Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue. Besides, what would a corporate lawyer do with a spongebob key chain? (I don't own spongebob either.)
A/N: Because some (insert all kind of insults here) person made ff.net be fag, they erased my fic and account. So I post it again. Without chapter ten, the lemon. Yes, cry all you want, but it wont come back. Well at least not here. I let u know were will it be later on. The chapters are exactly the same, without the thank you because they would not make sense. (I am on the verge on killing my monitor, so be kind with me.)
I'm sorry the chapter turned out so short...
Mourning in Misery
Sesshoumaru's P.O.V.
´I see her exiting from my life as she quietly sobs in the violet carriage. This is certainly the most painful sight of my life. No amount of wounds, scars, battles or agonies compare to this. Not even summed up. The most precious thing in my life is leaving me. Her; that human girl that I found years ago, laying lifeless in the ground. Out of nowhere, I felt a strange tug in my cold heart, and decided to test the sword's power. I slashed the Girl's dead corpse with the tenseiga. When She revived, that spark, which I believed in me many years ago had died, breathed.
She followed me for days, no food, or any kind of attention. At first glance I though She was jus a mere human, pathetic and weak, like all others. But She had an amazing persistence, proving me wrong. The first nights, She was coy and didn't come close, but later on She lost all shyness and came close, even touched me, without any fear at all. She was unlike any human I had met before.
Jaken questioned me various times why were we letting that puny Human follow them. I never gave him, or myself, a clear answer. Why had I kept Her? Why didn't I leave Her behind, as I would have normally done? At first She was just a distraction, but then She became interesting. She did not fear me; Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands, whose name makes even the mightiest men shiver in panic... Feh. A mere little Girl had accomplished what full-grown men would never dream of.
That was the real reason. She did not see me as the fearsome youkai, but simply as the man who had saved her life. Even after learning the truth about me, She was still by mi side. I have never known such loyalty in my entire life and will never see such again. She had become a part of me, the reason for existence. I had become accustomed to those flowers in my room, the main room, the halls, EVERYWERE were those flowers. These reminded me every day that I was would see Her shining smile, which always gave me the strength I needed... She was always so kind to every one, no matter whom. It was like She had an infinite amount of kindness to contaminate everybody with.
How could I have let Her slip through my hands? How could I?!... Of course. I have only inspired a father figure to Her, for I was supposed to be Her example, Feh! What an example I was... Even if I tried, I will never make a good father. Not without Her by mi side anyway. But, what right do I have over Her to claim Her as my woman?! It would only ruin Her life. She will fare better under the care of her own kind. She will be happy with them, because She deserves it more than anyone in this world... The same way that I let Her in this castle, and made me happy, I let Her go, so She can have happiness for Herself. I let her go...
HER...
My sweet Rin...
... what fool I am.'
Rin's P.O.V
'As the carriage moves ahead, Sesshoumaru-sama becomes smaller and smaller. And I get farther and farther away from him. I wish I could stay...
But Sesshoumaru-sama was the one that didn't want me to stay, so I just can't. All because I am a stupid human!! Sesshoumaru-sama always took care of me... When I was scared, he would always protect me. But I can't protect him back!! I'm so useless!!
Sesshoumaru is so beautiful... His long, silver hair, flowing with the wind; his hands, always so strong, around me... Sesshoumaru-sama always smells so nice... And his eyes... those beautiful amber eyes... I wish I could hug him forever... he always makes me feel so good, no matter what. I wish he just could love me in return. ...But he won't, I am a human, and he is a youkai. That's all.
Besides, he only sees me as his 'little' Rin! He will never know that I really love him! That's why I said... I said... Aishiteru... Aishiteru, Sesshoumaru-sama!!! Why can't he see that...?
Oh, ...right. I'm not a youkai. Sesshoumaru-sama wants to have youkai puppies... his puppies... I wish I could have his puppies, but I can't. If I have his puppies, they would be hanyou puppies... And I'm not going to stop Sesshoumaru-sama from fulfilling his dream!! I would be so selfish of me...
NO!!! Stop Rin!! I will go with my family and let Sesshoumaru-sama have his own, even if its not with me... Just the though of Sesshoumaru-sama being with another... UGH!!! But I have to stay strong! If I go back, Sesshoumaru- sama will never have his youkai puppies! And I can't let that happen, now can't I? I'll just be nice little Rin and behave myself with my new family. ...But I will never see Sesshoumaru-sama ever again...'
