AUTHOR'S NOTE: Whew! I will go ahead and warn you, I believe this is the
longest chapter yet. Now let me fill you in on how this dedicated fanfic
author has labored to please her wonderful reviewers. Despite the fact that
today is Thanksgiving and I have pneumonia (yes, this is the pits!), I
still wrote an entire chapter today (I guess my muses were kept healthier
than me from the reviews!)! Now, if that is not dedication, I do not know
what is! So, does such dedication not deserve some reviews? Now, to the
people who have reviewed:
Megolas1: Thanks for your reviews, and especially for reading both my fics!
Coolio: Thanks!
Tony: As always, I love your reviews, but I just have to say that the last one was my favorite. The reason is that When I read fics, I always want to be able to visualize everything, like a 'film running through my head', so I always strived to make my fics like that, and when you said that, it just made my day (. I am glad you liked the music selection!
Elvenrocker: Thanks! I always like Legolas as a brother figure, too. However, don't jump to conclusions as to how the romance will ensue; unfortunately for them, I often tend to be quite unkind to my characters, as you can probably tell from all the tragedy poor Mara has had to endure!
ElvenStar5: Am I being fast enough??
Confusion and Reconciliation:
~*~"Oh." Of course I was only imagining the disappointment in his voice. Whatever it was I was heard, however, disappeared as all I could hear in his next statement was pure mischievousness. "Well then, in that case." I barely had time to gasp in surprise before he quickly lowered his face and his lips met mine. ~*~
It should have been obvious what he was going to do, but I did not realize until he was too close to pull away. When his lips first touched mine, my brain was telling me that it was only for show, to infuriate Marilla, but as his lips lingered there and he even tried to deepen the kiss, my instincts told me that this was something else. At first I was too shocked to do anything, but then I began to feel. I felt everything ten times more distinctly than before; his body so close the mine, the glances in our direction, his lips touching, then caressing mine, and the restrained urgency behind it all. However, the 'feeling' part only lasted a fraction of a second before my brain finally began working again and I pulled away, gasping. I began to speak, but found that I could only stare in disbelief. I realized that he looked every bit a shocked as I did, but this did nothing to assuage my humiliation. and confusion. I saw my brother coming towards us, looking none too happy, as I turned to leave as quickly as possible.
~*~*~*~*~*~
There was a soft knock at my door. "Mara?" I did not reply. I was much too busy doing what I had been doing for the last half hour since I returned from the dance: burying my face in my pillow. Obviously my brother took my silence as an invitation to enter. The door opened and he entered cautiously.
"I really do not feel like having company right now," I said. The pillow muffled my words, but Aldeon obviously understood them well enough.
"I am not company; I am your brother. Who is concerned about you," he replied as he sat on the edge of the bed.
"There is no reason for your concern," I said, raising my head as if to prove my point. His grim expression, however, told me that this would not be that easy.
"In case you have forgotten, Legolas just kissed you in front of the whole of Mirkwood," he said.
"Oh, really?" I retorted sarcastically. "Thank you for the reminder; the embarrassment and humiliation was not doing a good enough job of it." He rolled his eyes, but then softened and reached for my hand, which I pulled away.
"I would really rather be alone right now," I said. Aldeon sighed.
"Alright. But just so you know, I did warn Legolas off." I sat up.
" 'Warned him off'?" I asked. "What exactly does that mean?" Aldeon seemed offended.
"That means that I told him to back off! Maranwe, he just *kissed* you! Not a friendly peck on the cheek, a *kiss* kiss!"
"Yes, Aldeon, I realize that, but it was not for the reasons that you are evidently thinking! He just did it to anger Marilla! Perhaps not the best way to do that, but it definitely did not call for you to 'warn him off'! What gives you the right," I was cut off by Aldeon's heated answer.
"What gives me the right?! I am your older brother, Maranwe, and therefore I look after you, whether you like it or not!" I stood and looked down at him.
