A/N: ok....We're really really really really really really sorry for the
long wait. School has been hell, especially our damn history class and
well..we've just had way too much shit to do much writing. But thank you
soooooooo much for all the wonderful reviews!!! 45!!!! Woooooooo!!! So
here's our 7th chapter, and sorry for the long wait!! Please r/r!! We love
you!!
Chapter 7- Table Dancing and Hairclips
Back at Hogwarts...
Somehow Harry and Ginny got stoned. They were making little phones with their wands and sitting on opposite sides of a room calling each other and saying "WAAASSSSUUUUPPP?!?!?!?!" at different pitches to one another. Hermione, Draco, Ron, the twins, and their army of care bears came into the room and Harry and Ginny screamed.
"What the hell is that fuzzy thing?!?!?!? it's like that weird fuzzy thing on Star Wars cept it's pink!!!!! nooooo!!!! my eyes!!!!" Harry cried. Hermione performed a spell that sobered him (A/N...I don't know the word for becoming un-stoned). "Watchikikie monkeybanglenesh banana cow!" and she did this to Ginny too.
And there was a long awkward silence until Ron decided to end the silence. Across the room a spotlight came on and everyone turned to see Ron sitting on a stool in the middle of the room. He was wearing a leisure suit and there was a very large disco ball overhead.
Ron looked up. "At first I was afraid. I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights just thinking how you did me wrong. And I grew strong. I LEARNED HOW TO GET ALONG!" he jumped up and flung the stool across the room and started to do a really retarded dance. "And now I'm back. From outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face. I should have changed that stupid lock. I should have made you leave your key. If I'd known for just one second, that you'd be back to bother me. So now go! Walk out the door! Don't turn around now...cause you're not welcome anymore! Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye. You think I'll crumble? You think I'll lay down and die?!?! OH NO, NOT I!!! I WILL SURVIVE!"
As soon as he said this, Hermione waved her wand and the large disco ball fell on Ron's head. Ron cried.
When Ron recovered, the group left the room. They were walking down the hall when they heard some music coming from the great hall. They opened the doors and were shocked at what lay before them.
Sirus was covered in band-aids. And Remus was wearing a cheerleader uniform and jumping up and down on a table.
"Hey Mickey, you're so fine! You're so fine you blow mind! Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey, you're so fine! You're so fine you blow my mind! Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey, what a pity. You don't understand. You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand! Hey Mickey, you're so pretty. You don't understan.......HERMIONE, RON, DRACO, HARRY, GINNY, AND YOU FUZZY PINK THINGS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!"
Harry stared at his godfather. "Why are you covered in band-aids?"
Sirius looked up at Harry with a wide grin on his face. "I had a booboo, but Wemus gave me a band-aid and made it aaaaall better!!"
Harry just looked at Remus with a look of complete confusion. Remus looked down at Sirius who had accidentally hit his head with a randomly placed anvil-shaped pillow. Sirius started to cry.
"Oh my Sirius!! Poor baby!! Here's another band-aid!!" Remus placed a band-aid on Sirius' forehead, and kissed it. "Is that better?"
Sirius sniffled, rubbed his nose, and looked up at Remus with watery eyes before nodding.
"That's good," Remus replied, before picking up his pompoms and continuing to cheer.
Draco snorted, "What do you think you're doing, werewolf?"
"What?" Remus retorted, "you think you could do better?!"
"Hell yes! I didn't spend two summers at cheer camp for nothing! Move OVER, girlfriend! Let me show you how it's done!"
Draco hopped up onto the table. He conjured up a boom box with his wand and pressed the play button. All the lights in the great hall went out and one light shone down on him. He had his head bowed. Suddenly the music blasted....
"Yo, VIP, Let's kick it!
Ice Ice Baby, Ice Ice Baby All right stop, Collaborate and listen Ice is back with my brand new invention Something grabs a hold of me tightly Then I flow like a harpoon daily and nightly Will it ever stop? Yo -- I don't know Turn off the lights and I'll glow To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle."
