Author's note: There is a scene in this chapter that comes close to an R rating, and may disturb some of you or not leave the chapter on a high note to you- I'm not sure if that will be the case, but I want to cover my basis and make sure what happens near the end of this part does not make you too disturbed or upset.
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There are three realms in the afterlife that everybody knows about: Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. Heaven? Countless movies, stories, tales, and fanfictions have been told about life in Heaven, including this one. Hell? Hell's been glorified by a number of satanists and action movies, and the town of South Park has been visited at least twice by Satan himself. The whole world knows all about the places and players that reside in Heaven and Hell- but as for Purgatory? You'd be hard pressed to find anything about that place which isn't from the Bible. All you'll hear about Purgatory is that it's where people who kill themselves go to rot for eternity, so what else is there to tell?
Purgatory certainly wasn't a fun place to look at, that was for sure. In fact, there really wasn't anything in it at all. It was a wide barren black wasteland without a house or plants or any attractive scenery or skylight- the entire skyline was completly black 24 hours a day. The ground itself was made with lava right beneath it, and if anyone broke the ground lava would be shown and someone could easily throw another person into it. It wouldn't kill him or her since you can't die in the after life, but being stuck in lava for a few days would really be a major agonizing pain. Many bodies had been put into lava and had stayed there after the ground was covered up again, and they were never seen again despite the occasional noises heard underground. But since Purgatory was just a dark, desolate place filled with suicidal souls, no one really came up to control this rabble and their activities involving lava or other such things. Until about several years ago, but we'll get to that later.
The souls in Purgatory survived with the occasional food and drink given to them by Jesus in his bi-monthly visits to the poor. But since their dictator came along, now they could only get sustinance and the energy to do anything with his permission and "generosity" They had it hard enough without any leaders or dictators, but now their hard living had just gotten ridiculous. All they did was lie around in the vast void of the land, sleep on the ground with lava below it- but the only difference with this dictator around was that they occasionally had to be slaves and put together the only building in the whole land- a giant mountain top that overlooked everything, provided the only light in the whole area, and let the dictator see everything that was going on. At this point in the day[although with the dark sky and dark everything, there was no sense of time in Purgatory, unlike in Heaven], the slave work was done for the day and the people were about to receive their meal for the day.
Actually, it wasn't much of a meal. It consisted of the souls of Purgatory surrounding the tall but slightly thin mountain top where the dictator lived. Then the dictator would throw various scraps of food to the ground and the people would fight each other to get them. Occasionally the fights would get so heated that they tried to crack the ground open and throw their opponents into lava, and those were the dictator's favorite type of fights. But no one could see him as he was on the highest floor of the mountain, and looking down at them through the highest window that no one could see through. With that, the window opened and the unseen dictator's scraps of food were thrown out, then they landed on the ground.
The fights for these small pickings bordered on the epic, and this was no exception. When the dust settled and the mass fighting ended, the ground wasn't cracked open and lava was not needed. Only about 10-20 souls out of the thousands of people in Purgatory were able to get food. There normally would have been millions of people there, but a lot of people were useless to the dictator since they couldn't work, therefore he had them put into Hell with Satan's blessing- as if Satan had a choice in the matter.
One of those souls that got food knew the stories of why Satan didn't have a choice. He knew why this dictator was allowed to do whatever he wanted without God or Satan getting in his way.
He knew why Saddam Hussain could run things this way- but Stan Marsh was, as usual, too overcome with thinking about what Wendy was up to right now to care.
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Stan only remembered that people who kill themselves don't go to Heaven about a second before he died. Because he had forgotten that until a second before it was too late, he had spent the last 4 months paying for his mistake in the worst imaginable way. All his life was good for now was to hang around with the other suicide cases of the world, often get chosen to be one of Saddam's slaves for the day, and think about what Wendy was doing now. At the time he was finishing the two or three pieces of food that he fought 20 people to get, he figured Wendy was in Heaven and having too much fun with the dead intellectuals of the world to remember him.
He rarely talked to anyone and no one talked to him. Luckly a few people who had killed themselves in the last 3 months had heard of Stan and why he did what he did, so they left him be. Which was more than could be said for the dictator himself, Saddam. He knew all too well about Stan's special relationship with Wendy and how it ended and how Stan pathetically tried to get it back. He also knew all about Stan being one of the bravest kids in South Park and how much trouble those kids were, so he couldn't very well let him have high spirits and think he didn't have to do what Saddam said. Therefore, Stan usually got the toughest work on certain days, just to be safe.
