No ownership of the Hogan's Heroes characters is implied or inferred. Copyright belongs to others and no infringement is intended.
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"Feldkamp is gone," Hogan said to the others. "And from what Klink says, he's going to concentrate his investigation elsewhere. So it's time to get our visitors on their way. Kinch, radio London; tell them we need a plane tonight. And get in touch with the Underground. We're going to need Schnitzer to get them out in the dog truck."
"Right, Colonel," Kinch said, and he took off at once to complete his assigned tasks.
Alida and Ludwig, now sitting at the table of the common room in the barracks, simply watched in silence as the events started to unfold around them. "Le Beau, I need you to make sure Schultz's attention is fully on anything except the dog pen when Schnitzer comes in tonight."
"Oui, Colonel. I will get right to work on my strudel." Le Beau turned to Alida. "Or does he prefer potato pancakes?"
"Oh, potato pancakes!" Alida said at once. Then, realizing what was being discussed, her expression changed to one of confusion, and a bit of regret.
"Je regrette," Le Beau apologized. "It's just that we know the best way to get your brother-in-law's attention is with food."
"Your cooking is very good," Alida said quietly, unsure how to react.
"Merci," Le Beau answered.
"I'm afraid you won't get a chance to say goodbye to your brother," Hogan said. "I'm sorry; it's regrettable, but it can't be helped. If he sees you here, we'll all be in great danger, and I can't let that happen."
"We understand, Colonel," Ludwig said, serious. "I heard he spoke with you about us today. What did he say?"
"He knows you're not at home," Hogan said, uncomfortable. "He was worried the Gestapo had come for you; he thought you might be trying to get to England to see your daughter. He doesn't know you're here."
Ludwig nodded and took Alida's hands in his. "Colonel—one more thing," Newkirk piped up. Hogan looked at him, glad to interrupt his own thoughts. "With the radio silence and being confined to barracks and all, sir… well, the men took advantage of the time and finished the tunnel to the dog pen."
"What?" Hogan said. "But that's impossible; there was so much work to be done! Why didn't you tell me before?"
"It's only just finished, sir. The men knew you wanted to use it, so they've been doing it in shifts and on the quiet, sir. It's not perfect yet, but it'll get the job done. The exit is under one of the doghouses."
Hogan grinned, thinking of some poor dog being startled by a man coming up from underneath it. "Fantastic. Where's the dirt?"
"All brought out to the other tunnels, waiting to be disposed of properly, gov'nor. No one took any chances, sir. Honest."
Hogan pushed his cap back on his head and grinned. "Well, that's one worry out of the way. Now all we have to do is make sure Schnitzer's continued training the dogs to like us!"
"I do not understand, Colonel," Ludwig said.
"The tunnel you've been in is just one in a series, Ludwig. We have others. And since we were planning to smuggle you out in the dog truck, the boys have made sure the tunnel under the dog pen was completed in time. The local vet changes the dogs so they don't get too friendly with the prisoners. But our local vet makes sure that the dogs love civilians…and Allied uniforms."
"They should; they've sure seen enough of them," Carter grinned.
"And he does a bit of Underground work on the side. For fun." Hogan smiled at the Schultzes' astonished faces. "Le Beau, what's on the menu for Heidi, Bismarck, Fritz and Wolfgang?"
"I am sure I will find something acceptable to them, Colonel," Le Beau answered.
"Good. Nothing worse than a fussy killer dog."
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"London says it can't have the plane ready till tomorrow, Colonel," Kinch reported, reluctantly.
Hogan slammed his hand down on his desk. "Swell!"
"Sorry, Colonel."
Hogan sighed and turned to Kinch. "Not your fault, Kinch. Contact Schnitzer and tell him to be ready tomorrow night instead. Unless London suddenly decides to declare a public holiday and makes us wait again."
"What do we do now, then, Colonel?"
Hogan shook his head, resigned. "Tell Ludwig and Alida that it's off for tonight. We'll try again tomorrow. Meanwhile we'll have a run down the new tunnel just to check it out and see how it goes. Le Beau can stop his cooking."
"Are you kidding? He wouldn't stop even if the war was over."
Hogan shrugged. "Then we'll all have a great dinner tonight instead. Setting for seven, please, garcon."
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"Are you sure we should be up here, Colonel Hogan?" asked Alida that night, as she and Ludwig sat at the large table in the common room. Le Beau was passing out plates filled with delicious-smelling food that he had spent many hours making.
