:: Chapter Six: Scars ::
"I
can't hide behind this rough exterior that I've created over the years. I need
to be myself, just like you need to be free. We're in the same situation, we
playing a game that neither of us can win and the results of losing are
deadly." Draco said cynically.
"You think I don't know that? I was happy with my life! I enjoy teaching,
I love being at Hogwarts. I really don't want my life to end on someone else's
account. I want to make my own decisions. I wanted to have a wonderful life
with the perfect husband, children, job, house; I wanted everything. Is this a
punishment for my greed? Have I done something so sinful that my punishment is
death? Because if I have, I don't regret it for one minute."
"I don't believe you did anything wrong."
Hermione interrupted. "Except being born into a non-magical family. I
can't help who my parents are and I sure as hell can't help that I was chosen
out of hundreds of people to the one of the muggle-borns to be chosen to come
to Hogwarts. Nor that fact that I was put into Gryffindor. I don't make all of
my decisions. It's called fate and you can't change that, but this isn't my
fate, I'm not going to rot in a cellar while you dine like a king because I'm
dying." She added through gritted teeth. "I pray to god that you get
what's coming to you."
"What exactly is coming to me?"
"What you deserve. To die a horrible, painful death."
"I do deserve that, but isn't wishing those things on a person also worthy
of a similar fate."
"This isn't fate Draco! This is someone making our choices for us! Can't
you get that through your oversized arrogant head?"
"Oh I understand it alright. But what I want to know is why you won't just
give into what you believe, what you think."
"That is one of the more dangerous options."
"How?"
"Because if I speak my mind all the time I could get fired from my job,
looked down upon by my colleagues, and then maybe I could also get myself
killed."
"Then why have you been so open with me?"
"You're not going to kill me. You want to wait until Harry gets here and
then you're going to kill me in such a cruel way that he's going to be scarred
for life."
"Why would I want to give him another scar? So he can become more famous?
So that once again Harry Potter stands alone as the hero? I don't think
so."
"Emotional scars Draco, ones that don't heal. Ones that don't fade. You
said yourself you had emotional scars from the torture your father subjected
you to. Harry's only the hero because of people like you. Stop trying to kill
him, you can't win."
"I can win. And I will."
"Stop torturing yourself! You're setting unrealistic goals."
"How is it that a baby can survive the most powerful wizard ever? That
after years and years of attempts to kill him he's still alive?"
"It's called love. He's got enough people around him that protects him
from even the smallest paper cut because they care. If your group had that one
little thing you might be a heck of a lot stronger."
"That's never going to happen."
"Of course it's not. There are too many leaders and not enough followers.
I'm not trying to make you all stronger but I'm giving you, personally, advice.
After all, what are you going to do once all the aurors get on your case? Hand
yourself over to Azkaban?"
"Why would I hand myself over to Azkaban? That's a death sentence. I've
been there before and it's not a pleasant place to be."
"I don't know, you've been known to do stupid things."
"Like what?"
"Like getting yourself turned into a ferret. Like continuously challenging
Harry after you knew you couldn't win. Is that enough for you?"
"I didn't ask to be turned into a ferret. And I surely didn't ask to keep
losing to that. hero."
"Why do you keep calling him that?"
"Calling who what?"
"Harry. You keep calling him Hero."
"Well that's what he is isn't he?"
"Draco he didn't ask for any of this." She said exasperated.
"And I didn't ask for this Hermione. Can't he take the slightest bit of
defeat? I can't even beat him in Quidditch, let alone beat him outside of the
game."
"You can't expect him to want to lose to you. It's his life he's risking
with ever step he takes closer to failure."
"It's my life I risk losing too. People always think 'Aw poor Harry almost
got killed.' I get tortured because he comes out alive. Physical scars that I
have had since I was eleven Hermione. They don't fade."
"What am I supposed to say? Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? Harry is
my friend, and you are my enemy."
"That's all I am? Your enemy? Not your murder? Captor?"
"No. Enemy pretty much sums that all up."
"I don't want to be all those things." He said softly. "I want
to be normal."
"Normal? How can you be normal?"
"I don't know!" He sighed and ran his hands through his messy blonde
hair. "I just want to live life knowing that I won't be killed if I mess up."
"Nobody is really normal. I thought I was normal but it's not normal to be
tied up in a basement. Nor is it normal to be held captive by the one person
who can make me feel this vulnerable."
"Why do I make you vulnerable?"
"Because you have total control. I can't control my own actions anymore.
You're a puppet master and I'm your puppet."
"Didn't anyone ever tell you that you control your own actions?" He
asked.
"Once, but he's the one person that I don't think I can trust."
"And why is that?"
"Because he betrayed me. He got caught."
"Caught by what?"
"By himself. He told me that you need to think for yourself and yet he
ended up letting other people make his decisions for him. He was weak. It was
pathetic."
"I don't think you're one to talk about being pathetic."
"What?"
"You're stuck in a cold, dark basement with me and the only place to go
from here is straight to your death. Is that not being pathetic?"
"I will not die." She said through gritted teeth.
"It's so intriguing that you think you have a change." He laughed.
"You're wrong, you're always wrong and will always be wrong. Good will
prevail over evil and your Draco are the deepest evil ever."
"Evil eh?"
"You think you know evil? You think you know what it's like to be at the
hands of evil? Shall I just turn you over to my father now because lord knows
you can't be much more evil than that. thing."
"If you were to hand me over to him now Harry would find out that I'm dead
and this whole little plan of yours would be spoiled, over and done with. And
here you're trying to convince me you're the smart one."
"Since when have you been so sassy?"
"Since I found out that no matter what I say, no matter what I do, I'm
going to die and you're going to, once again, have blood on your hands."
"Isn't that a wonderful feeling?"
"Why do you insist on being so. ignorant?"
"I'm not being ignorant. It's called sarcasm."
"Ignorance is a sure sign of avoidance."
"Avoidance? Of what do you presume?"
"I'm not quite sure yet, but I will find out. Mark my words."
