What the fuck had just happened?
It was a testiment to how crazy this was that Butters cursed when he tried to think of what the fuck happened. But what the fuck did happen?! Okay, he made out with Wendy, that was actually what happened. So he'd have to rephrase his question- WHY the fuck did it happen?!
Butters had been running away from the house for about 10 minutes, and he finally stopped and sat next to a building to figure it out. Heh, he was sure picking a hell of a time to try and be rational now, where was his rationality in that bedroom? But then again, how could he expect to be rational 10 minutes after making out with the girlfriend of the guy he was trying to save?! Sure, that kind of plot happened in tons of movies that he saw[though he hadn't seen "Casablanca" or "Proof of Life" in many years], but that didn't help him here! Even a calm, non wussy person would have a hard time with this!
After some time, Butters finally relaxed his brain enough to try and think. The first steps he'd have to take was to try and figure out the obvious in the situation and work his way up to the hard stuff. First of all, the answer to why he kissed Wendy to begin with might be simple to answer. He was obviously attracted to her and had been in the back of his mind for a long time- but who the hell wouldn't be attracted to her? Still, they had spent a lot of close time together in the last few days after he'd missed her for 4 months. Plus several hours from now, he'd be outta here and he wouldn't see her again for another few years or decades. One of those factors or all of them might be good excuses for him.
But the next piece of the puzzle was a lot harder to figure.....why didn't Wendy push him away? She was in love with Stan more than anyone could ever love a boy, and a boy other than Stan was kissing her, so why did she kiss back? She should have pushed him away from the start and yelled at him for even coming near her. Instead she was kissing back and she had her hands on a low position of his back. Why did she take part in that? Was it only for one last fling before she sent him away, was she convinced she'd never see Stan again and this was the last time she could make out with someone she knew, was she trying to do this to keep him here and not want to go back to Earth, what?! He obviously couldn't ask her why since who knows when he'd have the courage to face her again.
Now that he'd ran through the motives and excuses of the players, there was one more thing to think of- what now? If this meant anything at all, what exactly did it mean in the long run? Could he bring himself to see her again after this to resolve anything? Did she still want to see Stan after making out with another guy? Was she gonna want him to stay and refuse to send him back to life? And did he want to stay now? In restrospect, if he went back to Earth he'd be living in a far less nicer place with less real friends and an uncertain future- at least here he couldn't die or be hurt for more than 24 hours. The only people that would really really be that sad to see him gone were his parents and Julia, and who knows if she'd actually forgotten him with her busy schedule. Other than that, who would really miss him if he stayed here? In comparision, here there were no bullies, no one who would make fun of him in overly cruel fashions since people like that were in Hell or Purgatory, and he'd also be around the girl he....he....
"Hey, who the hell's there?! You're not getting your germs on my box!"
Of all people, Miss Ellen was now coming up towards Butters to add to his problems. But there was a box nearby where he was sitting, so he couldn't blame her for being suspicious.
"Hey there, I didn't think I'd see you here again.", commented Miss Ellen once she saw who was there. "You sure caused a lot of panic today. I saw about 10 people vanish outta thin air today thanks to you and Wendy's misadventures."
"Are you here to gloat, is that it?" Butters figured that if Miss Ellen was gonna gloat about Wendy's misery, he'd better let her get it over with now so he could focus on more important issues.
"I would, but I told you I didn't want to get in the middle of this thing. Whether I would have given away your whole plan if Saddam's troops asked me to, well, we should both be glad that never happened. Not that it would have made a difference since you failed anyway." Miss Ellen leaned against the wall and sat down next to Butters to ask the rest of her questions. "So how is the little lady anyway? Did you come here to get away from her crying or obssessive behavior or something?"
"I think I'm in love with her since I made out with her."
"Well....wasn't expecting that, but okay." Suddenly Miss Ellen's mood became a little less tolerant. "Hey, wait just one minute!! She killed me because she thought I was after Stan and she had no proof! Now after all that and all her stupid planning, she's the one cheating on him with you?!! What kind of fucked up unfair shit is that?!!"
