Disclaimer

(Scene of a grassy knoll and the wooden frame of a shed. Kagome's standing, holding a tool box in front of her with a bright smile on her face. Standing next to her is Inu Yasha dressed like a construction worker with light blue jeans, sleeveless beige shirt, construction hat, belt, and workers gloves. He has his arms folded and a scowl on his face.)

Kagome: (continues to smile at the readers but says to Inu Yasha) Go on dog boy, say it.

Inu Yasha: (grumbles) Why am I the construction worker?

Kagome: You should be glad to be the construction worker, he's the lead singer!

Inu Yasha: Kouga and Jakotsu get guns with their costumes, Shio get's a bow and arrow, Sesshomaru gets a bigger gun, and Miroku has a motorcycle.

Kagome: So?

Inu Yasha: I have a hammer. -_-

Kagome: What's wrong with that?

Inu Yasha: A hammer isn't cool!

Kagome: Sure it is!

Inu Yasha: How in hell is a construction worker sexy or cool in any way?!

Kagome: You're fine, okay? You get to construction on things and shout things at pretty women when they pass by!

Inu Yasha: Sounds like Miroku should have been the construction worker. -_-

Kagome: If you really don't like it, you can trade later.

Inu Yasha: Good.

Kagome: Are you going to say it now?

Inu Yasha: Scorpiogal does not own Inu Yasha: the story itself and me.

Kagome: There now, was that so hard?

Inu Yasha: No, but I thought you were going to make me say something else.

Kagome: Huh? Oh yeah! I almost forgot about that! ^_^ Say that one!!

Inu Yasha: No way!! _

Kagome: Please!

Inu Yasha: No! *scowls and looks away*

Kagome: Fine then. *looks away calmly* No more sex.

Inu Yasha: *Eyes widen slightly then twirls hammer. He holds it in the air and smirks at the readers* Mind if I work on you?

Kagome: ^__^ There! That was very nice.

Inu Yasha: *blushes and folds his arms* Well?

Kagome: Well what?

Inu Yasha: *doesn't look her in the eye but continues to blush* That thing with the no more-

Kagome: Oh that? Too late. You had to have done it the first time I asked.

Inu Yasha: WHAT?!

Kagome: ^_^ Happy readings ya'll!!

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Chapter 13. Don't Trust the Milk

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            'I'm a father! I'm a father! I'm a father!' Inu Yasha's mind chanted these words over and over again and wouldn't stop.

            The baby woke up again for the third time that hour and cried loudly. Kagome came over exhaustedly. She lifted the baby up off the mat and cradled her softly. "No, please baby, don't cry."

            Inu Yasha looked at the ground as if he would find the answers there. 'How could this have happened?'

[{"Yes!" "Oh!" "Yes!" "Oh!"}]

            Inu Yasha sweatdropped and his eyes narrowed. 'Well yeah, but that's not what I meant…' ;;;;;;;;

            "Sango?? Where are the diapers?!" Kagome shouted.

            "They're not dry yet!" Sango shouted back.

            "Well neither is Inu Onna!" ;;; Kagome shouted.

            'How could this have happened to me? I don't sleep around…Shio sleeps around…why isn't he the father of an illegitimate child? It doesn't seem fair….'

            "Somebody go get some diapers quickly!" Kagome shouted desperately.

            "Where the hell did Miroku go?? He was supposed to go get some!" Sango shouted angrily.

            'So what does this mean now? I don't know what to do.'

            All of a sudden, Kagome came up behind him and kicked his butt so hard he lifted off the floor. He got up holding his backside and glared at her. "What the hell is your problem!?!"
            Sango grabbed the front of his kimono and shook him. "LISTEN PAL, I KNOW YOU DON'T FEEL COMPELLED TO HELP, BUT WE NEED THOSE JACKASS FRIENDS OF YOURS!! GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND GO GET MIROKU!!!"

            "Shit, Sango!! Go get 'em yourself!" he shouted back.

            They threw him outside the hut and he skidded across the dirt on his face. When he stopped, he just kind of sat for a few moments with his tuckus in the air and his face planted in the dirt.

            Sumiko came walking by looking for her Vitolitto. She saw Inu Yasha and went around to look at him. She put her face level near his, got in the same position he was in and asked, "What'cha doin', Mr. Puppy?"

