^_______^ YEP!! Now wasn't that exciting?!? I am up in the happiness bling bling!! ^___^
Chapter 12. Muwahahahahaha
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Suddenly, the baby, which was no more then a few hours old, sat up and looked around at everyone.
"OH MY GOD! Look at that!" Kagome shrieked and pointed at the baby. "She's sitting up all by herself! Babies aren't supposed to do that till they're at least six months old!!"
"And she's supporting her own neck too!" Miroku said looking surprised and intrigued.
The baby gave Kagome a raised eyebrow.
"That expression!" Kagome shouted. The baby looked at her like she was nuts. "Babies don't make expressions like that till WAY later on!!"
"Well that's dog demon puppies for you," Sango smiled. ^_^ "Always surprising you with their amazing strength and abilities!"
Shio and Sumiko smirked in Inu Yasha's direction. "Right, Inu Yasha?" Sumiko asked.
Inu Yasha was still in shock. All of a sudden he crawled over and put his face inches away from the baby's. Her golden eyes got wider at his closeness and she blinked.
"DAH!!" Inu Yasha threw himself against the wall on the opposite side of the room looking at the baby as if she were rabid.
The baby laughed and waved her chibbi arms a bit.
"Holy hell!!" he shouted looking terrified. "There's just no way!"
Shio sighed and went over to his best friend smiling ear to ear. "Inu Yasha, Inu Yasha, Inu Yasha." He placed a hand on his hyperventilating friend's shoulder. "Come on man, I thought you were smarter then that!" ^_^ grinned in a cruel irony then extended a hand in the baby's direction. "I mean really, doesn't that baby look almost exactly like you?" ^________^
"Yeah! Look at her little ears!" Sango said grinning.
"And her silver hair!" Shippou pointed at her.
The baby scowled at them.
Inu Yasha couldn't believe it, he stared at the baby as if she was the scariest entity in the universe…(.to some people, she would be…)
The baby scowled at Shippou and Kirara who danced happily and her nostrils flared slightly.
"Well what name are we gonna give her?" Kagome asked.
Sango grabbed a reddish pink flower out of one of the many gift baskets given to Kagome and set it behind the baby's puppy ear. "How about Blossom?"
The baby grabbed the flower off of her head and bit the flowering bud off the top violently. She chewed it up with her gums.
Sango sweatdropped slightly. "Nevermind." ;;;
"How about Angel?" Miroku suggested. He reached out to pat the baby's head. "RAWR!" the baby snapped at his hand, and even though it sounded like a baby growling and she had no teeth anyway, it was kinda intimidating. Miroku backed off too.
Shippou hid behind Kagome and gulped. "How about Scary?"
Kagome sweatdropped. ^^ ;;;
"Ahh….hah – TIEU!!"
BLING!
"What about Kago-Yasha?? The child of Kagome and Inu Yasha!" Eleven year old Sumiko exclaimed. ^_^
Inu Yasha facefaulted forward.
"Or maybe Inu-Ome." Shio winked at her. ^_~
"Inu Onna."
Everyone looked at Inu Yasha who sat crosslegged with his back to them.
Kagome was surprised. Inu Yasha suggested a name for the baby. After a few seconds, she looked down at the baby. "Well what do you think, baby? Do you want to be called Inu Onna?"
The baby looked up at her, then at everyone else….then she fell backwards hitting her head on the floor. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
"Oh my god!!" Kagome freaked out. Everyone lunged forward to see if she was okay.
Whether that was a no or a yes, it became her new name.
Inu Onna sat on her forelegs and forearms like a puppy resting. Her little dog ears twitched as she looked around. Then she looked up at Kagome with puppy dog eyes and smacked her lips together.
Kagome didn't see her, she was a few feet away reading about how to use cloth diapers since they were the only one's she had on such short notice.
The baby's lips thinned then she yipped.
Kagome looked down at her and Inu Onna smacked her lips together again. She didn't like to repeat herself.
"Oh my, are you hungry, Inu Onna?" Kagome asked. She set down the book and crawled over to the baby. The baby looked up at her with big watery eyes. "Da ya!" she exclaimed.
"Okay, hold on." Kagome said. She picked up the baby book. "Sango? Do you know anything about breast feeding?" she called to her.
Everyone with a male ear in twenty feet caught the word "breast".
