Chapter Five-Forever and All Time

Years had passed since that night. The Titans have not forgotten Robin, but Robin has been forgotten. Slade has taught him his ways, and Robin no longer cares. But when Robin comes back, can 'they' turn it all around?

It has been years since that night. The other Titans have stopped searching. To them, I am dead or in Switzerland. They don't know about the probes or about Slade. I wish I could remember their names. I watch them through the cameras that we had put in. Today is Blorthhog, but they weep instead of celebrate. I have made a conclusion on what they believe. They think I was mad at them for something (maybe that I was not allowed to train for three more weeks) and ran away. The saddest one, I cannot think of her name, but I know she is the gentlest and sweetest of them, believes that I ran from fear of the other Titans. I have heard her explain it several times, but I have yet to understand.

The half human one, his name has faded, too, says it is his fault and that he should've been by my side. The darkest one denies it, but I have seen her alone, crying tears away. The green one, his name, too has disappeared, tries to forget and help the others to forget, but it never works. The sweet one whispers to herself "I love you, Robin. I wish you were here. I love you". The other one, the newest one, has decided that I am never coming back. That, unlike her, I plan to stay away forever. For all time. And I do.

Years ago, I told them we would be friends forever. I lied.

I kept my com-link to help me remember the past. Sometimes I will hear a voice. "Robin. Please come back. We all need you. Please answer! Robin, Please!" it shouts to an unknown person. They never answer. Whoever "Robin" is, I wish he'd answer. I wish his voice would soothe the tears of her voice. I wish he would make their pain vanish. But he never does. Sometimes I weep for the girl, in hope my tears will bring their Robin back to them. But it never works.

Many times I have heard other voices. Sometimes telling one another to do something as I once did. Other times, they are trying to contact one another if one is away. If they knew I was listening, they would say that I wouldn't understand. I would understand what they are going through. They would not understand what I am going through. I have forgotten what sunlight is. I have forgotten the stench of Tofu. The delighting smell of chocolate. The laughter of children in a park. It is a wonder I remember how to throw and hit a baseball and how to stand to hit it.

Nothing about that day has left my memory. That was so many years ago. The sobered one is calling for her Robin again. Why will he not answer? Surely he can hear her? Perhaps he has died. Perhaps he has lost his com-link. Or perhaps he has left them forever. He is still alive, but his spirit dead.

Slade does not know about my com-link. He does not know about the cameras. But I am more naïve than he. I do not trust him. No one does. He has not spoken to the titans or met with the titans for how ever long I have been here. Once a month he "tests" them by sending Cinderblock or Plasmus to challenge them. Every month he says it will be my turn one day. That day has yet to come. But I am not looking forward to it. I never want to see them again. Especially the girl that calls for her Robin when she gets the chance.

Her calls have stopped now, being replaced by a bleeping sound (niobe: see How Long is Forever when Nightwing gets out his old titan com-link and presses the button. When it bleeps and flashes red?) and a flash of red. There was trouble. Probably the "Monthly Test" from Slade. Footsteps are faintly growing from a distance. A different voice came over the com-link. "C'mon Star. We don't have much time. Cinderblock and Plasmus are-" "Cyborg. Let her stay if she wants," the dull, flat voice said in repliance. "Fine, Raven. Would you like to stay here Starfire?" the one called "Cyborg" asked her. "One last try and I will join you," the sobered girl sighed crying, "Robin, please respond! We miss you. We love you. I love you...please..." Once again, her Robin never answered.

His footsteps are growing louder now. I shove my com-link away, turning off the bleep. I have to stop writing and put this journal away so he will not see it. I promise I will write more soon. After all, it is my only friend in the world.

I scribbled a name at the bottom of my entry, looking at the time on my digital watch. Midnight. I wrote the time and closed the journal. "I miss you guys, too," Robin said. But how? He seemed dead. The hero side of me longs to see the other titans. I shove the journal into a drawer with my com-link as the door opened. Just as quickly as he had opened the door, it was closed again. Footsteps pounded away from the door, telling me-and Robin-that Slade was gone.

author's note: No real "note" about this one, but this is sooo close to Slade's Apprentice, but I did start it before I read that so who cares? 'Nother chap soon!

Niobe