            He pulled himself up out of the dirt, lookin' mighty troubled. "Nuthin." He growled. He got up and started to stomp off.

            Sumiko skipped after him like a ballet dancer. Naraku sat on her head holding onto her hair so that he wouldn't fall off.

            Instead of doing what he was told, Inu Yasha went and sat on the little hill Miroku was sitting on earlier. He sat in his meditation pose and closed his eyes. Sumiko did a jeté behind him and made an Ed – like sound. (AN: You know Ed - from cowboy bebop…)

            She did a twirl and struck a ballerina pose. Then she relaxed, and leaned forward with her hands behind her back. Naraku was careless and fell off of her head into the grass, giving a loud squeak with impact.  "Is puppy tired?" she asked.

            "No." he said with his eyes still closed.

            "Puppy looks tired." She said sitting down across from him and looking up at him.

            "I'm not tired." He said calmly.

            Sumiko tilted her head to the side. "Well, Sumiko was talking about puppies thoughts. Puppy seems unhappy."

            This made Inu Yasha sigh, signifying that she was correct.

            "Tell Sumiko." She said, grabbing Naraku and forcing him to sit in her lap.

            Oddly enough, he actually wanted to talk about it with her. Maybe it was her mysterious ways, or her odd view of life, but whatever it was, Inu Yasha felt like she would somehow understand him or be able to help him. "Why me?" he asked.

            "Why you what?" she asked.

            "Why is Inu Onna my daughter? Why was she born now? I mean if this had happened at a time where I wasn't so confused or in the middle of trying to figure out what I'm going to do about the future, I might have been ready! What am I going to do? I don't know what to do about Kikyo or Kagome…who am I supposed to choose? Die for Kikyo, or raise a baby I never had a choice about? What's right? Is making one of them unhappy inevitable? I'm so confused."

            Sumiko looked upward, silently mouthing something to herself.

            Inu Yasha sweat dropped, realizing he gave her too many questions at once.

             She got up and walked away whispering to herself.

            After a few seconds, Inu Yasha flopped backward into the grass. "Feh….So much for help…" he grumbled.

-

            Shio took a deep breath and rubbed the palms of his hands together looking over the line of girls in front of him. "Well, well, well'y, well, well…"

            Each one smiled at him.

            Miroku grinned too. If Shio didn't want one of them, he would be prepared to fumble the ball. (AN: What???)

            "Well," Shio said again with a sweat drop. "I believe you all know me, though I never caught your names." He nodded. "Names are good. Why don't we start with names?"

            The rich girl who came in first chimed, "My name is Daigakuimo, (AN: Roughly translated as "Sugared Sweet Potato") but my sisters call me Daiga for short."

            The Columbian Prostitute flipped her long black hair back over her shoulder and said in heavy accent, "I am Manjyu. (AN: Means "Steamed Cake") I do a lot of traveling, but my family lives far, far away from here."

            The hunter had lightly tanned skin, she was obviously the outdoorsy type. She had smooth skin and a graceful neck, and oval eyes. "My name is Taiyaki. (AN: Her name is the same as a food called "Carp shaped cake") I guide lost travelers and hunt for sport."

            There was the country girl, who had fluffy light brown hair, and a lot of freckles on her face and neck that were the same color. The weird thing was, this made her look very attractive. "My name is Pai (AN: Just means "Pie"). My family and I grow, distill and sell our own sake."

            The girl who wore a lavender dress and a bow in her hair looked at him with large innocent brown eyes. "My name is Nikkei. (AN: Translates to "cinnamon"..does that tell you if she's really innocent or not?) She held up her arms to hug him. Shio stepped forward and hugged her. All of a sudden, her hand which was on his back moved down.

            Sfx- *bike horn*

            Shio jolted in shock and looked at her in amazement. She winked, blew him a kiss and went to go stand with the other girls…who glared at her threateningly.

            The last girl was the cat demon. She stuck out her hand and said, "Matatabi." ^_^ (AN: means "catnip")

            Instinctively, he took her hand and kissed it. "And what makes you so unique Miss Matatabi?"