As Stan finished his small "dinner", he heard to hear a familar sound. A familar marching sound. The two and fro march of Saddam's new Imperial Army. Those who Saddam deemed worthy enough to not be mere slaves were made into his special army that did his meanial jobs for him. Two perfect long rows of trained and almost brainwashed Saddam loyalists were marching to the entrance of his mountain top home. They had been asked to travel to Hell and aquire some special resources, and judging from the fact that they were carrying accesories with them, the outing seemed to be successful. The door to the mountain opened and the two rows marched in with perfect timing and precision. Once they were all in the door was closed- but everyone could clearly hear the outraged voice of Saddam Hussain a minute later.
"Did you think I was just fucking with you?!! Did you think I was playing a late April Fools joke when I told you to get my old dildos?! Do you fucking think you can get away with not doing your job and only get a fucking slap on the wrist?!"
Before the poor soul being yelled at could respond, the door was opened and this person was thrown out of the mountain. One of Saddam's other loyalists then came out and grabbed him so he couldn't escape when he came out. As was required, the rest of the people, Stan included[though he still minded doing this]bowed down when their self elected dictator, Saddam Hussain, came out to give his punishment.
Saddam, as always, wore his gray Iraqi clothes and still had the beard he had grown ever since he was sent here. Every soul on Earth, Heaven, Hell, and in Purgatory knew who he was and either feared him, mocked him, or both. He was perhaps the most infamous being who ever lived, since at least Hitler knew his place and didn't mess with God or Satan like Saddam had done when he died. The affair between Satan and Saddam that ended with the near conquest of Earth was legendary and known to everyone, and it made people sick when they heard the full story of what Saddam liked to do with his "little creampuff" But then he was sent to live with Mormons and God forever to really make him pay- yet after a while, he had done the impossible and defeated the Mormons and their wholesome goodness.
After that, it wasn't hard for him to drive God so crazy and keep him so busy that God wanted nothing more to do with him either. But since Satan didn't want him back, the two agreed that he would be stuck in Purgatory forever and allowed to do whatever he wanted- and he literally was allowed to do anything without God or Satan's objection, because none of them ever wanted to get in his way or see him again. It gave Saddam unlimited power in Purgatory which he had used for the last 5 years, and he could ask God and Satan for any favor he wanted just by threatening to come back and live with either of them again- they had never refused him when he made that threat. But now that one of his flunkies did not do his job during his latest extortion from Satan, he was mad enough to give him a really hot punishment.
Saddam took a pitchfork Satan was forced to give him 2 years ago and stuck it into the ground. With all his strength, he used the fork to take a chunk of the ground off, revealing a pool of lava in it's place. He only needed to nod his head for his competant follower to lift the failure up and throw him into the lava. Before he could swim back up, Saddam put the fork back down and covered the hole with the chunk of ground still stuck on it. He then took out some super strong glue and glued the ground back together, so that when he took the fork out, the ground did not move and stayed in place like it had never been taken out at all. The poor man was now stuck below and inside the lava forever, and death could never ever relieve the hideous pain of being burned alive, like it didn't for the 150 other people Saddam had put down there over the years. Once he saw that everyone saw this demonstration of his power, he was satisfied and prepared to go back in- until he noticed Stan watching him. Remembering that it was his time to have Stan "visit" him, he had his loyal follower grab him and take him inside the mountain for a "chat".
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"Hey Stanny baby, how goes old tricks?" Saddam asked once Stan was taking into his living room on the first floor. Thanks to his extortion of God and Satan over the years, he had enough materials to put together a very fancy living room with couches and a fireplace and lightbulbs. "I saw how you fought those other animals out there today, you're getting to be quite impressive during dinner time!"
"Is that really what you wanted to talk to me about?" Stan said with a little carelessness, which he swore to limit from then on. Saddam had always been evil, but before he came here he was funny as well, almost like a comic relief villain with all his gay jokes and suggestions to relax. But since he came here he was less comical and was more evil, so without that much of a sense of humor, he was not someone to tick off here. Stan hoped his off the cuff remark wouldn't tick him off, and it didn't look like it had. He just said, "Just wanted to see how you were doing, how you're getting along with the others, seeing how much you miss a certain bitch girl, the usual stuff." Now Stan was the one that was about to be, well, a little more than ticked.
"I told you to stop calling her a-" Saddam knew what he was gonna say, but he was in no mood to hear it, so he karate chopped him in the Adam's Apple to shut him up. Stan coughed very violently as Saddam started talking. "Guy, I rule Purgatory, and technically since I have God and Satan's balls in a blender, I rule the whole afterlife. I can do anything and say anything and no one can stop me. So don't tell ME TO STOP SAYING ANYTHING!!!" That last yell effectively proved how much more evil Saddam was than comical, so he backed away with satisfaction. Stan continued to cough though, so Saddam decided to get a few more words in.
