Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter, nor do we own some of the quotes, some of which belong to Mike Myers winky bows…ale stares and to respective television shows.

A/N: If anyone would like to be emailed when we update, just let us know in a REVIEW!! (heh heh…cheap way to get reviews….i know) and ale will email you when we do.

Also….thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews!!!! We love them so much!!!! They make us happy!!!!! We love you!!!!! And btw… skjfbgb-draco is being chased by a gay asshole…so a d/hr or d/g relationship would be a lil difficult…sry….BUT THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!! WE LOVE YOU!!! WE HAVE 20 REVIEWS!! (yes that sounds pathetic, but to us, its really really great!! J ) THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!

Chapter 4:

Mer Man!! Man From the Sea!!

Meanwhile…

Harry and Ginny, hand in hand, ran to the kitchens...but on the way, they stopped to chat.

"So…..Harry…How's life?" Ginny asked.

"Uhh...s'good i suppose…I can't complain," he replied, nonchalantly.

"Oh!! I just remembered!! Did you hear about that escaped gazelle from the zoo?" Ginny questioned.

"Uhh…..no, I don't think I did..…Is that bad?" Harry asked.

"Oh, yeah! It was running around and setting people on fire with its heat vis-…"

Just then Harry and Ginny were knocked down by a blurred figure.

"Oww! What the bloody hell was that?" Harry yelled.

Just then Dumbledore turned around and came back toward them at high speed.

"Whoooooo! Whoooooo! I am the ghost of Christmas nothing! Whoooo! I am sooo coooool! Gooooo Dumbledore!!!!" He proceeded to do a lil jiggy dance and to do the cabbage patch.

Dumbledore then glided away, looking for the other unsuspecting players, and doing that damn "whoooo".

Harry and Ginny continued down the corridor, but were stopped at the entrance to the kitchen corridor by a giant frog that jumped out at them and spoke to them in a mystic voice, while playing a ukulele.

"Thou shalt not cross unless thou can answer my questions three.…" the frog then raised its eyebrows, pursed its mouth and moved his head in a circle with an inquiring look on his face.

"Err…ok?…" Harry replied.

"Very good. My first question is, and if thou shalt get two questions wrong, thou shalt never pass into ye corridor…Very well then…..My first questioneth iseth: Where are you?" The toad gave another inquiring, and intimidating look.

"Aw, damn. I'm not really sure, but I'll take a stab in the dark….Never-never land?" Harry guessed.

"Muahaha…...NO!! Thou art wrongeth!! And my old-English is patheticeth!! The correcteth answereth is Hogwarts!!" The toad smiled maliciously.

Harry and Ginny looked at each other, both with looks of astonishment on their faces, and shrugged their shoulders.

"Thou hast one striketh. Moving on…My next questioneth is: What was the middle name of the third king in the longest running monarchy in France?" The toad, once again, smiled wickedly.

Harry snorted. "Are you kidding me? That's an easy one!! Everyone knows that!!"

Ginny nodded her head in agreement and Harry continued. "It's Susie!! Duh!!" Harry and Ginny both smiled triumphantly and high fived each other.

"Very well. Thou hast answered one questioneth correcteth and one questioneth wrongeth. Now for the last question. What is your favorite color?" The toad cackled evilly, with a (once again) wicked grin on his face.

Harry pondered this a moment, then said "I'm gonna have to go with cerulean blue…no!! melon.…wait!! chartreuse.…you know, I've always had a soft spot for tickle-me pink..."

Ginny cut him off and said "Well, my favorite color is lime green, and it really depends on who you are asking, so if you could just step aside, and let us through please?" she said, gesturing with her hand for the toad to move aside.

The toad cried. Then he walked through the wall, dragging his ukulele behind him, apparently upset they had managed to get past him.

Ginny and Harry continued down to the kitchens. As they walked, they heard a blood-curdling scream. Harry quivered in fear and Ginny jumped in front of him to protect him.

Just then, they saw a screaming Malfoy run into the dungeons with Hagrid hot on his tail. They continued to stare and a moment later Malfoy and Hagrid were followed by Dumbledore.

"WHOOOOOOO WHOOOOO WHOOOOO! FEAR ME FEEBLE LIVE ONES! I AM THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENTS! NO PRESENTS FOR YOU! WHOOOOOO!" he screamed at the top of his lungs as he chased Hagrid and Draco.

Ginny and Harry stood there with their mouths hanging open. Ginny was shocked and Harry could only manage "Rrrrriiiiiggggghhhhhtttttt".

"Whatever…let's go," Ginny said and furnished Harry a leash and pulled him down the hallway.

When Ginny tickled the pear at the entrance to the kitchens, Harry hid behind her.

"Harry, what the hell are you doing?" Ginny said, confused.

"I'm uhhh…..uhh...honestly….do you really want to know?"

Ginny nodded.

"Well, lately, when I come down here...Dobby has been acting strangely. Stranger than usual anyways. He's been talking like Mike Tyson….all high pitched and junk. And he's acting….well...how to put this? Faggish.

