I could see my family crying, sobbing, but I couldn't hear anything. It's like I went deaf. I placed my hand onto Taichi's shoulder, but he didn't look up at me. He just kept crying.
'Tai...' I tried to say, but no words came out of my mouth. I started to panic. What was happening to me?
I looked to my left, and saw doctors and nurses running back and forth. I walked down the hallway, careful to not bump into anybody. I saw a little boy who broke his arm. I saw a guy who had a cut on his forehead.
Then I saw the enclosed operating rooms. One had a woman, and from what her husband was saying, had a heart attack. Another one they were trying to save a mother and her unborn child. One had a man who had a bullet in his leg. And then I saw another room that looked crowded with nurses and doctors. I couldn't see from where I was standing who they were operating on, so I went through the door and got a tad closer.
And I saw me.
They were operating on me.
I walked up to myself slowly, fearing what I saw. I was laying there, tubes attached to me, wires running back and forth. I could see a flat line, but I couldn't hear it. I could only see the doctor mouth 'charge to 500' to one of the nurses who did so.
He placed two paddles onto my chest, and I felt the electricity running through my veins, but I wasn't there. I put a hand on my face. I could feel my own sweat.
'charge to 550' he said again.
'clear.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I jumped up, gasping for air, panicking. I could feel my heart pumping wildly, like it was trying to escape. My lungs felt so heavy, and I couldn't breathe correctly. I had a tube in my throat. I was crying out of fear, I could see my own blood. Two nurses pushed my down while a different doctor injected something into me. I only saw them for a brief second before I was out like a light in a hurricane.
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I fluttered my eyes open, and saw so many machines, heard so many noises. I could see, if I looked really hard, doctors and nurses walking back forth through the window. One of them came in, checked a couple of things, and told me the doctor would be right in to inform me of my condition. I waited, and he did finally come in.
"Do you know where you are?" he asked me. I nodded.
"There's a tube that's in your throat that was helping you to breathe. We're going to take it out, but what I need you to do is take in a deep breath, and when I say, exhale."
I nodded. The doctor unhooked a couple of things, then took a hold of the tube.
"Ok, take in a deep breath," he said. I did so.
"Now exhale."
I did, and when the tube was out of my throat, I started coughing violently. They gave me a glass of water, and it helped me to stop coughing.
"There are some detectives outside that would like to talk to you, ok?" the doctor informed me.
"Why would they want to talk to me?" I asked. My voice sounded flaky and scratched up.
"Um, do you know why you're here?" he asked me. I shook my head.
"You were shot."
I was shot. How did I get shot? Did someone in my family shoot me? I don't remember being any where that would make it capable for me to get shot. Who would want to shoot me? What did I ever do that would make someone want to shoot me?
"Ok." I said softly. "Let them in." I said as I motioned to the door. The doctor nodded, and left the room. A couple of seconds later a woman and man came in. I could see the gleam coming from the woman's gun.
The walked up to me, and introduced themselves. The woman was detective Cordey, and the man was detective Ronald. They asked me how I was feeling.
"Like I just had a tube pulled out of my throat." I chuckled lightly.
"I hope you feel better." detective Cordey said. She opened up a folder, and placed it in front of me. It had pictures of 12 men.
"Do you recognize any of these men?" she asked me. I scanned through them and none of them looked familiar. Except one. I pointed to it.
"Where do you recognize him from?" detective Ronald asked me.
"He's..." I started, short of breath, "my brother's room mate."
The detectives looked at each other suspiciously, then thanked me and walked out of the room.
I felt so exhausted. Like I was drained of my energy. I wasn't tired, just exhausted.
And what did Taichi's room mate have to do with me being shot? He seemed like a wonderful guy when I saw him, just cautious. I hope I didn't get him into unnecessary trouble.
I heard the door open, but didn't bother to look who it was. I already knew.
"Hey Hika." Yamato said to me. I turned to look at him, and his eyes were red and puffy. I felt so awful.
