[Disclaimer:]
[Scorpiogal is walking down the sidewalk with Shio dressed as a tomahawk Indian walking behind her. It's late at night and she made Shio wear a reflector on his feathered headdress so that passing cars won't fly off the road and mangle them horribly]
Scorpiogal: Muwahahahaha – muwahhahahahaha – MUWAHAHHAHAHAHAAA!!!!
Shio: *gives her a funny look* …….;;;;;;;;
Scorpiogal: Hehehehe ^_^ *looks at a piece of paper she's holding and crosses off another name it's a list of her past ex boyfriends who played with her emotions (quite a long list)* Okay Shio, how's the supplies?
Shio: *looks inside a plastic bag he's carrying* Two cans of whipped cream, the steam machine is still working, the strobe light is still working, the sterio is okay, and we have about two thirds of film left.
Scorpiogal: Good! That's all we need…muwahahaha…..
Shio: Ah…Scorpia? Can I ask you a question?
Scorpiogal: No, I still don't own Inu Yasha.
Shio: No! I'm talking about my contract!!
Scorpiogal: Oo You're contract??? I didn't know you had a contract……
Shio: T_T Scorpia, you said you'd listen…..
Scorpiogal: I'm just kidding you, Fuzzyface, fire away!
Shio: Groovy, *pulls his "contract" from his large feathered headdress* According to article number 34 C section a., my constitutions clearly state that my actions are there for deceiving natures beyond any other said persons control.
Scorpiogal: …….I'm sorry, you lost me around the part about your feathered headdress.
Shio: *smacks his contract* What this complicated piece of shit is trying to say is that my whole personality is based on my freedom and uncontrollable libido. In other words, I'm supposed to be a player and the cool funny guy.
Scorpiogal: What's your point?
Shio: I don't appreciate being forced into finding a mate.
Scorpiogal: ……*blinks and looks around* And…..that means I should care?
Shio: - - ;;;; yes!
Scorpiogal: Oh……well I….sort of don't….
Shio: *face fault* ;;;;
Chapter 16: Jeepers Creepers
The chibbi little hanyo pup, known as Inu Onna, gurgled with high pitched, happy baby laughter. Watching her father cradle his sensitive witto ears and mumble his unhappiness brought her hysterical fun.
Inu Yasha rubbed his ears soothingly. Were they bleeding?? He hoped not…Oh goodness, oh the pain!! T_T Still rubbing his ears between his fingers he turned back to his daughter and glared down at her dangerously.
Not that he would actually do anything to hurt her physically, even he knew that was sick. "What?" he asked her seriously. "You think that my pain is funny??" he asked as if she could understand or respond properly.
Inu Onna pointed and laughed at him again, making happy baby noises. She grabbed her own ears like he was doing and imitated his voice while making little growls and baby sounds. Then she grabbed her toes and fell backwards laughing again.
Oh my god, if that weren't the cutest….
"Don't act all innocent! I'm not your mother!" he said with a sweat drop.
She growled at him again baring the four or five stubs of teeth she had growing in then laughed all high pitched like.
It was amazing how freakishly cute she could act when she wasn't a charging hunting dog of death! I mean wow, Inu Yasha really felt like he was going to get a cavity from her sweetness!!
He glared at her warily. He wasn't going to be fooled for a minute. "You think you're so innocent, with your stubby limbs and your five puppy teeth, and your "vulnerability"…" he said.
Inu Onna stopped laughing and just stared up at him with her little lips parted a bit.
"But I know what you really are," he said all dramatic like. Must have been watching too many episodes of "As the Pale Moon Rotates" with Kagome's mom….
"You're the evil offspring of doom!" he said. (AN: Reading it is silly enough, try saying it out loud! ;;;;)
"You may be young and feeble and without motor skills, but you don't know how many problems you've forced on me!! You've changed everything!"
The baby blinked and said nothing.
"Instead of looking for Naraku, I'm stuck here because you demand all of Kagome's attention - and then some from everyone else!"
