A/N: Woo.. We're on a role..second chapter in 2 days!! And were about to
start on the third!! Once again, sorry for the delay on the 5th!! And oh
yeah, REVIEW!!!! LOVE YA, MEAN IT!!
Disclaimer: We don't own anything you recognize.
Chapter 6
We now turn to the scene of Fred and George.
"I wanna do it again Fred!!!" George exclaimed, with a wide grin on his flushed face. "Do you have another quarter?"
"Yeah, I think I might.lemme check." Fred replied as he searched in his pockets looking for another quarter so that Fred could ride the mechanical spaceship outside the Wal-Mart in Hogsmeade. "Here's one!! It's my last one though.so this is the last time." Fred said.
".okay!!" George said, while vigorously nodding his head up and down, staring avidly at the quarter as Fred put it into the spaceship. "WEEEEE!!!!" Fred exclaimed, as the spaceship slowly moved in a "realistic" way.
"wheeeee! I love Wal-Mart!" said George. As soon as he spoke, of all people, Voldemort walked out of Wal-Mart, and he was completely pissed. He was smoking 3 cigs at once and was holding a six pack of Bud in his left hand and a box of PMS medicine in the other.
"WELL....HOOOOOWWWWDDDDYYYYY!" Fred and George screamed like little girls, and took off running to the little cave that was so conveniently positioned 3 feet away.
In the conveniently positioned cave were also 2 conveniently positioned phone booths in which both Fred and George ran into. Inside, they spun around real fast, and then emerged, wearing.thongs. Not just thongs..but green man thongs that had some sort of duck thing on them.
"hehe.whoops.wrong ones George.these are our Friday night costumes.let's try again, shall we?" Fred said, looking down at his interesting attire.
"Yeah, let's," George replied.
They ran back into the conveniently positioned phone booths and emerged once again this time dressed like the M. C. Hammer! They ran out of the cave and stopped in their tracks when they saw Voldie putting on an exfoliating mask and trying on women's lingerie. Fred looked at George really confused.
"Oh well...you wanna dance anyways?" he asked.
"Sure...come let us dance" and they both ran down the street singing "can't touch this...da na na na...ch ch....da na....ch ch...da na...can't touch this!"
Meanwhile, back at Hogwarts.
"Okay, you take the one in the blue dress and I'll take the one in the pink dress, k?" Hagrid asked Draco, handing him a Barbie doll in a blue dress.
"I...do..not..want..to..play..with..BARBIE'S!!" Draco shouted, after telling Hagrid this for the fifth time.
"Oh, you're such a killjoy.Barbie's are fun!!" Hagrid began to brush its hair and sing under his breath, "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world!! I'm plastic, it's fantastic!!"
"Stop it, Stop it, STOP IT!! NO MORE BARBIE'S!! NO MORE SINGING AND NO MORE TUTU'S!!!!!" Draco bellowed, finally fed up with all Hagrid's girly antics.
Hagrid sniffed. "Well.if that's the way you truly feel." he looked up at Draco with watery eyes and his voice suddenly dropped and became husky, "let's get it on!!!"
He proceeded to chase Draco around the room, before he finally pinned him and was getting ready to rape him, when Dobby walked in, intending to clean the room.
"What is going on, masters?" Dobby asked, horrified. Then comprehension dawned on his face. "Master Malfoy? First Harry Potter and now you?! How could you do this to Dobby?!?! Dobby was always a good playmate for you when he worked in your house and this is how you treats Dobby?!?! Stupid Hagrid, stealing Dobby's play thing. Dobby is angry now!! Dobby will get revenge!!"
In Dobby's rage, he mustered all his puny strength and somehow managed to push Hagrid out the window, sending him 20 stories down and to his impending doom. He made quite a nice splatting sound though.
*squishy squat* Dobby leaned out of the window. "Ewww, that is so nasty! Master Malfoy, come here, my gansta bitch! Check this out! He's like all over the sidewalk! Awesome!!!" Malfoy was shocked.
"Dobby! You can talk normally! Why did you never do it before?!?!" Dobby grabbed Malfoy's ass and said "Cause I like to annoy you....that smirk is so sexy! Kiss kiss!" with that Dobby skipped away.
"SURPRISE!!!!!!" Ron popped out from behind an oddly placed tree. "SMILE! YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA! WHEEEE! I'M GONNA WIN ME SOME MONEY!!! AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS...HERE COMES RON!"
