A Father's Sins, A Father's Sons: Kim Kaphwan
Midnight, and shadows dance a macabre waltz in the moonlight.
None should be here now. It is the witching hour, a time of deepest dread and darkest horror, a moment when the dead shall walk amongst the living.
Yet even now, the living walk amongst the dead in SouthtownCemetery.
He stands by the grave, shrouded in night and shadows, wearing it as uneasily as the ill-fitting trenchcoat that drapes over his shoulders. And his eyes fall upon the two letters that have been left beneath the angel. There is no need to read their contents; he knows their writers all too well.
He should not be here – no, he should. It has been a long year for everyone, and the longest for him. He has witnessed it all: tears, sorrow, the slow crawl from the ashes back to a semblance of normalcy. Life goes on for everyone… unless you're dead.
He reaches into his pocket and withdraws a third envelope, handling it gently in the darkness. He has reached Hecate's crossroads; now he must choose. Shall he walk down the path of death, to be lost to everyone forever, or shall he turn back from the road he has walked the past year?
He tosses his envelope down with its two companions: his decision is made.
So it's been a year already… and yet, time doesn't make it any easier to forget the pain. The scars remain, and so do the fears.
I'm sorry for all the pain I've put our family through this past year. I hate myself for having to abandon you, to have to disappear and then subject you to the pain of loss. If only you knew how I've been watching over you all this while, how terrible I felt as I watched our family suffer from the despair that ate away at its foundations. I wanted so desperately to return, to comfort you and say how sorry I was for leaving you. But I couldn't.
That murderer… when I went off to fight him, I was only concerned about bringing the man to justice, confident that I had the might and the right to take him down. I had no inkling that the enemy I fought was no longer human, that he only bore the form of a man – a mockery of the humanity that we possessed. I never knew… not until I looked into those eyes.
And there was a dark soul reflected in those windows – a bleak emptiness, as black as the pits of Hell. And this murderer would have swallowed thousands of souls in order to satisfy his hunger, if that devouring desire could ever be sated. I stared into the eyes of the madman, and saw only Death there. For once, I felt an emotion that I thought had been lost long before… fear.
And at that point, I was lost.
Only one thing kept me alive after that fight: the desire to see the family again. But that monster had broken my spirit and destroyed the very foundations that I had built our lives upon. The right was mine – I knew that well enough to take that murderer on. But in the end, righteousness was not enough to defeat that evil. The might failed me.
So I was wrong all along, wasn't I? Justice doesn't always triumph; the good guys don't always win. "My strength is as the strength of ten, because my heart is pure" – it didn't help at all. If there was one thing I knew then, it was that I was too weak. I was completely incapable of protecting you, or defending the ones I loved. So I ran away: Kim Kaphwan, the coward.
I couldn't come back. Selfishly, I thought only of my reputation: the memory of a brave man is much better than the ranting of a senile old fool, clinging on to his scraps of reflected glory. But more importantly, I feared for your safety. If I could no longer protect you, then what would I do when that murderer came back to finish the job? I thought that by faking my death, Freeman would give up the chase. And he did.
But I couldn't leave the family. And so, while you slowly picked up the pieces of your shattered lives, I was left watching from the shadows, unable to console you. I raged against my impotence, frustrated at my inability to be there when you needed me.
Then, there was the tournament.
I panicked when I learnt of the two entries in the competition, of how you boys entered to avenge my death and bring Freeman to justice. I broke your mother's heart by running away – I would be damned if I let you two hurt her again on my account. But the two of you surprised me. And as the tournament progressed, I saw my two sons battle with a fighting spirit that would have done any man proud. You didn't let me down.
But it was when you defeated Freeman that I found the answer that I had sought all this while; for indeed, I had placed too little faith in my children. Now, I knew that I could finally return, and leave the safety of my family, and even that of the town, in better hands.
Jae Hoon, I'm glad that you've decided to follow in my footsteps. Don't despair like I did. The victory of justice is not a sure thing; nevertheless, it only means that we have to fight harder to ensure that we win… no matter what the cost. You've done well, and I have no qualms about you. I leave justice's torch in your hands.
Dong Hwan, you won't hear me nagging at you any more. I'll not force you to go down the road I've taken; what matters is that you hold on to what is important. But remember that if you intend to enjoy your freedom, you have to be prepared to fight for it in order to maintain that ease. Don't get too cocky.
Myun… It's been a lonely year for both of us. I'm sorry for having put you through all of this, and I can only hope to make amends to the best of my ability.
I'm coming home.
He brings his foot down hard onto the tombstone, reducing the marker to dust with a single blow. It no longer serves its purpose, marking a spot of mourning for a man who was never there. And as he turns back towards the town, he can see the streetlights shining through the night, guiding his return to the realm of the living.
The lights lead homeward.
Notes: Bleh. This has probably been the most uninspired of all my fics thus far. Apologies to all readers who may be offended by the peculiar characterisation. For the purposes of this fic, the Kims have been settled in Second Southtown, and I have hazarded a possible name for the girl in the pink gi (Jun).
Comments, corrections and constructive criticism are welcomed.
Credit goes to Yagami (a.k.a. Organised Kaos) for the pre-read. Thanks.