Sango came over, took the book from her and flipped through the pages without even looking at the index or corner numbers. "I'll find the chapter, you open your shirt."
"Kay." Kagome said, she had barely pinched two buttons open when she realized Miroku, Shio, Kirara, Naraku, Sumiko, Shippou, and Inu Yasha were now in front of her watching. She sweatdropped. "What are doing here?" she asked slightly nervous.
"Oh, well I'm here for learning experience." Miroku said. He was good at faking an honest face. "I've never actually seen a woman breast feeding before, if I learn now, I can teach the future mother of my child."
Kagome glared at him. Apparently she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him. She frowned at everyone else. "And what are your excuses?"
"I'm here to make sure you do it right." Shio said with an honest face that was a little bit more believable then Miroku's.
She looked at Inu Yasha who suddenly blushed and said quickly. "I-I'm just here to make sure these two don't do anything perverted. Otherwise I wouldn't be here!" he looked aside blushing madly.
Shio rolled his eyes and shoved him a bit.
"Sumiko's curious." The little girl said.
"I'm curious too." Shippou nodded.
Kirara mewed and shrugged.
Naraku was torn between wanting to glare at Miroku for his "learning curiosity" look, and wanting to glare at Sumiko for being his slave master.
Sango glared at them before looking to Kagome. "Well, what do you want to do?" she asked.
Kagome looked down at Inu Onna who didn't even notice everyone else, but she looked like she was on the verge of tears. Her bottom lip trembled, her little fists where tucked under her chin, and her eyes where large and watery.
Kagome sighed and lifted Inu Onna into her lap. What? If she didn't do it, she would be starving her baby. She didn't want Inu Onna to cry either. She unbuttoned the rest of her shirt. At least she remembered to wear a nice bra.
"Okay, uh…." Sango looked over the page. "Crap! What do these words mean Kagome? There are words in here I've never heard in my life!"
Kagome figured she wouldn't have understood it. But she didn't want to embarrass Sango. "I'll read it." She smiled politely.
Sango handed her the book.
Scanning over the lines a couple times, Kagome figured out what to do. She took a deep breath and looked down at Inu Onna. She thought that if she pretended they weren't there, it would be easier. She sat Inu Onna up closer to her then popped out one of her breasts.
There came a gasp of 'ooh's and 'ah's. Inu Onna readily accepted her meal and instinctively put her mouth over the nipple.
Inu Yasha looked at Miroku and filled with a sudden unexplainable rage. "What the hell are you looking at, Monk?!?"
Miroku looked up at him surprised. "Me? Well I-"
Inu Yasha grabbed Miroku's head and knocked it against Shippou's.
BONK!
Miroku collapsed backwards, Shippou whined, "What did I do?!"
Inu Yasha grabbed Shippou's head and banged it against Shio's.
Shio and Shippou both cussed.
"Shut up!" Kagome suddenly shouted. "I can't do this with you monkey boys arguing in the backround!!"
"Hey!" Sumiko suddenly stood up. "Chocolate Monkey Man is the original monkey boy!" she pointed at the little monkey who took no interest in what was going on.
"Sumiko, shut them up." Kagome said plainly.
"Kay, Nice lady!" ^_^ Sumiko smiled and pulled a big roll of duct tape out of the front of her kimono.
~~~*flashback*~~~
Shinyo walked through the forest. It was such a lovely day, a lovely summer day in fact. The time of the year where light magic was in good supply, it was. She suddenly paused looking straight ahead. She held her wooden staff out in front of her and closed her eyes. The wind blew past her, making the leaves in the high branches of trees russle and make a low hissing sound.
She opened her eyes and went left. She found a dead tree with snow settled on the branches where leaves used to be the day before. Just that tree and nothing else was cold and covered in snow. On one of the branches, the little boy Yukidaruma hugged his knees to his chest in his sleep and nodded his head forward. A very insecure child he was.
Shinyo, twirled her staff once and bluntly struck the neck of the staff against the trunk. All of the snow was shaken off of the tree and so was the boy. He would have fallen out, had he not grabbed onto the branch as soon as the shock woke him up. He hung from the branch with one leg and two arms while the other one dangled and he panted as if he had just run a marathon.
"You're reflexes are good, but with training from your other professor, you could learn how to not be startled at all."
Huffing and puffing, Yukidaruma looked down at her as if she were a Kodiak bear.