"Come here." I whispered as I opened my arms to him. He walked up to me and gave me a gentle, yet loving hug. I could feel him sobbing secretly.
"Matt..." I whispered as I rubbed his back comfortingly, "I'm ok."
He lifted his head and looked at me, and ran his thumb across my cheek.
"Don't ever leave." he said softly. I gave him a small smile. I couldn't promise him I would stay. Things happen. People change.
Matt let a few tears flow. I leaned up, and kissed him gently. I could feel his tears on my cheeks. He pulled away slowly and looked at me. Like he was memorizing every line and fracture in my eyes.
"Hikari...Tai was arrested." he said quietly.
I closed my eyes and sighed. I was only half surprised. He was a drug dealer, after all.
"He deserved it." I said harshly.
"You shouldn't be so hard on him, Hika." Yamato said with a sad smile.
"Matt..." I started, but figured it wasn't worth fighting over. Matt was Taichi's best friend, and he wasn't about to let him down. I sighed in defeat.
"I'll try." I uttered.
Matt gave me a smile of reassurance, and kissed me again before telling me that my parents wanted to see me. I nodded and let out a small sigh, and then he walked out of the room and my parents walked in. Mom first, then dad behind her. They walked up slowly to the bed, as if ashamed of themselves, or ashamed of me. I couldn't quite tell.
"Honey...Are you ok?" my mom asked me quietly.
"I've felt better." I said softly. My mother rubbed her arm nervously, while my dad stood still in the middle of the room.
"I'm sorry, daddy..." I whimpered. "I'm so sorry."
I felt awful. How could I leave my parents? What kind of savage monster was I? I left my home without any notice, I stole, I lied, I was horrific.
"How could you leave like that, Hikari?" my dad asked me disgustingly, as though I were trash.
"I just..." I started as my tears started to flow, "I couldn't stay there. With everything that was happening with Tai and Takeru and-"
"Who do you think you are, Kari?!" my dad yelled at me. He took my totally by surprise. I didn't know what to say or think. I just let my mouth hang open. My dad stormed out, and my mom apologized for my father then followed him out.
Matt came back in, and walked slowly towards me. I could tell he had been listening by the look on his face.
"I don't want to talk about it, Yamato." I said, cold enough for him to believe me.
"Ok." he whispered. I could feel my face getting warm and my eye sight blurring from all the water I was concealing near them. I blinked once, and my tears flowed out of my eyes and down my face. Yamato wiped them away, and kissed my cheek.
And I started to sob. Silently, at first. But when Yamato held me close to him, I cried into his chest until I couldn't cry any more.
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"What are we going to do, Kari?" Gatomon asked me quietly from the other end of Yamato's bed.
"I don't know." I said quietly with a sigh. Gatomon sat there patiently for a few more minutes, then went off to play with Patomon.
"How you feelin'?" Yamato asked me from the hallway.
"Sick." I replied. He came into his bedroom and sat down next to me on the bed and wrapped his arms around me.
"Is like a physical sick? I can call the doctor if you want me to-"
"It's not that kind of sick." I interrupted.
"Oh." Matt said.
"I don't know what to do, Yama." I groaned as I fell backwards onto the bed, out of Matt's arms.
"That's ok, you don't have to right now." he told me reassuringly.
"School's almost here." I said, trying to change the subject.
"Yep." Matt said. He fell backwards, laying next to me, and cuddled up next to me.
"What are you doing?" I chuckled.
"Trying to keep warm." he replied.
"Why don't you turn the air conditioning off?" I said.
"'Cause you're better at keeping me warm." he said slyly. I giggled, and Matt rolled over on top of me and gave me a soft kiss. I smiled up at him, and he continued to kiss me, deeply.
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Nothing felt right any more. Nothing was the same. My relationships with Yamato, Takeru, and Taichi were forever changed.
