AN: I have to admit that when I started this story, I never realized where it was going to go. Strangely, this was one of my original story ideas - long before I wrote "Remembering What Never Happened," yet for some reason I kept pushing it aside. have to admit, I'm glad I starting writing it. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I really appreciate it.
Rogue quietly watched Kitty run from the room, making no move to stop her because she understand exactly what she had run. Kurt, however still appeared to be confused. "Vhat's vrong vith Keetty?" he asked.
"Nothin'," she replied, "I think she's just tired or somethin'."
Kurt's brow tightened as it seemed he was trying to understand what she had said. However, he didn't comment but instead merely settled back on the pillows. Rogue couldn't help but notice that his eyes were more closed than before and less focused. "Are ya tired?" she questioned.
"Yes," he answered softly, "but…but it's hard to breathe…and my head…hurts."
Rogue glanced over at the clock and noted the time. After all, it was okay for Kurt to nap. "Why don't you try and get some rest," she offered.
"Okay," Kurt responded, painfully childlike.
His eyes closed and quietly he drifted into a light sleep while Rogue stood over him, watching. She briefly considered using the call button to see if they could Kurt some pain medication but quickly decided against it. Rest was probably the best thing for him now so she didn't want to anything to wake him. Instead, she sat down in a nearby chair and watched him while he slept.
It was hard to see Kurt like this - a shell of who he was. She was closer to Kurt than probably she was to anyone else and he had told her things that she doubted the others knew. However, it was doubtful if he even remembered that now or if they would ever have that opportunity again.
That's what you get an acidic voice within her whispered for letting yourself get close to someone. That's what happens every time you let down your guard: you just get hurt.
As much as it hurt, she had to admit there was some truth to that bitter voice. She couldn't let anyone get close to her physically, but she had also learned to keep people at a distance emotionally. It was just safer that way. Yet, somehow Kurt had made it past all her defenses and walls an no matter how many times she tried to push him away, he was still there with a smile and a kind word. When they had found out about how their pasts had crossed - namely with Mystique, Kurt had been seemingly been thrilled and ready to claim her as his sister. Rogue had not been so happy, but not because of Kurt but rather it was Mystique that upset her. However, she just wasn't ready for any close connections with anyone yet.
But Kurt was not so easy to say no to. He was there, ready to be a friend and a brother, as if he knew that despite her protests to the contrary that's what she need.
Yet look where it got you. You're just letting yourself be hurt - AGAIN!
"Shut up," she mumbled, trying to silence the voice. Kurt stirred slightly in his sleep and Rogue checked the clock as she vowed to be quieter. He had only been asleep for 12 minutes.
It was stupid to blame Kurt. It wasn't his fault that he got hurt and it wasn't his fault that it was upsetting her so badly. Maybe it was true that if she hadn't allowed herself to be so close to Kurt, she wouldn't be hurting the way she was. But that seemed like a poor payoff for her. He had been there when she needed him. Sometimes, she would stand with him on his balcony and they would talk. He confessed things to her that she doubted he had told anyone - about his past and things that had happened while he was growing up.
That was the thing that always perplexed and amazed Rogue. When he talked to people, he was always ready with a smile and a joke. Yet, deep down he was far more complex than that. He had gone through a lot and with his introspective and sensitive personality, he still thought about his past quite often. He could be depressed from time to time and he struggled with issues of self-worth and confidence.
Yet, he wasn't bitter.
She always bitter and angry it seemed like. She wanted scream at the world until it could all those terrible things that she had felt, but Kurt wasn't like that. He wanted everyone around him to feel comfortable and at ease - he didn't want them to feel like him. His anger, when he felt it, was brief and shallow.
And he never seemed to be bitter.
"How do you do that?" she whispered, barely audible.
Just then the door opened and the curtain was pulled back slightly allowing Hank to reenter the room. "Where's Kitty?" he asked.
"She left," Rogue replied, unsure if she should elaborate.
"Oh," he responded with a slight nod of his head. He looked over at Kurt. "How long has be been asleep?"
"Twenty-one minutes," she answered.
"Well wake him up in a minute," he said, "Why don't you go on up to room? I'm going to stay with him for awhile and I'll probably need you to sit with him some more later."
Rogue thought about arguing, but knew what he was saying. She wanted to be there for Kurt when he needed - like he had been for her so she would go for now but would be back later. Quietly, she left the infirmary but instead of returning to her room she walked outside. She expected it to be dark and overcast, but it was still as bright and sunny as this morning when Scott and Kurt had unassumingly drove away.
She wanted to yell - to rage at the world. How dare it look so beautiful when something so ugly had happened. How dare it! The bitterness rose with her, thick in her throat.
How unlike Kurt, she couldn't help but think.
Well, there's part 4. I really am not sure yet what part 5 will be like. I do have another part planned for Kitty and Amanda is scheduled to make an appearance, but I don't thing that will happen until at least part 6. Still, I'm not sure yet. I hope everyone liked this part!