"I can look after myself quite alright, thank you very much. If you ever feel like 'looking after me' again, how about telling me first? What if he did kiss me for the reason which you most obviously fear? And," I continued, only doing so to make him angrier, "What if I even kissed him back? How would you 'look after me' then?" He stood quickly form the bed, incensed.
"If you only knew. ," he began with a finger in the air to accentuate whatever point he was about to make before he stopped himself. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"If I only knew what?" He shook his head.
"Nothing." I glared at him for a moment.
"Please leave," I said in a controlled voice. When he made no move to do so, I went and opened the door for him, only to find Legolas on the other side with a raised fist, obviously about to knock. I could not help but groan.
"What are *you* doing here?" Aldeon said as he began advancing towards the door. "I thought I told you -"
"Whatever it was you told him concerning me is null and void. I can take care of myself, thank you, and right now, I would prefer that both of you leave. I am angry enough at the both of you combined to just. explode! So can you both. Please. Leave," I said in a very forceful tone. Aldeon made a move to leave, but stopped just beyond the doorway as he apparently was not going to leave while Legolas was still there, and he was not going to give up easily.
"I only wanted to-"
"Whatever it is can wait until tomorrow," I announced, pushing them both far enough out of the door to close it in their faces. Then, on second thought, I cracked it open again to see them glaring at each other. "And if you two argue or fight, I swear that I will never speak to either of you again!" And with that, I shut the door with a satisfying click. As I went to lie back down on my bed, I tried my best to shut off all thoughts whatsoever from my mind, but it was useless.
I could always tell myself that the kiss was only for show, but something seemed wrong about that. Something in the back of my mind spoke out against that. Something that pointed out how he had seemed to be trying to restrain himself during the kiss, as if he was having to work hard to stop himself from. from what? And how I thought I had detected disappointment in his voice when I said I was only stepping closer because Marilla was watching. But that was only his reaction. What about mine? Why did it seem to have taken me so long to pull away? And before I had pulled away. what had happened then? When he was standing so close, with his lips on mine? I let out a frustrated scream into the pillow before eventually falling asleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I awoke the next morning with a start because of a soft knock at my door. "Mara? Are you awake yet?"
"I am now," I groaned as I rolled out of bed. "You do realize that it is dawn?" I asked as I opened the door to Legolas.
"Sometimes you are up this early," he said sheepishly. "Besides you told me last night to come back 'tomorrow'. You never said exactly when 'tomorrow." I rolled my eyes as I stepped aside to let him through. I started to say something, but he held up a finger to stop me. "No. Sit," he said, pointing to the bed. "And let me speak first." I nodded and did as he said. I really did not feel like arguing. I had had plenty of that with Aldeon last night. "What I did last night was totally and completely wrong. I should have known better than to kiss you like that in front of all those people. I was not thinking, and I am extremely sorry. Please forgive me?" I sat silently just to give him a little scare before smiling.
"Of course I forgive you. Which you already knew I would do, of course." Legolas let out a long breath and rubbed his hands over his face.
"Actually, this time I was a little worried," he admitted.
"Now only want to know one thing," I said with a grin.
"What?" he asked suspiciously.
"How many times did you rehearse that speech?"
"Well, I lost count sometime in the wee hours of the morning," he laughed. He sobered quickly, though and looked at me seriously before reaching out to hug me. I was wavering between hugging back and pulling away, simply because after last night, it was hard to judge these things, but he sensed my hesitation and made it a quick hug. "You know I would never purposely do anything to embarrass you, right?"
"I know," I replied. "All is forgiven. Last night never happened," I assured him, but the look that flickered across his face when I said it never happened was enough to give me a moment's pause before I continued. "Um, I was wondering what exactly happened with Aldeon after I left last night.
"I do not want to say anything that will make you angry at him." I dismissed this with a wave of my hand.
"That is already done. I do not think I can get any angrier at him than I am now. I would really like to know what he said," I added for emphasis. Legolas gave me a long look before caving.