And, although my relationships with the rest of the crew haven't been altered, I would never feel the same again. I would always feel empty, something missing from me. And I could never fill that space again. No matter how hard I try, it's not going to be filled. I'll be able to block it out, make it shrink like chemo to a cancer, but it won't leave. I'll always still feel that desire, that wanting, that need that was taken from me.
And I won't get it back.
I sat up and looked at the clock. I've been asleep for 7 hours. I looked next to me, and Matt was still asleep.
Good.
I slowly turned so my feet could dangle off the side of the bed and I slipped on Yamato's t-shirt and boxers, then I crept out of the room, getting one quick glance at his angelic face before closing the door.
The night was up, but it wasn't very dark out. Being in the city tends to do that.
I walked into the kitchen and poured some old, seven and-a-half hour coffee into a ceramic cup and popped it in the microwave for 45 seconds. I stood there waiting for it, and when it was done poured some hazelnut creamer into it.
I walked through the living room and opened the sliding glass door and onto the balcony. It was nice and cool, just how it's suppose to feel when you're on the verge of changing from summer to autumn.
I closed my eyes, and I could hear the sirens and guitar strums coming from the city. I could feel the vibrations from the drum beats, and the ground moving with every step a runaway took in attempt to escape the police.
I didn't feel good. Nothing was the same. I was in a lost cause city. And no matter where I went, the city was still in me. And I hated it. I hated being there, living there. I needed to get out.
"Nice clothes." I heard some one giggle from behind me. They wrapped their arms around me and kissed my neck.
"What are you doing up?" Matt asked me.
"Thinking." I replied.
"About what?" Yamato asked me. I looked up at him, then stood up so he could sit down. I sat down on his lap and leaned against his bare chest.
"About what I'm going to do with myself." I sighed. "I can't stay here, Yama. I can't go back to Okayama. I don't know where I CAN go."
"Stay here for a couple of weeks and think about it. You have plenty of time."
"No, I can't. I'll go crazy if I stay here another week." I said heavily. Yamato held me closer to him and kissed my forehead softly.
"Just think about it, ok?" he asked me quietly. I nodded, and brought myself closer to him.
All of a sudden I heard this low, ringing noise coming from inside of the apartment. I looked inside, then got up to see what it was. I walked towards the hallway and saw Takeru with my cell phone in his hand, ringing.
"Here." he said to me as he shoved it in my hand. I could see from the corner of his eye as he turned around that he knew I had slept with Yamato. I felt really awful. I denied him but not his brother. I'm sure it hurt him more than it hurt me.
I snapped back to the situation at hand and answered my phone.
"Hello?"
"Ms. Yagami, we need you over here as soon as possible." Katina, the executive's assistant, told me.
"Um, I'm in Odaiba, there's no way I'll be able to get there within three hours."
"We know, we're sending a helicopter to meet you at Odaiba International. It should be there within an hour or so."
"Oh, um, ok, I'll be right there." I said. I hung up the phone and walked into Yamato's bedroom and searched through the clothes that he had brought over when he went to go pick up Gatomon from Okayama. I changed out of Matt's clothes and put on my own, explained the situation to Matt, then left.
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On the way back to Odaiba I was looking out the window of the helicopter, and knew what I was going to do. How I was going to live, where I was going to live, why. Yes, I was frantically worried that I might not make it, but I had to try. Everything was at stake, here. And I couldn't just let the idea slip away. I had to go with it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yes, oh. she's right here. Hold on." Yamato said as I walked through the door. He handed me the phone and whispered "It's the police dept. They found the guy that shot you."
I took the phone in my hand and brought it to my ear.
"Hello?"
"Ms. Yagami, we found who shot you and just thought you'd like to know."
"Thank you. Um, who was it?"
"A man by the name of Dave Reshio."
"Why would he shoot me?"
"It's a little confidential, I'm-"
"Please, just tell me."
"Alright. Your brother owed him some money and he took it out on you, because you were family."