The baby blinked and said nothing.
"Also, because of you, Kagome's all irritable and I know even less about what's wrong with her then before you came along!"
The baby blinked and said nothing.
"I'm being made to choose between Kagome and Kikyo, I don't know what to do, and every minute makes me want to rip my own head off!!"
There was a small well of drool forming in the baby's parted lips. A droplet of drool hung off the edge of her bottom lip by at least a full inch.
Inu Yasha sweat dropped. After a moment he sighed, hung his head, and grumbled. "Dear Kami," he grabbed the edge of the pink baby dress Kagome had put on her and brought it up to wipe the baby's mouth. "You little drool monkey," He said then chuckled at his own joke.
The baby looked up at him then put her knuckles in her mouth, wondering what he was laughing at.
_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_
Shio walked up to his third date of the day, Taiyaki the huntress. She wore casual clothes, nothing too fancy like she wanted to keep it casual, but nothing horrible looking. She looked quite pretty in face. She smiled up at him with pretty brown eyes. She wasn't as short as Princess Daiga, but she was still shorter then Shio. She must have been about 16 or so. At least that's what her fine tanned skin told him.
They gave each other a quick bow before Shio pointed a thumb out of his shoulder and started to speak, "Do you drink sake? Because I know a little place-"
"Oh wait! Before you say anything else," Taiyaki interrupted him. "My parents…"
"What about your parents?"
"Well my family, they want to meet you before we go out and everything. I hope you don't mind?" she gave him an apologizing look.
This was different. Shio had never met a girl's parents before. Hmmm…well it was just the girls parents, how bad could it be? "Sure! No problem at all!" he nodded to her and she smiled at him, with a row of bright white teeth. (AN: Yeah! I bet you didn't know how nice people's teeth were back then without crest whitener!)
So they began their walk to Taiyaki's home, which was actually not to far from the garden Shio had planned for them to go in the first place. Would forgetting to call and cancel affect the service of the next date he brought there?
"So what are your parents like?" Shio asked.
"Well," Taiyaki pushed her hair back behind one of her ears, that was when Shio noticed she had little brown freckles around her nose. Very cute. "My dad kind of left me mom and me when I was little."
"Oh." He said, visably putting his foot in his mouth so that she knew he was sorry for asking.
"It's okay, really," she smiled at him reassuringly. "He wasn't a good person anyway, apparently into illegal opium transports – oh my god! I can't believe I just told you that!" she put her hand over her mouth.
"No problem! I don't care!" Shio laughed.
"I have a problem with that, always giving too much information and such. Most of the time I don't even realize it and my mom tells me it's dishonorable."
"I'm totally fine with it, everyone gives too much information once in a while right?" he asked.
"Right." She laughed a little.
"Well then, how's the rest of your family?" he asked.
"My mom is okay. The same as every other Japanese mom I guess, hehe…"
Shio laughed fakely. "I – wouldn't know actually."
"Oh? Did your parents get divorced or something?" she asked.
"No, she died a long time ago."
"Oh my – I'm sorry now!"
Shio laughed again. "You know what? Why don't you just surprise me with your parents or guardians when we get to your house, Savvy?"
She laughed as well and nodded her agreement.
After a few moments or silence, Shio decided it was time to turn up the charm. "Do you go tanning or something? Your skin is just – wow!"
She gave a flattered laugh and replied, "It's a free tan – courtesy of my job!" ^_^
"Ah! Really? Because when I first met you I thought, 'Damn! All of her friends must be jealous, man!'"
She laughed again and the freckles around her nose really showed. She automatically went from cute to gorgeous.
"You're very handsome yourself!" she blushed slightly, looking really hot.
"Yeah," he laughed a little. "I get that a lot."
She laughed thinking he was being funny.
Soon they got to a little village where she lived in a good sized house. It wasn't a mansion, but it wasn't some hut made of cardboard either. A couple of kids a boy and a girl with the same skin as Taiyaki's, presumably her brother and sister saw her and ran over to jump on her and hug her, calling, "Taiyaki's home! Taiyaki's home!"
