Bitter

Walking into the kitchen the next day, Harry almost melted into a puddle on the floor with embarrassment. He realized his mistake instantly. After getting changed the previous night, he had left his trunk open. Open to a particularly embarrassing item.

"Gee, Harry. This is very interesting." The broad smile spreading across Lupin's face was sickening, and that made it all the worse.

He snatched it off of the table where it had lay. "What are you doing going in my trunk?" He barked angrily, making it obvious he was trying to cover up his mortification.

"It was just laying on the top. I wanted to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me."

"And, why, pray tell, did you take it out?"

"Jeez, Harry, don't get so edgy."

"I'll get as edgy as I damn well please! You stay out of my shit!"

"It's my house."

"You're holding me here like a fucking criminal. Do you think I knocked on the door and asked you to live here?"

Lupin raised his eyebrows. "Gee, I wouldn't think that such bad language would come from someone who still had a stuffed animal."

He wouldn't let himself blush, but it was a losing battle. "So what? I have a stuffed animal. It's my own fucking business."

"A bunny no less?"

He looked down at the rabbit still clutched in his hand. It was worn, and had a very poorly sewn patch on its stomach, and most noticeably, it had a scorch mark on one of the ears.

"I haven't touched my trunk in a while. I haven't thrown it out yet."

"You don't have to throw it out, Harry. You've had that thing since you were a baby."

"How do you know that?" He asked suspiciously. How much had he been spied on over the years?

"I remember when Sirius gave it to you."

Harry looked down again at the toy in his hand. Sirius had given this to him? He couldn't even remember when or where he had gotten this. He was pretty sure he had found it in a trunk in the Dursley's attic, but that could have been a dream. He used to be able to play up there until he accidentally found something he wasn't supposed to, and carried it around the house in front of his aunt. He could still remember how red her face had gotten when she saw it.

That was the first time he could remember being struck, and locked in his cupboard for more then two days. He had only been five-years-old.

"Your mum had your toy chest charmed to be indestructible. Still, you can see what happened to it."

He looked down again to the scorch on its ear. He didn't allow himself to get nostalgic over it. Not that he was ever nostalgic. It wasn't like there was much to remember that was good… or even non-traumatic.

"What ever. I don't care." He had quite a hard time letting it go though. Finally, he dumped it in the trash bin. He turned and saw the sad look on Lupin's face.

"Harry, you didn't have to do that… really. I'm sorry for bugging you about it." He pulled it out of trash, but by now it all ready had a banana peel stuck to it, and it would probably smell.

"I said, I don't want it." He said stoically, then he turned to get out of the kitchen.

"Harry." Lupin called, clearly regretful.

He sat down on the couch, and turned on the television.

He couldn't deny to himself that he had never actually planed on throwing away his stuffed rabbit. Maybe burying him at the bottom of his trunk, but it had been his first – and hell! only – toy growing up.

And Sirius had given it to him. He couldn't get that thought out of his head. He might have been cold and mean, and just an all-around little bastard, but he still missed his godfather terribly. He was pretty much the reason he was acting this way.

He wouldn't allow himself to miss it though. That went against his plan. Remember? If you remain nonchalant, you won't get hurt! But he was hurt…

He ate dinner that night without looking at Lupin.

Afterwards, over a cup of coffee, the only discussion they had was over what to watch.

"Come on, Harry, I want to watch the news."

"Why do you want to hear about that muggle shit? I really don't care if some idiot is out there raping people."

"I've watched the news every night since I taught at Hogwarts."

"Only because you have, like, five channels."

"So, you don't have anything better to watch anyways."

"Well, look at that, the news is already over. Now how about you get out of my bedroom."

With a sigh, Lupin retreated. He shook his head as he walked, muttering a contemplation of why he even bothered to try to help him. He was followed by a "You know, talking to yourself is the first signs insanity."

"I knew living with you would have its side effects." Came from the staircase.

He dug through his trunk to get out a fresh tee-shirt and boxers to sleep in and found his rabbit, clean, sewed so that you didn't notice it had ever had a hole in it, and without a scorch mark on it. It was his own rabbit, none the less. He put it back, not bothering to throw it out this time. Then he noticed the post it on the tail.

'it belonged to Sirius when he was a child.'

Notes: Yeah, I know. Corny chapter. I'm sorry. Angst is drying up, and we're moving towards a solution, so, I'm sorry if you're getting bored.

I've decided to start a livejournal, so that I'm not misleading you into believing it's a nice long chapter, and then seeing that there are half a dozen notes at the bottom. You'll find the link to it in my bio, and there I'll be answering reviews. I guess this means everyone is going to have to go get a look at it. If you're going to review me, do it with the blue button on the bottom of the screen, and not pressing the comments button on the bottom of my entry. That's only if you have a comment towards my comment. Sorry if that didn't make sense.