"How'd he know it was me? I've never met anybody named Dave Reshio."
"He was your brother's room mate."
'Tai...' I tried to say, but no words came out of my mouth. I started to panic. What was happening to me?
I looked to my left, and saw doctors and nurses running back and forth. I walked down the hallway, careful to not bump into anybody. I saw a little boy who broke his arm. I saw a guy who had a cut on his forehead.
Then I saw the enclosed operating rooms. One had a woman, and from what her husband was saying, had a heart attack. Another one they were trying to save a mother and her unborn child. One had a man who had a bullet in his leg. And then I saw another room that looked crowded with nurses and doctors. I couldn't see from where I was standing who they were operating on, so I went through the door and got a tad closer.
And I saw me.
They were operating on me.
I walked up to myself slowly, fearing what I saw. I was laying there, tubes attached to me, wires running back and forth. I could see a flat line, but I couldn't hear it. I could only see the doctor mouth 'charge to 500' to one of the nurses who did so.
He placed two paddles onto my chest, and I felt the electricity running through my veins, but I wasn't there. I put a hand on my face. I could feel my own sweat.
'charge to 550' he said again.
'clear.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I jumped up, gasping for air, panicking. I could feel my heart pumping wildly, like it was trying to escape. My lungs felt so heavy, and I couldn't breathe correctly. I had a tube in my throat. I was crying out of fear, I could see my own blood. Two nurses pushed my down while a different doctor injected something into me. I only saw them for a brief second before I was out like a light in a hurricane.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I fluttered my eyes open, and saw so many machines, heard so many noises. I could see, if I looked really hard, doctors and nurses walking back forth through the window. One of them came in, checked a couple of things, and told me the doctor would be right in to inform me of my condition. I waited, and he did finally come in.
"Do you know where you are?" he asked me. I nodded.
"There's a tube that's in your throat that was helping you to breathe. We're going to take it out, but what I need you to do is take in a deep breath, and when I say, exhale."
I nodded. The doctor unhooked a couple of things, then took a hold of the tube.
"Ok, take in a deep breath," he said. I did so.
"Now exhale."
I did, and when the tube was out of my throat, I started coughing violently. They gave me a glass of water, and it helped me to stop coughing.
"There are some detectives outside that would like to talk to you, ok?" the doctor informed me.
"Why would they want to talk to me?" I asked. My voice sounded flaky and scratched up.
"Um, do you know why you're here?" he asked me. I shook my head.
"You were shot."
I was shot. How did I get shot? Did someone in my family shoot me? I don't remember being any where that would make it capable for me to get shot. Who would want to shoot me? What did I ever do that would make someone want to shoot me?
"Ok." I said softly. "Let them in." I said as I motioned to the door. The doctor nodded, and left the room. A couple of seconds later a woman and man came in. I could see the gleam coming from the woman's gun.
The walked up to me, and introduced themselves. The woman was detective Cordey, and the man was detective Ronald. They asked me how I was feeling.
"Like I just had a tube pulled out of my throat." I chuckled lightly.
"I hope you feel better." detective Cordey said. She opened up a folder, and placed it in front of me. It had pictures of 12 men.
"Do you recognize any of these men?" she asked me. I scanned through them and none of them looked familiar. Except one. I pointed to it.
"Where do you recognize him from?" detective Ronald asked me.
"He's..." I started, short of breath, "my brother's room mate."
The detectives looked at each other suspiciously, then thanked me and walked out of the room.
I felt so exhausted. Like I was drained of my energy. I wasn't tired, just exhausted.
And what did Taichi's room mate have to do with me being shot? He seemed like a wonderful guy when I saw him, just cautious. I hope I didn't get him into unnecessary trouble.
I heard the door open, but didn't bother to look who it was. I already knew.
"Hey Hika." Yamato said to me. I turned to look at him, and his eyes were red and puffy. I felt so awful.