Then a short, strong looking middle aged woman, slightly plump with her hair tied back into a bun came fast walking out of their house she ran up to Taiyaki and gave her a warm hug. "Oh Tai, I'm so glad you're home!" she sang happily.
"I missed you too, mother!" she hugged her back.
Shio smiled at the cuteness of her family. A tall guy, slightly taller then Shio came out, he had his hair tied into a topknot and he carried a scythe from the field. He came up and slapped Shio on the back. "Hey! Sup, stranger!" he said. He hugged Taiyaki and kissed her on the cheek. "Nice to see you back, Sis!" he said.
"Thank you, Koi!" she smiled at him.
The mother then rounded on Shio. "And who is this pretty young man?" ^_^
"This is Shio, mom!" Taiyaki smiled up at Shio then back at her family for approval. "I brought him to eat dinner with us, is that okay?"
"Of course it's okay, sweatheart!" her mother said. "It would be wrong of us not to feed him now that he's here!" She smiled at Shio like he was one of her many children. "Well come on in, Shio! I was just in the middle of making Taiyaki's favorite - grilled fish!"
"Mmm! I love grilled fish!" the little girl said galloping into the house after the little brother.
"You love everything!" the little brother laughed.
And just because he could, Shio laughed too. It was a freakishly adorable little family, and he loved them already. And Taiyaki secretly could tell that her family already loved him and that caused her to grin as she stepped inside their home.
Shio walked through that matt covered door and froze. His insides did a major flip flop as if he had just climbed aboard a descending roller coaster. Inside Taiyaki's home, were the furs and bones and trophies of what Shio guessed was every demon she had ever killed and then some.
Probably a family career or something….
"Come on in, Shio!" Taiyaki saw him standing in the doorway looking around. She went up to him and grabbed his hand to get his attention. He turned his head to look at her quickly.
"Are you okay?" she asked him a bit concerned.
He nodded but didn't say anything, and she led him to go sit with the family.
Taiyaki and her family probably knew that anything like bones or fur that comes from demon is dangerous because the demon energy stays in it, and that with time the demonic aura fades out of it. But demons like Shio knew that unless you're a monk or the bone is stored in a monastery, that demon aura isn't going anywhere. There were furs spread out for mats and folded for blankets, trophies were either decorating the walls or hovering in the corner, they had taken bones they found, and either hung them like a decoration in the house, carved them into tiny Buddha statuettes, or sanded into beads that Taiyaki's mother wore around her neck.
Oh yeah, they still had their demon energy alright. And even though the humans couldn't feel it, Shio felt his ears humming with their youkai. The hairs of his tail went bottlebrush. He felt kinda sick, and a bit nervous. The numerous youkai trophies whispered amongst themselves in the spirit dimension, moaning or whispering things he couldn't understand because it was muffled by the wind and all of the other things whispering around him.
Taiyaki drew him back into the world of the mortal and living. He looked down at her to see her holding his hands in hers and looking up at him worriedly. "Shio, are you sure you're okay? You look a bit green."
"Huh?" He looked confused for a second, as if he forgot where he was then grinned widely at her and gave a nervous laugh. "No! I think it's just my clothes that are green." He pulled the sides of his pants a little which where in fact as green as his eyes. "No worries, Tai! I'm totally fine!" said with a couple of sweatdrops.
She nodded hesitatently, and followed her across the room. He walked across a large salt and pepper brownish-grey fur on the ground and the image of a huge rabbit like demon with glowing eyes being speared, flashed before his eyes. He glanced at the carpet afterwards and could hear it's last cry of pain. Shio sat down next to the little girl and boy who sat crosslegged and looked up at Shio interestedly. He smiled at them as warmly as he could manage under the stress of the youkai, before looking up at a wall decoration. Feathers green like a peacock feather, poked out all around the sides of an ivory plate with a carving of a spring. Another image flashed in front of his eyes of a group of low level demons. It was like a gathering for some sort of odd mating ritual. They were scaly feathered little buggers all of them. About thirty or so flew around each other like a swarm of gnats, their metallic green feathers sparkling in the sunlight. Then a bunch of painful looking arrows shot through the air and they scattered, screaming and scuttling for their lives. One of them was pierced through the heart. Feathers flew everywhere and it screeched a high pitched pterodactyl like sound.