"You know, with one call to Satan I can get Widmark out of Heaven and let him gloat about how you'll never see the bi- I mean, Wendy again. You wanna go on insulting me and give me an excuse to do that, cause I will be happy to do it!" Stan finished coughing and shook his head no. "All right then, now maybe we can have a nice talk." Saddam had his guard take Stan to the couch and they let him lie down and rub his throat as Saddam sat next to him to talk.
"You know what gives me a good laugh? That file on you that I made God give me when you first got here. It says that if you hadn't killed yourself, you would have been to Heaven in about 5 years after drinking too much on the 5'th anniversary of your girl's death." Saddam laughed since all twisted looneys find tragedy like that funny. "I'm sorry, it's just really funny! All you needed to do was survive 5 years and you would have been with her for all eternity, but you were so fucking impatient that you just had to go now! And look where you are as a result, stuck here forever with no way out! Ain't that a bitch?" Saddam kept laughing before he rubbed it in some more. "I mean, you must have know Widmark was stuck in Purgatory after he killed himself, if you had just remembered that earlier then you could have avoided this! That's why this is so great, because this is all your own frigging fault! And I thought evil things I did were funny, but this is priceless!"
"I'd say I already knew that, but that wouldn't make a difference to you, would it?" asked Stan horsely.
"Nope, I haven't even gotten to how your parents moved away and how depressed your boyfriend's been since!" Since Saddam liked to make jokes inferring that Stan was really gay and he wanted to screw his friends, Stan figured out that he was talking about Kyle. "But you knew that was gonna happen and you didn't care. All you wanted was to be with your girl again. Ha! This is why I like doing guys, they don't make you nuts enough to die for you, they just want a quick screw!"
Stan was in no mood to debate screwing with Saddam, so he kept quiet and waited for him to think of something else to say since he had no choice. "Stan, I sure hope you see how dumb you were to even be with a girl in the first place. You wasted half your life being around her, and now you're stuck here and you'll never see her again. You have to admit you'd be better off never knowing her at all." Logically Saddam was sort of correct, but Stan hadn't been through so much torture that he was gonna believe him.
"I know it's hard for you to understand, but I like that I was in love with a girl. I spent so many years with her because I wanted to. Because I liked to. I killed myself because I thought I could have that back, and I was wrong. That doesn't mean I wish that half of my life didn't exist because I made a mistake."
"Yet here you are, the cliched victim who can't fight back and is basically a helpless little bitch for the rest of time!" Saddam them inched closer to Stan and Stan quickly noticed which parts of his body Saddam was looking at. "And since these muscles are getting a little bigger every day, I have to wonder how good of a bitch you are. I mean you only had sex on Earth once, it looks like it was a waste of talent."
"Now there really isn't a way you'll make me trash that moment. True, it's a fucking bitch I only got to do it with her once, but at least I did it and I can remember it when things get really bad! You can't force that outta me!" Stan replied with a bit of anger. "And if you tried to cut off my penis to make me stop masterbating to those memories when I have free time, it'd just grow back a second later!"
"Why else do you think I haven't done it yet?!" Now Saddam was getting a little miffed since Stan was starting to match his comments. "But what good are those memories now since you know you can't make new ones again!"
"They're better than thinking about what I do here. You're right, I can't do anything like that again and I'm stuck thinking about my horrible fate 23 hours a day! But for at least an hour, I can remember the good old days and try to relieve them in my head without thinking about the bad stuff. It isn't nearly enough, but it keeps me sane."
"Well, I don't think it's healthy to be sane everyday, we need a balance here! Now how do we acheive that?" Saddam already had an idea, but he faked humming and thinking about it just to be funny, which he wasn't. Finally he lifted his head up in a flash. "Ah ha, I've got it! You need to keep busy with a very physical activity!" This time Saddam actually grabbed Stan's arm and rubbed it a bit. "I could help with that if you want." Stan wasted absolutly no time pulling his arm away. "Never, asshole. I only did it one time with the most wonderful girl in the world, and now that I can't do that with her again, it's gonna be the only time."
"Wow, you really are a stupid son of a bitch!" laughed Saddam louder than ever. "Fine, I'll lay my hands off you, guy. I can't promise that they will though." He signaled his guards to take Stan off the couch. "Put him in the special room and give me time to get one of the girls ready!"