"If I knew I wouldn't be here hiding from her, okay?!" This was hardly what Butters needed to solve his problem, so he tried to think of ways to get her off his back. "Look, I wasn't trying to steal her from Stan and I'm sure she wasn't trying to make me her new boyfriend, it, it just happened! Maybe it's because I never really lost that crush I had on her for a week in 4'th grade, or maybe it's cause I won't see her again after today, I don't know!"
"You don't know? But you just told me you thought you loved her, how does that fit in?"
"Well....I know I at least love her as my best friend. Maybe a part of me loves her enough to wanna be with her more, maybe that's what made me kiss her. But I guess.....I guess it's easy to admit that in at least in a few ways....I am in love with her." Butters sighed very heavily as he tried to regroup his thoughts. "But Stan was in love with her first, I can't forget about that!"
"Or can you? I mean, Stan's all the way in Purgatory and after your stunt, you're never gonna see him again for sure. He'll never know if you and Wendy do it behind his back." Miss Ellen wasn't sure if she suggested that because she wanted to see Wendy with another man as some sort of indirect revenge, but it was the first thought about this plot that came to her mind.
"I know that, but Wendy'll know it too. Let's be honest, she wouldn't wanna just forget about Stan and leave him to be tortured by Saddam just cause she kissed me." But Miss Ellen then pointed out one of Butters's main problems about the situation. "But if she was such in love with Stan, why did she kiss you back? If she shot me to the sun for just thinking I wanted to kiss Stan, she should have at least hit you for kissing her. Maybe she had some hidden feelings for you after all and thinks you could be a great Stan replacement. Why else would she have helped you all those times on Earth?"
"Because she was being my friend, she was too much in love with Stan to want me to replace him back then! She just wants to be friends, I know it, and I....." Butters then started to realize something more important here. "I can't let her want to be more than friends just cause she doesn't think Stan'll come back. I spent the whole day with her so she wouldn't give up on that. But that was before this happened, so....what should I do?" Normally Butters wouldn't expect to ask advice from a homeless person, but he had no other options or better advice he could think of himself now.
"You know, I think it's all a matter of regret. When I got killed I had tons of things to regret that I didn't get to do with my life, or with my dad. Then when he went to Hell thanks in part to you guys, that drove me to regret even more till I ended up here. The point is that you should ask yourself something, what would you regret more? Would you regret going back to Earth without getting together with Wendy, go back to Earth without reuniting her with Stan, or get together with Wendy behind Stan's back more? Which of those things would you regret for the rest of your life and get driven to depression and poverty because of it? That's the best I can do to narrow this down for you." With that, Miss Ellen crawled back into her box and counted on Butters leaving the area shortly.
There was a chance he might feel real bad if he went back to Earth and had to say goodbye to her. There was an even bigger chance he was gonna feel sorry if he got himself to be Stan's replacement for Wendy or if he left without getting them back together....and there it was. If Butters went back to Earth without getting together with Wendy, it would make him sad for a while- but Stan left Earth and couldn't get back together with her, and now as a result, he was being tortured by Saddam Hussain. He would be upset for the rest of time.
Butters now knew he had always been attracted to Wendy without really knowing it. He had always loved having her for a friend and to have her there for him in his darkest moments in the last 8 years. But there was someone who loved her more. Butters could make Wendy happy, but there was no possible way in any life that he could deliver joy and euphoria to her the way that Stan could. He knew that because he'd seen Stan and Wendy together for 9 years, through their every crisis and every bit of turmoil. He'd seen first hand what they did for each other and the sacrifices they had made. He knew that no possible relationship with him and Wendy could ever match up to the one she had with Stan, they just....belonged together. Stan believed it so much he killed himself to do it and failed miserably and tragically. And now because of his tragedy, he wasn't there to see what had happened here. And just because he wasn't there, it was okay for Butters to move in on Wendy? That was too fucked up and too mean for him!