Shio winced at the sound and found himself looking down at the kids once more. They didn't seem to find any signs of discomfort on his person at all. Then the little boy pointed up at him and asked, "Are you a demon?"
Shio nodded to him. "Yeah! I have demon ears and a demon tail and demon powers!" he smiled down at them.
Normal demon aura wouldn't bother him because, well….because he was a demon! The fact that these were dead, suffering souls of demons might have made them a bit more creepy and disturbing.
The little girl asked, "What kind of demon?"
"I'm a-" before he could answer the mother came in and said. "The grilled fish is ready! Come and get it!"
"Alright! I'm starved!" Taiyaki grinned at Shio. There was something very interesting in that smile. Even though all of those images he got from her home interior were quite disturbing, something about that smile told him that he might just get a special dessert – if he stayed….
They walked into the other room where they had a low and long table, as if they always fed strangers. The table was set with plates and chopsticks laying across each bowl. One large plate of steaming hot fish sat between two large platters of chopped vegetables and teriyaki & broccoli. The whole family came in to sit down. Shio automatically noticed that the wall decorations had continued into this room. The whispers seemed to get louder as he walked closer to them to get to his seat. He heard voices of death in his ear, Run awaaaaay! Get oouut while yoou sttiill caaaan! They're muuuurdereerrrrs!
Shio sat down next to Taiyaki. Glancing briefly at her he noticed a necklace that reminded him of Inu Yasha a little. It had round fat beads and small sharp teeth going in a pattern of six by one. The image flashed in front of his eyes of a puppy like dog demon running from whoever's eyes he was seeing through in the vision. Then the dog demon pup ran into a dead end where whoever it was had him cornered. The puppy pushed himself into the corner crying for his mommy. He looked at whoever it was with his eyes wide in complete and total horror. Then his chest was slashed wide open.
Shio was brought back to reality and found himself in a cold sweat. He gulped and looked around the table were everyone was frozen in whatever they were doing at the time to look up at him in bewilderment.
Taiyaki's mom looked at him. "Are you okay, dear boy?"
Shio nodded. "Uh huh," his voice cracked a bit as he said, "I'm fi~ine."
Everyone slowly went back to eating. The little boy leaned close to the little girl and whispered, "Taiyaki's boyfriend is kinda strange."
The little girl shrugged and they both went back to eating.
Shio looked down at the plate in front of him. The fish was okay. They must have bought it from their local market place or something. He pinched a piece of it off with his chopsticks and ate it. "Wow! This is really good, Mrs. Taiyaki's mom!"
She blushed proudly. "Arigato!" -^_^-
"Yeah, our mom's a really good cook!" Koi the brother nodded to her.
Shio licked his lips, after all of those images, he wasn't going to let Taiyaki or her family down by not even trying it. The mother got up again to get the tea. Kettle in hand, she went around to each person and poured it for them. Shio smiled and nodded his thanks to her as he reached out to grab his cup. He touched the cup and got another vision. Everything was in black and white in it, he heard children talking. He must have been seeing the vision through someone elses eyes like in the last one. He turned his head and ran toward the sound of the voices. The very children who were sitting across from him at the table came into view. They were wearing clothes for hunting and they were stabbing at a sick and dying fox demon. It was too weak to get away now, and so it cried out in agony as they slowly stabbed him to death with weapons made of bones. Then as he came up to them, the children looked up at him. They were in complete black and white except for their eyes. Yes it was their eyes, that were as red as all the blood he saw in the previous visions. They smiled at him and the little girl held out her hand to him. "Come on Taiyaki! Help us kill it!"