Normal P.O.V.
All the memories of her with Sesshoumaru rolled like an old movie through her mind, and tears began to cloud Rin's already red eyes. The fact that she would never see Sesshoumaru ever again was a hard thought to digest. It made her feel like falling in an endless pit of pain, never reaching the bottom. More and more tears followed the previously shed ones as the strange carriage left the castle grounds, as fast as it came. Sesshoumaru watched silently, not moving an inch for hours to come.
Within the next weeks after Rin had left, All had changed in the castle. With Rin, left the high spirits, the laughter, the noise, the sweet flower scent all around. The castle had become once again a lifeless place, only stirred up by the lord's anger and frustration.
Jaken stood in front of the door of the master bedroom carrying a tray with Sesshoumaru's dinner, his hands shaking. Sesshoumaru had last eaten almost three weeks ago, some days after the girl left. Jaken was the one who had to make sure Sesshoumaru ate, because no one dared to do so, and it was his duty as a loyal vassal. That was what Rin would have done anyway. Jaken treasured greatly his memories of Rin; since after she had left all had been constant chaos. Even though Sesshoumaru didn't need it to do so as much as humans, he still had to eat. Jaken knocked the door, panicked. After waiting a while, the Lord still had not answered, and the small toad found himself forced to knock again.
Jaken raised his hand once again, but just when he was about to knock, Sesshoumaru's voice thundered from inside the wide door. "Come in."
Jaken pushed the door, revealing the condition of the bedroom inside. The once immaculate room caressed by the moonlight was a complete and absolute disaster. The bamboo-framed rice paper doors were torn, one had a punched hole in it and was a total ruin, and the other door was missing altogether; some old dirty drapes blocked the sunlight from trespassing into the dark retreat. His mini study was completely worn to shreds, some of the books scattered through the room or incomplete by destruction. Claws now ripped the once soft curtain that marked his closet. His once majestic bed had now lost its entire luster, the wood's gloss and the golden droplets that decorated the pillars were now faded, in its place rested now and old, worn out bed. The sheets and pillows that were once white had been managed to be changed some times, but the color that remained was pitch black. Sesshoumaru sat beside the bed, still in his nightgown, also black. His silver hair was darkened under the shadows of the gloomy bedroom.
"Se—Sesshoumaru-sama... y—y—your lunch is ready." Jaken's voice trembled at the terrorizing picture.
"Leave it by the door." Sesshoumaru's voice was hoarse. He did not even bother to look at his servant.
"P—Please Master, eat your food, you are risking your health," Jaken said, gaining up his courage. Then, he uttered to himself, loud enough for the youkai lord to hear, "Miss Rin would not have wanted you so..." Jaken wanted to manipulate his master into reason, but he did not see Sesshoumaru's brutal reaction coming.
When Sesshoumaru heard his beloved's name pronounced, his senses jolted, petrifying the small toad. Although Sesshoumaru did not move, his response was dauntingly enough to make any creature tremble. Sesshoumaru tuned his head, his gaze fixed on Jaken. Streaks of his silver mane shone in the darkness as his eyes turned bloody red. He was enraged, a dark crimson aura being emitted from his body.
"None of you, insignificant servants, shall ever speak her name! You are all unworthy of it's purity!! Now, Jaken, get out of my sight before I RIP YOU TO SHREDS!" Sesshoumaru barked at the greenish toad that instantly fled from the dim room.
6 months had passed since the girl's leave, when the toad youkai, Jaken, fell deathly ill. Sesshoumaru never leaved his gloomy retreat, not even to attend to the toad's funeral, which had been his loyal servant and vassal for so many years. Realizing how devastated the castle itself had been, self pity began to form part of his newly found emotions, if they could be called that way. Desperation was overcoming him.
Sesshoumaru's face, even hidden in the obscurity of the room, could not hide the small tears that were being shed. Without any doubt, the youkai lord was a complete wreck without the little girl that had kept his existence balanced.
After that dreadful day, Sesshoumaru began rebuilding the barrier that Rin had merely begun to knock down.
End of Chapter Five
A/N: kumi: do not worry, my loyal readers, the story will eventually be less goomy. And, I know; sesshoumaru-sama IS miserable!!! And I will contiue to-- BANG (Sesshoumaru throws her a bucket of clams in the head, "Oh, SHUT UP!")