And that final detail clinched it. One of the things Wendy really liked about him was that every through his worst crisis, he was the same kind, caring, well meaning boy he had always been and his dark times hadn't turned him into a bully[well, at least it didn't turn him into a bully who was any good at being evil]If he thought he could be Wendy's new boyfriend, it would be the worst not nice thing to do, and it would have betrayed what Wendy most liked about him. If he did something mean and heartless like this to Stan, all of Wendy's efforts to make Butters happy and to keep being a kind person would have been for nothing. The only way to keep that alive would be to leave her be and say they could only be friends, no matter how hot that makeout scene was. But by leaving her alone like this.....she would still be alone without the one who could really give her everything as a boyfriend that Butters couldn't. How could he do that to someone he at least cared for a lot?
There was only one thing to do. Well, first he had to get a pencil and a piece of paper, but after that there was just one thing to do.
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Dear Wendy,
I love you. And I love you enough to know and understand I can never love you love you. There's only one person that has the right to do that. Even if it was possible for us to continue that makeout scene, I know both of us would think you'd be much happier if Stan was doing it with you instead of me. And just because Stan is in Purgatory and can never come up to see us here is no excuse to abandon him. You know that just as much as I do.
For most of my life I've never really took action and took control of my own destiny. I resorted to being evil when I had no friends, then when I got friends back and a girlfriend I relied on them to help me. But there were times where I could feel very brave and do things I couldn't do before. When my friends and people I loved were in trouble, most of the time I put aside my fears to save them or do my small part to save them. You told me once that the true test of being a friend is being there for friends when they need you. Well, Stan is my friend and he needs someone to be there for him. I told you I would let you take me back to Earth after the sun rose, but now that can't happen. Now I've decided not to go back until Stan is here with you.
I'm going to Purgatory myself after I force the spells out of Mr Marsh. I'll probably be ready to face Saddam by the time you read this letter. I know it would be pointless to tell you not to find a way to come down there since you'd just do it anyway, but I only hope I have things under conrol by the time you get there. I'm not being too optismistic though, it might take me a day, a week, or even longer to get Stan away from Saddam and come back here. But I refuse to leave there and leave the afterlife altogether until you and Stan are back together. That's how I'm going to express how much I care about you instead of making you cheat on Stan. That is the only thing I can do here that I wouldn't regret forever and ever until I got here for real. I hope you understand.
Maybe I won't succeed and I'll just wind up never seeing you again, I don't know what's gonna happen. I just know I have to do this before I think of reasons why I shouldn't do it. But I still have the one big reason- because I care about you enough to give you the one you really love back up here. And if you see me again, I'll be presenting him to you.....I hope.
No matter what, you are and always have been at least since 4'th grade, my friend. It's been an honor and a priveledge to be here with you. Goodbye until later on, or goodbye forever, it probably depends on how easy Saddam would give in to me.
Love,
Leopold "Butters" Stotch.
For the second time, Butters had written a letter for Wendy. But this time, he left the letter in front of Wendy's house after making sure she wouldn't get up, see him, and try to stop him from his mission after reading it. He decided not to take one more look at her from a window before he left. He would see her again later and have Stan there for her as the only proper way to say goodbye to her, he had to believe that. After all, it was about a 20-25 minute walk to the soul takers club building from Wendy's house and he had to think of something. He already spent a few hours finding a pencil and paper and thinking of the words to say, so he'd already taken up enough time.
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By the time he got to the soul takers building, it was about 2 minutes before the sun rose. The building wasn't open yet, but Butters knew that people slept here overnight, including the old man he needed to see. He also knew the building would be unlocked shortly, so he stayed back next to the door and waited for his chance. About a second later, Grandpa Marsh was seen coming down the steps and heading for the front door to unlock it. Once he did, Butters charged in before Grandpa could utter a line of protest- but he made up for that by protesting once Butters got in.
"What the hell are you doing here, foo foo boy?! You know damm well you're not allowed in here after that stunt you and the bitch pulled on us!" Butters really didn't need to lose his patience and anger now and have nothing left for when he met Saddam, so he tried politely to get what he needed. "Mr Marsh, I know you remember the two spells me and Wendy wanted from that book. I want you to tell me those spells so I can go to Purgatory and find Stan."