"Come here." I whispered as I opened my arms to him. He walked up to me and gave me a gentle, yet loving hug. I could feel him sobbing secretly.
"Matt..." I whispered as I rubbed his back comfortingly, "I'm ok."
He lifted his head and looked at me, and ran his thumb across my cheek.
"Don't ever leave." he said softly. I gave him a small smile. I couldn't promise him I would stay. Things happen. People change.
Matt let a few tears flow. I leaned up, and kissed him gently. I could feel his tears on my cheeks. He pulled away slowly and looked at me. Like he was memorizing every line and fracture in my eyes.
"Hikari...Tai was arrested." he said quietly.
I closed my eyes and sighed. I was only half surprised. He was a drug dealer, after all.
"He deserved it." I said harshly.
"You shouldn't be so hard on him, Hika." Yamato said with a sad smile.
"Matt..." I started, but figured it wasn't worth fighting over. Matt was Taichi's best friend, and he wasn't about to let him down. I sighed in defeat.
"I'll try." I uttered.
Matt gave me a smile of reassurance, and kissed me again before telling me that my parents wanted to see me. I nodded and let out a small sigh, and then he walked out of the room and my parents walked in. Mom first, then dad behind her. They walked up slowly to the bed, as if ashamed of themselves, or ashamed of me. I couldn't quite tell.
"Honey...Are you ok?" my mom asked me quietly.
"I've felt better." I said softly. My mother rubbed her arm nervously, while my dad stood still in the middle of the room.
"I'm sorry, daddy..." I whimpered. "I'm so sorry."
I felt awful. How could I leave my parents? What kind of savage monster was I? I left my home without any notice, I stole, I lied, I was horrific.
"How could you leave like that, Hikari?" my dad asked me disgustingly, as though I were trash.
"I just..." I started as my tears started to flow, "I couldn't stay there. With everything that was happening with Tai and Takeru and-"
"Who do you think you are, Kari?!" my dad yelled at me. He took my totally by surprise. I didn't know what to say or think. I just let my mouth hang open. My dad stormed out, and my mom apologized for my father then followed him out.
Matt came back in, and walked slowly towards me. I could tell he had been listening by the look on his face.
"I don't want to talk about it, Yamato." I said, cold enough for him to believe me.
"Ok." he whispered. I could feel my face getting warm and my eye sight blurring from all the water I was concealing near them. I blinked once, and my tears flowed out of my eyes and down my face. Yamato wiped them away, and kissed my cheek.
And I started to sob. Silently, at first. But when Yamato held me close to him, I cried into his chest until I couldn't cry any more.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"What are we going to do, Kari?" Gatomon asked me quietly from the other end of Yamato's bed.
"I don't know." I said quietly with a sigh. Gatomon sat there patiently for a few more minutes, then went off to play with Patomon.
"How you feelin'?" Yamato asked me from the hallway.
"Sick." I replied. He came into his bedroom and sat down next to me on the bed and wrapped his arms around me.
"Is like a physical sick? I can call the doctor if you want me to-"
"It's not that kind of sick." I interrupted.
"Oh." Matt said.
"I don't know what to do, Yama." I groaned as I fell backwards onto the bed, out of Matt's arms.
"That's ok, you don't have to right now." he told me reassuringly.
"School's almost here." I said, trying to change the subject.
"Yep." Matt said. He fell backwards, laying next to me, and cuddled up next to me.
"What are you doing?" I chuckled.
"Trying to keep warm." he replied.
"Why don't you turn the air conditioning off?" I said.
"'Cause you're better at keeping me warm." he said slyly. I giggled, and Matt rolled over on top of me and gave me a soft kiss. I smiled up at him, and he continued to kiss me, deeply.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nothing felt right any more. Nothing was the same. My relationships with Yamato, Takeru, and Taichi were forever changed.