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A short time later, Stan was thrown into an empty room with grey walls that looked more like a prison cell than a room. There was a small camera on the wall that was watching Stan, and obviously Saddam was using that to watch Stan's activities from wherever he was. Stan was puzzled as to what he was doing here since there weren't even any torture weapons around....that he knew of. And he really wondered why Saddam mentioned girls since what would Saddam want to do with them? Well, he had pretty much no choice but to sit there and wait to get an answer.
Right then the door opened and a middle aged women came in, then closed the door quickly before Stan could think of escaping. The woman walked right up to Stan and examined him, which was easy to do since Stan just sat there and didn't have the slightest clue what this was for.
"Ooh, Saddam wasn't lying about those muscles, was he?" She squealed in excitement at the first one's comment. And to back up his claim, Saddam himself spoke out of nowhere. "Well lady, you now know my stories about him weren't lies, so get to it! You might as well start the action now!"
"Saddam? What the hell is this for?" Stan asked. But he didn't have time to sit while he waited for an answer, as this strange woman started to touch him some more, which made him have to back away. Meanwhile, Saddam was watching the feed from his camera in his comfy control room, and once again spoke through his intercom to clear up what was going to happen to Stan. "I know no man can survive without sex forever, so I figure since you don't wanna find a new girl, getting forced into having sex with some girl who does whatever I say is the next best thing!"
"WHAT?!!" Now Stan ran for the door to get himself outta here, but it was pretty hard to do since the door was locked. "You, you can't do this to me! I told you I was only gonna do it that one time!"
"Yeah, but I gotta jerk off to something before I go to sleep, and those magazines from Satan really aren't hot this month! Might as well settle for seeing your member get plugged up by some female that isn't your lover! It's evil and sexual fun at it's best!"
Stan banged on the door in even more desperation before the Saddam controlled woman grabbed him. She pinned him down to the floor so he couldn't escape as they she to rip his shirt off. Now it looked like there was no way that the only girl Stan would ever have sex with would be Wendy- one last final indignity as a nail on the coffin of their relationship. This time Saddam was to blame, and Stan let him know it. "Let me outta here!! I'll kill you, you fucking Iraqi fuck, I'll take your eyeballs out and make you eat them for doing this to me!!"
"First of all, you can't kill me, dickweed! Second, my eyeballs would just grown back after eating them anyway. Third, I might wanna watch out for Wanda, she tends to bite people's special areas when she really gets into it. Have a nice time doing it with another woman for at least 2 straight hours, creampuff!"
Saddam laughed himself silly as he watched the action with growing excitement, while Stan couldn't even say a word as the woman jammed her tounge down her throat, pinned his arms down so he couldn't get away, and then started doing....things to his privates that Stan never wanted another girl to do again. But now in the next two hours, a woman other than Wendy wasn't going to leave that area alone at all.
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When the carnage ended, Saddam had Stan taken away and had his followers replace his torn clothes with one of Saddam's short shirts and short pants. He was then literally thrown out of the hideout and he landed flat on his stomach. He didn't have any possible strength left to get himself up and the other residents around him were trying to sleep on the ground, so Stan just lay there without moving a muscle.
Now everything had been taken away from him. His girl, his life, his dignity, his friends, his ability to have fun, his health, and now his promise to never have intercourse with someone other than Wendy again was gone- though it really wasn't his choice to have that happen, but it still technically counted anyway. Besides, Saddam would probably do something to make him willingly want sex with other girls the next time, since he was psychotic enough to wanna see a next time.
Life was so good the day before the accident. He had everything and it got taken away, then he took away the rest of it by killing himself before he realized his plan could not work. This was even worse than Wendy's death because Wendy never had a choice in the matter. It was Stan's choice to do this before thinking things through, and he was all too aware of the consequences now[unless Saddam made up a few details]Kyle was depressed, his parents and Ms Testaburger had moved away, a rumor had been going around that Butters had died yesterday, and all of South Park really missed him, even Cartman. He had caused nothing but sadness and regret to those closest to him on Earth, and his own reward for his actions was even more sadness and regret with slavery, horrible living conditions, and now that recent....encounter to go along with it. Stan had usually been the bravest and one of the smartest people in town, but he had no way outta the horrors he had created for everyone. All he was now was a cliched, helpless victim of his own actions and incompetance. It wasn't like him to be like this, but that's what he made himself out to be.
All he had was an eternity to remember what he had done to himself and everyone, and some serious pain to his genitals. He tried the best he could to stop himself from adding a crying spree to the whole thing, but he still wound up crying a few spare tears throughout the night anyway.
