will...and, guys...thanks, for everything."
"Not a problem." Ron said, and they group-hugged her again.
"I love you all." Hermione said, and she meant it.
"We love you too!" They all said at once, making Hermione beam.
"See you soon." She said, and trotted off to her parents, and the Weasleys and Harry caught up with Mr and Mrs Weasley. Mr Weasley had borrowed a car from the ministry, again.
They reached the burrow and sighed at the normality they were returning to...and their thoughts went to Hermione, and how she would feel back at her own 'normality', and having to face her parents. They all wished they could be there when she did, but she had to do this one alone. Ron was happy, that things were finally settling down, and that she had him, Harry and the twins to help her along the way. Sure, she had recovered quickly, physically, but mentally....that would take much longer.
After a few day's rest, and visits from Dumbledore and McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey finally let Hermione out, much to the glee of Fred, George, Harry and Ron. She sat up in bed and got to her feet a little unsteadily.
"Now, remember, rest, Hermione! Nothing too exhausting. You've made a wonderfully quick recovery, but you still need to take things easy. You're just lucky this is the last week of term and you can go home soon. Dumbledore has told your parents...just that you had an accident, but he didn't tell them...any more...they're very worried, young lady. But I've told them I won't have you travelling on a train just yet. I'm sure these four will take good care of you." Madam Pomfrey added, smiling at the boys.
"Thank you." Hermione added, to all of them. The boys all took her arms and lead her slowly to the common room. They helped her through the portrait hole and sat her in a seat by the fire.
"How are you feeling? Do you want me to get you anything?" Ron fussed over her.
"No, I'm ok." She replied, quietly. The memories had begun flooding back to her. Memories of why she was in the hospital wing...although she couldn't remember much after...was it the bathroom? The question was answered for her as she saw her eyes, staring at herself in that mirror, laughing with...with his laugh...she remembered the first attack...the second...and it all overwhelmed her. She put her head in her hands and sobbed uncontrollably.
"Hey hey!" Harry said, and rushed over beside her, putting his arm around her. "It's ok...shh...shh."
"That's it Harry, It's not...it's not...I'm sorry...I'm sorry I did this to you all...I never...I never meant to upset you all...I just..."
"Shhh." they all hugged her. "It's ok...it'll all be ok...we're here for you...and we're never leaving you. We're always here Hermione, remember that." Harry said, hugging her tightly.
Hermione hated this...she hated that everyone was being so nice to her...when she couldn't tell them...she couldn't tell them why she was upset...and she had been so selfish...she had to go and do that and make them waste a few days worrying about her....his just made her cry even more, which tightened the many arms that were around her, but all the crying was giving her another headache, and she was still tired.
"I'm...I'm going to go to bed guys. My head hurts." She sniffed, wiping at her eyes.
"Well...alright." Ron said. "But, you need anything, let us know, we'll be right there."
"Thanks, Ron." She said, and hugged him. "Thanks to all of you." She smiled a watery smile, and turned for the girls' dorms.
The boys hadn't slept much recently either. "I'm tired too." Fred yawned. They all nodded in agreement, and soon set off for the boys dorms too.
----
Three days later, and they were all setting off on the train home for the summer. Harry was lucky this year, Vernon had got some sort of big a bonus at work, and was taking Petunia and Dudley on a package holiday to Spain for three weeks, so Harry got to spend the summer at Ron's. They waited for Hermione in the common room, and when she appeared, Fred and George immediately took her bags.
"Thanks, guys." She smiled. She really was thankful to have such great friends...but she didn't feel like a very good friend herself. Friendship was based on trust, and truth...but how could that be true, if she couldn't bear to tell any of them what had troubled her so. Did it void their friendship? They had tried to speak to her, tried to get her to open up, but she just couldn't. She didn't know why. Partly, perhaps, because she was ashamed, but...there was something else that held her back, she didn't know what.
On the train, they looked for an empty compartment. Fred stopped outside one, with only two people in it. "How about in here, everywhere else looks full." He said. Hermione looked into that compartment, inside were two boys laughing, she saw who they were...one of them was...him...he looked round and met her eyes, and for the first time, he didn't smirk. The redness in his cheeks from laughing dropped and he turned white, and spun his head to look out of the window, much to the confusion of his friend.
"Umm…I think there might be some empty compartments up ahead, can we check first?" Hermione asked. She couldn't share the long train ride with him near her. Even though she'd be spared his piercing stare and that smirk...she just couldn't bear to look at him.
"Ok." Fred said simply and moved on, not noticing anything. They found an empty compartment a few doors down.
"Aaah, perfect." He smiled. "Hermione...right once again!" He said as he pushed through the door and settled the cases. Hermione sat by the window and watched the other students getting on the train, as the crowd outside thinned, and the train began to move. Ron sat beside her, and asked if she was alright every five minutes, to which the reply was always "Yeah, I'm fine," with a smile.
Quite a few hours later, they were approaching the station. Hermione was shifting awkwardly in her seat.
"What's up?" Ron asked.
"Mum and dad." was all Hermione replied. Ron put his arm around her, he knew what she meant...she had to face her parents and tell them she had...she had attempted suicide. He cringed at the word in his head, and looked at Hermione, who was staring out of the window blankly.
When the train finally stopped, they got their things and left the train, to be met on the platform by Mr and Mrs Weasley, who were standing talking to Mr and Mrs Granger...Mrs Weasley was hugging Mrs Granger, who was clearly upset. When she saw Hermione approaching her, she turned to stare at her, confused. From what she had been told, her daughter had had an accident, but that was all she knew...but she had a feeling it was pretty serious and they just weren't telling her. She stared at her daughter, who looked perfectly normal, except a bit tired, there were no bandages, no casts...
"Hermione!" She cried and ran to her, hugging her tightly, quickly joined by Mr Granger. "What's...what happened? You look ok...What were you in the hospital for?" She asked her, concerned.
Hermione looked to Harry and Ron. "I'll explain later, mum." She said in a small voice. Ron came over and hugged her.
"Aaah, Ron!" Mr Granger smiled. "Still Hogwarts' perfect little couple?"
"Um, dad...we broke up." Hermione said.
"Oh...right..." Mr Granger said, clearly embarrassed. "Well...lovely to see you again." He said, and outstretched his hand to Ron.
"Yeah." Ron said, shaking his hand, but his mind was on Hermione.
"Come on, we'd better get going." Mrs Weasley announced to the group.
They started to head outside to the car park, when Fred, George, Harry and Ron took Hermione aside.
"We're sorry we can't be there for you this time...you need to do this alone." Harry said, of Hermione telling her parents. "But keep in touch. Come and see us sometime before term starts!"
"Yeah...I will...and, guys...thanks, for everything."
"Not a problem." Ron said, and they group-hugged her again.
"I love you all." Hermione said, and she meant it.
"We love you too!" They all said at once, making Hermione beam.
"See you soon." She said, and trotted off to her parents, and the Weasleys and Harry caught up with Mr and Mrs Weasley. Mr Weasley had borrowed a car from the ministry, again.
They reached the burrow and sighed at the normality they were returning to...and their thoughts went to Hermione, and how she would feel back at her own 'normality', and having to face her parents. They all wished they could be there when she did, but she had to do this one alone. Ron was happy, that things were finally settling down, and that she had him, Harry and the twins to help her along the way. Sure, she had recovered quickly, physically, but mentally....that would take much longer.