"Just after you left, he just walked by and grabbed my arm. He took me outside and gave me a good tongue-lashing, which I *did* deserve, by the way." He stopped, but I raised my eyebrows, letting him know that I wanted specifics. "He asked me how I could dare to do that to you, did I realize how humiliating that had to have been. Then he told me to. ah. be careful, that he would not let me get away with such a stunt again. He told me to give you some space for a while. But I knew that I could not," he added. "I had to come apologize, even though last night I really had no clue what I was going to say."
"He did not hit you or anything did he?" Legolas let out a half- hearted laugh.
"No, although I could tell he wanted to. But I would not blame him if he had. I deserved what I got."
"Well, whatever he said, forget it. He had no right to come down on you like that."
"He had every right! What I did was wrong and he knew it. Besides, there are other." Why did I feel as if he and Aldeon were both keeping something from me?
" 'Other' what?"
"He only shook his head and mumbled "Nothing," but I was tired of secrets.
"No, it is not 'nothing'. Something is going on, or you know something, and Aldeon does too! That look he gave you last night even before. what happened, and then he stopped himself from saying something last night, and now you! I am tired of everyone being so secretive! I want to know whatever it is!"
"I wish I could tell you, more than anything, more than you can know, but I cannot!" I had stood from the bed in my anger and my eyes had filled with tears. It was not only the secretiveness, but a culmination of everything that had happened. Legolas's own fervor about the matter was only making me feel worse.
"What could be so terrible that even when you want to tell me, you cannot?" I asked as I sank back onto the bed, emotionally exhausted.
"It is not terrible," replied Legolas soothingly as he kneeled in front of me and took my hands. "It is far from terrible, it is wonderful, and I will tell you eventually, but not now," he said earnestly. "You must trust me to tell you eventually, no matter how long from now it may be."
"I trust you," I said weakly. "I only wish I did not feel as if I am being deceived." Legolas did not reply, only gave my hands a gentle squeeze before standing. He picked my feet up from where my legs were hanging off the side of the bed and placed them on the bed, forcing me to lie down. "What are you doing?" I asked as he pulled the cover over me.
"You need to sleep," he said. I began to protest, but he stopped me. "I know that you only just woke up, but I can tell that you are tired, so you are going to sleep." It was not worth the argument to fight him, and besides, I was a little sleepy. He leaned down and kissed my forehead softly before he turned to leave. I was asleep before he had pulled the door closed behind him.
~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Well, all I can say is please review, if only for my muses' sakes!
Megolas1: Thanks for your reviews, and especially for reading both my fics!
Coolio: Thanks!
Tony: As always, I love your reviews, but I just have to say that the last one was my favorite. The reason is that When I read fics, I always want to be able to visualize everything, like a 'film running through my head', so I always strived to make my fics like that, and when you said that, it just made my day (. I am glad you liked the music selection!
Elvenrocker: Thanks! I always like Legolas as a brother figure, too. However, don't jump to conclusions as to how the romance will ensue; unfortunately for them, I often tend to be quite unkind to my characters, as you can probably tell from all the tragedy poor Mara has had to endure!
ElvenStar5: Am I being fast enough??
Confusion and Reconciliation:
~*~"Oh." Of course I was only imagining the disappointment in his voice. Whatever it was I was heard, however, disappeared as all I could hear in his next statement was pure mischievousness. "Well then, in that case." I barely had time to gasp in surprise before he quickly lowered his face and his lips met mine. ~*~
It should have been obvious what he was going to do, but I did not realize until he was too close to pull away. When his lips first touched mine, my brain was telling me that it was only for show, to infuriate Marilla, but as his lips lingered there and he even tried to deepen the kiss, my instincts told me that this was something else. At first I was too shocked to do anything, but then I began to feel. I felt everything ten times more distinctly than before; his body so close the mine, the glances in our direction, his lips touching, then caressing mine, and the restrained urgency behind it all. However, the 'feeling' part only lasted a fraction of a second before my brain finally began working again and I pulled away, gasping. I began to speak, but found that I could only stare in disbelief. I realized that he looked every bit a shocked as I did, but this did nothing to assuage my humiliation. and confusion. I saw my brother coming towards us, looking none too happy, as I turned to leave as quickly as possible.