All he had was those tears and his thoughts about what Wendy was doing right now.
Act II, Scenes 4-5 and Act III, Scene 1 coming July 24'th.
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There are three realms in the afterlife that everybody knows about: Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. Heaven? Countless movies, stories, tales, and fanfictions have been told about life in Heaven, including this one. Hell? Hell's been glorified by a number of satanists and action movies, and the town of South Park has been visited at least twice by Satan himself. The whole world knows all about the places and players that reside in Heaven and Hell- but as for Purgatory? You'd be hard pressed to find anything about that place which isn't from the Bible. All you'll hear about Purgatory is that it's where people who kill themselves go to rot for eternity, so what else is there to tell?
Purgatory certainly wasn't a fun place to look at, that was for sure. In fact, there really wasn't anything in it at all. It was a wide barren black wasteland without a house or plants or any attractive scenery or skylight- the entire skyline was completly black 24 hours a day. The ground itself was made with lava right beneath it, and if anyone broke the ground lava would be shown and someone could easily throw another person into it. It wouldn't kill him or her since you can't die in the after life, but being stuck in lava for a few days would really be a major agonizing pain. Many bodies had been put into lava and had stayed there after the ground was covered up again, and they were never seen again despite the occasional noises heard underground. But since Purgatory was just a dark, desolate place filled with suicidal souls, no one really came up to control this rabble and their activities involving lava or other such things. Until about several years ago, but we'll get to that later.
The souls in Purgatory survived with the occasional food and drink given to them by Jesus in his bi-monthly visits to the poor. But since their dictator came along, now they could only get sustinance and the energy to do anything with his permission and "generosity" They had it hard enough without any leaders or dictators, but now their hard living had just gotten ridiculous. All they did was lie around in the vast void of the land, sleep on the ground with lava below it- but the only difference with this dictator around was that they occasionally had to be slaves and put together the only building in the whole land- a giant mountain top that overlooked everything, provided the only light in the whole area, and let the dictator see everything that was going on. At this point in the day[although with the dark sky and dark everything, there was no sense of time in Purgatory, unlike in Heaven], the slave work was done for the day and the people were about to receive their meal for the day.
Actually, it wasn't much of a meal. It consisted of the souls of Purgatory surrounding the tall but slightly thin mountain top where the dictator lived. Then the dictator would throw various scraps of food to the ground and the people would fight each other to get them. Occasionally the fights would get so heated that they tried to crack the ground open and throw their opponents into lava, and those were the dictator's favorite type of fights. But no one could see him as he was on the highest floor of the mountain, and looking down at them through the highest window that no one could see through. With that, the window opened and the unseen dictator's scraps of food were thrown out, then they landed on the ground.
The fights for these small pickings bordered on the epic, and this was no exception. When the dust settled and the mass fighting ended, the ground wasn't cracked open and lava was not needed. Only about 10-20 souls out of the thousands of people in Purgatory were able to get food. There normally would have been millions of people there, but a lot of people were useless to the dictator since they couldn't work, therefore he had them put into Hell with Satan's blessing- as if Satan had a choice in the matter.
One of those souls that got food knew the stories of why Satan didn't have a choice. He knew why this dictator was allowed to do whatever he wanted without God or Satan getting in his way.
He knew why Saddam Hussain could run things this way- but Stan Marsh was, as usual, too overcome with thinking about what Wendy was up to right now to care.
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Stan only remembered that people who kill themselves don't go to Heaven about a second before he died. Because he had forgotten that until a second before it was too late, he had spent the last 4 months paying for his mistake in the worst imaginable way. All his life was good for now was to hang around with the other suicide cases of the world, often get chosen to be one of Saddam's slaves for the day, and think about what Wendy was doing now. At the time he was finishing the two or three pieces of food that he fought 20 people to get, he figured Wendy was in Heaven and having too much fun with the dead intellectuals of the world to remember him.
He rarely talked to anyone and no one talked to him. Luckly a few people who had killed themselves in the last 3 months had heard of Stan and why he did what he did, so they left him be. Which was more than could be said for the dictator himself, Saddam. He knew all too well about Stan's special relationship with Wendy and how it ended and how Stan pathetically tried to get it back. He also knew all about Stan being one of the bravest kids in South Park and how much trouble those kids were, so he couldn't very well let him have high spirits and think he didn't have to do what Saddam said. Therefore, Stan usually got the toughest work on certain days, just to be safe.
