A/N: we are sooooooo terribly utterly sorry and we grovel to you, our
beloved readers. You see, my co-author and I have started school(bleagh)
about 5 weeks ago and have not had a spare moment since because we are both
in the honors school and get a shitload of work...so we are really really
really really really really really really really really sorry!!!!!! Please
forgive us!!!!! And review!!!!! We love you so much!!!!! Muah!!!.enjoy!
Disclaimer: we don't own nething you recognize
Chapter 5
The punches seemed to have begun to bounce off Ron. Cause he just kept laughing like he didn't realize she like slugged him. It was like he had a thick layer of rubber on his face. Harry ran up to Ron.
"Let's see who you really are, Mr......." Harry proceeded to pull off Ron's face. "Why it's old man Whithers the guys who owns the haunted amusement park!"
Ginny grabbed Harry around the waist, "Good one, Shaggy." Old man Whithers looked mad and he pulled off his face to reveal Ron.
Ron slurred in his anger, "Geez you guys! Didn't you ever think that a person could wear two masks! It was me all the time! Gosh!" Everyone stared. Hermione just went up and bitch slapped him.
"Well normal people don't wear two masks, retard!"
Ron then proceeded to cry and looked at Hermione and said "m'sry ma'am...." He put on his best puppy-dog face and whimpered.
Hermione just looked at him and said "Shut up you mangy mutt!! You're sad face sucks ass!!" Then stomped off.
Ron watched her walk away, then turned to Harry and Ginny, smiling smugly, and said "Oh yeah.....she wants me......" then ran after Hermione.
Ginny and Harry just stared at each other, then skipped off following the yellow floor tiles, while singing "We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz...We hear he is a wiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was....if ever or whever a wiz there was...the wizard of oz is one because....because because because because BECAUSE.....because of the wonderful things he does!!!" that led them to......dun na na......THE GREAT HALL!!
As they entered the Great Hall, they both stopped in their tracks in fear. "Dear god.......that is the scariest thing I've ever seen...I'm scarred for life...." Ginny whispered in a strained voice.
"What?" Harry asked, "the stay-puff marshmallow man eating that house-elf a la mode?"
"No!!!" Ginny whispered, horrified, "that other thing...."
"What?" he asked again, "those ice-dancing gorillas in spandex with miniature harps?"
"NO!!!" Ginny whispered again, "next to the ice-dancing gorillas in spandex with miniature harps!!"
"OH DEAR GOD!!!!!!" Harry shouted, "MY EYES!!! THEY BURN!!!!!! HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?!?!?! IN HOGWARTS?!?!?! JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IN A DIAPER SERENADING PROFESSOR SNAPE?!?!?! WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?!?!?! IS THERE NO JUSTICE?!?! NO MERCY?!?!?!" Harry then promptly collapsed and Ginny went to go get some much needed alcohol and weed.
Fred and George came around the corner to find Ginny and Harry rolling joints in the hall with their parchment. "Ginny, dear, what are you doing?"
Ginny jumped in astonishment cause she didn't hear them come up. She recovered quickly and put on her innocent face and said, "Harry and I are writing down the clues we've found."
Fred came up and got in her face and said, "I hear you're not using your paper for writing, but for ROLLING DOOBIES!!! AND THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF TIME FOR DOOBIE ROLLING, WHEN YOU'RE LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!" Harry, who was already wasted, looked at Fred in a half-sleepy, half- shocked, and half-maniacal way.
George came up and slapped Harry. "That's three halves, bitch! Get it right!"
"Sorry man......whooooa.....yeah.....hey........you wanna have some o' this macaroni. This is some goooood shit dawg......" Harry slurred.
"No way dude," George replied "I don't smoke that shit....that stuff is weak....." He then whipped out an apple and ate it. "Now that's the shit, man.......whoooooa dude..." George got a glazed look, and then became panicked, looking around frantically at Fred, Ginny, and Harry. "We have to go!!!!! They're coming!!!!!!! THE THREE-LEGGED AQUAMARINE ICE CREAM SHOOTING ELEPHANTS ARE COMING!!!!!!! RUUUUUUUN!!!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" George took off down the corridor, Fred shrugged, and followed.
Ginny and Harry looked at each other, struggling to open their eyes, and sneezed.
Meanwhile.....
Ron and Hermione were walking through the corridors, going to the next site of their clue. Hermione saw an oddly placed coffee maker, and went and poured two cups. "Here," she said to Ron, while holding out a cup, "drink it."
Ron, still drunk, took it and managed to only get half of it in his mouth. "Gawd I love chicken wine!!" he exclaimed, finishing his cup. Hermione rolled her eyes, and went to pour him another cup. After his fourth cup, Ron was finally somewhat sober and thinking straight.