~*~*~*~*~*~
There was a soft knock at my door. "Mara?" I did not reply. I was much too busy doing what I had been doing for the last half hour since I returned from the dance: burying my face in my pillow. Obviously my brother took my silence as an invitation to enter. The door opened and he entered cautiously.
"I really do not feel like having company right now," I said. The pillow muffled my words, but Aldeon obviously understood them well enough.
"I am not company; I am your brother. Who is concerned about you," he replied as he sat on the edge of the bed.
"There is no reason for your concern," I said, raising my head as if to prove my point. His grim expression, however, told me that this would not be that easy.
"In case you have forgotten, Legolas just kissed you in front of the whole of Mirkwood," he said.
"Oh, really?" I retorted sarcastically. "Thank you for the reminder; the embarrassment and humiliation was not doing a good enough job of it." He rolled his eyes, but then softened and reached for my hand, which I pulled away.
"I would really rather be alone right now," I said. Aldeon sighed.
"Alright. But just so you know, I did warn Legolas off." I sat up.
" 'Warned him off'?" I asked. "What exactly does that mean?" Aldeon seemed offended.
"That means that I told him to back off! Maranwe, he just *kissed* you! Not a friendly peck on the cheek, a *kiss* kiss!"
"Yes, Aldeon, I realize that, but it was not for the reasons that you are evidently thinking! He just did it to anger Marilla! Perhaps not the best way to do that, but it definitely did not call for you to 'warn him off'! What gives you the right," I was cut off by Aldeon's heated answer.
"What gives me the right?! I am your older brother, Maranwe, and therefore I look after you, whether you like it or not!" I stood and looked down at him.
"I can look after myself quite alright, thank you very much. If you ever feel like 'looking after me' again, how about telling me first? What if he did kiss me for the reason which you most obviously fear? And," I continued, only doing so to make him angrier, "What if I even kissed him back? How would you 'look after me' then?" He stood quickly form the bed, incensed.
"If you only knew. ," he began with a finger in the air to accentuate whatever point he was about to make before he stopped himself. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"If I only knew what?" He shook his head.
"Nothing." I glared at him for a moment.
"Please leave," I said in a controlled voice. When he made no move to do so, I went and opened the door for him, only to find Legolas on the other side with a raised fist, obviously about to knock. I could not help but groan.
"What are *you* doing here?" Aldeon said as he began advancing towards the door. "I thought I told you -"
"Whatever it was you told him concerning me is null and void. I can take care of myself, thank you, and right now, I would prefer that both of you leave. I am angry enough at the both of you combined to just. explode! So can you both. Please. Leave," I said in a very forceful tone. Aldeon made a move to leave, but stopped just beyond the doorway as he apparently was not going to leave while Legolas was still there, and he was not going to give up easily.
"I only wanted to-"
"Whatever it is can wait until tomorrow," I announced, pushing them both far enough out of the door to close it in their faces. Then, on second thought, I cracked it open again to see them glaring at each other. "And if you two argue or fight, I swear that I will never speak to either of you again!" And with that, I shut the door with a satisfying click. As I went to lie back down on my bed, I tried my best to shut off all thoughts whatsoever from my mind, but it was useless.
I could always tell myself that the kiss was only for show, but something seemed wrong about that. Something in the back of my mind spoke out against that. Something that pointed out how he had seemed to be trying to restrain himself during the kiss, as if he was having to work hard to stop himself from. from what? And how I thought I had detected disappointment in his voice when I said I was only stepping closer because Marilla was watching. But that was only his reaction. What about mine? Why did it seem to have taken me so long to pull away? And before I had pulled away. what had happened then? When he was standing so close, with his lips on mine? I let out a frustrated scream into the pillow before eventually falling asleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I awoke the next morning with a start because of a soft knock at my door. "Mara? Are you awake yet?"
"I am now," I groaned as I rolled out of bed. "You do realize that it is dawn?" I asked as I opened the door to Legolas.