"Fat chance, peckerhead!" Grandpa Marsh had a better reason to brag because 10 armed guards were running up towards Butters. "God thought we needed better security around here, now let's see if it pays off. Take the subject out, fellas." With those orders, the guards took out their guns and combined to shoot Butters 8 times in the chest before he went down. Satisfied with the work and figuring Butters would be in too much pain the rest of the day, he sent the guards away.
However, what Grandpa Marsh forgot was that the sun hadn't risen yet, otherwise Butters would have felt the pain of those shots for the next 24 hours. Instead, when the sun came up, Butters gunshot wounds immediatly closed up, the bullets inside him disappeared, and he could breathe normally again. In fact, he got up fit as a fiddle. And once he got himself back to normal and turned to Grandpa Marsh, the old man now clearly regretted sending the guards away too early. Before he could call them back, Butters grabbed the old man and carried him away to another small room in the building before anyone else could see the action. Once they were all alone, Butters made his demands again. "Tell me the words to the two Purgatory spells right now."
"No way, kid! Because of you and the girl stealing those spells, Saddam sent 30 of my workers to Purgatory! Good workers and killers at that! Why should I tell you anything?!"
"Because Stan's your grandson and I have to save him from being stuck with Saddam so he can see Wendy again! Don't you love your own grandson enough to help save him?!" But Butters was once again being naive, which he figured out when Grandpa Marsh started laughing at him. "Are you fucking kidding?! I wanted to die for years and he wouldn't let me! He let me suffer in agony for years because he was too much of a fag to kill me, so he deserves to be fucked by Saddam! He can stay in there forever for all I care, so why the hell do you care?! Besides, now that Billy's gone you might have a shot at that nice piece of ass girl after all." Now that did it.
Butters made his next demand after he had grabbed Mr Marsh's left arm and snapped the frail thing like a twig since it was so thin and fragile. "You like that pain, sir?! You're gonna be feeling that for the rest of the day, and if you don't wanna hurt in other places for 24 hours, you're never gonna say that about her again! Oh, and you're gonna give me the spells too!" But even though Grandpa was almost too much in pain to talk, he still called out, "Screw you, pussy willow!" After that, Butters kicked the old man's leg and he fell down with his hip broken into pieces now. "Tell me those spells or you can go the rest of the day with a broken neck!" Maybe that was going too far, but since Butters was still technically dead, he could do whatever he wanted to Marsh since he couldn't die. So since he didn't respond, he grabbed the old man's head and tried to twist it until he gave in. "Okay, okay, fuck it, I'll talk!!"
Once that was done, Butters took out a spare piece of paper and a pencil from his pocket. "Tell me the first two lines of the spell to get to Purgatory, then maybe I can remember the rest myself." Luckly Butters left Grandpa in a condition to talk, so he was able to gasp out, "See the journey to come to pass, the trip ahead will be a blast!" Butters memorized those words in his head and tried to trigger something that would make him remember the rest of the spell that God had erased from his memory. He then asked for the third line and Grandpa Marsh got himself to say, "If a journey to Purgatory you seek....", but he didn't repeat the final line since that would send him to Purgatory himself. Fortunatly, that last line triggered the memory for Butters, and then he wrote down the entire spell, including the final verse. Of course that wasn't it as Butters still needed the spell to get back to Heaven, so he did the same thing as before- ask for the first three lyrics and remember the fourth by himself. Finally with the two spells written down, Butters was ready to go.
"See the journey to come to pass
The trip ahead will be a blast!
If a journey to Purgatory you seek,
Just repeat these words to achieve your feat!"
And right in front of Grandpa Marsh's eyes, Butters disappeared in a flash of light.
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All Butters saw after he cast the spell was darkness. Darkness and ground. Because of that, he was wondering if the spell had really worked. But when he actually started to walk around to look for stuff, he saw what looked to be a mob of people from far away, and he thought he could see the vage outline of a mountain from very far away.
This was just enough info for him to see that it had worked. He was now in Purgatory.
"Well, the easy part's over, I guess."