Shin'you just smiled up at him and turned to walk away. "Come now. Lessons cannot start without you, and Sashimasu Sensei does not like to be kept waiting."
Yukidaruma nodded and whispered, "Yeah." He slowly climbed down and followed her to a grassy knoll near a babbling brook. It looked like a Zen garden.
"This is my garden." Shin'yo told him. "You will come here every morning before the sun rises unless either of us specifies otherwise. The whole time she explained the rules, she kept a gentle hand on his shoulder and a sweet smile on her face and in her eyes.
The places he was aloud to walk on had clean white tiles. The rest of the ground was raked sand and silt. Shin'yo told him that he could not tread on the sand and silt until she told him that he could.
On the opposite side of the garden, Sashimasu waited for them, dressed in her silver armor. Next to her stood a little girl who looked exactly like a younger version of the dog demon woman. Spikey silver hair, fair skin, large blue eyes, and a red and white fighting uniform and kimono. The little girl's eyes lit up when she saw them coming.
Shin'yo paused a few feet away from her friend and the little girl. Yukidaruma was so nervous he almost tripped himself to stop at the right time.
The little girl giggled making him even more nervous and shy. He tried to hide behind Shin'yo, but she somehow didn't let him. In fact she was almost behind him. She looked down at the little girl. "Sashimi, this is Yukidaruma. He will be learning how to use the light with you."
Sashimi's eyes became larger and brighter as she smiled at him. He blushed deeply. She was smiling at him as if he had rescued her kitten from a high tree branch. He looked away embarrassed. Girls made him nervous.
Sashimasu grinned at Shin'yo who smiled right back. Suddenly Shin'yo pushed him forward. He stopped in front of her, he was about a head or so taller, yet she made him so nervous. His skinny knees trembled and his face felt hot. He looked off to the side through half lidded eyes.
Sashimasu and Shin'yo went to go get the baskets of crystals, candles and coins. Sashimi watched him in an almost fascinated way as he who was much taller and boyish acted as afraid as she was around spiders.
"Hi!" her sudden high pitched voice made him flinch. "My name is Sashimi!" she extended her hand. "What's your name?"
As soon as he turned to look at her the rest of him began to tremble too. "I-I-I'm Yu-yu-yu-"
"Yuyuyu?" Sashimi asked. "That's a funny name!"
"N-no, my name i-is Yu-kidaru-ruma."
"Yukidaruma." She recited, rocking back and forth on her feet.
He looked down at her feet. From the shin down, she had feet like a canine's.
She looked down at where he was looking. "Yeah, those are my feet!" ^_^ she smiled brightly at him.
He looked away blushing again.
Sashimi looked at him confused. "What's wrong, Yuki-san?" she asked.
"Yuki-san?" he blushed even deeper.
"Yeah! ^_^ I made up a nickname for you! Isn't it cute?"
"Uh, yeah." He nodded still blushing.
"I like nicknames." She said putting her hands behind the back of her head and looked off into the garden. "My momma said I'm aloud to give nicknames as long as they're not mean."
He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes. "Really? I-is my nickname mean?"
She shook her head. "No. I only give mean nicknames to mean people." She smiled brightly and leaned toward him making him lean back, wide eyed. "But you're sweet, Yuki-san!" ^__^
"Sashimi?" Sashimasu called. "Could you give us a hand with some of these baskets?"
"Okie, Momma!" she skipped over.
"You too, Yukidaruma!" Sashimasu waved him over. "Come in and join the fun!"
He nodded giving a whispered "okay" and went over to help. sweet?
~~~ (end flashback)~~~ ^_~*
Miroku sat on the side of a hill near the edge of town, just sitting and enjoying the sound of the wind. Sumiko came waddling past, searching the grass as if she were looking for a missing gold ball.
"Lose something, Sumiko-sama?" he asked.
"No," she put her hands on her hips and looked around at the horizon like she would see one out there. Then she looked at him and said, "Sumiko is looking for Vitolitto."
Miroku blinked and said nothing. He had no idea what a Vitolitto looked like or what it did at all. "What does it look like?" he asked.
She made several hand movements to demonstrate several measurements then said, "It's bigger then a bread box."
"A what?" he asked.
"Nevermind. Sumiko has to find it on her own." She sank to her knees and began to part patches of grass like unruly green hairs.