"Sometimes you are up this early," he said sheepishly. "Besides you told me last night to come back 'tomorrow'. You never said exactly when 'tomorrow." I rolled my eyes as I stepped aside to let him through. I started to say something, but he held up a finger to stop me. "No. Sit," he said, pointing to the bed. "And let me speak first." I nodded and did as he said. I really did not feel like arguing. I had had plenty of that with Aldeon last night. "What I did last night was totally and completely wrong. I should have known better than to kiss you like that in front of all those people. I was not thinking, and I am extremely sorry. Please forgive me?" I sat silently just to give him a little scare before smiling.
"Of course I forgive you. Which you already knew I would do, of course." Legolas let out a long breath and rubbed his hands over his face.
"Actually, this time I was a little worried," he admitted.
"Now only want to know one thing," I said with a grin.
"What?" he asked suspiciously.
"How many times did you rehearse that speech?"
"Well, I lost count sometime in the wee hours of the morning," he laughed. He sobered quickly, though and looked at me seriously before reaching out to hug me. I was wavering between hugging back and pulling away, simply because after last night, it was hard to judge these things, but he sensed my hesitation and made it a quick hug. "You know I would never purposely do anything to embarrass you, right?"
"I know," I replied. "All is forgiven. Last night never happened," I assured him, but the look that flickered across his face when I said it never happened was enough to give me a moment's pause before I continued. "Um, I was wondering what exactly happened with Aldeon after I left last night.
"I do not want to say anything that will make you angry at him." I dismissed this with a wave of my hand.
"That is already done. I do not think I can get any angrier at him than I am now. I would really like to know what he said," I added for emphasis. Legolas gave me a long look before caving.
"Just after you left, he just walked by and grabbed my arm. He took me outside and gave me a good tongue-lashing, which I *did* deserve, by the way." He stopped, but I raised my eyebrows, letting him know that I wanted specifics. "He asked me how I could dare to do that to you, did I realize how humiliating that had to have been. Then he told me to. ah. be careful, that he would not let me get away with such a stunt again. He told me to give you some space for a while. But I knew that I could not," he added. "I had to come apologize, even though last night I really had no clue what I was going to say."
"He did not hit you or anything did he?" Legolas let out a half- hearted laugh.
"No, although I could tell he wanted to. But I would not blame him if he had. I deserved what I got."
"Well, whatever he said, forget it. He had no right to come down on you like that."
"He had every right! What I did was wrong and he knew it. Besides, there are other." Why did I feel as if he and Aldeon were both keeping something from me?
" 'Other' what?"
"He only shook his head and mumbled "Nothing," but I was tired of secrets.
"No, it is not 'nothing'. Something is going on, or you know something, and Aldeon does too! That look he gave you last night even before. what happened, and then he stopped himself from saying something last night, and now you! I am tired of everyone being so secretive! I want to know whatever it is!"
"I wish I could tell you, more than anything, more than you can know, but I cannot!" I had stood from the bed in my anger and my eyes had filled with tears. It was not only the secretiveness, but a culmination of everything that had happened. Legolas's own fervor about the matter was only making me feel worse.
"What could be so terrible that even when you want to tell me, you cannot?" I asked as I sank back onto the bed, emotionally exhausted.
"It is not terrible," replied Legolas soothingly as he kneeled in front of me and took my hands. "It is far from terrible, it is wonderful, and I will tell you eventually, but not now," he said earnestly. "You must trust me to tell you eventually, no matter how long from now it may be."
"I trust you," I said weakly. "I only wish I did not feel as if I am being deceived." Legolas did not reply, only gave my hands a gentle squeeze before standing. He picked my feet up from where my legs were hanging off the side of the bed and placed them on the bed, forcing me to lie down. "What are you doing?" I asked as he pulled the cover over me.
"You need to sleep," he said. I began to protest, but he stopped me. "I know that you only just woke up, but I can tell that you are tired, so you are going to sleep." It was not worth the argument to fight him, and besides, I was a little sleepy. He leaned down and kissed my forehead softly before he turned to leave. I was asleep before he had pulled the door closed behind him.
~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Well, all I can say is please review, if only for my muses' sakes!