It was a testiment to how crazy this was that Butters cursed when he tried to think of what the fuck happened. But what the fuck did happen?! Okay, he made out with Wendy, that was actually what happened. So he'd have to rephrase his question- WHY the fuck did it happen?!
Butters had been running away from the house for about 10 minutes, and he finally stopped and sat next to a building to figure it out. Heh, he was sure picking a hell of a time to try and be rational now, where was his rationality in that bedroom? But then again, how could he expect to be rational 10 minutes after making out with the girlfriend of the guy he was trying to save?! Sure, that kind of plot happened in tons of movies that he saw[though he hadn't seen "Casablanca" or "Proof of Life" in many years], but that didn't help him here! Even a calm, non wussy person would have a hard time with this!
After some time, Butters finally relaxed his brain enough to try and think. The first steps he'd have to take was to try and figure out the obvious in the situation and work his way up to the hard stuff. First of all, the answer to why he kissed Wendy to begin with might be simple to answer. He was obviously attracted to her and had been in the back of his mind for a long time- but who the hell wouldn't be attracted to her? Still, they had spent a lot of close time together in the last few days after he'd missed her for 4 months. Plus several hours from now, he'd be outta here and he wouldn't see her again for another few years or decades. One of those factors or all of them might be good excuses for him.
But the next piece of the puzzle was a lot harder to figure.....why didn't Wendy push him away? She was in love with Stan more than anyone could ever love a boy, and a boy other than Stan was kissing her, so why did she kiss back? She should have pushed him away from the start and yelled at him for even coming near her. Instead she was kissing back and she had her hands on a low position of his back. Why did she take part in that? Was it only for one last fling before she sent him away, was she convinced she'd never see Stan again and this was the last time she could make out with someone she knew, was she trying to do this to keep him here and not want to go back to Earth, what?! He obviously couldn't ask her why since who knows when he'd have the courage to face her again.
Now that he'd ran through the motives and excuses of the players, there was one more thing to think of- what now? If this meant anything at all, what exactly did it mean in the long run? Could he bring himself to see her again after this to resolve anything? Did she still want to see Stan after making out with another guy? Was she gonna want him to stay and refuse to send him back to life? And did he want to stay now? In restrospect, if he went back to Earth he'd be living in a far less nicer place with less real friends and an uncertain future- at least here he couldn't die or be hurt for more than 24 hours. The only people that would really really be that sad to see him gone were his parents and Julia, and who knows if she'd actually forgotten him with her busy schedule. Other than that, who would really miss him if he stayed here? In comparision, here there were no bullies, no one who would make fun of him in overly cruel fashions since people like that were in Hell or Purgatory, and he'd also be around the girl he....he....
"Hey, who the hell's there?! You're not getting your germs on my box!"
Of all people, Miss Ellen was now coming up towards Butters to add to his problems. But there was a box nearby where he was sitting, so he couldn't blame her for being suspicious.
"Hey there, I didn't think I'd see you here again.", commented Miss Ellen once she saw who was there. "You sure caused a lot of panic today. I saw about 10 people vanish outta thin air today thanks to you and Wendy's misadventures."
"Are you here to gloat, is that it?" Butters figured that if Miss Ellen was gonna gloat about Wendy's misery, he'd better let her get it over with now so he could focus on more important issues.
"I would, but I told you I didn't want to get in the middle of this thing. Whether I would have given away your whole plan if Saddam's troops asked me to, well, we should both be glad that never happened. Not that it would have made a difference since you failed anyway." Miss Ellen leaned against the wall and sat down next to Butters to ask the rest of her questions. "So how is the little lady anyway? Did you come here to get away from her crying or obssessive behavior or something?"
"I think I'm in love with her since I made out with her."
"Well....wasn't expecting that, but okay." Suddenly Miss Ellen's mood became a little less tolerant. "Hey, wait just one minute!! She killed me because she thought I was after Stan and she had no proof! Now after all that and all her stupid planning, she's the one cheating on him with you?!! What kind of fucked up unfair shit is that?!!"