Ron looked around him, "Where the hell am I?", he mumbled. Hermione just rolled her eyes and slapped him. Ron cried.
"Eh my gaw, Ron!! I completely forgot that I have something sooooo important to tell you!! See, this summer at band camp."
Ron turned and stared at Hermione, "That reminds me of a story that is in no way related. I really wish I had a dancing monkey. He would wear a little vest and a fez. I would have a little music box that plays Bohemian Rhapsody and I would crank it and he would dance. I would dress like Dieter from Sprockets and I would call him Heindrick. I would look at him and go 'come hither, Heindrick' and he would scurry over and jump onto my shoulder. Then I would send him to go dance and he would jump around and people would give him tips. Yes. It is one small step towards my total conquer of the world!!! mwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! mwahahahahahahahahaha!!! mwahahahahahahahaha!!! mwahahaha! mwahaha! mwaha! There....it passed" Hermione glared at Ron.
"Bitch...do not interrupt me in a conversation because I would not do it to you!" Hermione slapped Ron. Ron cried.
"Come on, dumbass, we gotta get to our next clue," Hermione said.
She then said to him "Come!! Let us dance like children of the night!!" and leaped away, with Ron trying to dance like a child of the night, but failing, following behind her.
On their way, the saw a coconut tree growing out of the wall. Ron stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the tree in awe, before he began to take coconuts off the tree, and sat them in a row. Sitting down in front of his new coconut friends, he began to sing a new song. "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedaleedee....there they are standing in a row, bum bum bum.....big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!!"
Ron gazed upon his new coconut friends with tears in his eyes, "They are sooooo.......beautiful!" He picked up a large one and gave it a hug...he then found a lipstick on the floor and used it to draw a little cat face on the coconut. "Hermione look! It's a kitty cat!", he looked at the coconut "I want chicken.....I want liver...meow mix meow mix....please deliver"
"SHUT UP!!!!!!" Hermione lost it. Not only did she slap him, she kicked him in the balls. The pain was so intense he found the need to blow chunks, vomit, cascade, barf, honk.and multiple other ways of saying "throw up."
Then he cried.
A/N: there..the 5th chapter..i hope you're all happy cuz if you aren't we will be sad... ( (--see?sad..neway..pleeeeeeeeeeeease review..even tho weve been bad authors...but were reeeeeeeeally sorry!!!!!! And we love you sooooo much!!!!! Hope you enjoyed it!!!!! Tell us what you think in a review!!!! And sry it took soooo long to get this chapter up...
Disclaimer: we don't own nething you recognize
Chapter 5
The punches seemed to have begun to bounce off Ron. Cause he just kept laughing like he didn't realize she like slugged him. It was like he had a thick layer of rubber on his face. Harry ran up to Ron.
"Let's see who you really are, Mr......." Harry proceeded to pull off Ron's face. "Why it's old man Whithers the guys who owns the haunted amusement park!"
Ginny grabbed Harry around the waist, "Good one, Shaggy." Old man Whithers looked mad and he pulled off his face to reveal Ron.
Ron slurred in his anger, "Geez you guys! Didn't you ever think that a person could wear two masks! It was me all the time! Gosh!" Everyone stared. Hermione just went up and bitch slapped him.
"Well normal people don't wear two masks, retard!"
Ron then proceeded to cry and looked at Hermione and said "m'sry ma'am...." He put on his best puppy-dog face and whimpered.
Hermione just looked at him and said "Shut up you mangy mutt!! You're sad face sucks ass!!" Then stomped off.
Ron watched her walk away, then turned to Harry and Ginny, smiling smugly, and said "Oh yeah.....she wants me......" then ran after Hermione.
Ginny and Harry just stared at each other, then skipped off following the yellow floor tiles, while singing "We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz...We hear he is a wiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was....if ever or whever a wiz there was...the wizard of oz is one because....because because because because BECAUSE.....because of the wonderful things he does!!!" that led them to......dun na na......THE GREAT HALL!!
As they entered the Great Hall, they both stopped in their tracks in fear. "Dear god.......that is the scariest thing I've ever seen...I'm scarred for life...." Ginny whispered in a strained voice.
"What?" Harry asked, "the stay-puff marshmallow man eating that house-elf a la mode?"
"No!!!" Ginny whispered, horrified, "that other thing...."
"What?" he asked again, "those ice-dancing gorillas in spandex with miniature harps?"
"NO!!!" Ginny whispered again, "next to the ice-dancing gorillas in spandex with miniature harps!!"