As Stan finished his small "dinner", he heard to hear a familar sound. A familar marching sound. The two and fro march of Saddam's new Imperial Army. Those who Saddam deemed worthy enough to not be mere slaves were made into his special army that did his meanial jobs for him. Two perfect long rows of trained and almost brainwashed Saddam loyalists were marching to the entrance of his mountain top home. They had been asked to travel to Hell and aquire some special resources, and judging from the fact that they were carrying accesories with them, the outing seemed to be successful. The door to the mountain opened and the two rows marched in with perfect timing and precision. Once they were all in the door was closed- but everyone could clearly hear the outraged voice of Saddam Hussain a minute later.
"Did you think I was just fucking with you?!! Did you think I was playing a late April Fools joke when I told you to get my old dildos?! Do you fucking think you can get away with not doing your job and only get a fucking slap on the wrist?!"
Before the poor soul being yelled at could respond, the door was opened and this person was thrown out of the mountain. One of Saddam's other loyalists then came out and grabbed him so he couldn't escape when he came out. As was required, the rest of the people, Stan included[though he still minded doing this]bowed down when their self elected dictator, Saddam Hussain, came out to give his punishment.
Saddam, as always, wore his gray Iraqi clothes and still had the beard he had grown ever since he was sent here. Every soul on Earth, Heaven, Hell, and in Purgatory knew who he was and either feared him, mocked him, or both. He was perhaps the most infamous being who ever lived, since at least Hitler knew his place and didn't mess with God or Satan like Saddam had done when he died. The affair between Satan and Saddam that ended with the near conquest of Earth was legendary and known to everyone, and it made people sick when they heard the full story of what Saddam liked to do with his "little creampuff" But then he was sent to live with Mormons and God forever to really make him pay- yet after a while, he had done the impossible and defeated the Mormons and their wholesome goodness.
After that, it wasn't hard for him to drive God so crazy and keep him so busy that God wanted nothing more to do with him either. But since Satan didn't want him back, the two agreed that he would be stuck in Purgatory forever and allowed to do whatever he wanted- and he literally was allowed to do anything without God or Satan's objection, because none of them ever wanted to get in his way or see him again. It gave Saddam unlimited power in Purgatory which he had used for the last 5 years, and he could ask God and Satan for any favor he wanted just by threatening to come back and live with either of them again- they had never refused him when he made that threat. But now that one of his flunkies did not do his job during his latest extortion from Satan, he was mad enough to give him a really hot punishment.
Saddam took a pitchfork Satan was forced to give him 2 years ago and stuck it into the ground. With all his strength, he used the fork to take a chunk of the ground off, revealing a pool of lava in it's place. He only needed to nod his head for his competant follower to lift the failure up and throw him into the lava. Before he could swim back up, Saddam put the fork back down and covered the hole with the chunk of ground still stuck on it. He then took out some super strong glue and glued the ground back together, so that when he took the fork out, the ground did not move and stayed in place like it had never been taken out at all. The poor man was now stuck below and inside the lava forever, and death could never ever relieve the hideous pain of being burned alive, like it didn't for the 150 other people Saddam had put down there over the years. Once he saw that everyone saw this demonstration of his power, he was satisfied and prepared to go back in- until he noticed Stan watching him. Remembering that it was his time to have Stan "visit" him, he had his loyal follower grab him and take him inside the mountain for a "chat".
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"Hey Stanny baby, how goes old tricks?" Saddam asked once Stan was taking into his living room on the first floor. Thanks to his extortion of God and Satan over the years, he had enough materials to put together a very fancy living room with couches and a fireplace and lightbulbs. "I saw how you fought those other animals out there today, you're getting to be quite impressive during dinner time!"
"Is that really what you wanted to talk to me about?" Stan said with a little carelessness, which he swore to limit from then on. Saddam had always been evil, but before he came here he was funny as well, almost like a comic relief villain with all his gay jokes and suggestions to relax. But since he came here he was less comical and was more evil, so without that much of a sense of humor, he was not someone to tick off here. Stan hoped his off the cuff remark wouldn't tick him off, and it didn't look like it had. He just said, "Just wanted to see how you were doing, how you're getting along with the others, seeing how much you miss a certain bitch girl, the usual stuff." Now Stan was the one that was about to be, well, a little more than ticked.
"I told you to stop calling her a-" Saddam knew what he was gonna say, but he was in no mood to hear it, so he karate chopped him in the Adam's Apple to shut him up. Stan coughed very violently as Saddam started talking. "Guy, I rule Purgatory, and technically since I have God and Satan's balls in a blender, I rule the whole afterlife. I can do anything and say anything and no one can stop me. So don't tell ME TO STOP SAYING ANYTHING!!!" That last yell effectively proved how much more evil Saddam was than comical, so he backed away with satisfaction. Stan continued to cough though, so Saddam decided to get a few more words in.