            She smiled and giggled behind a catlike grin. "I'll say that I am to your liking…it is up to you to figure out how I work."

            He smiled at her as she joined the other girls. "Well," Shio said placing his hands behind his back. "I….never really planned for this to happen."

            Just then Sumiko came walking up. "Oh cool!" she ran over and shook the hands of the girls. "This is so cool! ^_^ Hi! Sumiko I am! Shio-sama's lil' sister!"

            The girls went 'ooh' and 'aww' at her cuteness.

            "Well, Sumiko, Now what?" Shio asked smiling at all of the girls.

            She turned to him excitedly. "Don't 'cha know, Kitty-chan?? You've gotta spend time with each of them, fall in love with one of them, then ask the one you love to be your mate!"

            Shio smiled nervously at her then at the girls who all smiled at him. ^_____^

~*~*~*~*~

             Inu Onna lay on her stomach with her elbows and knees bent. She was gumming a teething ring making puppy-like growling sounds. "Hrrrrr hrrr hrrr…arf..hrrr…"

            Kagome came in and set a glass of milk on the floor next to Shippou who watched the baby from a safe distance. He looked at the milk then up at Kagome confused, "Kagome, I thought you were going to breast feed Inu Onna!"

            "I was, but-" she looked over at the baby.

            Inu Onna growled and popped open one of the gel bubbles of the teething ring with her gums.

            "I just decided to subtly move her on the bottle." ;;; Kagome looked back at Shippou.

            Shippou nodded but still looked confused.

            "I'm back!" Miroku walked in carrying a bundle of cloth diapers.

            "Too late, Miroku." Kagome gave him a flat glare.

            "Yeah, Sango already went out to get some since you took so long." Shippou stated.

            "Oh." Miroku sweatdropped and set the diapers on the floor. "Sorry about that. Where is Sango?"

            "She's outside. I told her to take a break." Kagome said glaring at him more noticeably. "After all, she has done so much work around here, I figured she deserved it."

            That was enough to kind of make him look nervous and guilty as he left the hut.

            Stupid jerk. Kagome glared at the door he had left through. Blowing off helping Sango like that. Why do guys have to be so noncommittal?

            "Kagome?"

            "Yes, Shippou?"

            "Why can't Inu Onna crawl yet?"

            "Oh Shippou, it'll be a very long time before she can crawl." Kagome said. She went over to her backpack and pulled out four boxes of ramen and a couple cans of soda. Then she stood up and said, "I'll be right back, Shippou! Watch Inu Onna okay?"

            "Okay, Kagome!" he said and she went outside.

            Inu Onna made another growling sound, biting the hell out of her teething ring, when suddenly she noticed that there was a lack of mother in the hut. She looked around then glared at Shippou as if it were his fault that Kagome was gone.

            He sweatdropped and blinked.

            "Eh!" Inu Onna chucked the teething ring as hard as she could and hit Shippou in the face. Now you gotta remember that dog demon puppies are stronger then normal babies. The plastic toy hit him in the face so hard he fell backwards with swirly eyes.

            Inu Onna then proceeded to whine and whimper, and would do so till her mommy came back. Inu Yasha, who was walking past the hut, heard her and thought to himself, 'Where's Kagome?'

            He walked inside the hut and sat down against the wall. Inu Onna saw him and her whimpering started to lessen as she stared at him and his dog ears.

            Inu Yasha looked over at Shippou who was lying on his back twitching. The dog boy raised his eyebrow, 'feh'ed and closed his eyes irritatedly. "Moron." He muttered.

            Inu Onna started sucking on her knuckles since she didn't have the teething ring anymore. Inu Yasha looked down at her and she looked up at him with wide little golden eyes of interest.

            "What are you looking at?" he asked.

            "She made a noise with her lips still clamped over her knuckles that sounded like, "buwa."

            Inu Yasha eyed all of the food laid out on the floor: Beef ramen, Original style, teriyaki brand, a box of pokey, VagetaBeta, Lemon Water, Rayjia, and a cup of milk.

             Kagome walked up to the front door of the hut, having no success in finding Inu Yasha whatsoever. She pushed passed the mat hanging in the doorway and froze in horror. Inu Yasha was sitting on the floor, drinking from the cup of milk she had set there. At the sound of her chocking gasp he glanced up at. "What?" he went back to drinking.