JUST REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A/N: Because some (insert all kind of insults here) person made ff.net be fag, they erased my fic and account. So I post it again. Without chapter ten, the lemon. Yes, cry all you want, but it wont come back. Well at least not here. I let u know were will it be later on. The chapters are exactly the same, without the thank you because they would not make sense. (I am on the verge on killing my monitor, so be kind with me.)
I'm sorry the chapter turned out so short...
Mourning in Misery
Sesshoumaru's P.O.V.
´I see her exiting from my life as she quietly sobs in the violet carriage. This is certainly the most painful sight of my life. No amount of wounds, scars, battles or agonies compare to this. Not even summed up. The most precious thing in my life is leaving me. Her; that human girl that I found years ago, laying lifeless in the ground. Out of nowhere, I felt a strange tug in my cold heart, and decided to test the sword's power. I slashed the Girl's dead corpse with the tenseiga. When She revived, that spark, which I believed in me many years ago had died, breathed.
She followed me for days, no food, or any kind of attention. At first glance I though She was jus a mere human, pathetic and weak, like all others. But She had an amazing persistence, proving me wrong. The first nights, She was coy and didn't come close, but later on She lost all shyness and came close, even touched me, without any fear at all. She was unlike any human I had met before.
Jaken questioned me various times why were we letting that puny Human follow them. I never gave him, or myself, a clear answer. Why had I kept Her? Why didn't I leave Her behind, as I would have normally done? At first She was just a distraction, but then She became interesting. She did not fear me; Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands, whose name makes even the mightiest men shiver in panic... Feh. A mere little Girl had accomplished what full-grown men would never dream of.
That was the real reason. She did not see me as the fearsome youkai, but simply as the man who had saved her life. Even after learning the truth about me, She was still by mi side. I have never known such loyalty in my entire life and will never see such again. She had become a part of me, the reason for existence. I had become accustomed to those flowers in my room, the main room, the halls, EVERYWERE were those flowers. These reminded me every day that I was would see Her shining smile, which always gave me the strength I needed... She was always so kind to every one, no matter whom. It was like She had an infinite amount of kindness to contaminate everybody with.
How could I have let Her slip through my hands? How could I?!... Of course. I have only inspired a father figure to Her, for I was supposed to be Her example, Feh! What an example I was... Even if I tried, I will never make a good father. Not without Her by mi side anyway. But, what right do I have over Her to claim Her as my woman?! It would only ruin Her life. She will fare better under the care of her own kind. She will be happy with them, because She deserves it more than anyone in this world... The same way that I let Her in this castle, and made me happy, I let Her go, so She can have happiness for Herself. I let her go...
HER...
My sweet Rin...
... what fool I am.'
Rin's P.O.V
'As the carriage moves ahead, Sesshoumaru-sama becomes smaller and smaller. And I get farther and farther away from him. I wish I could stay...
But Sesshoumaru-sama was the one that didn't want me to stay, so I just can't. All because I am a stupid human!! Sesshoumaru-sama always took care of me... When I was scared, he would always protect me. But I can't protect him back!! I'm so useless!!
Sesshoumaru is so beautiful... His long, silver hair, flowing with the wind; his hands, always so strong, around me... Sesshoumaru-sama always smells so nice... And his eyes... those beautiful amber eyes... I wish I could hug him forever... he always makes me feel so good, no matter what. I wish he just could love me in return. ...But he won't, I am a human, and he is a youkai. That's all.
Besides, he only sees me as his 'little' Rin! He will never know that I really love him! That's why I said... I said... Aishiteru... Aishiteru, Sesshoumaru-sama!!! Why can't he see that...?
Oh, ...right. I'm not a youkai. Sesshoumaru-sama wants to have youkai puppies... his puppies... I wish I could have his puppies, but I can't. If I have his puppies, they would be hanyou puppies... And I'm not going to stop Sesshoumaru-sama from fulfilling his dream!! I would be so selfish of me...
NO!!! Stop Rin!! I will go with my family and let Sesshoumaru-sama have his own, even if its not with me... Just the though of Sesshoumaru-sama being with another... UGH!!! But I have to stay strong! If I go back, Sesshoumaru- sama will never have his youkai puppies! And I can't let that happen, now can't I? I'll just be nice little Rin and behave myself with my new family. ...But I will never see Sesshoumaru-sama ever again...'