Draco collapsed onto the floor in sobs. "My reputation! My beautiful reputation! Thrashed! It's gone! All gone! Why god? Why? Was it my snobbiness? Am I supposed to be a man? Am I supposed to say 'It's okay! I don't mind....I don't mind'.....well I mind! I mind big time! And you know what the worst part of all this is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ!!!!!" Draco cried as Ron giggled insanely as he recorded his Oscar nominating speech
*Scene switch to Harry and Ginny in hallway, with empty box of tissues
"Yeah, so anyway, then he tries to hand me twenty bucks and I say 'Bitch, for my kind of quality service I charge a quality price. Twenty Five!!' So then he finally hands over the extra five and I get out of the car and go back home." Harry finished.
"Gosh Harry, I never knew you had it so hard at the Dursley's. Having to sell yourself just so you could buy My Little Pony Dolls. It's sad, cruel, and unusual." Ginny said sadly, shaking her head.
"Yeah, well, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. And they were action figures.not dolls." Harry replied.
"Oh, yeah.Sorry." Ginny said, quickly.
Suddenly, Ginny sprang up. "Did you just see that? That potted tree just moved like 5 feet!"
The tree reached around with its branch and grabbed the large zipper on the front of the tree and unzipped it. Out popped Ron! "SMILE! YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!"
Draco came around the corner still sniffing and rubbing his puffing eyes. "You already did that today, moron. Pick a new catch phrase, ass." He rubbed his eyes and went over to Harry. He picked up the empty Kleenex box and shook it.
"Dammit, Harry! You used them all! How could you? I thought you cared!" With that, Draco took off down the halls sobbing, when suddenly he tripped and fell into one of those cartoon holes that you can just pull out of a box and lie on the floor. Ron ran over to the hole and starting jumping up and down in excitement.
"A clue! A clue!" Harry and Ginny went over and saw a box that said "acme...holes to order" that had a large blue paw-print on it. Harry whipped out his...handy...dandy...notebook! He drew a little box and wrote acme on it. Then he placed the notebook back in his pocket.
Suddenly Ron burst out, "Dammit! I forgot to go by the liquor store today! I'm out of malt liquor! Shooot!"
"Oh, well I heard that there's a Beer Barn down the street," Draco replied, from the bottom of the hole.
"Thanks Drakey!!...Hey? You wanna come?" Ron asked.
"Sure, lemme just whip out my ladder that's in my back pocket," Draco replied nonchalantly. A few minutes later, he was standing with the rest of them, and he and Ron, and Hermione, who magically reappeared after seeming to be missing in the last scene, headed towards Beer Barn.
We return to the scene outside the conveniently placed cave, and discover Fred and George surrounded by the Care Bears, and facing Voldemort.
"Ready? Care..Bear..Stare!!!!!!!!" Braveheart ordered to his fellow Care Bears. They proceeded to do their Care Bear Stare, and all their good stuff attacked Voldemort, and he began to melt.
"Ooh!! I'm melting!! I'm melting!! I'll get you little boys, and your little armadillos too!!" Voldemort then melted and died, and Fred and George put protective hands on their armadillos, which had somehow managed to find their way to Hogsmeade from The Burrow.
Meanwhile at Beer Barn....
Ron waltzed up to the counter and dropped his gallon jug of malt liquor on the counter. The cashier looked at him and Draco funny and said "Could I see some ID please?"
Ron began to twitch and look around frantically, when he threw the jug to Draco and said "RUN!!!! RUN, DRACO, RUN!!!!!" and he hauled ass out of the store with Malfoy and Hermione on his heels. They saw a conveniently placed cave and ran inside it.
When inside they found Fred and George and a bunch of care bears telling ghost stories around a campfire. "Hey!" Ron said, "What say you that we spice up this part-ay?!?!?!" He held up the malt liquor for all to see.
Fred and George ran over to Ron. "Boooooooooze!!!!!"
After about 20 minutes, they were all completely tanked. This little pink care bear pipes up and goes "I've got a ghost story! A really scary one!" Everyone turned their drunken heads to the little pink Care Bear.
"Once upon a time. There was this monkey named Heindrick. And he lived inside a tree. He wore a little vest and a fez. And whenever anyone walked by his tree he would jump out and him and his army of leprechauns would eat the victims flesh, cut open their spleen, and drink their fluids. The end." Ron was shocked.
"See Hermione? I told you that I wanted a dancing monkey named Heindrick. And that care bear knows a story about him...so he must be real! There is still hope! Yay!" Hermione kneed Ron in the stomach and when he bent over in pain, she hit him over the head with a large rock. The Care Bear cried. So did Ron.