"If I knew I wouldn't be here hiding from her, okay?!" This was hardly what Butters needed to solve his problem, so he tried to think of ways to get her off his back. "Look, I wasn't trying to steal her from Stan and I'm sure she wasn't trying to make me her new boyfriend, it, it just happened! Maybe it's because I never really lost that crush I had on her for a week in 4'th grade, or maybe it's cause I won't see her again after today, I don't know!"
"You don't know? But you just told me you thought you loved her, how does that fit in?"
"Well....I know I at least love her as my best friend. Maybe a part of me loves her enough to wanna be with her more, maybe that's what made me kiss her. But I guess.....I guess it's easy to admit that in at least in a few ways....I am in love with her." Butters sighed very heavily as he tried to regroup his thoughts. "But Stan was in love with her first, I can't forget about that!"
"Or can you? I mean, Stan's all the way in Purgatory and after your stunt, you're never gonna see him again for sure. He'll never know if you and Wendy do it behind his back." Miss Ellen wasn't sure if she suggested that because she wanted to see Wendy with another man as some sort of indirect revenge, but it was the first thought about this plot that came to her mind.
"I know that, but Wendy'll know it too. Let's be honest, she wouldn't wanna just forget about Stan and leave him to be tortured by Saddam just cause she kissed me." But Miss Ellen then pointed out one of Butters's main problems about the situation. "But if she was such in love with Stan, why did she kiss you back? If she shot me to the sun for just thinking I wanted to kiss Stan, she should have at least hit you for kissing her. Maybe she had some hidden feelings for you after all and thinks you could be a great Stan replacement. Why else would she have helped you all those times on Earth?"
"Because she was being my friend, she was too much in love with Stan to want me to replace him back then! She just wants to be friends, I know it, and I....." Butters then started to realize something more important here. "I can't let her want to be more than friends just cause she doesn't think Stan'll come back. I spent the whole day with her so she wouldn't give up on that. But that was before this happened, so....what should I do?" Normally Butters wouldn't expect to ask advice from a homeless person, but he had no other options or better advice he could think of himself now.
"You know, I think it's all a matter of regret. When I got killed I had tons of things to regret that I didn't get to do with my life, or with my dad. Then when he went to Hell thanks in part to you guys, that drove me to regret even more till I ended up here. The point is that you should ask yourself something, what would you regret more? Would you regret going back to Earth without getting together with Wendy, go back to Earth without reuniting her with Stan, or get together with Wendy behind Stan's back more? Which of those things would you regret for the rest of your life and get driven to depression and poverty because of it? That's the best I can do to narrow this down for you." With that, Miss Ellen crawled back into her box and counted on Butters leaving the area shortly.
There was a chance he might feel real bad if he went back to Earth and had to say goodbye to her. There was an even bigger chance he was gonna feel sorry if he got himself to be Stan's replacement for Wendy or if he left without getting them back together....and there it was. If Butters went back to Earth without getting together with Wendy, it would make him sad for a while- but Stan left Earth and couldn't get back together with her, and now as a result, he was being tortured by Saddam Hussain. He would be upset for the rest of time.
Butters now knew he had always been attracted to Wendy without really knowing it. He had always loved having her for a friend and to have her there for him in his darkest moments in the last 8 years. But there was someone who loved her more. Butters could make Wendy happy, but there was no possible way in any life that he could deliver joy and euphoria to her the way that Stan could. He knew that because he'd seen Stan and Wendy together for 9 years, through their every crisis and every bit of turmoil. He'd seen first hand what they did for each other and the sacrifices they had made. He knew that no possible relationship with him and Wendy could ever match up to the one she had with Stan, they just....belonged together. Stan believed it so much he killed himself to do it and failed miserably and tragically. And now because of his tragedy, he wasn't there to see what had happened here. And just because he wasn't there, it was okay for Butters to move in on Wendy? That was too fucked up and too mean for him!