Just then, the portrait swung open, and Dobby stood in the entrance, with a sly grin on his face and a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh, helloooooo Harry Potter!! Dobby is just so overjoyed that Harry Potter is here!! Dobby is having the worst dilemma!! Dobby can't decide if Dobby should wear the pink skirt or the purple one. What does Harry Potter think?" Dobby looked up at him as he held two skirts, and then gazed at Harry's costume. "My, that color looks ravishing on you, darling!"

Harry grimaced and ducked behind Ginny, when he had an idea. In order to scare the fag away he grabbed Ginny by the waist, dipped her down, and snogged her...he snogged her rotten baby, yeah!

Dobby's eyes grew wide in horror, then began to fill with tears. "But, but, Harry Potter sir! Dobby thought that Harry Potter had feelings for little Dobby!! Dobby is heartbroken!! Oh, woe is...Dobby!!" Dobby cried.

Dobby sobbed and fled down the hallway screaming, holding the pink and purple skirts in his hands. "Dobby thought that Harry Potter understood Dobby and was like him!! Dobby shall never love again!!"

Harry and Ginny were still snogging but broke away and looked just in time to see Dobby be tackled by Dumbledore.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOO! WHOOOOOOO! DAMNIT! BE SCARED! I'M TRYING! GIVE ME SOME FRIGGIN CREDIT! I'M NOT A REAL GHOST! WHOOOOOOOO!"

"Dobby is sorry master!! But Dobby is heartbroken!! Harry Potter does not love Dobby as Dobby loves him, sir!!" Dobby peered up at Dumbledore with watery eyes. "But Dobby must admit that master does look good in crushed velvet. Dobby will always be of help if master is in need of his…services.…" Dobby then winked up at Dumbledore.

"Um, thank you Dobby…er….I'll get back to you on that….don't call me, I'll call you.…" Dumbledore replied, then promptly turned on his heel, and ran away, screaming.

"WHOOOOOO!!!! FEAR ME DAMNIT!!!! WHOOOOOO!!!!!!"

Ginny looked up at Harry with pink cheeks and a smile on her face, and he said, through clenched teeth, "….I...AM….NOT...GAY!!!!!"

"Of course not, we all know that," Ginny replied and then, to Harry's surprise, kissed him on the cheek. (A/N: all together now-AWWWWWW)

Harry giggled insanely and Ginny picked him up, threw him over her shoulder, and toted him into the kitchens. They looked around for a while before they saw a house elf with a large blue paw print on its forehead! Dun na na!

"Ginny, look!! A clue!! A clue!!" Harry exclaimed, jumping up and down and pointing at the house elf.

"How can you tell, Harry?" Ginny asked.

"Because he has a blue paw print on him!! Duh!!" Harry said with a huge grin. "We need our handy-dandy notebook!!" He then proceeded to pull a notebook out of his pocket with a picture of a Gryffindor armchair on the front, pulled a crayon out of the spiral of the notebook, and drew the house-elf.

"Well, that's our first clue, kids. Now we just need two more clues and then we go to our...THINKING CHAIR!!" Harry said, apparently speaking to some unknown audience in the general direction of the table. (A/N: I said respective TV shows, not respectable.).

Harry then looked at Ginny with his wide smile, and she just stared at him in shock, before saying "Rrrrrriiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhtttttt…moving right along..."

Before they left, they got a hefty supply of chocolate as a snack to help them on their quest.

Ginny and Harry emerged from the kitchens in a chocolate high! Whoooo! Chocolate! But they screamed at the sight that lay before them....

There in the hallway lay Dumbledore, him and his saggy skinned self, wearing a coconut bra and with a fin.

Harry retched. Ginny retched also. Then Harry retched again after watching Ginny retch. Just then, Hermione and Ron also appeared in the hallway. Ron laughed hysterically in his drunken stupor.

"Look, love! A merman!" he slurred. He then proceeded to fall on the floor and convulse in laughter.

Dumbledore jumped up and waved his hands hysterically in the air.

"MER MAN!!!!! MAN FROM THE SEA!!!!! FEAR ME!!!!!" (A/N: A comedian did the merman thing on Conan O'Brien once and i laughed until I almost soiled myself and I lie there convulsing in tears and laughter...you see? I am insane).

Dumbledore then rose and took off down the hallways yelling obscenities in Klingon.

Harry, Hermione, and Ginny all stared at each other in shock, but Ron simply looked at Hermione lovingly and said, "You're hair, it's so shiny, and…and poofy…..can I touch it?"

With that, he reached out and began to pet Hermione's head. She gave him an odd look, and then punched him.

A/N: Ok…this is ale this time…so that's the end of the fourth chapter. Hope you liked it!! J

SO REVIEW!! Please? I really really really really like reviews…they make me all giddy and happy like…so…yeah….review!! And let us know what you thought!! And don't forget, if you wanna be put on the email list to be emailed about updates, just REVIEW and let us know!! Uhh….have a nice day…..or something….

Don't forget to review J