A/N: So there's the 6th chapter..Hope you liked it, and remember to REVIEW!!!! WE LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!! LATA!
Disclaimer: We don't own anything you recognize.
Chapter 6
We now turn to the scene of Fred and George.
"I wanna do it again Fred!!!" George exclaimed, with a wide grin on his flushed face. "Do you have another quarter?"
"Yeah, I think I might.lemme check." Fred replied as he searched in his pockets looking for another quarter so that Fred could ride the mechanical spaceship outside the Wal-Mart in Hogsmeade. "Here's one!! It's my last one though.so this is the last time." Fred said.
".okay!!" George said, while vigorously nodding his head up and down, staring avidly at the quarter as Fred put it into the spaceship. "WEEEEE!!!!" Fred exclaimed, as the spaceship slowly moved in a "realistic" way.
"wheeeee! I love Wal-Mart!" said George. As soon as he spoke, of all people, Voldemort walked out of Wal-Mart, and he was completely pissed. He was smoking 3 cigs at once and was holding a six pack of Bud in his left hand and a box of PMS medicine in the other.
"WELL....HOOOOOWWWWDDDDYYYYY!" Fred and George screamed like little girls, and took off running to the little cave that was so conveniently positioned 3 feet away.
In the conveniently positioned cave were also 2 conveniently positioned phone booths in which both Fred and George ran into. Inside, they spun around real fast, and then emerged, wearing.thongs. Not just thongs..but green man thongs that had some sort of duck thing on them.
"hehe.whoops.wrong ones George.these are our Friday night costumes.let's try again, shall we?" Fred said, looking down at his interesting attire.
"Yeah, let's," George replied.
They ran back into the conveniently positioned phone booths and emerged once again this time dressed like the M. C. Hammer! They ran out of the cave and stopped in their tracks when they saw Voldie putting on an exfoliating mask and trying on women's lingerie. Fred looked at George really confused.
"Oh well...you wanna dance anyways?" he asked.
"Sure...come let us dance" and they both ran down the street singing "can't touch this...da na na na...ch ch....da na....ch ch...da na...can't touch this!"
Meanwhile, back at Hogwarts.
"Okay, you take the one in the blue dress and I'll take the one in the pink dress, k?" Hagrid asked Draco, handing him a Barbie doll in a blue dress.
"I...do..not..want..to..play..with..BARBIE'S!!" Draco shouted, after telling Hagrid this for the fifth time.
"Oh, you're such a killjoy.Barbie's are fun!!" Hagrid began to brush its hair and sing under his breath, "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world!! I'm plastic, it's fantastic!!"
"Stop it, Stop it, STOP IT!! NO MORE BARBIE'S!! NO MORE SINGING AND NO MORE TUTU'S!!!!!" Draco bellowed, finally fed up with all Hagrid's girly antics.
Hagrid sniffed. "Well.if that's the way you truly feel." he looked up at Draco with watery eyes and his voice suddenly dropped and became husky, "let's get it on!!!"
He proceeded to chase Draco around the room, before he finally pinned him and was getting ready to rape him, when Dobby walked in, intending to clean the room.
"What is going on, masters?" Dobby asked, horrified. Then comprehension dawned on his face. "Master Malfoy? First Harry Potter and now you?! How could you do this to Dobby?!?! Dobby was always a good playmate for you when he worked in your house and this is how you treats Dobby?!?! Stupid Hagrid, stealing Dobby's play thing. Dobby is angry now!! Dobby will get revenge!!"
In Dobby's rage, he mustered all his puny strength and somehow managed to push Hagrid out the window, sending him 20 stories down and to his impending doom. He made quite a nice splatting sound though.
*squishy squat* Dobby leaned out of the window. "Ewww, that is so nasty! Master Malfoy, come here, my gansta bitch! Check this out! He's like all over the sidewalk! Awesome!!!" Malfoy was shocked.
"Dobby! You can talk normally! Why did you never do it before?!?!" Dobby grabbed Malfoy's ass and said "Cause I like to annoy you....that smirk is so sexy! Kiss kiss!" with that Dobby skipped away.
"SURPRISE!!!!!!" Ron popped out from behind an oddly placed tree. "SMILE! YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA! WHEEEE! I'M GONNA WIN ME SOME MONEY!!! AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS...HERE COMES RON!"