Meanwhile, Malfoy busted a move on the table.
"Damn" exclaimed Sirius. "Those are the most elaborate white boy break dance moves I have ever seen!!!!" He gawked at Draco do the moonwalk across the table.
"Whooooo!" shouted Hermione. "Go white boy! Go white boy! It's your birthday!" Everyone looked at Hermione like she was crazy.
Ron got jealous and pushed Draco off the table. "If anybody should do a table dance, Malfoy, it should be me!!' Ron then proceeded to whip out a ribbon dancer out of his pocket (you know, one of those sticks with a really long ribbon) and pulled on a sparkly pink tutu. "Music mistro, if you please," he said to the room, though no one really knew who he was talking to.
The song Chariots of Fire filled the air, and Ron began to do what he thought was a beautiful ribbon dance. He twirled, he jumped, and frolicked across the table.
Little did Ron know, the songs Chariots of Fire reminds Care Bears of their lives as slaves to the evil Sock Monkey overlord. This immense relapse of emotional distress caused the Care Bears to all jump Ron. He had 20 angry Care Bears mauling him as he ran in circles screaming around the room trying to get them off.
"I'll stop them," Harry shouted. He whipped out his wand and performed a spell. All of the Care Bears burst into flame. Suddenly Ron let out a ear piercing scream. He had forgotten to remove the CareBears off of Ron before lighting them up. Ron dropped to the ground and began frantically rolling around trying to put out the flames that now enveloped him.
"Whoops," Harry said sheepishly as everyone looked at him like he was a dumbass. Which he was.
Ron finally managed to put out the flames, but was still in IMMENSE pain due to his 2ND DEGREE BURNS!
"Damn it Harry!! You're such a dumbass!! Remus, give me some of those band aids!!" Ron demanded. Remus looked down at the box of band-aids, and looked up feebly at Ron.
"Heh heh......funny you should say that..we're, uh, out of band aids....."
Ron looked livid. "WHAT?!?!" he yelled, and even though it wasn't that loud, everyone shook for dramatic effect.
"I know...let's visit somewhere magical and FULL of wonder!!!" Fred suggested. George's eyes lit up.
"Yes.....Wally World.....where ALL dreams come true!!" George said, while doing a little dance.
So everyone skipped across the Entrance Hall and out on the grounds, on their way to Hogsmeade. Well, except for Ron, who limped, but no one cared about him, for they were going to the place of magic and wonder, where all dreams come true.
They were quite gay (the happy kind) until.....dun na na!!......disaster struck!!! Sirius lost his brand new hair clip, with pink flowers, and so they all dropped to their knees in search of it.
"I found it!!" Harry exclaimed, holding up a punk hair clip.
"No," Sirius sniffed, "that one is yours Harry. Remember? I gave it to you for Christmas last year. It matched the dress that came with it."
"Oh yeah.....you're right, sorry," Harry replied, and they continued searching.
Suddenly Malfoy began to violently choke and spasm on the ground.
"Oh my god!" Hermione said running over to him. "I'm gonna have to give him the heimlick manuever. Back up!!" She put her arms around his waist and pulled really hard and he coughed out something that went flying through the air hitting Ron in the side of the head as he finally caught up to them.
"Oh dammit!" He screamed. "What the hell was that?!?!" He picked up the pain inflicting piece of refuge off the ground. "It's a damned hair clip!!" he shouted, outraged.
"My hairclip!!!" Sirius screamed with delight. "Oh Ron, I love you!" and with that he kissed him on the cheek and skipped onward.
Hermione looked at Malfoy weirdly. "Why the hell did you eat that in the first place?"
He looked up at her through eyes that had the same expression of a six year old done something wrong. "M'sorry ma'am........." he mumbled.
"Don't tell me you're sorry! I wanna know why you ate it!!" Hermione demanded.
"M'sorry......." he replied.
"Damn it Draco!! Why the hell did you eat the damn hair clip?" she said through gritted teeth.
