Bitter
He sat back in the car, breathing through his nose shakily. Lupin looked at him through the corner of his eye as he drove along.
"It doesn't look bad, Harry. Was it not what you were expecting?"
"Watch the fucking road."
"I think it looks fine."
"Shut it."
"If you don't like, you can always glamour it when you get back to Hogwarts."
"Will you shut the fuck up? The tattoo is fine! Jesus."
"Then what the hell is your problem? You got the bloody tattoo, what more do you want?"
"Pull over." His voice was quiet.
"Harry, where am I supposed to…"
"Pull over!"
Lupin wedged his fat little car into a tiny spot that he shouldn't have fitted into if not for magic or something like that.
"What is this about, Harry?"
He turned, and opened his mouth, but his courage failed him. Mouthing off, and bitching to people was one thing… talking about the stuff he was going to bring up was kind of disheartening.
"Come on, Harry. Just tell me."
"Never mind." He muttered.
"It's all right. You can talk to me. I'm not going to get upset."
"Do you… think he would have liked it?"
"Who-"
"Who do you think?" he fought hard to keep his voice from sounding harsh, because he wanted a real answer.
"Of course he would have. He told me he wanted to take you out for your- damn, your sixteenth, that's in two days isn't it?"
"What did he want?" he said, ignoring the question.
"He had wanted to take you out for your birthday to get you a tattoo, as a dog of course. He had been trying to arrange it for a while… I wasn't going to say anything though."
"Why the fuck not?" he asked angrily.
"Well, I didn't want you to feel like you should get it just to honor his memory or something stupid like that."
"You should have told me before! I would have gotten something different. A cross or something."
"Harry, I think your body might reject a cross."
"Fuck you."
"I guess this wouldn't be a good time to ask you what you would like for your birthday…"
"I guess asking you to die in a fiery explosion of some kind would just be setting myself up for disappointment."
"We could light some fireworks…"
Harry snorted.
"You think we can start driving again?"
He nodded, feeling a bit sheepish about making Lupin pull over so he could ask his corny little question.
"Shit, I forgot." He said, pulling out.
"What?" he growled
"The full moon. It falls on your birthday. I'm really sor-"
"Calm down, I'm not even celebrating it, whether you're fucking yourself up or not."
"It's your sixteenth, though. I would think that the fact that I won't be there would be reason enough to celebrate."
"You just don't get it do you?"
"What's not to get?"
"You think I have a personal problem with you? I hate everyone, it isn't just you. Hell, compared to everyone else, I almost like you."
"What about your friends?"
"Who, Ronny? Hermione?" his voice held a tone of mocking.
"They're your best friends. What's the problem with them?"
"Think they're going to like me now? Now that I'm acting like this?"
"They know you've been going through a lot, they'll probably understand."
"What, you think this is a stage? I'm just angry at the world for a little while? It'll pass, I'm sure." He said sarcastically.
"You think you're going to be forty years old and still cussing everyone off?"
"I think someone is going to shoot me before that."
"Well, that's a given."
"Kill or be killed? Hmm, I wonder… the most evil dark lord in all the world, and I'm, what, sixteen now, and angry at everyone, and thing, so… maybe I'll leave you my money and you can buy a Hummer in my honor."
Lupin looked at him with raised eyebrows.
"Damn, are you going to kill me for the insurance money now?"
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"I'm an angry, rebellious mother fucker, not a suicidal little bitch."
"Oh, there's a difference now?"
He pulled off his black sweatshirt covering his tattoo to reveal his chest. "Do you see cuts anywhere?"
"Yeah. All over your shoulders, and… ouch, that one on your chest looks pretty deep. Where did you get these?"
"Fights. My cousin thought he was real tough. He should have seen what I did to that little shit down the block."
"Did they provoke you?"
"I'm vicious, but I'm not sadistic."
"I'm going to take that as a yes. Yeah. Sirius use to get into tons of fights when he was your age, but he didn't pick any of them. God, how many times did I have to pull him back to stop him from killing one Slytherin or another. It was sort of a joke, how he turned out, among the Slytherins, especially when his brother arrived there."
To Harry, it sort of sounded like how he had been towards Ron up until now. Boy, how things had changed…
"I can see why he would be pretty angry."
"He didn't act like you do though. He valued friendship a lot more then that."
"I value friendship!" he said, suddenly on the defensive. "I'm just saying, they aren't going to like my attitude, and I'm not to going to start acting a fucking pussy just so that they like me."
"You ever think maybe your friends changed a bit over the summer too?"
"I guess I'll find out, huh?"
"I was around Ron for a lot of the time, at the order… he really isn't the same person anymore."
"Like… what do you mean?" he asked, just a tiny bit of concern seeping into his voice.
"He's snapping at everyone, like you are. He isn't cursing quite as much, but he's got a lot of anger. Hermione is just… she's really quite most of time, and she doesn't read much at all. Every time Ron starts with someone, she never says anything like she normally does."
"That's kind of strange…"
"You sure you don't want to celebrate your birthday?"
"Lupin, do I look like the kind of person who's going to celebrate their sixteenth birthday with a cake and birthday hats?"
"Maybe without the candles, you probably being some sort of pyro, but that wasn't how I celebrated mine…"
"Thank god you weren't a total reject at my age… what did you do, anyway?"
"Actually, to tell the truth, I think I got stoned as hell, and drunk to boot. That was, before your father, and godfather showed up, then they dragged me out somewhere and the rest is all a blur. I think they told me later that they took me out to a muggle nightclub, but I ended up getting so sick they had to take me home."
"You don't seem like the kind of person who can stomach alcohol that well." He told him. "Actually, for my birthday, I was thinking about going to a strip club, and getting drunk as fuck."
Lupin snorted. "Now that sounds like Sirius's sixteenth birthday." He smirked, as they pulled into the driveway. Surprisingly, Harry did as well.
"You might want to put some Vaseline to stop the itch, you know?"
"It isn't bothering me." He lied.
"Yeah, but it'll prevent crusting, and that's never good…"
"I thought that Vaseline made it fade though?"
"Common misconception, that. Just keep it clean, and try to keep it out of the sunlight." He told him. Harry mentally remembered to start wearing tee shirts outside.
"So, erm, you sure you're just going to stay home tomorrow?"
"You trust me in the house alone?"
"I figure I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."
"I can't say I'm not surprised."
"Why, should I reconsider? Am I going to come home to a trashed house, a you passed out drunk on the floor?"
"Of course not! How could you accuse me of such things?" He asked, blatantly sarcastic.
"Just the same I'll be locking the door to your room." Said Lupin, smiling; his eyes narrowed.
Notes: I wish I had time to respond to the reviews, but I really have something I'm doing tonight, and I didn't want you guys to wait any longer. PoL should be up soon as well. If you can't wait, read the teaser found in my LJ.