"Alright, but then we gotta go home!" her voice answered. The person whose eyes he was seeing through drew a large bloody hunting knife and plunged it into the fox demon's chest as if it were a cooked turkey.
Shio came back into reality again. He looked across the table at the children who were ravenously eating the grilled salmon meat in front of them.
He looked at the brother who was tearing his salmon meat apart. Then to Taiyaki who looked like she had an orgy in her mouth until she swallowed and took another bite of her fish. Then he turned toward the mother who looked up from her food at him and said concernedly, "Are you alright, young man? You look a bit pale?"
With a dizzying feeling, all the oxygen left Shio's brain. His eyes rolled back and he passed out on the floor.
-
Inu Yasha sat with his arms folded on the ledge of the well. He leaned his chin over them to look down into the bottom. No Kagome. With a deep sigh he sat back with his eyes closed in meditation pose sadly. There was a slight tug on the back of his kimono that caused him to lean back a little. His eyes opened alertly. What the-?
He glanced over his shoulder as a little clawed hand came up and gripped a handful of his haori jacket. Inu Onna's fluffy head popped up and her other arm came up with it to grab more of his jacket. She pulled herself up and sat on his shoulder, then slid off of it into his lap. "Oomph!" she yipped as she landed there. She climbed out and scampered behind him again. She climbed up his back, using his shirt for a ladder, sat on his shoulder, and slid into his lap again. Inu Yasha sweatdropped and gave her a flat annoyed look as she scuttled behind him to do it again. When she landed into his lap for the third time, he grabbed her by the foot and lifted her up by it. She looked at him annoyed but it didn't see to give her pain. "Uwa!" she barked at him.
"What do I look like, a slide??" ;;; he growled and set her down gently in the grass. She looked up at him over her shoulder in a girly little pout. All hanyo looks considered, the pout itself reminded him so much of Kagome when she was upset with him. He scowled back at her and they held each other's scowls for a few moments. Inu Onna looked to the side, a bit bored then looked down at his foot. She crawled over to him interestedly.
Inu Yasha saw her coming and scooted back a little suspiciously. "What? What are you doing no-"
She put her hands on each side of his foot and clamped her mouth over his big toe. She didn't bite it, but she sucked on it like a pacifier.
"Hey, hey, hey!" he pulled her off of his foot and held her up in front of him this time by her underarms. She swung her feet back and forth and looked at him with the pout. He just scowled back and said, "I'm not your pacifier either!"
"Eweh.." she whined and smacked her lips together.
"You're hungry??" he asked. "I'm not you're mom! Do I look like I can feed you?!" he glanced down at his flat chest then back up at her. He set her down in the grass and she looked down at the grass with puppy dog eyes. She remembered her mommy. Then she winced as her little stomach growled. Inu Yasha's scowl faded a little bit as he watched her. He sighed in annoyance and turned around so that his back faced her. He leaned forward and said, "Okay, climb on."
He felt her crawl across his back and cling to his shoulder. He stood up and began to walk toward the village.
Inu Onna sat on her hands and feet like a puppy and watched as Inu Yasha dug through the boxes of food Kagome had left behind the day before. He pulled out a box of powdered milk and began trying to read the back of the box. "Let's see….blah blah blah….vi-ta-mins A – D – good source of….with artificial….what IS this CRAP???"
Inu Onna climbed up on his back again and growled at the box menacingly.
Inu Yasha glanced at her, "They didn't actually try to feed this to you did they?" ;;;
Inu Onna yipped and growled at the box again.
Inu Yasha watched her then got an idea. He pointed at the box and said, "Bad box! Bad!!"
Inu Onna arfed excitedly.
Inu Yasha smirked and tossed it across the room. "That'll teach you! You stupid formula crap!"
"Meh!" Inu Onna said. She made a raspberry at the box.
Inu Yasha snickered then said, "Alright then! Let's go find you some real food."
"Eee!" ^_^ Inu Onna cheered. He stood up and walked outside.