He looked at his fingernails, and then again up at her. "M'so-" but one look at her face made him stop, and he sighed.
~Funny music and screen waving announcing a fuzzy memory sequence~
Draco thought to himself, just before seeing a bright pink hairclip with flowers lying in the grass, which was obviously staring at him in a challenging way.
Draco looked behind him. No one was there, so the clip must be staring at him.
"You talking to me?........YOU talking to me?.........You must be talking to me 'cause there's no one else here!!! Oh yeah? Well I'll show you, you bastard!!!"
And he ate the clip. Just like that. He ate it. And then he started choking on it......
~End fuzzy memory sequence~
Draco looked up at everyone after finishing his story. "M'sorry........but he started it!!!!!"
"Good for you," Harry said blankly as he turned on his heel and walked away. But as he was walking he tripped over a lump object and fell flat on his face. "What the f-......Ron? Why are you on the ground?"
Ron who was lying there with his eyes wide open, was a very pasty color, and was twitching as he mumbled to himself really fast. Fred picked up a conveniently positioned bucket of water and chucked it on his brother.
"Thanks," Ron said as he wiped his wet hair off his face. "Harry. Your godfather kissed me. I am truly afraid. Hold me." With that he jumped into Harry's lap. Harry was disgusted. He pushed Ron back on the ground and went over to Ginny.
"I am NOT gay!!!" He said flatly. Then he snogged her to prove it.
"Well fine then," Draco said, and snogged Hermione, because he felt he should do something in light of the situation.
"Well fine then," George said, and snogged Fred, but they quickly stopped, realizing the intense grossness of the moment.
"Well fine then," Sirius said, and snogged Remus, and after a few minutes pulled away and said "You're not Janine, are you?" Remus shook his head.
He looked Sirius in the eye. "Sirius....it never would have worked between us darling....I'm sorry"
Ginny looked shocked, Hermione slapped Draco, Fred and George searched their pockets for alcohol, Remus backed away from Sirius as he cursed under his breath about needing glasses, and Ron cried.
A/N: So there ya go, hope you liked!! Please review!!! And we're REALLY SORRY for the long wait!! Love ya!!
Chapter 7- Table Dancing and Hairclips
Back at Hogwarts...
Somehow Harry and Ginny got stoned. They were making little phones with their wands and sitting on opposite sides of a room calling each other and saying "WAAASSSSUUUUPPP?!?!?!?!" at different pitches to one another. Hermione, Draco, Ron, the twins, and their army of care bears came into the room and Harry and Ginny screamed.
"What the hell is that fuzzy thing?!?!?!? it's like that weird fuzzy thing on Star Wars cept it's pink!!!!! nooooo!!!! my eyes!!!!" Harry cried. Hermione performed a spell that sobered him (A/N...I don't know the word for becoming un-stoned). "Watchikikie monkeybanglenesh banana cow!" and she did this to Ginny too.
And there was a long awkward silence until Ron decided to end the silence. Across the room a spotlight came on and everyone turned to see Ron sitting on a stool in the middle of the room. He was wearing a leisure suit and there was a very large disco ball overhead.
Ron looked up. "At first I was afraid. I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights just thinking how you did me wrong. And I grew strong. I LEARNED HOW TO GET ALONG!" he jumped up and flung the stool across the room and started to do a really retarded dance. "And now I'm back. From outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face. I should have changed that stupid lock. I should have made you leave your key. If I'd known for just one second, that you'd be back to bother me. So now go! Walk out the door! Don't turn around now...cause you're not welcome anymore! Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye. You think I'll crumble? You think I'll lay down and die?!?! OH NO, NOT I!!! I WILL SURVIVE!"
As soon as he said this, Hermione waved her wand and the large disco ball fell on Ron's head. Ron cried.
When Ron recovered, the group left the room. They were walking down the hall when they heard some music coming from the great hall. They opened the doors and were shocked at what lay before them.