"You know, with one call to Satan I can get Widmark out of Heaven and let him gloat about how you'll never see the bi- I mean, Wendy again. You wanna go on insulting me and give me an excuse to do that, cause I will be happy to do it!" Stan finished coughing and shook his head no. "All right then, now maybe we can have a nice talk." Saddam had his guard take Stan to the couch and they let him lie down and rub his throat as Saddam sat next to him to talk.
"You know what gives me a good laugh? That file on you that I made God give me when you first got here. It says that if you hadn't killed yourself, you would have been to Heaven in about 5 years after drinking too much on the 5'th anniversary of your girl's death." Saddam laughed since all twisted looneys find tragedy like that funny. "I'm sorry, it's just really funny! All you needed to do was survive 5 years and you would have been with her for all eternity, but you were so fucking impatient that you just had to go now! And look where you are as a result, stuck here forever with no way out! Ain't that a bitch?" Saddam kept laughing before he rubbed it in some more. "I mean, you must have know Widmark was stuck in Purgatory after he killed himself, if you had just remembered that earlier then you could have avoided this! That's why this is so great, because this is all your own frigging fault! And I thought evil things I did were funny, but this is priceless!"
"I'd say I already knew that, but that wouldn't make a difference to you, would it?" asked Stan horsely.
"Nope, I haven't even gotten to how your parents moved away and how depressed your boyfriend's been since!" Since Saddam liked to make jokes inferring that Stan was really gay and he wanted to screw his friends, Stan figured out that he was talking about Kyle. "But you knew that was gonna happen and you didn't care. All you wanted was to be with your girl again. Ha! This is why I like doing guys, they don't make you nuts enough to die for you, they just want a quick screw!"
Stan was in no mood to debate screwing with Saddam, so he kept quiet and waited for him to think of something else to say since he had no choice. "Stan, I sure hope you see how dumb you were to even be with a girl in the first place. You wasted half your life being around her, and now you're stuck here and you'll never see her again. You have to admit you'd be better off never knowing her at all." Logically Saddam was sort of correct, but Stan hadn't been through so much torture that he was gonna believe him.
"I know it's hard for you to understand, but I like that I was in love with a girl. I spent so many years with her because I wanted to. Because I liked to. I killed myself because I thought I could have that back, and I was wrong. That doesn't mean I wish that half of my life didn't exist because I made a mistake."
"Yet here you are, the cliched victim who can't fight back and is basically a helpless little bitch for the rest of time!" Saddam them inched closer to Stan and Stan quickly noticed which parts of his body Saddam was looking at. "And since these muscles are getting a little bigger every day, I have to wonder how good of a bitch you are. I mean you only had sex on Earth once, it looks like it was a waste of talent."
"Now there really isn't a way you'll make me trash that moment. True, it's a fucking bitch I only got to do it with her once, but at least I did it and I can remember it when things get really bad! You can't force that outta me!" Stan replied with a bit of anger. "And if you tried to cut off my penis to make me stop masterbating to those memories when I have free time, it'd just grow back a second later!"
"Why else do you think I haven't done it yet?!" Now Saddam was getting a little miffed since Stan was starting to match his comments. "But what good are those memories now since you know you can't make new ones again!"
"They're better than thinking about what I do here. You're right, I can't do anything like that again and I'm stuck thinking about my horrible fate 23 hours a day! But for at least an hour, I can remember the good old days and try to relieve them in my head without thinking about the bad stuff. It isn't nearly enough, but it keeps me sane."
"Well, I don't think it's healthy to be sane everyday, we need a balance here! Now how do we acheive that?" Saddam already had an idea, but he faked humming and thinking about it just to be funny, which he wasn't. Finally he lifted his head up in a flash. "Ah ha, I've got it! You need to keep busy with a very physical activity!" This time Saddam actually grabbed Stan's arm and rubbed it a bit. "I could help with that if you want." Stan wasted absolutly no time pulling his arm away. "Never, asshole. I only did it one time with the most wonderful girl in the world, and now that I can't do that with her again, it's gonna be the only time."
"Wow, you really are a stupid son of a bitch!" laughed Saddam louder than ever. "Fine, I'll lay my hands off you, guy. I can't promise that they will though." He signaled his guards to take Stan off the couch. "Put him in the special room and give me time to get one of the girls ready!"
