A/N: We wanna thank all our reviewers and say that we're almost done w/this fic, but we plan on writing another very soon and it'll be great!! …we hope…neway…thanx for all the reviews and keep em coming!! We love you!!

Disclaimer: We don't own anything you recognize.

Chapter 9: Armadillos and Hair Dryers

Sirius saw Fred and George sneak off to the dollar general. He whipped out his watch and turned to Remus. "Wait for it......wait for it....." he said holding up his fingers, "8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1..." and they turned to the dollar store.

Fred came flying out of the door wearing cheap dollar store make-up and hair products. George came flying out immediately afterwards carrying a cheap dollar store slingshot. He turned and glared at the associate in the door.

"Despicable," he said glaring glaringly, "you suck!" He shot the man with the cheap dollar store slingshot.

Then he and Fred took off running. They skidded to a stop in front of Harry and Ginny.

"That's a nice look for ya', Fred," Harry sniggered.

"I know," Fred said tossing his hair.

"Oh, let me tell ya," Harry said.

"I know I'm dead sexy. George too."

"Yah," George said. "We just finished undergoing extensive testing by scientists from 23 different countries over the planet to see if we were real."

"Can two men be this perfect???" Fred said pointing to himself and his twin. "Is it genetically possible? Answer....yah."

"Conclusion...affirmative. I know we are positively beyond belief but you can stop pinching yourself!"

Harry just stared at them blankly. Ginny too. And Draco. Hermione continued to chase Ron cursing loudly about the collar, but as they ran in front of the store, Remus and Sirius stuck out their feet and tripped them up and they landed flat on their face. "Ouchies!!!" Ron said. Nobody cared.

"Hey," Draco said looking up at the sky. "Let's head back to the castle. Looks like it's gonna storm." Lightning flashed dramatically across the sky and thunder boomed shaking the ground. Everyone shuddered for dramatic effect.

As the group made their way back to the castle, it started to rain.

"Oh good," Ginny said. "I was feeling to dry."

~Back at Hogwarts~

Dumbledore was skipping merrily around the halls of the castle with his slinky when he heard a knock on the door. He skipped over to the door and opened it.

"You rang??"

"Hell yes, I rang!" Draco said knocking the old man down to get in the door. Everyone ran inside dripping from the downpour that just started. Lightning flashed. (A/N: PUAHAHA!)

They all sat in the front hall against the wall, tired from the jog back to Hogwarts in the rain.

Dumbledore walked by playing with a slinky. Everyone watched him walk by as he continued to play with the toy and not acknowledge their existence.

"I wish I had a slinky," Ron said.

"You never had a slinky??" Hermione asked astonished.

"We had part of a slinky..." Fred said.

"Yeah...but Fred straightened it." George said glancing at his brother.

Everyone sat around talking about slinkies for a while. But eventually everyone got bored with Hermione's nonsensical rambling about the physics of the slinky, and they tuned her out.

Turns out Hermione was a total dweeb and nobody actually cared about anything she said. Who knew?

"Hey," Draco said looking around him, "Does anybody remember what the author started this fic about??"

"Actually," Harry paused, rested cupped his chin in his forefinger and thumb, and looked up, appearing to be in deep thought. "No, sorry."

"Weren't we supposed to be solving a mystery or something??" Fred said realizing everybody was dressed like people from the game "Clue."

"Oh yeah!!" George said jumping up. "That's the ticket!!! We were supposed to be figuring out who the murderer is!!"

"Ok," Ginny said deciding to take matters into her own hands,

"There are three simple rules to this game. Rule 1: is look for clues....Rule 2: is to piece the clues together and solve the mystery."

Hermione looked at her confused. "What's rule three??"

"I forgot what rule three is," Ginny said shrugging.

"Well I guess we should split up then." Ron said. He spotted something shiny on the floor.

"Dude! A knut" Ron said running over to the change on the floor.

"It's glued in place, man. I already tried to get it." said Harry from a dark corner as he continued thumb wrestling with himself.

"Who glued knuts to the floor?" Ron asked befuzzled (A/N: I think I made that word up, but it's all good).

"I did," Fred answered walking over to where Ron fought with the change that was glued to the floor.