Sirus was covered in band-aids. And Remus was wearing a cheerleader uniform and jumping up and down on a table.
"Hey Mickey, you're so fine! You're so fine you blow mind! Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey, you're so fine! You're so fine you blow my mind! Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey, what a pity. You don't understand. You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand! Hey Mickey, you're so pretty. You don't understan.......HERMIONE, RON, DRACO, HARRY, GINNY, AND YOU FUZZY PINK THINGS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!"
Harry stared at his godfather. "Why are you covered in band-aids?"
Sirius looked up at Harry with a wide grin on his face. "I had a booboo, but Wemus gave me a band-aid and made it aaaaall better!!"
Harry just looked at Remus with a look of complete confusion. Remus looked down at Sirius who had accidentally hit his head with a randomly placed anvil-shaped pillow. Sirius started to cry.
"Oh my Sirius!! Poor baby!! Here's another band-aid!!" Remus placed a band-aid on Sirius' forehead, and kissed it. "Is that better?"
Sirius sniffled, rubbed his nose, and looked up at Remus with watery eyes before nodding.
"That's good," Remus replied, before picking up his pompoms and continuing to cheer.
Draco snorted, "What do you think you're doing, werewolf?"
"What?" Remus retorted, "you think you could do better?!"
"Hell yes! I didn't spend two summers at cheer camp for nothing! Move OVER, girlfriend! Let me show you how it's done!"
Draco hopped up onto the table. He conjured up a boom box with his wand and pressed the play button. All the lights in the great hall went out and one light shone down on him. He had his head bowed. Suddenly the music blasted....
"Yo, VIP, Let's kick it!
Ice Ice Baby, Ice Ice Baby All right stop, Collaborate and listen Ice is back with my brand new invention Something grabs a hold of me tightly Then I flow like a harpoon daily and nightly Will it ever stop? Yo -- I don't know Turn off the lights and I'll glow To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle."
Meanwhile, Malfoy busted a move on the table.
"Damn" exclaimed Sirius. "Those are the most elaborate white boy break dance moves I have ever seen!!!!" He gawked at Draco do the moonwalk across the table.
"Whooooo!" shouted Hermione. "Go white boy! Go white boy! It's your birthday!" Everyone looked at Hermione like she was crazy.
Ron got jealous and pushed Draco off the table. "If anybody should do a table dance, Malfoy, it should be me!!' Ron then proceeded to whip out a ribbon dancer out of his pocket (you know, one of those sticks with a really long ribbon) and pulled on a sparkly pink tutu. "Music mistro, if you please," he said to the room, though no one really knew who he was talking to.
The song Chariots of Fire filled the air, and Ron began to do what he thought was a beautiful ribbon dance. He twirled, he jumped, and frolicked across the table.
Little did Ron know, the songs Chariots of Fire reminds Care Bears of their lives as slaves to the evil Sock Monkey overlord. This immense relapse of emotional distress caused the Care Bears to all jump Ron. He had 20 angry Care Bears mauling him as he ran in circles screaming around the room trying to get them off.
"I'll stop them," Harry shouted. He whipped out his wand and performed a spell. All of the Care Bears burst into flame. Suddenly Ron let out a ear piercing scream. He had forgotten to remove the CareBears off of Ron before lighting them up. Ron dropped to the ground and began frantically rolling around trying to put out the flames that now enveloped him.
"Whoops," Harry said sheepishly as everyone looked at him like he was a dumbass. Which he was.
Ron finally managed to put out the flames, but was still in IMMENSE pain due to his 2ND DEGREE BURNS!
"Damn it Harry!! You're such a dumbass!! Remus, give me some of those band aids!!" Ron demanded. Remus looked down at the box of band-aids, and looked up feebly at Ron.
"Heh heh......funny you should say that..we're, uh, out of band aids....."
Ron looked livid. "WHAT?!?!" he yelled, and even though it wasn't that loud, everyone shook for dramatic effect.
"I know...let's visit somewhere magical and FULL of wonder!!!" Fred suggested. George's eyes lit up.