Normal P.O.V.
All the memories of her with Sesshoumaru rolled like an old movie through her mind, and tears began to cloud Rin's already red eyes. The fact that she would never see Sesshoumaru ever again was a hard thought to digest. It made her feel like falling in an endless pit of pain, never reaching the bottom. More and more tears followed the previously shed ones as the strange carriage left the castle grounds, as fast as it came. Sesshoumaru watched silently, not moving an inch for hours to come.
Within the next weeks after Rin had left, All had changed in the castle. With Rin, left the high spirits, the laughter, the noise, the sweet flower scent all around. The castle had become once again a lifeless place, only stirred up by the lord's anger and frustration.
Jaken stood in front of the door of the master bedroom carrying a tray with Sesshoumaru's dinner, his hands shaking. Sesshoumaru had last eaten almost three weeks ago, some days after the girl left. Jaken was the one who had to make sure Sesshoumaru ate, because no one dared to do so, and it was his duty as a loyal vassal. That was what Rin would have done anyway. Jaken treasured greatly his memories of Rin; since after she had left all had been constant chaos. Even though Sesshoumaru didn't need it to do so as much as humans, he still had to eat. Jaken knocked the door, panicked. After waiting a while, the Lord still had not answered, and the small toad found himself forced to knock again.
Jaken raised his hand once again, but just when he was about to knock, Sesshoumaru's voice thundered from inside the wide door. "Come in."
Jaken pushed the door, revealing the condition of the bedroom inside. The once immaculate room caressed by the moonlight was a complete and absolute disaster. The bamboo-framed rice paper doors were torn, one had a punched hole in it and was a total ruin, and the other door was missing altogether; some old dirty drapes blocked the sunlight from trespassing into the dark retreat. His mini study was completely worn to shreds, some of the books scattered through the room or incomplete by destruction. Claws now ripped the once soft curtain that marked his closet. His once majestic bed had now lost its entire luster, the wood's gloss and the golden droplets that decorated the pillars were now faded, in its place rested now and old, worn out bed. The sheets and pillows that were once white had been managed to be changed some times, but the color that remained was pitch black. Sesshoumaru sat beside the bed, still in his nightgown, also black. His silver hair was darkened under the shadows of the gloomy bedroom.
"Se—Sesshoumaru-sama... y—y—your lunch is ready." Jaken's voice trembled at the terrorizing picture.
"Leave it by the door." Sesshoumaru's voice was hoarse. He did not even bother to look at his servant.
"P—Please Master, eat your food, you are risking your health," Jaken said, gaining up his courage. Then, he uttered to himself, loud enough for the youkai lord to hear, "Miss Rin would not have wanted you so..." Jaken wanted to manipulate his master into reason, but he did not see Sesshoumaru's brutal reaction coming.
When Sesshoumaru heard his beloved's name pronounced, his senses jolted, petrifying the small toad. Although Sesshoumaru did not move, his response was dauntingly enough to make any creature tremble. Sesshoumaru tuned his head, his gaze fixed on Jaken. Streaks of his silver mane shone in the darkness as his eyes turned bloody red. He was enraged, a dark crimson aura being emitted from his body.
"None of you, insignificant servants, shall ever speak her name! You are all unworthy of it's purity!! Now, Jaken, get out of my sight before I RIP YOU TO SHREDS!" Sesshoumaru barked at the greenish toad that instantly fled from the dim room.
6 months had passed since the girl's leave, when the toad youkai, Jaken, fell deathly ill. Sesshoumaru never leaved his gloomy retreat, not even to attend to the toad's funeral, which had been his loyal servant and vassal for so many years. Realizing how devastated the castle itself had been, self pity began to form part of his newly found emotions, if they could be called that way. Desperation was overcoming him.
Sesshoumaru's face, even hidden in the obscurity of the room, could not hide the small tears that were being shed. Without any doubt, the youkai lord was a complete wreck without the little girl that had kept his existence balanced.
After that dreadful day, Sesshoumaru began rebuilding the barrier that Rin had merely begun to knock down.
End of Chapter Five
A/N: kumi: do not worry, my loyal readers, the story will eventually be less goomy. And, I know; sesshoumaru-sama IS miserable!!! And I will contiue to-- BANG (Sesshoumaru throws her a bucket of clams in the head, "Oh, SHUT UP!")
JUST REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!