Draco collapsed onto the floor in sobs. "My reputation! My beautiful reputation! Thrashed! It's gone! All gone! Why god? Why? Was it my snobbiness? Am I supposed to be a man? Am I supposed to say 'It's okay! I don't mind....I don't mind'.....well I mind! I mind big time! And you know what the worst part of all this is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ!!!!!" Draco cried as Ron giggled insanely as he recorded his Oscar nominating speech
*Scene switch to Harry and Ginny in hallway, with empty box of tissues
"Yeah, so anyway, then he tries to hand me twenty bucks and I say 'Bitch, for my kind of quality service I charge a quality price. Twenty Five!!' So then he finally hands over the extra five and I get out of the car and go back home." Harry finished.
"Gosh Harry, I never knew you had it so hard at the Dursley's. Having to sell yourself just so you could buy My Little Pony Dolls. It's sad, cruel, and unusual." Ginny said sadly, shaking her head.
"Yeah, well, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. And they were action figures.not dolls." Harry replied.
"Oh, yeah.Sorry." Ginny said, quickly.
Suddenly, Ginny sprang up. "Did you just see that? That potted tree just moved like 5 feet!"
The tree reached around with its branch and grabbed the large zipper on the front of the tree and unzipped it. Out popped Ron! "SMILE! YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!"
Draco came around the corner still sniffing and rubbing his puffing eyes. "You already did that today, moron. Pick a new catch phrase, ass." He rubbed his eyes and went over to Harry. He picked up the empty Kleenex box and shook it.
"Dammit, Harry! You used them all! How could you? I thought you cared!" With that, Draco took off down the halls sobbing, when suddenly he tripped and fell into one of those cartoon holes that you can just pull out of a box and lie on the floor. Ron ran over to the hole and starting jumping up and down in excitement.
"A clue! A clue!" Harry and Ginny went over and saw a box that said "acme...holes to order" that had a large blue paw-print on it. Harry whipped out his...handy...dandy...notebook! He drew a little box and wrote acme on it. Then he placed the notebook back in his pocket.
Suddenly Ron burst out, "Dammit! I forgot to go by the liquor store today! I'm out of malt liquor! Shooot!"
"Oh, well I heard that there's a Beer Barn down the street," Draco replied, from the bottom of the hole.
"Thanks Drakey!!...Hey? You wanna come?" Ron asked.
"Sure, lemme just whip out my ladder that's in my back pocket," Draco replied nonchalantly. A few minutes later, he was standing with the rest of them, and he and Ron, and Hermione, who magically reappeared after seeming to be missing in the last scene, headed towards Beer Barn.
We return to the scene outside the conveniently placed cave, and discover Fred and George surrounded by the Care Bears, and facing Voldemort.
"Ready? Care..Bear..Stare!!!!!!!!" Braveheart ordered to his fellow Care Bears. They proceeded to do their Care Bear Stare, and all their good stuff attacked Voldemort, and he began to melt.
"Ooh!! I'm melting!! I'm melting!! I'll get you little boys, and your little armadillos too!!" Voldemort then melted and died, and Fred and George put protective hands on their armadillos, which had somehow managed to find their way to Hogsmeade from The Burrow.
Meanwhile at Beer Barn....
Ron waltzed up to the counter and dropped his gallon jug of malt liquor on the counter. The cashier looked at him and Draco funny and said "Could I see some ID please?"
Ron began to twitch and look around frantically, when he threw the jug to Draco and said "RUN!!!! RUN, DRACO, RUN!!!!!" and he hauled ass out of the store with Malfoy and Hermione on his heels. They saw a conveniently placed cave and ran inside it.
When inside they found Fred and George and a bunch of care bears telling ghost stories around a campfire. "Hey!" Ron said, "What say you that we spice up this part-ay?!?!?!" He held up the malt liquor for all to see.
Fred and George ran over to Ron. "Boooooooooze!!!!!"
After about 20 minutes, they were all completely tanked. This little pink care bear pipes up and goes "I've got a ghost story! A really scary one!" Everyone turned their drunken heads to the little pink Care Bear.
"Once upon a time. There was this monkey named Heindrick. And he lived inside a tree. He wore a little vest and a fez. And whenever anyone walked by his tree he would jump out and him and his army of leprechauns would eat the victims flesh, cut open their spleen, and drink their fluids. The end." Ron was shocked.
"See Hermione? I told you that I wanted a dancing monkey named Heindrick. And that care bear knows a story about him...so he must be real! There is still hope! Yay!" Hermione kneed Ron in the stomach and when he bent over in pain, she hit him over the head with a large rock. The Care Bear cried. So did Ron.
A/N: So there's the 6th chapter..Hope you liked it, and remember to REVIEW!!!! WE LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!! LATA!