And, although my relationships with the rest of the crew haven't been altered, I would never feel the same again. I would always feel empty, something missing from me. And I could never fill that space again. No matter how hard I try, it's not going to be filled. I'll be able to block it out, make it shrink like chemo to a cancer, but it won't leave. I'll always still feel that desire, that wanting, that need that was taken from me.
And I won't get it back.
I sat up and looked at the clock. I've been asleep for 7 hours. I looked next to me, and Matt was still asleep.
Good.
I slowly turned so my feet could dangle off the side of the bed and I slipped on Yamato's t-shirt and boxers, then I crept out of the room, getting one quick glance at his angelic face before closing the door.
The night was up, but it wasn't very dark out. Being in the city tends to do that.
I walked into the kitchen and poured some old, seven and-a-half hour coffee into a ceramic cup and popped it in the microwave for 45 seconds. I stood there waiting for it, and when it was done poured some hazelnut creamer into it.
I walked through the living room and opened the sliding glass door and onto the balcony. It was nice and cool, just how it's suppose to feel when you're on the verge of changing from summer to autumn.
I closed my eyes, and I could hear the sirens and guitar strums coming from the city. I could feel the vibrations from the drum beats, and the ground moving with every step a runaway took in attempt to escape the police.
I didn't feel good. Nothing was the same. I was in a lost cause city. And no matter where I went, the city was still in me. And I hated it. I hated being there, living there. I needed to get out.
"Nice clothes." I heard some one giggle from behind me. They wrapped their arms around me and kissed my neck.
"What are you doing up?" Matt asked me.
"Thinking." I replied.
"About what?" Yamato asked me. I looked up at him, then stood up so he could sit down. I sat down on his lap and leaned against his bare chest.
"About what I'm going to do with myself." I sighed. "I can't stay here, Yama. I can't go back to Okayama. I don't know where I CAN go."
"Stay here for a couple of weeks and think about it. You have plenty of time."
"No, I can't. I'll go crazy if I stay here another week." I said heavily. Yamato held me closer to him and kissed my forehead softly.
"Just think about it, ok?" he asked me quietly. I nodded, and brought myself closer to him.
All of a sudden I heard this low, ringing noise coming from inside of the apartment. I looked inside, then got up to see what it was. I walked towards the hallway and saw Takeru with my cell phone in his hand, ringing.
"Here." he said to me as he shoved it in my hand. I could see from the corner of his eye as he turned around that he knew I had slept with Yamato. I felt really awful. I denied him but not his brother. I'm sure it hurt him more than it hurt me.
I snapped back to the situation at hand and answered my phone.
"Hello?"
"Ms. Yagami, we need you over here as soon as possible." Katina, the executive's assistant, told me.
"Um, I'm in Odaiba, there's no way I'll be able to get there within three hours."
"We know, we're sending a helicopter to meet you at Odaiba International. It should be there within an hour or so."
"Oh, um, ok, I'll be right there." I said. I hung up the phone and walked into Yamato's bedroom and searched through the clothes that he had brought over when he went to go pick up Gatomon from Okayama. I changed out of Matt's clothes and put on my own, explained the situation to Matt, then left.
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On the way back to Odaiba I was looking out the window of the helicopter, and knew what I was going to do. How I was going to live, where I was going to live, why. Yes, I was frantically worried that I might not make it, but I had to try. Everything was at stake, here. And I couldn't just let the idea slip away. I had to go with it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yes, oh. she's right here. Hold on." Yamato said as I walked through the door. He handed me the phone and whispered "It's the police dept. They found the guy that shot you."
I took the phone in my hand and brought it to my ear.
"Hello?"
"Ms. Yagami, we found who shot you and just thought you'd like to know."
"Thank you. Um, who was it?"
"A man by the name of Dave Reshio."
"Why would he shoot me?"
"It's a little confidential, I'm-"
"Please, just tell me."
"Alright. Your brother owed him some money and he took it out on you, because you were family."
"How'd he know it was me? I've never met anybody named Dave Reshio."
"He was your brother's room mate."