"OH DEAR GOD!!!!!!" Harry shouted, "MY EYES!!! THEY BURN!!!!!! HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?!?!?! IN HOGWARTS?!?!?! JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IN A DIAPER SERENADING PROFESSOR SNAPE?!?!?! WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?!?!?! IS THERE NO JUSTICE?!?! NO MERCY?!?!?!" Harry then promptly collapsed and Ginny went to go get some much needed alcohol and weed.
Fred and George came around the corner to find Ginny and Harry rolling joints in the hall with their parchment. "Ginny, dear, what are you doing?"
Ginny jumped in astonishment cause she didn't hear them come up. She recovered quickly and put on her innocent face and said, "Harry and I are writing down the clues we've found."
Fred came up and got in her face and said, "I hear you're not using your paper for writing, but for ROLLING DOOBIES!!! AND THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF TIME FOR DOOBIE ROLLING, WHEN YOU'RE LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!" Harry, who was already wasted, looked at Fred in a half-sleepy, half- shocked, and half-maniacal way.
George came up and slapped Harry. "That's three halves, bitch! Get it right!"
"Sorry man......whooooa.....yeah.....hey........you wanna have some o' this macaroni. This is some goooood shit dawg......" Harry slurred.
"No way dude," George replied "I don't smoke that shit....that stuff is weak....." He then whipped out an apple and ate it. "Now that's the shit, man.......whoooooa dude..." George got a glazed look, and then became panicked, looking around frantically at Fred, Ginny, and Harry. "We have to go!!!!! They're coming!!!!!!! THE THREE-LEGGED AQUAMARINE ICE CREAM SHOOTING ELEPHANTS ARE COMING!!!!!!! RUUUUUUUN!!!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" George took off down the corridor, Fred shrugged, and followed.
Ginny and Harry looked at each other, struggling to open their eyes, and sneezed.
Meanwhile.....
Ron and Hermione were walking through the corridors, going to the next site of their clue. Hermione saw an oddly placed coffee maker, and went and poured two cups. "Here," she said to Ron, while holding out a cup, "drink it."
Ron, still drunk, took it and managed to only get half of it in his mouth. "Gawd I love chicken wine!!" he exclaimed, finishing his cup. Hermione rolled her eyes, and went to pour him another cup. After his fourth cup, Ron was finally somewhat sober and thinking straight.
Ron looked around him, "Where the hell am I?", he mumbled. Hermione just rolled her eyes and slapped him. Ron cried.
"Eh my gaw, Ron!! I completely forgot that I have something sooooo important to tell you!! See, this summer at band camp."
Ron turned and stared at Hermione, "That reminds me of a story that is in no way related. I really wish I had a dancing monkey. He would wear a little vest and a fez. I would have a little music box that plays Bohemian Rhapsody and I would crank it and he would dance. I would dress like Dieter from Sprockets and I would call him Heindrick. I would look at him and go 'come hither, Heindrick' and he would scurry over and jump onto my shoulder. Then I would send him to go dance and he would jump around and people would give him tips. Yes. It is one small step towards my total conquer of the world!!! mwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! mwahahahahahahahahaha!!! mwahahahahahahahaha!!! mwahahaha! mwahaha! mwaha! There....it passed" Hermione glared at Ron.
"Bitch...do not interrupt me in a conversation because I would not do it to you!" Hermione slapped Ron. Ron cried.
"Come on, dumbass, we gotta get to our next clue," Hermione said.
She then said to him "Come!! Let us dance like children of the night!!" and leaped away, with Ron trying to dance like a child of the night, but failing, following behind her.
On their way, the saw a coconut tree growing out of the wall. Ron stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the tree in awe, before he began to take coconuts off the tree, and sat them in a row. Sitting down in front of his new coconut friends, he began to sing a new song. "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedaleedee....there they are standing in a row, bum bum bum.....big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!!"
Ron gazed upon his new coconut friends with tears in his eyes, "They are sooooo.......beautiful!" He picked up a large one and gave it a hug...he then found a lipstick on the floor and used it to draw a little cat face on the coconut. "Hermione look! It's a kitty cat!", he looked at the coconut "I want chicken.....I want liver...meow mix meow mix....please deliver"
"SHUT UP!!!!!!" Hermione lost it. Not only did she slap him, she kicked him in the balls. The pain was so intense he found the need to blow chunks, vomit, cascade, barf, honk.and multiple other ways of saying "throw up."
Then he cried.
A/N: there..the 5th chapter..i hope you're all happy cuz if you aren't we will be sad... ( (--see?sad..neway..pleeeeeeeeeeeease review..even tho weve been bad authors...but were reeeeeeeeally sorry!!!!!! And we love you sooooo much!!!!! Hope you enjoyed it!!!!! Tell us what you think in a review!!!! And sry it took soooo long to get this chapter up...