"Yes.....Wally World.....where ALL dreams come true!!" George said, while doing a little dance.
So everyone skipped across the Entrance Hall and out on the grounds, on their way to Hogsmeade. Well, except for Ron, who limped, but no one cared about him, for they were going to the place of magic and wonder, where all dreams come true.
They were quite gay (the happy kind) until.....dun na na!!......disaster struck!!! Sirius lost his brand new hair clip, with pink flowers, and so they all dropped to their knees in search of it.
"I found it!!" Harry exclaimed, holding up a punk hair clip.
"No," Sirius sniffed, "that one is yours Harry. Remember? I gave it to you for Christmas last year. It matched the dress that came with it."
"Oh yeah.....you're right, sorry," Harry replied, and they continued searching.
Suddenly Malfoy began to violently choke and spasm on the ground.
"Oh my god!" Hermione said running over to him. "I'm gonna have to give him the heimlick manuever. Back up!!" She put her arms around his waist and pulled really hard and he coughed out something that went flying through the air hitting Ron in the side of the head as he finally caught up to them.
"Oh dammit!" He screamed. "What the hell was that?!?!" He picked up the pain inflicting piece of refuge off the ground. "It's a damned hair clip!!" he shouted, outraged.
"My hairclip!!!" Sirius screamed with delight. "Oh Ron, I love you!" and with that he kissed him on the cheek and skipped onward.
Hermione looked at Malfoy weirdly. "Why the hell did you eat that in the first place?"
He looked up at her through eyes that had the same expression of a six year old done something wrong. "M'sorry ma'am........." he mumbled.
"Don't tell me you're sorry! I wanna know why you ate it!!" Hermione demanded.
"M'sorry......." he replied.
"Damn it Draco!! Why the hell did you eat the damn hair clip?" she said through gritted teeth.
He looked at his fingernails, and then again up at her. "M'so-" but one look at her face made him stop, and he sighed.
~Funny music and screen waving announcing a fuzzy memory sequence~
Draco thought to himself, just before seeing a bright pink hairclip with flowers lying in the grass, which was obviously staring at him in a challenging way.
Draco looked behind him. No one was there, so the clip must be staring at him.
"You talking to me?........YOU talking to me?.........You must be talking to me 'cause there's no one else here!!! Oh yeah? Well I'll show you, you bastard!!!"
And he ate the clip. Just like that. He ate it. And then he started choking on it......
~End fuzzy memory sequence~
Draco looked up at everyone after finishing his story. "M'sorry........but he started it!!!!!"
"Good for you," Harry said blankly as he turned on his heel and walked away. But as he was walking he tripped over a lump object and fell flat on his face. "What the f-......Ron? Why are you on the ground?"
Ron who was lying there with his eyes wide open, was a very pasty color, and was twitching as he mumbled to himself really fast. Fred picked up a conveniently positioned bucket of water and chucked it on his brother.
"Thanks," Ron said as he wiped his wet hair off his face. "Harry. Your godfather kissed me. I am truly afraid. Hold me." With that he jumped into Harry's lap. Harry was disgusted. He pushed Ron back on the ground and went over to Ginny.
"I am NOT gay!!!" He said flatly. Then he snogged her to prove it.
"Well fine then," Draco said, and snogged Hermione, because he felt he should do something in light of the situation.
"Well fine then," George said, and snogged Fred, but they quickly stopped, realizing the intense grossness of the moment.
"Well fine then," Sirius said, and snogged Remus, and after a few minutes pulled away and said "You're not Janine, are you?" Remus shook his head.
He looked Sirius in the eye. "Sirius....it never would have worked between us darling....I'm sorry"
Ginny looked shocked, Hermione slapped Draco, Fred and George searched their pockets for alcohol, Remus backed away from Sirius as he cursed under his breath about needing glasses, and Ron cried.
A/N: So there ya go, hope you liked!! Please review!!! And we're REALLY SORRY for the long wait!! Love ya!!