"Why the hell would you do something like that?" Ron asked getting angry.

"I don't feel the need to explain my art to you, Ron," Fred said defiantly.

"Ok," Draco said. "Hey...I think I had kept a record of the clues I had found..." he said as he dug in his pockets of his disgusting colored green vacuum salesman suit.

"Cha! Here it is!" he whipped out a notebook and began flipping through the pages. As he studied the clues he had found, nobody noticed Ron leave the room. Suddenly Draco jumped up and yelled out in excitement.

"I figured it out!!! I know who the murderer is!!!" He screamed. He held up his notebook. "I solved the mystery!!!"

"Who is it???" Fred said getting impatient.

"The murderer is Ron Weasle-" but before he could finish, he was shot in the back. He fell over bleeding.

"Ron Weasle-???" Harry said spazzing out. "He didn't finish!! Now we'll never know who the killer is!!!!!!" he fell to his knees and shook his fists at the ceiling as he screamed. Everyone shuddered for dramatic effect. "Why did it have to be Draco???"

"Would you have rather it had been me?" Ron said entering.

"Yes, actually," Harry said wiping his teary eyes with the back of his hand.

"Well," Ron said as his eyes began to tear up, "I hope that when I return, you will think better of me."

"That would depend on the matter of your return," Harry said.

"Umm, excuse me!" Fred said, "think you've got the wrong script there, bud." Ron and Harry glanced at the papers they were holding.

"Oh," Harry said laughing nervously. He looked at Ron. "You aren't Faramir, are you?" Ron shook his head.

"Crap!!" Hermione said completely ignoring Harry and Ron. "We have to figure this out!! We were so close!!" She walked over to Draco's bleeding corpse, and slapped him.

"Stupid bitch had to go and die on us NOW?!?!" Everyone stared at her in wonder.

She then pried the little notebook out of his dead lifeless fingers.

George snatched the notebook from Hermione and started flipping through the pages.

"Ok," He said waving his arms around, "Everybody pay attention. Our clues are: the color red.....a broken stick.....and ummm...." he said looking confused at a picture. "I think that's a rabbit."

Fred snatched the notebook from George. "Nonsense, George THAT is a tree!"

"It's a rabbit, Fred!" George said harshly.

"It's a TREE, George!!!"

The two twins started beating the crap out of each other and rolling around all over the floor.

"This is AWESOME!" Hermione said getting excited from the fight. She whipped a ziploc bag of popcorn out of her back pocket and began munching and enjoying the show. Ginny stared at her, bewildered and frightened.

"Wtf?" she said.

Hermione held up the bag, offering Ginny some popcorn, but Ginny declined. Hermione proceeded to share with the rest of the group.

Just then, an armadillo strolled on by, with little baby armadillos walking behind it. George and Fred stopped fighting.

"The sight of such beautiful creatures of the earth, still in such good health, brings tears to my eyes, and makes me want to skip jovially through a field of pink daisies!" Fred said, dabbing his moist eyes with a pink handkerchief. "Care to join me anyone?"

"Oh i love little animals...fore are they not but creatures adrift like us on this cosmic ocean we call life?" Fred replied.

"Guys, this is really serious," he said, blinking very largely and dramatically, and turning his head from one person to another. "We need to figure out who the murderer is, Draco is dead, and he might not be the last one," he again blinked very largely and dramatically, and turned his head from one person to another dramatically.

Ron came up behind Hermione and poked her arm. "Poke," he said.

Hermione was deep in thought, studying the clues.

He poked her again. "Poke."

"Go away Ron," was her reply.

Her poked her a third time. "Poke."

"Damn it Ron! I told you to go away!" and she slugged him in the eye.

He clutched his eye, before turning to face her. "You know, I'm really starting to develop a complex." He then ran out of the room to go cry like a baby.

He then ran out of the room to go cry like a baby. Fred dully noted that Ron was the only one in his gene pool to run like a girl.

"rrraaaaarrrrrrggggg," Harry said to Hermione.

"Yyyyyyaaaaaammmmmeeeelllleerrrgggg," Hermione replied.

"What the hell?" Fred said befuzzled.

