A/N: yeah…I'm just not even gonna try and make an excuse this time. We're just really slow at this I guess. I suppose I could blame it on summer reading, which by the way, I still have 2 1/2 books and only a week…yay for procrastination!! Yeah…so here ya go, chapter 13…ENJOY!!…and REVIEW!! I love you!!
Chapter 13:
Wet Willies and Dr. Peppers
"Ohmigod! Harry!" Remus yelled beating on the wall. "Harry! Can you hear me?"
Harry looked around his surroundings in surprise. "Umm…not quite… "
Those on the other side of the wall got closer to it and yelled louder. "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?"
Harry nodded, "Yep, I can hear ya just fine."
"Good," someone replied.
"Are you okay?!" muffled voices yelled from the other side of the wall.
"I'm fine...this place is creepiness" He looked around.
A random torch hung in a holder on the wall. He grabbed it and went to get a closer look at the stuff that lined the walls. "Hmmm...brain in a jar......puffkins, how cute?......kleenexs.....ooo! a book!" he pulled the book from it's shelf and blew the dust off the cover. "umm...the joy of cooking....umm...what's this last word?" He took his sleeve and wiped the dust off. "ahh! that's better. The Joy of Cooking Weasley. Sounds intriguigi-OH SHIT!" he ran back to the wall.
"Aren't I lucky that I had that lipstick all over my fingers?" he found the lipstick stained block and pushed it. The wall spun around knocking everyone flat on their ass.
"Ohmigod! Check this out! The Joy of Cooking Weasley!!!" He said as he held the book up for everyone to see.
Hermione came and patted him on the back. "Harry dear, that says chicken.....The Joy of Cooking Chicken."
"Oh yes," he said rubbing his neck nervously, "I meant chicken. Uhhh...We should go look inside this room."
Everyone stood in front of the wall as he pushed the button. Ron grabbed the torch and led the way across to a door. He slowly reached out to the handle. He turned around to look at everyone then grabbed the door briskly and swung it open. Inside was a slow descending staircase. Everyone slowly made their way down the stairs. Ginny saw a rat and screamed and jumped on Harry's back.
"Please don't drop me! Dear god I love you!"
"Don't you do that. Don't you say your goodbyes. Not yet. Do you understand me? You're gonna get out of here. You're gonna go on. You're gonna make it. You're gonna die an old woman. Warm in her bed. Doing this stupid, murder mystery game, was the best thing that ever happened to me. It brought me to you and I'm thankful for that, Ginny. You must promise me that you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens. Promise me now, Ginny!"
"I promise Harry.."
"Don't let go!"
"Never! I'll never let go!"
"CUT!!" Sirius all of a sudden yelled, turning to Harry and Ginny.
"CRAP!" he said, pointing at Harry. "CRAP!!" he sad, pointing at Ginny. "Not too bad," to Ron.
"Now this time, I want you all to pretend that you are swimming through a pool of peanut butter. Only don't swallow, you could choke and die. Annnnd, ACTION!!" Sirius said, stepping back from the three.
Harry, Ron, and Ginny began to move very slowly in circles for a few minutes, before they realized what in the hell they were doing, and that everyone was laughing at them. Ginny punched Sirius in the stomach. "Bitch," she spat at him.
"But Ginny," Sirius coughed, "don't you realize that I love you?"
"Yeah...but I love Harry."
"What?" Harry and Ron said at the same time.
"I do...I love you Harry. I love everything about you. I love that you get cold when it's seventy one degrees out, I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts...yeah! just like that!" she said pointing to his face as he looked at her like she was insane. "I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes"
"I don't wear perfume..." he said but she ignored him and went on.
"I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Years Eve."
"it's not New Years Eve.." he tried once more. No avail as she went on.
" I came here tonight because when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible." She looked at him thoughtfully.
"That's the speech from When Harry Met Sally..." Ron said.
"Fine! Bitch! Way to crush a dream!" Ginny said. Ron stared. Harry stared. Ginny cried.
Then they started walking again. Fred stuck his index finger in his mouth and walked next to Hermione.
"WET WILLIE!!!!!!" he cried, sticking his finger in her ear.
Hermione became furious, she turned to him, with a red face.
"You are so immature!!" she yelled at him. She stuck her finger in her mouth, and walked next to Ron.
"WET WILLIE!!" she yelled, sticking her finger in his ear.
Ron turned to her, with a look of disgust as he rubbed his ear. "You are so immature!" he scolded. He stuck his finger in his mouth, and inched over, next to Harry.
"WET WILLIE!!" he shouted, as he stuck his finger in his ear.