            She practically screamed out at the wrongness. "INU YASHA! THAT'S BREAST MILK!!!"

            Right as she said the word "milk", his eyes popped and he sprayed out all of the milk that was in his mouth. He started gagging and scaping his tongue with his fingernails. "GAK! Why didn't you tell me wench?!?!"

            Inu Onna squealed with laughter.

            "WELL I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING IN HERE, I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU ANYWAY!!"

            Inu Yasha made a gagging sound and staggered outside. Kagome followed him. Inu Onna watched them leave and blinked in confusion.

            Without even realizing that she left her alone in the hut with Shippou (who didn't count because he had been knocked out by a chew toy), Kagome followed him only a few steps away from the hut where he squatted down and started yanking clumps of grass out of the ground and shoving them into his mouth.

            She cringed at the sight but had to get out what she wanted to say. "Inu Yasha, I want you to watch the baby while I'm gone!" she said assertively.

            "Wha??" he frowned up at her with a mouth full of grass. Of course the frowning was mostly there because of the horrible taste of grass. "Hell no! I'm not taking care of no puppy!"

            "Inu Yasha, get over it. It's your baby, It's my baby. Deal!" she said.

            "If you didn't notice, I'm in the middle of a mid life crisis here!!!" he shouted.

            Right as Sango came over, Inu Yasha crawled away and got sick behind a tree.

            "Ew!" she flaired her nostrils in disgust then turned to Kagome who was equally grossed out. "Kagome?"

            "I have never seen a guy," Kagome started shaking her head with pity, "Who was so afraid of commitment."

            Sango hung her head in ahmen until they heard Shio's voice, "Dude! What happen to you?!"

            Kagome sweatdropped nervously, "I stand corrected."

            Shio was back from wherever he was, and standing with a group of strange yet pretty young women.

            "Crap," Kagome groaned. "Maybe I shouldn't leave yet."

            "Noooo…go ahead, Kagome! Get what you need, we'll be here watching the baby." Then she frowned in all of the guy's direction. "At least I will."

            "Thank you Sango." Kagome smiled at her thankfully and walked past Inu Yasha who was lying on the ground with swirly eyes just like Shippou. He had little dog bones flying in circles around his head.

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Ho boy, now you're in for it! ^______^

Guess what? I went online on the morning of the 26th, and saw four new reviews for the last chapter. I read them and came across a very interesting review which had been written by a soul named RedHerring: "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*wipes a tear from eye* oh man, wow. That was halarious... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! i want to know where you get your inspiration, some of this stuff is so random.
Anyways, update sooner than you did! ^~^"

*Laughs like doctor LaQuack*

Okie doke! ^___________^ Let us see….

How did I get the inspiration for Shio's character?

Can you say, "Dude, where's my car??" ^___________^

Any knowledge I display about babies, was taken and warped from the World Book Encyclopedia 2001. ^_^ Yes…warped to fit my needs…..

The way I write, is mostly the way I talk in real life…if you hear maniacal laughter, or a bunch of big words used in compound sentences….yeah, it's all me ^_^… *nodding like a beatnick*

With Inu Onna being able to sit up and support her neck and stuff like that, I figured that when she turned half demon like her daddy (her daddy ^____^) that she would be stronger then a normal baby and stuff like that…she will show a lot of suprising differences to normal children as the story progresses…or you can just go read "Problem Child"…^___^

Inu Onna's voice by the way….when and if I write about her as a little girl, she will have the voice of Lilo from Lilo and Stitch or that little girl from Spirited Away…which ever one you are more comfortable imagining….and when and if I write about her as a teenager, she will have the voice of Videl from Dragonball Z. ^__^ I like to think about this kind of stuff….

Most of the comedy I developed over a certain span of time. I just woke up one day and said to myself, "Hey! I like reading comedies and short stories…why don't I learn how to make jokes up on the spot and write stories that are to the point. (That's how they started out anyway…then I started to learn things like symbolism and such…)

Anything else, I get from T.V. and music. ^_^ T.V. made me do it….

That's right mom….I'm a mish-mash….I'm a hogde podge of ideas! ^ - ^V