Miroku sighed. Why did Scorpiogal's original characters always have to be so strange and confusing?
(AN: I still ask myself that question…luckily, I have yet to find an answer. ^_^)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Holy shit-taki mushrooms." Miroku made a U turn. He'd rather look for Vitolitto with Sumiko then face the hellish wrath of-
"FREEZE MR.!"
He froze. "Ah-haha! Sango!" ^__^ ;;; he grinned nervously.
"Where the hell have you been!! You're supposed to be helping Kagome take care of the baby just like the rest of us!" Sango came over with her hair up under a decorative clip.
"Inu Yasha's not helping!" Shippou complained as he came back from the spring with an armful of clean glasses that Kagome had him wash.
"That's because Inu Yasha is an idiot!" Sango said to him, she turned back on Miroku. "You were supposed to go to the market to get more cloth diapers! Where are they?"
"Well….ehehehe….you see Sango, there was this beautiful young women who had six children…."
"She can get her own freakin' diapers! She has more connections to illegitimate father's then she does servants!" Sango said.
"Are you okay, Miss Sango?" Miroku asked. "You seem a bit…tense…"
"No kidding." She sighed exasperatedly and sank to her knees on the ground. "I need a drink….seriously….a Mellow Yellow sounds pretty good right about now."
"Well how about this," Miroku said, "I'll get you a soda from Kagome's bag, then I'll go get the cloth diapers."
"She brought them with her??" Sango asked in shock.
"She has them, she's just not drinking them." Miroku winked.
Sango blushed and frowned. That wink told her that there was some sick ulterior motive behind this. "What do you want in return?"
Miroku looked at her innocently. "Hm? Whatever do you mean, Sango?"
She sweatdropped. "You want something right?"
Miroku grinned, Oh Sango, you always know what I want!" ^_^
She blushed. "This conversation is over." She shifted to stand up but felt a tug on her hair. "OW!"
"What??" he asked.
"My hair is-" she reached up and touched the spot where the clip in her hair had snagged on the front of his priest robe. "Shit." She tried to pull them apart but it only made her hair hurt worse.
"What the -?! How did that happen?" Miroku asked trying to help her.
"I don't know! You're robe attacked my clip!"
"I think it's your clip that attacked my robe, Miss Sango."
"Just get it off!"
Shio came walking up the path and froze midstep staring straight ahead. There was Miroku standing in the path, with his knees bent a bit and his hands in Sango's hair and Sango on her knees in front of him and her hands up near her face.
"Whoa, that kicks the crud out of my most dangerous sex places!" he said and completed his mid-step as he walked over to them. "I never thought of you two doing this sort of thing in public."
"Huh?" Miroku looked over his shoulder at him.
"What?" Sango asked.
Shio saw the expressions on their faces and said, "Oh so you're not playing 'Find the Rangoon Filling'?"
Sango gasped in horror and shouted, "You perverted Bozo! My freaking hairclip is stuck on him!"
Shio knelt next to her and asked, "Well how did you get down there in the first place?"
"I sat down from exhaustion!"
"In the middle of the path?"
Sango tried to drop kick his legs but he sprang out of the way.
"Calm down, Babe! All I did was ask a question!" he went over to her and unclipped it from her hair. "See? It's that easy."
Sango rubbed the sore spot on her head and blushed lightly, frowning at him. "Aren't you supposed to be doing something Shio? Like maybe showing off your bright colors in order to attract a mate?"
"Oh now I remember! I came to get Preistman." Shio said, totally ignoring her comment.
"What for?" she asked.
"It's a 'guy thing.'" Shio said and began to walk off.
Miroku followed without caring why. It was anything to get out of chores and being yelled at by Sango. He got one last dirty look from Sango before going to catch up with him. "What is it, Shio?" he asked.
"Love lessons time, remember?" he asked.
"Oh yes! I remember now!" ^_^ Miroku smiled like a kid at his birthday party.
-
About seven miles away from the village, there was a little pond. The reflection in the water showed the sky which was blue with whisps of gray floating by, and along the edges were the reflections of leaves in treebranches high above. The reflection of a samuri stood over the pond and looked down at it. The samuri pushed the loose strands of hair back under the shell of the helmet, straightened the chest plate, and turned around.
On the ground, a guy was roped, hogtied and gagged in his boxers. The samuri struck a small pose and asked, "What do you think? It looked good on you, but I'm somewhat of a summer."