And that final detail clinched it. One of the things Wendy really liked about him was that every through his worst crisis, he was the same kind, caring, well meaning boy he had always been and his dark times hadn't turned him into a bully[well, at least it didn't turn him into a bully who was any good at being evil]If he thought he could be Wendy's new boyfriend, it would be the worst not nice thing to do, and it would have betrayed what Wendy most liked about him. If he did something mean and heartless like this to Stan, all of Wendy's efforts to make Butters happy and to keep being a kind person would have been for nothing. The only way to keep that alive would be to leave her be and say they could only be friends, no matter how hot that makeout scene was. But by leaving her alone like this.....she would still be alone without the one who could really give her everything as a boyfriend that Butters couldn't. How could he do that to someone he at least cared for a lot?
There was only one thing to do. Well, first he had to get a pencil and a piece of paper, but after that there was just one thing to do.
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Dear Wendy,
I love you. And I love you enough to know and understand I can never love you love you. There's only one person that has the right to do that. Even if it was possible for us to continue that makeout scene, I know both of us would think you'd be much happier if Stan was doing it with you instead of me. And just because Stan is in Purgatory and can never come up to see us here is no excuse to abandon him. You know that just as much as I do.
For most of my life I've never really took action and took control of my own destiny. I resorted to being evil when I had no friends, then when I got friends back and a girlfriend I relied on them to help me. But there were times where I could feel very brave and do things I couldn't do before. When my friends and people I loved were in trouble, most of the time I put aside my fears to save them or do my small part to save them. You told me once that the true test of being a friend is being there for friends when they need you. Well, Stan is my friend and he needs someone to be there for him. I told you I would let you take me back to Earth after the sun rose, but now that can't happen. Now I've decided not to go back until Stan is here with you.
I'm going to Purgatory myself after I force the spells out of Mr Marsh. I'll probably be ready to face Saddam by the time you read this letter. I know it would be pointless to tell you not to find a way to come down there since you'd just do it anyway, but I only hope I have things under conrol by the time you get there. I'm not being too optismistic though, it might take me a day, a week, or even longer to get Stan away from Saddam and come back here. But I refuse to leave there and leave the afterlife altogether until you and Stan are back together. That's how I'm going to express how much I care about you instead of making you cheat on Stan. That is the only thing I can do here that I wouldn't regret forever and ever until I got here for real. I hope you understand.
Maybe I won't succeed and I'll just wind up never seeing you again, I don't know what's gonna happen. I just know I have to do this before I think of reasons why I shouldn't do it. But I still have the one big reason- because I care about you enough to give you the one you really love back up here. And if you see me again, I'll be presenting him to you.....I hope.
No matter what, you are and always have been at least since 4'th grade, my friend. It's been an honor and a priveledge to be here with you. Goodbye until later on, or goodbye forever, it probably depends on how easy Saddam would give in to me.
Love,
Leopold "Butters" Stotch.
For the second time, Butters had written a letter for Wendy. But this time, he left the letter in front of Wendy's house after making sure she wouldn't get up, see him, and try to stop him from his mission after reading it. He decided not to take one more look at her from a window before he left. He would see her again later and have Stan there for her as the only proper way to say goodbye to her, he had to believe that. After all, it was about a 20-25 minute walk to the soul takers club building from Wendy's house and he had to think of something. He already spent a few hours finding a pencil and paper and thinking of the words to say, so he'd already taken up enough time.
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By the time he got to the soul takers building, it was about 2 minutes before the sun rose. The building wasn't open yet, but Butters knew that people slept here overnight, including the old man he needed to see. He also knew the building would be unlocked shortly, so he stayed back next to the door and waited for his chance. About a second later, Grandpa Marsh was seen coming down the steps and heading for the front door to unlock it. Once he did, Butters charged in before Grandpa could utter a line of protest- but he made up for that by protesting once Butters got in.
"What the hell are you doing here, foo foo boy?! You know damm well you're not allowed in here after that stunt you and the bitch pulled on us!" Butters really didn't need to lose his patience and anger now and have nothing left for when he met Saddam, so he tried politely to get what he needed. "Mr Marsh, I know you remember the two spells me and Wendy wanted from that book. I want you to tell me those spells so I can go to Purgatory and find Stan."