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A short time later, Stan was thrown into an empty room with grey walls that looked more like a prison cell than a room. There was a small camera on the wall that was watching Stan, and obviously Saddam was using that to watch Stan's activities from wherever he was. Stan was puzzled as to what he was doing here since there weren't even any torture weapons around....that he knew of. And he really wondered why Saddam mentioned girls since what would Saddam want to do with them? Well, he had pretty much no choice but to sit there and wait to get an answer.
Right then the door opened and a middle aged women came in, then closed the door quickly before Stan could think of escaping. The woman walked right up to Stan and examined him, which was easy to do since Stan just sat there and didn't have the slightest clue what this was for.
"Ooh, Saddam wasn't lying about those muscles, was he?" She squealed in excitement at the first one's comment. And to back up his claim, Saddam himself spoke out of nowhere. "Well lady, you now know my stories about him weren't lies, so get to it! You might as well start the action now!"
"Saddam? What the hell is this for?" Stan asked. But he didn't have time to sit while he waited for an answer, as this strange woman started to touch him some more, which made him have to back away. Meanwhile, Saddam was watching the feed from his camera in his comfy control room, and once again spoke through his intercom to clear up what was going to happen to Stan. "I know no man can survive without sex forever, so I figure since you don't wanna find a new girl, getting forced into having sex with some girl who does whatever I say is the next best thing!"
"WHAT?!!" Now Stan ran for the door to get himself outta here, but it was pretty hard to do since the door was locked. "You, you can't do this to me! I told you I was only gonna do it that one time!"
"Yeah, but I gotta jerk off to something before I go to sleep, and those magazines from Satan really aren't hot this month! Might as well settle for seeing your member get plugged up by some female that isn't your lover! It's evil and sexual fun at it's best!"
Stan banged on the door in even more desperation before the Saddam controlled woman grabbed him. She pinned him down to the floor so he couldn't escape as they she to rip his shirt off. Now it looked like there was no way that the only girl Stan would ever have sex with would be Wendy- one last final indignity as a nail on the coffin of their relationship. This time Saddam was to blame, and Stan let him know it. "Let me outta here!! I'll kill you, you fucking Iraqi fuck, I'll take your eyeballs out and make you eat them for doing this to me!!"
"First of all, you can't kill me, dickweed! Second, my eyeballs would just grown back after eating them anyway. Third, I might wanna watch out for Wanda, she tends to bite people's special areas when she really gets into it. Have a nice time doing it with another woman for at least 2 straight hours, creampuff!"
Saddam laughed himself silly as he watched the action with growing excitement, while Stan couldn't even say a word as the woman jammed her tounge down her throat, pinned his arms down so he couldn't get away, and then started doing....things to his privates that Stan never wanted another girl to do again. But now in the next two hours, a woman other than Wendy wasn't going to leave that area alone at all.
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When the carnage ended, Saddam had Stan taken away and had his followers replace his torn clothes with one of Saddam's short shirts and short pants. He was then literally thrown out of the hideout and he landed flat on his stomach. He didn't have any possible strength left to get himself up and the other residents around him were trying to sleep on the ground, so Stan just lay there without moving a muscle.
Now everything had been taken away from him. His girl, his life, his dignity, his friends, his ability to have fun, his health, and now his promise to never have intercourse with someone other than Wendy again was gone- though it really wasn't his choice to have that happen, but it still technically counted anyway. Besides, Saddam would probably do something to make him willingly want sex with other girls the next time, since he was psychotic enough to wanna see a next time.
Life was so good the day before the accident. He had everything and it got taken away, then he took away the rest of it by killing himself before he realized his plan could not work. This was even worse than Wendy's death because Wendy never had a choice in the matter. It was Stan's choice to do this before thinking things through, and he was all too aware of the consequences now[unless Saddam made up a few details]Kyle was depressed, his parents and Ms Testaburger had moved away, a rumor had been going around that Butters had died yesterday, and all of South Park really missed him, even Cartman. He had caused nothing but sadness and regret to those closest to him on Earth, and his own reward for his actions was even more sadness and regret with slavery, horrible living conditions, and now that recent....encounter to go along with it. Stan had usually been the bravest and one of the smartest people in town, but he had no way outta the horrors he had created for everyone. All he was now was a cliched, helpless victim of his own actions and incompetance. It wasn't like him to be like this, but that's what he made himself out to be.
All he had was an eternity to remember what he had done to himself and everyone, and some serious pain to his genitals. He tried the best he could to stop himself from adding a crying spree to the whole thing, but he still wound up crying a few spare tears throughout the night anyway.
All he had was those tears and his thoughts about what Wendy was doing right now.
Act II, Scenes 4-5 and Act III, Scene 1 coming July 24'th.