Harry's eyes narrowed as he turned on Ron. "You are so immature!!" he yelled.
Harry stuck his finger in his mouth, and moved over to walk with Ginny.
"WET WILLIE!!!!" he shouted, sticking his finger in her ear.
"Ugh!!" she said, rubbing her ear, "You are so immature!!"
She fell back to walk with Remus, and licked her finger. Then she stuck her finger in his ear.
"WET WILLIE!!!"
"Ewwwww Ginny!! You are so immature!!" Remus licked his finger, and hurried to catch up with George.
"WET WILLIE!!!" as he stuck his finger in his ear.
"Oh, honestly!!" George said, rubbing his ear and attempting to get the spit out of his ear. "You all are so immature!! I swear…."
He held back, so that he was walking behind Fred, and then pantsed him.
"Dammit George!" Fred cried as everyone laughed at his purple bunny boxers. He reached down and pulled up his pants. "You're so mean. And that outfit makes you look fat." He stormed down the hall to the door at the end.
"Knock Knock!" he screamed as he banged on it.
"Who's there?" came from the other side.
"Alltell"
"Alltell who?"
"Alltell mom if you don't let me in!"
"Umm..." George scratched his head, "I don't get it...."
Suddenly the door flew open and a disgruntled Percy stood on the inside. "That was a low blow, man. Bringing mom into this." He turned on his heel and went back inside followed by everybody else.
"This is my lair, it's where I come to conduct experiments, and play with my teletubby dolls….muahahaha!!" Percy laughed, maniacally.
"Aw, can it loser, no one likes you!" The voice came from a chair, that was facing the wall opposite them. The chair swiveled around and there sat…dun na NA! Sirius.
"Oh, psh….it's just Sirius guys," Fred said, walking over to the fridge and pulling out a Dr. Pepper. He then broke into song and everyone joined him.
"The taste of Dr. Pepper, the taste of originality. Salutes individuality, and gives life a personality!! Be you! Do what you do! Be you! Nothing's better, Dr. Pepper!!"
Then they all stopped their singing and dance routine to match, and there was a lull in the room as everyone just kind of stared at each other.
Then they all stopped their singing and dance routine to match, and there was a lull in the room as everyone just kind of stared at each other.
"I knew I shouldn't have showed you guys that muggle television. Obviously we have all been watching it too much." Hermione thought aloud.
"I don't wanna grow up," George said all of a sudden.
"That was random," Sirius replied spinning in circles in his chair. "Wheee!"
"I know it was. But really."
"George, I don't think it would be physically possible for you or Fred to grow up," Remus replied from the other side of the room.
"Yeah. You're probably right. But, I don't wanna grow up," George said again.
"Cause I'm a toys-r-us kid," Harry sang.
"NO MORE THEME SONGS BITCH!" Hermione screamed. "AHHHHHHH!!!" She threw a stapler at him. He cried.
Percy walked across the room to his big poof chair in front of the fire place. Which happened to be pink plush.
"You are such a fag, Percy," Ron said going to the fridge and getting a yoo hoo.
"Oh shit," Percy said in that Oh-I-Know-You-Didn't tone. Ron and Harry laughed. Percy pulled out a gun.
"Suck on this," he pulled the trigger and barely missed Ron's shoulder by centimeters.
"Shit!" Ron yelled hitting the floor.
"It was you!" George said. "You're the murderer aren't you?! You killed Draco!!!"
"Yes! It was me! It's always been me! Mwahahaha!" Percy laughed falling back into his chair.
"But why would you do it?" Fred asked.
"Why not, my equal superior?" Percy simply replied. A white ferret ran to him from the other side of the room and he picked it up and began to stroke it.
"That makes no sense..." Ron replied.
"Silence!" Percy screamed standing abruptly dropping the ferret which bit him on the ankle before running off into the darkness. "I will not tolerate your insolence, brother! It's always been about you! Mum and Dad always liked you best! Everyone always talked about you!"
"Just cause I was friends with Harry. They never cared about me," Ron said.
"Boo frickidy hoo!" Percy screamed. "I had the best grades out of all of us and I didn't get diddly squat! All I ever heard was Ron this and Ron that! Ron, Ron, RON!!!!"
"Brady Bunch moment.." Fred said to George as they giggled. "Percy, you're such a girl."
Percy cried.
And then a sharp whistle pierced the air and captain crunch burst through the wall.
"Crunchatize me, captain!" Percy screamed.
So the captain turned him into cereal and ate him.
END
A/N: Like it? Love it? Hate it? (You better not have..) Let us know in a REVIEW!! Love ya!!