The guy made a muffled sound behind the cloth around his mouth.
"Yeah, I guess I'll need your horse too then." The samuri picking up the two green sacks lying in the grass and saddled them up to the real samuri's brown horse. Then the samuri turned to the guy, tipped their helmet and said, "Thanks for the gear, dude!" the samuri winked.
The guy made another muffled noise and struggled.
"Oh by the way," the samuri went back over to him and unrolled a wanted poster in front of his face. It had a bright picture of Shio on it offering a huge reward. "Have you seen this man?"
He gave the samuri a confused look.
With a sigh, the poster was rolled up and stuffed back inside the armor. "Fine then, I'm out of here." The samuri climbed onto the horse and galloped away.
-
"Will I learn how to-?"
"Maybe."
"Will I learn how to-?"
"Maybe."
"Will I learn how to-?"
"Maybe."
"How do you even know what I'm going to ask?" Miroku asked.
"You're about to ask me a question about sex." Shio said, having gone over this for the fourteenth time. "I've explained how I'm going to do this many times, I want you to listen this time, okay?"
-
-
"Do you understand it now?" Shio asked.
"Yes." Miroku nodded.
"Okay, good." Shio relaxed.
"No wait…no I don't." Miroku said looking confused again.
Shio sighed and leaned forward with his head and arms hanging loosely in front of him. ;;; (AN: a very nice view actually…)
"I don't understand it! Are you trying to tell me there's a difference between love and sex?? I don't get it!!" @_@
"Alright, I'll try to explain it again. Try to pay very close attention."
"I am paying attention! But the more you explain it to me, the more I get lost!" ;;;
Suddenly a girl came galloping up the path on a white horse.
"Who's that?" Miroku asked and he & Shio turned to see who it was.
She was young with long black hair and a heart shaped face. At a guess, one would think she was older then she actually was, which was 14. She wore makeup to make herself look older and prettier. She also wore expensive robes with pictures of butterflies on a cornflower blue backround.
She stopped her horse on the path, reered it and giggled. She looked at them with a glittering smile. "Do either of you know a guy with the name Shio?"
"At your service ma'dam." He turned away from Miroku and gave an elegant bow.
The girl grinned , slid off her horse from her side saddle position and stood smiling at him excitedly. "Oh…my…god! You are like so hot!" she chimed.
"Why yes! ^_^ Yes I am!" he smiled back at her and stood up straight. "How may I be of service my lovely princess?"
She brought her hand to her mouth and giggled again. "Uh yeah! By like dating me you can, Cutiepie!" she pulled out a piece of paper and held it up in front of him. It was the personal written by Kagome.
He took it from her and skimmed through it. He jerked his head back and sweatdropped. "Erk?!"
That wasn't what he said to write!
"So now I'm here!" She took the personnel back and folded it into fours. "I'm young, I'm beautiful, and I'm filthy stinking rich!!" ^__^
He smiled at her and sweat dropped. "Really?" ;;;
"Yeah!" ^___^
"Holla!"
Another girl came up to them. By the way she walked and dressed, it was obvious that she was a prostitute. Her skin was light tan and she spoke with a Cuban/French accent. "Do you know Shio?"
"That's me." Shio glanced over his shoulder and his eyes popped. "Holla, Senorita!" he turned to face her.
She gave him a white, toothy grin. "I came to get to know you." She held up a personal. The one that Inu Yasha wrote.
"Uh, Shio?" Miroku asked looking in another direction.
Shio turned around and they saw three girls coming up the hill toward them. One girl was dressed like a big game hunter, she held up Sango's personal. The second girl had wild hair, freckles, and country clothes. She held up Shippou's personal. The third girl had her hair in a purple bow and wore a lavender yuttuka. She held up Miroku's personal.
"Uh…" Shio sweatdropped.
Miroku looked excited.
Then a female cat demon dropped out of a tree and held up Kirara's personal. Shio took it from her and looked at it. "What does this say?" he asked.
"It says," the cat demon started, "Aka Shio, age 17, fox demon enchanter, looking for a tall, attractive woman who is as beautiful as he is." She stated basically the same things that were written on the others. Shio looked down at the paper, which had one paw print in the center of it. He looked up at the cat demoness, then down at the paper, then back up at her, "What?"