No ownership of the Hogan's Heroes characters is implied or inferred. Copyright belongs to others and no infringement is intended.

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Newkirk very gradually eased open the top of the tree stump exit to the emergency tunnel, making sure it moved only the slightest bit, and looked out. So far nothing. No sounds, no footsteps. He was about to widen the opening when he heard a whistle, and instinctively crouched lower, making the opening even smaller. Soon, he saw boots crossing in front of his eyes, and a German shepherd on a lead, sniffing the ground. He closed the lid and zipped back up to the barracks.

"No good, Colonel, the Krauts are still hovering around the exit."

Hogan crossed his arms and grimaced. "Swell." He started pacing the room. "We've got to get them away from there so we can get moving again. We've got to get to that ammo dump." And Schultz's family can't wait forever. More Gestapo means more chance of them getting caught before we can get them out.

"How about a diversion?" Carter piped up.

Hogan stopped pacing. "What do you mean?"

"You know, something to get them away from the tunnel. When they move out, we can move, too."

"We know what the word 'diversion' means, Carter," Kinch said. "What the Colonel wants to know is, what kind of diversion?"

Carter grinned sheepishly. "Oh, I don't know. I mean, I'm not usually the idea man." He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't think the Germans would just drive away from here."

Hogan started pacing again. "What if they did?" he wondered out loud. The others looked at him questioningly. "What if they did just drive out of here, and we went with 'em?"

"What do you mean, Colonel?" asked Le Beau.

Hogan stopped and faced the men. "A diversion just big enough to send them running far, far from here, maybe for good—or at least long enough for us to complete the rest of our mission. Newkirk, could you mimic Feldkamp's voice?"

"Ja, ze madman has quite an easy voice to imitate, Herr Colonel," Newkirk said almost perfectly.

Hogan smiled briefly. "Carter, what have you got that's small, powerful, and can be set on, say, a twenty minute timer?"

"I've got some charges I've been working on with gunpowder, Colonel. It packs quite a punch, boy—I mean, sir—and if you place it just right—"

"Perfect." Hogan stopped Carter's flow. "Here's what we're going to do."

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Hogan bid good night to the men of Barracks Three and started crossing the compound back to his quarters just as "lights out" was being called. Schultz came running up behind him as he drew his jacket collar up closer around his neck.

"Colonel Hogan, what are you doing out of the barracks? You know you should have been in your quarters by now," he said imploringly.

Hogan smiled and kept walking. "Just keeping good relations with the men, Schultz. You know how it is—the fellas want to play a little poker, they want their commanding officer to join in—" He stopped and let out a chuckle. "They seem to think officers have more money to lose. I hate to break it to them, but in a POW camp, we're all just as broke as each other!"

Schultz let out a groan. "Colonel Hogan, gambling by the prisoners is verboten!" he said through clenched teeth.

"Is it? Corporal Langenscheidt didn't seem to worry about it." Hogan watched, amused, as Schultz tried to erase any memory of this conversation, even as it happened. "As a matter of fact, I took him for fifty marks. He was on quite a losing streak tonight." Hogan gestured toward a car he hads just seen very slowly creep towards Klink's office. "What's going on there?" he asked casually. Good; that's the signal. Thanks to some mechanical trickery, this will be the car that goes out tonight!

Schultz looked. "That I do not know," he said solemnly. "But the Kommandant does not always take me into his confidence."

"That's a shame, Schultz—the German army could use more men like you." Hogan reached for the door to the barracks and turned to the guard. "Strong." He opened the door. "Brave." He went inside and faced Schultz, blocking him from coming inside. "Trusting." He straightened suddenly and dropped the sweetness from his voice. "We're all here, Schultz. G'night." And he shut the door.

Hogan turned around to his men, who were watching with interest, and made a face like a cheeky kid listening to a grownup's uproar about some naughtiness as Schultz started pleading loudly from the other side of the door. He checked to make sure everything was in place, then turned back and opened the door, smiling benignly. "Just kidding, Schultz, you can come in."

Schultz ambled in, trailing his rifle. "Jolly joker," he said. "You know the Kommandant makes me count you every night. And now that Colonel Feldkamp is around, he is even more anxious."

"I can understand that," Hogan said, crossing his arms uncomfortably.

Schultz started the count, and from behind him, Hogan nodded to his men. "Ein, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs…" As Schultz continued his rounds, Newkirk hopped from his spot once he was counted and quietly slipped to another spot in the room. "Dreizehn, vierzehn…" Schultz paused in front of Newkirk, thinking. "Vierzehn…" He looked behind him, where Newkirk had been earlier. "Englander, haven't I counted you already?"

Newkirk shook his head, standing stiffly as though at attention. "Of course not, Schultz."

Schultz screwed up his face as he thought. He looked around again. Hogan shrugged innocently. Schultz turned back to Newkirk. "Are you sure you weren't over there?" he asked, pointing to the spot where Newkirk had previously been standing.

"Now, really, Schultz; why would I be standing over here, if you'd already counted me over there? It's just that we British all look alike to you." Newkirk blinked a couple of times, long, staring blinks that made Schultz doubt himself.

Schultz shrugged his shoulders as if in defeat and finished the count. "All present, Colonel Hogan; now it is time for lights out."

"Told you, Schultz," Hogan said, smiling and pushing the guard out the door. "Nightie-night now. See you in the morning."

Schultz mumbled his good evenings and shuffled, still slightly bewildered, out the door. Hogan waited until he was sure the guard was not going to return, then prompted the group into action. "Kinch, Newkirk—down in the tunnel. Le Beau—you guard the door. Is Carter in place?"

"Oui, Colonel," Le Beau answered.

"Good. I'll head over to the motor pool to make sure no one fixes what we just broke!"

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Colonel Klink came flying out of his bedroom, pulling on a robe and still carrying the book he had been reading when the telephone had interrupted his leisure time. "Yes, yes, Colonel Klink speaking. Heil Hitler…."

"Klink, this is Colonel Feldkamp, where are you, you fool?" Down in the tunnel under Barracks Two, Kinch was trying hard not to laugh as Newkirk took on the poses and demeanor of Feldkamp in his attempts to get the voice just right. "I have been waiting for you!"

Klink fumbled with his monocle. For some reason, even though he was on the phone, he felt more comfortable hiding behind his eyepiece. "Waiting, Colonel Feldkamp? I don't understand."

Newkirk stiffened and started gesturing wildly. "I am expecting you to meet me, Klink—three miles east of Stalag 13. We are expanding our search for the saboteurs. Do you expect me to do this all by myself, Klink?" Newkirk lay a stiff finger under his nose and quivered it as Klink fumbled an answer. Kinch stifled a laugh.

"Ja, Klink, you get your car and you come out to meet me, schnell!"

Klink sighed. "Yes, Colonel. Whatever you say." He looked longingly at his book, and thought of the cup of cocoa going cold on his nightstand. "Where will you be?"

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"There goes Klink," Le Beau announced about ten minutes later. He turned back to the others from the door, where he had been keeping a lookout. "Schultz is driving him."

"Good," Hogan said. "Now all we have to do is wait for Carter to come back and we've got it made."

"Will he be safe, Colonel?" Le Beau asked, always worried for the man he saw as an innocent genius.

Hogan paused. The thought was always uppermost in his mind, too. But Carter had so willingly crawled into the trunk of the car when it was moved to the front of Klink's quarters, and so easily avoided any detection, that Hogan believed the young man had to have some kind of guardian angel working overtime looking after him. Hogan worked on convincing himself that if anyone could manage a miracle escape, it would be Carter, and answered, "With Schultz as a chauffeur? The most he'll have to worry about is carsickness."