"Fat chance, peckerhead!" Grandpa Marsh had a better reason to brag because 10 armed guards were running up towards Butters. "God thought we needed better security around here, now let's see if it pays off. Take the subject out, fellas." With those orders, the guards took out their guns and combined to shoot Butters 8 times in the chest before he went down. Satisfied with the work and figuring Butters would be in too much pain the rest of the day, he sent the guards away.
However, what Grandpa Marsh forgot was that the sun hadn't risen yet, otherwise Butters would have felt the pain of those shots for the next 24 hours. Instead, when the sun came up, Butters gunshot wounds immediatly closed up, the bullets inside him disappeared, and he could breathe normally again. In fact, he got up fit as a fiddle. And once he got himself back to normal and turned to Grandpa Marsh, the old man now clearly regretted sending the guards away too early. Before he could call them back, Butters grabbed the old man and carried him away to another small room in the building before anyone else could see the action. Once they were all alone, Butters made his demands again. "Tell me the words to the two Purgatory spells right now."
"No way, kid! Because of you and the girl stealing those spells, Saddam sent 30 of my workers to Purgatory! Good workers and killers at that! Why should I tell you anything?!"
"Because Stan's your grandson and I have to save him from being stuck with Saddam so he can see Wendy again! Don't you love your own grandson enough to help save him?!" But Butters was once again being naive, which he figured out when Grandpa Marsh started laughing at him. "Are you fucking kidding?! I wanted to die for years and he wouldn't let me! He let me suffer in agony for years because he was too much of a fag to kill me, so he deserves to be fucked by Saddam! He can stay in there forever for all I care, so why the hell do you care?! Besides, now that Billy's gone you might have a shot at that nice piece of ass girl after all." Now that did it.
Butters made his next demand after he had grabbed Mr Marsh's left arm and snapped the frail thing like a twig since it was so thin and fragile. "You like that pain, sir?! You're gonna be feeling that for the rest of the day, and if you don't wanna hurt in other places for 24 hours, you're never gonna say that about her again! Oh, and you're gonna give me the spells too!" But even though Grandpa was almost too much in pain to talk, he still called out, "Screw you, pussy willow!" After that, Butters kicked the old man's leg and he fell down with his hip broken into pieces now. "Tell me those spells or you can go the rest of the day with a broken neck!" Maybe that was going too far, but since Butters was still technically dead, he could do whatever he wanted to Marsh since he couldn't die. So since he didn't respond, he grabbed the old man's head and tried to twist it until he gave in. "Okay, okay, fuck it, I'll talk!!"
Once that was done, Butters took out a spare piece of paper and a pencil from his pocket. "Tell me the first two lines of the spell to get to Purgatory, then maybe I can remember the rest myself." Luckly Butters left Grandpa in a condition to talk, so he was able to gasp out, "See the journey to come to pass, the trip ahead will be a blast!" Butters memorized those words in his head and tried to trigger something that would make him remember the rest of the spell that God had erased from his memory. He then asked for the third line and Grandpa Marsh got himself to say, "If a journey to Purgatory you seek....", but he didn't repeat the final line since that would send him to Purgatory himself. Fortunatly, that last line triggered the memory for Butters, and then he wrote down the entire spell, including the final verse. Of course that wasn't it as Butters still needed the spell to get back to Heaven, so he did the same thing as before- ask for the first three lyrics and remember the fourth by himself. Finally with the two spells written down, Butters was ready to go.
"See the journey to come to pass
The trip ahead will be a blast!
If a journey to Purgatory you seek,
Just repeat these words to achieve your feat!"
And right in front of Grandpa Marsh's eyes, Butters disappeared in a flash of light.
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All Butters saw after he cast the spell was darkness. Darkness and ground. Because of that, he was wondering if the spell had really worked. But when he actually started to walk around to look for stuff, he saw what looked to be a mob of people from far away, and he thought he could see the vage outline of a mountain from very far away.
This was just enough info for him to see that it had worked. He was now in Purgatory.
"Well, the easy part's over, I guess."