Harry turned to Fred and placed his hands defiantly on his hips. "Excuse me, Fred. Hermione and I are trying to have a very IMPORTANT conversation. As you can see, it takes a very long time to say anything in old Entish. And we don't say anything unless it is worth taking a long time to say." George walked over and slapped Harry.

"Dammit, child! This is Harry Potter!! Get your lines straight!!" He then proceeded to walk off swinging his hips in a very beautacious manner.

"Uh uh, George!" Fred said snapping his fingers in George's face. "Stop right there! You did not just steal my signature catwalk move!!!"

George sensed a fight coming on. He leaned over and snatched Harry's glasses off his face and put them on. "You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would ya'?" he said laughing nervously. Fred then proceeded to slug his brother breaking Harry's glasses in the process. He grabbed the fragmented specs and handed them to Harry.

"Sorry, buddy."

Harry began to twitch nervously. "you evil sonuvabitch bastard!! I hope you rot!!!" he then rocked back and forth hugging the fragments of his specs and calling them the precious.

Fred kicked him, and Harry seemed to snap back to reality.

"I want the pink cupcake, damnit!!"

Well, almost.

Just then, both Fred and George pressed their fingers to their ears and began muttering. "Yes, mmhmm, right away, yes sir," Fred looked up at the rest of the group watching him, hit George's arm for attention and they moved away from the group, to continue their muttering.

"Alright, we'll be there immediately," Fred said, and then both he and George looked up.

"Well, uh" George began, before Fred cut in. "OH MY GAWD IT'S AN OOMPA LOOMPA!!" he shouted, pointing to the opposite wall. Everyone turned their hands, and Fred and George ran out of the room like jack rabbits on a hot day. Though I don't really know how jack rabbits run on a regular day, let alone a hot day.

After realizing there were no oompa loompas, they all turned back around and realized *surprise surprise* they were gone. So they stared at the door.

"I'm thirsty," Harry complained, and as he turned around, he noticed a randomly, yet conveniently placed fridge in the hall.

"Oh, look. A randomly yet conveniently placed fridge!" Harry remarked, as he walked towards the fridge. When he opened it, Seamus walked out of the fridge.

He casually strolled towards the doors of the hall, giving a little wave and smile to everyone in the hall, before turning around to look back at the fridge. A look of fear crossed his face. "Oh shit!" he exclaimed as he took off running towards the doors. Coming out of the fridge were about 20 SWAT looking guys, all chasing after Seamus.

As he reached the doors, he threw them open, and as he ran, he pulled a string just below his shoulder. Big bat wings shot out from his back, and he flew away, the SWAT team chasing after him.

The kids all ran to the door and watched Seamus fly away.

"Whoa," said Ghosty Draco. He spoke for all of them. After the stood there, staring blankly at the soring boy, for about 2 minutes, they realized it was still raining, and went back inside.

Harry shook his head off. He turned around. Then blinked multiple times for dramatic effect before his eyes grew wide and he spun around for a double take. "AHHHH!!! GHOSTY DRACO!!!!" He fainted. Ghosty Draco laughed.

Ron turned to look at Hermione and jumped 4 foot into the air. "Holy Shit! Hermione, the change from moist to dry air made your hair go POOF!!!" And it was true. Hermione's hair was like 8 times as big as normal.

"Dammit!" Hermione said stomping her foot. "I need my hair dryer." She crossed her arms and stuck out her bottom lip.

Dumbledore came over and smacked her in the back of the head.

"You kids today are pussies! Can't live with out your "electronic devices"! " he said doing quotation marks in the air with his fingers. "In my day we didn't have hair dryers!! If you wanted to blow dry your hair, you stood outside during a hurricane!! Your hair was dry but you had a sharp piece of wood driven clear through your skull! And we liked it!!! We looooved it!! Whoopy! I'm a human head kabob!"

Dumbledore breathed in and out many times before regaining his composure. "I shall now go play with my little pony," and stuck out his tongue before walking up the stairs.

"Well, that was certainly enlightening," Remus commented. And they all nodded. Then, Hermione punched Ron, and he cried.

A/N: So..that's chapter nine. Review please!! Love ya!