"Can't think of any place else I'd rather have a meal of this caliber," Hogan said, opening up a cloth napkin that Carter handed him as he continued his own task of laying the place settings. "Unless it's a gourmet restaurant in Paris…or Mom's kitchen in Connecticut." He looked at the dish before him and inhaled appreciatively. "Louis, this smells great."
"Amazing what you can do with just a can of Spam and a few potatoes," Newkirk quipped.
Le Beau started spouting in French, then realized he was in mixed company. "Oh, pardonnez-moi, Madame Schultz," he said.
Alida smiled. "That is quite all right, Corporal. I am no stranger to a lively time at dinner... I grew up in a house full of boys."
Carter was suddenly inspired. "I grew up in a houseful of people, too. But I mean it wasn't just boys. After all, we had my mom there, too, and our dog Angel—she was a girl. And once in awhile my Uncle Amos would come and visit—well, he wasn't a girl, of course, but he added to the number of the people in the house. And—"
Suddenly Carter's patter was cut off by a dollop of potato hitting him on the cheek. Stunned, Carter just blinked as it slid off his cheek and down onto his plate. He looked around him; Newkirk was grinning.
"Now that's more like the way it was at my house, mate." Newkirk threw an apologetic look toward Hogan, who just sighed and shook his head, like a den mother who'd lost control over her beloved cubs. "Sorry, gov'nor. Just got caught up in the moment."
"Newkirk," Hogan said, "haven't I taught you anything?" Hogan very slowly lowered his fork to his plate. It was time for them all to relax and break the tension that had been building over the last few days. "You are sitting here, with guests for dinner, no less, and all you can do is fling your vegetables across the table?"
Newkirk lowered his eyes like a chastised child. "Sorry, Colonel."
But Hogan kept on. With a glance at Alida, who was starting to suppress a smile, and Ludwig, who wasn't bothering to hide his, Hogan said, "When you were growing up, did your family think it was acceptable to waste food like that? We need to be prudent, Corporal. We are in a prison camp. Food is not always easy to come by, and Corporal Le Beau worked hard making this meal for us all."
"Yes, sir."
"If you're going to start a food fight, Corporal Newkirk," Hogan said, continuing to play with his fork, "you're going to have to learn to do it right!" Suddenly, Hogan's fork was in the air and projecting a small piece of meat at Newkirk's shirt. The Colonel then went for a potato, and a carrot, as Newkirk called out in surprise and quickly went for his own plate. "You have to use your meat, too!"
The assaults were soon coming fast and furious. Even Le Beau, who initially balked at the idea of anyone offending the food he had prepared, quickly dissolved into laughter, happy that Hogan had found a way to let everyone unwind and release their pent-up anxieties. And when he found himself assaulted with his own creations, he aimed straight back at the offender. Ludwig and Alida at first simply observed, then found themselves being pelted as well, and joined in, with Alida giggling girlishly as she made Hogan her target.
The noise grew to a crescendo, and Hogan was just starting to call for decorum, when a sudden cry from near the door brought them all to an abrupt stillness. "Schultz is coming!"
Hogan stood up at once and took charge, all lightness instantly forgotten. "Kinch, get them down in the tunnel. Olsen, Barnes—take the Schultzes' places at the table. The rest of you make sure there's no trace of them up here. Now break it up. Fast."
Without a word, the men started to obey. Hogan wiped away a bit of potato that had clung to his eyebrow, and moved swiftly toward the door. He turned and watched as Kinch opened the entry to the tunnel, and started helping Alida down. Ludwig was about to follow when the Hogan felt pressure on the other side of the door as someone tried to open it.
"Open the door!" came Schultz's voice.
Hogan kept his weight against the door and looked toward Kinch. Ludwig was still heading down, and looked toward Hogan, startled. "Hang on, Schultz; it's stuck!" Hogan called, pushing with all his might to keep the door shut.
As Ludwig's head disappeared, Hogan lost the battle. Kinch was still pushing the release mechanism for the bunk to fall back into place when Schultz burst through with all his weight, hurling Hogan across the room and into another bunk. Hogan just stayed not moving, breathing heavily, and keeping his full attention on the guard.
"There! That was terrible," Schultz declared. "Suppose there was a fire and you boys were trapped—" Schultz's voice trailed off as he saw the bunk move and the blankets neatly fall down on top of it. "What… was that?"
Hogan felt a sudden chill as a sense of fear swept through the room. The game is up.